by satyrsbard
Really good story. Fine place to end it, but I’d like to read how his wife reacted to the new reality.
I liked the story, but you ended it too soon. I'm pretty sure all your readers were looking forward to the conflict between husband and wife. We need to see some justice. How would she react to being told he was dumping her for something better? Would she fight the divorce? Would the swingers be exposed? Would they retaliate? So many questions... you ended too soon.
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Really needed to see the swingers be humiliated or something, wanted to watch while his wife was shocked back to reality: she thought she was in control and gave up her husband just to be a part of the sadist's group. Now she's on the outside, looking for love in all the wrong places.
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I had a few "fun" girlfriends in college. Good looking, great bodies, smart, great in bed. I did the swinger thing a few times, but didn't care for sloppy seconds, even though the women cleaned up between men. My girlfriends had fun, but preferred me simply because I already knew how to ring their bell.
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The only reason I was able to "share" my girlfriend was because I didn't really care all that much. I knew we were just together for fun, not in love, so why not? We both wanted to. But I'm married now and I wouldn't do that again for any amount of money. I'm convinced it's the same for other swingers and that's why they have such a high divorce rate: they aren't in love so they don't get jealous.
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They're just in it for fun and, if they find someone interesting that catches their eye, they're gone. You'd be surprised how often and how many women leave swinging to start a monogamous relationship with a new man. Swinging will kill a marriage, even if both spouses were thrilled at the start. I only participated in 6 or 7 parties over a 4 year period, had some fun, but I don't miss it... not a bit.
It was interesting to me that his first thought was that his wife had set him up rather than that she, herself, had been set up. Must not have been a good marriage from the jump if the guy's first thought is to distrust his wife.
First of your stories i have read and am highly impressed. Might have been interesting to see how you treated the aftermath but the story does stand as is.
Enjoyable. 5 stars for me. The end was a little short for me being a romantic. I would have liked to see more concluding interaction between them.
Why is it that your main male character in your stories, is one degree away from being mentally retarded? Terminally stupid. They are meant to be College educated yet can barely tie their own shoelaces without supervision. Same thing for this husband. His slut wife was "running around" on him and he never guessed.
This story is unfinished.
What happened after...
Ok probably divorce and then Kacey and that cuck Xander gets together...
Like why am I finishing the story?
This story needs the aftermath in the author's view not mine.
Had the makings of a good story but the absence of any confrontation or even discussion with his wife left the story incomplete. Why did she do it? Was she ready for the fallout from her cheating? Perhaps a sister story from her perspective and how it ended for her would be worth considering.
The story started with an interesting premise, but then fell apart. Why was Leslie acting as she did? Why did Zander not address the issues with Leslie? Then Kacey is conveniently introduced, and Leslie goes missing for the rest of the story. The story turned to being disappointing.
Good so far but doesn’t seem to be finished. What about the confrontation with his wife and neighbors? Did he stay married and have an affair of his own? Seems unlikely but what happens next? Did he get any revenge for being treated like a cuckold idiot? Did his wife catch aids and die a horrible death? Did he eventually forgive her? Did she become a waste of breath after being passed around as a whore? Did the rock star dedicate her next album to him and rejuvenate her career? You get it—there is more to be told. Thanks for the interesting story so far.
And the funny thing about the narcissist trait is that they can't stand to be called out, played at their own game, nor ignored. All these three things contradict both their impulse to 'Feed' on others and to 'be better than everyone else'.
So not only did our main guy see through their bullshit very fast. About one week's worth of time. But they can no longer feed off him. He doesn't feel complete indifference yet, but it's close to that. When he leaves his wife, he'll barely kick up a fuss about it. She'll lose her mind over it, and I'm not sure how she'll treat her older surrogate couple after that. They'll try to feed off her drama, but it wont be as tasty. She may even cause such a ruckus that other swingers in their group may start to leave. Add to that the swinger wife wasn't pursued that heavily by our main protagonist. So she'll feel less desired and clever all at once. And since he traded up to a much better woman, the swinger husband will feel a sting too.
