All Comments on 'Snowstorm'

An absolutely fantastic, sexy and compelling story. needs some work on the grammar and the shifting viewpoints, but I love it! More! More! More!

I did really like this story.. Please, you must continue with it. I really would like to know how this relationship would continue in the morning, after the snowstorm.

Aside from a few typos, the story was great and the sex was freakin hot as hell. Keep'em coming!

really liked it. Check your work or maybe get someone to edit. You went between he/she and we/us in the same paragraph, along with some grammatical and spelling errors. love a good running story that can expand the storyline

For your first story, I'm VERY impressed. Steamy, sexy, sensual. With a little editorial polishing, you'll be top notch. Congrats on a great story!!!

First of all, your story is great, I enjoyed it and would like to read more. But please find a volunteer editor here on Lit. The story will flow easier and make more sense.

Other than that it's really good. You made me want to know more about both of them. Keep up the good work.

get an editor. The story itself was nice but the constant changes in POV was awful. Get an editor or have a friend proof read. Hopefully you'll continue this story, it's very interesting.

Very descriptive and sentual. I love the "k9 type" of activity ;D

you screwed up the points of view

I love this. The concept is great and the mating was ideal. You did change POV "He, she" to "Me , us" but if you fixed that this would be perfect. I want you to write a sequal :D

...of who is telling the story. You switched back and forth between first and third person. Proof read!

Apart from the obvious mistakes with first person and third person it was a very good story and totally lovely.

Whlie as much I enjoyed this story, it needs proofreading. You switch in between the second and third person too often.

I really enjoyed the story I hope you continue with it!!