Someone Else's Life

Do you ever feel like you're living in someone else's life?

I've felt so odd, lately. Every day I wake up to the strangest alarm, it's two wavering tones that come humming out of my sun lamp. They cross over one another until I get a heavy feeling in my skull. I feel the skin behind my neck go tense and my whole body breaks out in shivers; and yet, instead of feeling cold, I feel safe and warm.

Without thinking, I stand straight out of bed and feel myself gliding to the shower. I turn the water on ice cold-- I'm not sure why I started doing that-- and let it stream over my face, down my body until the muscles in my legs are nearly limp from adrenaline. Then, I step out like jelly onto the tile and lower myself to the floor.

My husband always walks in just after I've knelt. He grabs my chest and I see him staring at my swollen nipples. He says he likes how pink they get when I'm cold, every time. He lays a blanket over my shoulders and takes his cock out, every time. And I get this ecstatic feeling as my lips make contact with his skin.

Every time!

You know, I used to be so different that it feels silly to bring it up. I'm nothing like I was; I think about my husband twenty-four seven. I feel my mouth fill with saliva every time he comes around.

When I'm kneeling in the morning and his cockhead slips past the back of my tongue, an orgasmic pulse makes me cry out and whimper. It comes over me without any buildup, like he's hitting a button. I start suckling down his shaft to inch him deeper down my neck and every inch further starts my whole body off like new again, shivering and convulsing. He'll pump into me, stretching out my neck at his own leisure-- and the slower he gets, the more my euphoria builds until tears are streaming down my face and dripping down my body. My lips suckle at the base of his shaft and if I slip my tongue out between his cock and my bottom lip, I can slurp at his balls while he plays in my throat!

He says he likes the glug, glug, glug as my throat opens up. I like it, too!

But then there's a dark feeling that starts floating around my mind. I can tell that something's off and then, as quickly as the notion arrives, it's gone. He'll thrust himself into me and I shiver again. I get so excited I have to giggle! He'll let me suckle him and choke for as long as I want, until the orgasms stack and I'm woozy.

But somehow that moment always ends. He scoops me up and takes me to the couch to lay me down and, as I'm resting, he'll put headphones in my ears and walk away. Those tones will play and rush all through my body. I lose the time, every time.

Hours are like minutes-- or are minutes like hours? And that peculiar notion will bubble up again-- this isn't my life.

And as soon as I think that dark, horrible thought, I'll hear him stepping into the room. He'll take my headphones out and say something like, "Stay or work out." And then he'll leave the house and I'll sit there. Sometimes I sit there the whole time, just thinking, "Stay. Stay. Stay." I get drool on myself, but it doesn't bother me. I'm never wearing any clothes to stain.

Other times, I'll stand up and set music on the stereo. I'll work out and stretch and dance for hours until I'm completely exhausted, and then I'll sit back down and think, "Stay. Stay. Stay."

The thought will come back as I'm sitting there. Sometimes it's such a horrifying feeling that I can't help but cry. Sometimes, he comes home and finds me like that, panicking and sobbing on the couch. But I always remember to stay! He says he doesn't like it when I cry in place like that, but I can't bring myself to move when I'm following directions.

It's not so bad; I feel better when he fucks me. He'll let me stand up and stretch and I'll feel his hands gripping my thighs. He inspects my tone and plans my next workout, it's really sweet. Then, he'll say, "Bend over," without much eye contact and it makes me want to show myself to him and earn his attention.

Then again, he's always saying, "Earn my attention." Sometimes we have talks where he says things like that and has me repeat them back to him. I like spending that quality time with him.

As I'm bent over on the living room floor and my pussylips are quivering, he presses at my slit and I get overwhelmed. When my hole is spreading open, the room swells up like a fisheye lens, I get a feeling like helium in my joints and start cumming as he pushes into me. He'll smack my butt and say, "Jiggle your thighs!" I get giddy waiting for him to say it. I jiggle my body up and down and hump him like a good girl until he says, "Good girl."

And just like that, I'll forget about the terror and all of the crying. He humps me 'til he's bored, which can take a few hours. He brings me water because I get distracted during the day. Sometimes, he'll watch a show or call a friend while I hump him, but he doesn't usually talk to me. Then again, I get so overwhelmed by the stretchy feeling, trying to press the ring of my cervix around his cockhead, I don't think that I'd have much to say.

It's evening by then, so I'll cook him dinner. My mouth always waters when I cook because I know that while he eats it, I'll get to suck him off. I bring him his plate at the couch and he lays his balls on my tongue. The sound of his fork on the plate is soothing, now; it reminds me of how nice it'll feel when he gushes into me. His sperm is better than water, I swear! I smack my lips and roll on my back while I eat it, and I'll hear him say something like, "Little pretzel."

And as the words leave his mouth, I'll be pulling my legs behind my head and smacking on gobs of semen while my pussy points up in the air. Sometimes he'll eat me like that, sucking on my mound until my muscles contract-- he likes it best when I cum with my legs back; he says my pussymound quivers in time with my thighs.

He fucks me hard in the evenings, pulls me onto his dick and watches my legs shiver. He'll suck my nipples while I'm folded in half and I'll scream in little giggles from the euphoria!

Sometimes, I get that dark spike of anxiety again, I realize that something's terribly wrong, and I try to hold onto the feeling, desperate to know what it is, but as he sucks my titties in and out, I feel the notion fade. I get so sad when it goes away, like I just know that it's from some deeper part of me. But then my giggles will drown it out, and the pleasure will grow until I'm rolling around on the floor again.

When he swells inside me and pumps me full of cum, I look up at his face and feel like my life is a perfect dream. He's so handsome I could cry. He cums and cums until the load leaks out around his shaft and I nearly gasp in excitement as I scoop up little ropes and smack my lips around my fingers! God, it tastes super good!

And then he just gets up and walks away without a word-- he gets tired, or he'll remember that he has some work to do. He'll say, "Get ready for bed," and I'll take a nice, warm shower, then I'll climb into the foot of the bed and curl up, waiting.

When I suckle him in bed at night, he doesn't look at me much, but it feels good to see him drift off to sleep. He pets my head until he's too drowsy, and then his head falls to the side-- and I'm alone again. The feeling with come back while I lay there, it's wild and scary, and I'll suck him like that for hours, panicking. Gosh, I get lost in a loop, because suckling him calms me down and yet... I can't help but feel as if something is off.

Do you ever feel like you're living in someone else's life?