Living well is a good revenge. And it's especially rough when a narcissist is so completely ignored to achieve it. If a true narcissist ever cheats on you, casually ignoring them is a fate so awful for them....they would rather you beat them black and blue in a back alley without witnesses. That's how sick they are.
Way too incomplete. The man has to deal with his wife and the stingers. He`s been deliberately used and humiliated, and just finding a new woman is not nearly enough to balance the scales.
Mediocre. There should have been a confrontation with the cheating wife. Not satisfying.
I really enjoyed this story. The writing and the premise was well done. However, it felt like the ending hit the punchline and just stopped. You had me moving along with the characters and the conflict really hit the peak when the story ends.
Maybe the missing half is hard to imagine and work out in a realistic way but that’s what’s fun to read. I think if you had “finished the damn story” this could have been a much higher scoring story. Keep posting
It was a good story, but it felt unfinished.
What happened with the soon to be ex-wife? She wanted to cuckold him, but that involves staying married, so I expect she'd fight the divorce. What about some retribution on the sadistic swingers?
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The aftermath would've been great when he turns on them and really unleashes hell. The wife was selfish, deceitful, and arrogant, and seeing her humiliated as her cushy life was destroyed would've been very entertaining. The fact that her husband immediately traded up would've made her insane with jealousy and really twisted the knife.
Oh well, missed opportunity I guess.
Ok, that turned out a heck of a lot better than I thought it would, but it stopped too soon. Some payback is necessary for the story to have some semblance of closure. Still, I enjoyed it.
For the first 90% of this story my response was going to be, I’ve been in a bit of a drought in finding lw stories that really give the feels that make these stories addictive. This story had that, it was really well done and hitting home, and then you ended it like that. Got me all the way to the short strokes, and then just stopped. Please finish this story.
Strong first half, disappointing second because there is almost no plot other than the hackneyed LW "he finds a better woman". You need to think more about developing your plots. Keep writing. You could be a very good writer. 4
Oh, so much has been left undone. So many loose ends are blowing in the wind. Are you going to finish this or get angry at all of us Anon's for for giving you grief? No stars at present because this was only part one??? - TANSTAAFL
Well crafted story. Your main character was believable and you created lots of emotions. I do think the ending was a tad rushed. Still an easy five
Good story SB and off to an interesting start, but this definitely & i mean definitely needs another chapter. Dont leave us hanging. 5* so far.
Good story. A number of holes that should have been filled. but still a very readible piece. KI'm sure the BTB reader are chomping at the bit for a part 2.
This was a great story. Saying that, however, makes me write, this truly demands a follow up of events AFTER the Christmas snowstorm. Xander and Kacey truly need to have happiness return to the two of them. Perhaps Xander's wife ends up getting an STD from, of all people, Kacey's husband or some such type of event. Let there be a follow up and have some joy expressed in it for two truly wronged souls. Thanks
so where is the ending and what did he do to his slut wife and her bitch friend and the rest of the assholes
Good story.
It would be nice to read a second part to this story. The storm after the storm, when he sees his soon to be ex-wife again.
Thank you.
incomplete, we never got to learn the genesis of the wife's infidelity and deceptiveness. Typical LW trope of man finds gorgeous replacement immediately.
Feels like we only got a third of the story here. Is this an improperly titled chapter one?
This story certainly held my interest--you write well and the situation is compelling. But there's no plausible reason given why Xander did not confront his wife on the very first morning after the failed swap. I realize that you were after a different story, but this failure utterly destroys any sense of "suspension of disbelief". Unable to understand why he wouldn't have confronted her, we stop believing in the story as plausible.
the end of what? the first part of the story? are you afraid of the fictional people and don't want to write anymore? ran out of ideas? not good dude. finish this. will rate if you put up a part 2. if you don't I will come back and give it a one star
This story definitely deserves a follow up.
