All Comments on 'Snake'

Does he kill the snake? Does he kill his wife? Is he an idiot? We'll never know.

1 star

Half hearted effort and stupid.

He followed his wife's directions to the letter.

However, where did he bury the bodies.

Took a minute to understand, but I like it. Do exactly what she told you to do, although a pick ax handle works best for certain types of snake.

Congratulations on publishing your first story.

Only part of a story. He will end up in prison. How does that help him? This started okay but you need to complete the story.

He thrust and broke a bone in the snake's neck which spent its remaining years unable to slither.

Hilarious!!!!!

I like it.... PLEASE don't turn it into willing cuck story?!

PS: If you do, disable comments because you may be overwhelm with shit coming your way!

Other then that, keep going... Nothing beats good BTB story.

Sometimes on a good day I can go with reconciliation ending.

...... and throw him on the human snake

It was too short, wanted to hear about him actually hitting the snake

Good start you could of put more effort into this story, and told the story as to what happens when you catch a snake in your garden.

Getting rid of the remains might be a problem.

Too short.

The analogy with the snake was fun.

Quite a humorous approach.

This is third-rate "Alfred Hitchcock Presents". 1*

Great start but need to be completed

FTDS

Fun little short story. Pretty damn good. Thanks.

clever. Ignore the people who complain about not giving more detail at the end. For the type of story you've written, the "open ended" ending works perfectly. Good job.

O.K. but it would be nice to see and hear the Swing and Cheaters lament It was Nothing.

Shove the Handle up his ass. No Death but so much Humiliation for both cheaters. He will need to explain to his wife why and how come. She will need to keep hubby out of prison to help with the kids if nothing else. Besides think of the Splinters.

Before he gets a do-over. The fact that you might be doing the field mice--or the little snakelets--a favor isn't legally relevant.

I liked it. Short and pithy. Looking at problem-solving from a unique vantage point. When you keep it short, you don't have to deal with the consequences.

Of course, most commenters want you to break it down for them. There's merit to their thoughts, but it's still your prerogative to deal with only what you choose to.

No cheating woman is worth going to jail over, make sure no witness.

You have to use the right tool to get the job done!

5

Short and humorous...

Started out good just ended poorly. Really needs finishing to be a great story.

I'm with Tajfa

09/28/20

Only part of a story. He will end up in prison. How does that help him? This started okay but you need to complete the story.

Never underestimate a solid golf swing and a garden spade.

That was a fine story. Could do a 2nd part but I kind of like it how it is.

5 stars.

I try to understand what authors are getting at, although sometimes it's difficult. This story completely baffled me. I know that 'absenting yourself' is a frequent plot line but this guy deliberately decided absent himself by spending manyAQ years in gaol. The only person who benefitted from this weirdly irrational decision was his wife. Presumably those commenters who think this was a great idea are the sort of people who love watching others do really stupid things which they wouldn't dream of doing themselves.

we want to see blood and gore and veins in his teeth

Jumping around saying "kill! kill! Kill!"

that's what happens when I'm listening to Arlo Guthrie when I'm online :P

Now that he's in a pickle, he'd better ride on his motorsickle

that guy-u-y don't wanna fry, just wanna ride on his motorsi-cle. ;)

Oh c'mon man I want to know the outcome!

So many readers are lazy.

It's a literary device, the reader is supposed to imagine the ending.

Great story. *****

But a good start to a story.

but missing the kill shot. Still, thanks for the effort.

Blah. Blah.

Snakes, Chapter 2

Another day in the Pen, man this 40 years to life was going to be long. He'd been smart and hooked up with the Aryan Brotherhood thinking to avoid being a sex toy for the brothers. But all that had done was change the color of the snakes that crept up his backside. Yes, he was the new fish and was being passed around the upper levels of his gang. Got to pay yer dues, ya know. And not all the snakes were white. When the other groups got a new sweet ass there were trades made and so besides pinkish white snakes he got to know brown and black snakes. Looking back it seemed like only a short time before that he had put aside dealing with divorce lawyer snakes in favor of doing his own killing. Now that seemed like a really uninformed idea, one he wished he'd abandoned.

R.

All 3 of your stories are a waste of time, no plot, no characters worth liking, not worth reading!

Bury them under the shed....deep under..... everyone will think the female snake slithered off with the neighbor snake....lesson learned??

That was funny thanks for your time and effort!

Nicely done.

Nice touch!

Good read. Thanks for sharing.

This had true potential as a bold statement about adultery and the appropriate consequences for betrayal. The set up was concise and made nice use of double entendre.

Ending the story with the enraged cuckold climbing the stairs toward his confrontation with the two people who have destroyed his marriage was a disappointment and a missed opportunity for a great LW scene. A fine ending would not necessarily have included death.

Please stay the course in your future stories. Will look forward to reading them.

....but you never seem to finish any of your stories...why? ***

Nice! 4*

He took shovel handle and

She got

And he upgraded

but I need the action retribution, explanations etc. for closure.

Reading again. This one is even better the second time, and we definitely need chapter two.

Should be humor....great satire

I wanted to read a nice vengeful ending.

So where is the end? Lost ability to finish the plot?

Lol seem to be quite the fan of similes

no ending

Cute.

It should have ended with the ringing noise that the head of a shovel gives off when it strikes something solid...

5 STARS!!! THANKS

Hope he got BOTH snakes with one shovel...

Too bad there was no real conclusion, only the one we imagine...

Poor.

Second story in a row which is only the beginning of a story.

What will he do? What about prison?

Stories which consist solely of a preamble are frustrating, and very unsatisfying. Why bother?

That's it?

Good story, nice and quick!

To those crying for an ending, do you not have any imagination? Does everything need to be spelled out for you?

Loved it.

Ed

Quick 'n' Dirty!

11/10 Shovels!!!!!

I read it again and I liked it even more! It would be easy to overdo that story, but the author did it just right. The interaction with the wife and her obliviousness to the parallel was perfect. Thank you for sharing.

A good quick read, short and straight to the point

A little too short, but still an interesting read

A good start. How about an ending?

More stars for a finished story

Do you just kill the snake or do you also break up the ground the snake went into in case it laid eggs...?

Umm abrupt end?

2 stars ftds

Unsatisfactory. If he kills that snake in that manner, his life is over, too, because he will spend the rest of his life in jail. I like the snake analogy and I usually like really short stories, but the ending of this one doesn't work for me.

Clever story! Too bad most of your readers did not appreciate what you were doing,

Cute!

Hehe. The double entendre between the husband and the wife (unknowingly) was funny.