All Comments on 'Slutty Sara's Adventures'
by BAD BOY BILL
- 10 Comments
BAD BOY BILLalmost 17 years agoAuthorMichaella from UK..thanks for your support..if you read this Sara and I want to talk to you..e-mail me..we are a hot couple with the smoking fetish...Bill
Anonymousalmost 17 years agoI really loved it. It was a huge turn on. To those others that have moaned about it I say, does everything have to be perfect here? Ever heard of a smoking fetish?
Thank you for taking the time to write and post here Bill.
Michaella from the UK
XXX
Anonymousalmost 17 years agoListen, I really enjoyed your work. Don't listen to people who can’t critique worth a damn. However I have a few constructive criticisms I have to tell you about. So that your future works will be better received. I know you are a fan of the smoking a pee fetishes. I am the last person to tell another writer how they should create a story but, not every second work has to be Mores 120 cigarillo. Please for the love of god, have a small description but, not every second word. Second, if you like pee fetishes, I would suggest doing to versions of your story, one with urine and the other with pussy juice or girl cum. Trust me I have been reading stories for a while and let me tell you the pee-free stories do much better. Finally, you desperately need an editor. There were so many grammatical errors in your work I was lost sometimes while I read your stories. Please don’t take this as a put-down. God knows, I have been waiting weeks for a strap-on lesbian humping fun fest. But these errors are seriously diminishing your talent as a writer.
Anonymousalmost 17 years agoIt seems that every scene, every few sentences we are subjected with the imagery of these girls with a Mores 120 cigarello. It is strange that everyone in this story smokes and that they all smoke exactly the same thing. I had to quit reading the story after the umpteenth reference to them. It is very distracting and takes away from what seemed to be a decent story.
Anonymousalmost 17 years agoDidn't care for the constant smoking. Could've been better with out it & adding a guy to the mix.
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