I did like what I read, and want more...
Lacking in closure and catharsis, but still a good read.
I'm not a revenge porn weirdo like some here, but I feel like total apathy and moving on and up is really the best kind of 'revenge' in a story like this.
I agree with Ohio's comment. You really missed a great chance here and it isn't too late, if you FTDS.
While well written and an enjoyable read, it left me up in the air. Hopefully you will correct this with a second chapter.
Can't even give you a score. ohio said everything I was going to say.
Unfinished stories always get a 1star rating.mand that's what I've given you.
Lit isn't letting me sign in.
CHUCK2468
NO CONCLUSION. WHERE'S THE CONFRONTATION WITH THE NASTY WIFE? SHE DESERVES TO HAVE HER ASS KICKED.
He should have called off the switch when the woman refused. Gone to the other house and fucked up some people while there, including his massively deceptive and unfaithful wife. Why did he temporize? D
Good start. It’s not finished though. This story has a pretty good inviting incident but needs a resolution.
Gave it a 4* but honestly, his lack of balls in confronting his wife didn't help the story. Nor did the abrupt ending without a finish between them. I really should have marked it lower.
I enjoyed the story but would really like to see a part 2. I gave you 5 stars
Looks like he better get rid of Leslie and marry a divorced Kacey. Then he should start their family. Give Leslie to Paul and the rest of those gangbangers...
A second part would be excellent, where he gets rid of Leslie and makes Kacey his real wife and mother of his children...
Thank you for this! You gave us a complete and full story. The rest is just rubbish.
Merry Christmas!
Why is it hard (in the minds of some Readers) to consider a man could quickly find another woman? While the female characters find it very easy to find someone else. There’s as many if not more women about that are single, divorced etc Many of whom are just as good or better than the narcissistic cheating female characters.
Enjoyed that but it does need finishing
The writing is top notch but the arc of the story is incomplete. To use an American football analogy, it feels like the story began in the second quarter and ended during the third. The background of the wife's involvement with the neighbors obviously took place in the missing first quarter, and the the resolution of the MC's journey would be told in the fourth. Play on, satyrsbard...it's a good game and we want to know who wins.
This story is unfinished, that ending was just a beginning so where’s the rest of the story. A real fairy tale.
Pretty accurate. The cheater leaves in her heart; love turns to hatred, and expresses itself as a will to dominate. The person cheated on realizes that he can be duped and played the fool, but not forever, and that the cheater has ultimately just sacrificed their own happiness out of a desire for power. But then, of course, his own love has left, and he needs something else to love so he can believe in life as good and redeeming. In my view, any "open relationship" is a prelude to the end.
Came up really short. Too cliched halfway through.
The moment you said swingers, it was clearly going to be a "she got some, I didn't" story, 99 percent of "swinger" stories go exactly that way.
Why write such a wimpy limp dick husband? Sadly he was so weak, no wonder why she fucked around. Sometimes an idiot deserves it.
I give it a 3 and thats being a bit generous.
Yeah, Les may be in the middle of extramarital adventures, but she is not the estrogen focus of this tale. LW is mainly about the effect of a wife’s adventurous behavior … and We-The-Readers have only been given hints of Hubby’s intentions of future consequences. This is much more like Erotic Coupling … hence comments of current incomplete status of this tale!
A bit of review reading by Satyrsbard of the story after a week or so following completion would probably have reduced a fairly wide range of careless errors!
3*. NO way Hubby recovers that soon after severe hypothermia! And the other couple are left in another guest-room.
Entertaining, but incomplete. Trade a couple of pages of fluff for a meaningful ending.
Many issues with this story because of lack of information in it. How does the MC know for sure his wife is in on the “bait and switch” for all we, readers, know she is being duped and thinks her husband is enjoying the extra marital sex they both agreed to. I know that’s not supposed to be the case, but prove it to us. And going from almost dying to a vigorous lover so quickly is absurd.
You need to finish this story or ending . A non ending. Did you have a part 2 you didn’t mention??
This was dumb. The plot was a joke and then meeting the love of his life after getting hypothermia? There’s no fuckibg way he would have been able to perform….he would have been unconscious for a day at least.
And then sharing his sad little story???
As if a woman wants to hear that.
You really have no fucking clue about people.
This is simply ridiculous, firstly he enters into a swap situation where both partners are isolated from each other, not a brilliant idea. Then when his prospective partner snubs him for sex and his wife presumably gets her itch scratched, he doesn’t even talk to her about it???
There is no discussion re the “swap” night during the following week.
This is so stupid on many levels.
I gave you a good score. The story stands alone but what happened? Why is he a wimp? Why didn’t he go check on his wife when the other wife welshed on the deal? Why hasn't he hired a detective? Had an STD check since his wife appears to have bee swinging for a while?
This story just has too many holes and no real ending. No confrontation, no definitive proof that his wife really disregarded him. Sure he could have been invited to go along with her, but he always said he was busy and avoided her. They agreed to an open relationship, but he never told her that Gabby snubbed him. Why didn't he say anything to her right from the start? A lot of fluff but not much in the way of real detail into their situation or with Les. Needs a lot of adjusting.
I normally don’t write any comments but I this time I have to. This story isn’t finished until there is a confrontation with the wife.
Enjoyed story but it needs to continue in order to please the masses. What happens next? Is the wife pissed or happy to move on? Finish the damn story.
Finish the story please. It's great so far but you left so much on the writing table.
Where's the rest of the story? There was no mention about it being Christmas Eve until his "morning after" - what's up with that??? Also, why wasn't he in coversation with his wife earlier when he told his boss about it? Just too many missed dots for me to connect with the tale. If there's a more detailed follow-on, I may go back and reasses, but for now 3*.
i enjoyed the story but i have to agree it is not finished yet i hope there is a part 2
I didn't hold out much hope after reading the 'Preface' which was more of a disclaimer since a Preface usually makes some story-setup.
The 'slow burn' starts in the 2nd paragraph with 'decided to open our marriage this morning'. What did they say, 'hey honey I'll have coffee and toast with butter and jelly and oh bby the way I think we should swap with Paul & Gabriel (not Gabrielle or Gabriella).' Igave it a 1
Drivel. There is some ridiculous plot about intent to humiliate but then there is no resolution, rather some perfunctory sex description with something that suppose to be a rebound?
No resolution of initial plot, nonsensical end.
By the way, a guy falls down through ice into icy water and later he is ready for some sex? Straight out of the most stupid movies. No health consequence from a thermal shock, right there ready for sex.
Herpes is the incurable gift that keeps on giving. Syphilis can be cured with a shot of penicillin. I agree that a confrontation with the wife is needed.
I am very pleased with this story please continue it. Haters are going to Hate
Urrgggh. Just finishing without confronting the wife is a cop out. Spoils what was a great story
Whatever you were trying to hit here, you missed badly. Better luck next time.
Unfinished but OK. Would like a part two to see the aftermath and the evil wife's disappointment that her husband moved on right away and she was stuck with the scumbag asshole neighbors. They will get bored with her since the fun of Cucking her husband was gone. He will live a better life and the (ex)wife will be forgotten.
It was going good for three pages. Then as others have commented, out of nowhere it is Christmas? Sudden unlikely romance and soulmate way too fast. No confrontation with his wife and no resolution or conclusion to his situation. Could have been good but no real end
definintely seemed unfinished. Can't have a happy ever after the way you left things. It's like you ran out of gas at the end.
I enjoyed the story. I felt it went really well. Enjoyed the stopping point. Though, I would kind of like to see more of a completion in a Part 2. Would really like to know how it goes on from there.
Thanks for writing.