Something We Have to Talk About Ch. 02

At home, he noted there were no messages on the phone. The light was not blinking. He was both relieved and concerned. He called his in laws and inquired about his children. His mother in law answered cheerfully and thanked them for letting the children stay their last weekend before schools started. She asked how Susan was. Jonathan only said that they were having a very special weekend and that both of them had been away from home. He told them nothing as he had been advised.

Jonathan stretched and looked at his floppy 40 pounds of beer blubber. He changed shoes and headed out for a brisk walk in the warm late summer evening. Walking briskly he soon became short winded. Surely he was not this far out of shape. His body was hard as steel but his endurance was seriously impaired. He vowed to correct that by exercise and staying off beer and chips and the couch at night.

Arriving back at home he noted the phone light was blinking. Taking the call, it was Susan. She said she would not be home for a while, not stating how long. She made no mention of the children or even about him. The message was short, terse and to the point. He sucked in a great breath and wandered around the empty house, looking for release without tearing up everything.

He remembered to call George. He had forgotten to do that earlier. He hoped George was available. On the third ring George answered his cell phone. They arranged to meet that evening at Jonathans house. Jonathan called his mom. She was well. He told her of visiting the bank and the lawyers. He told her he had gotten everything done at the bank but would have to sign more papers the first of the week but the accounts were closed and his money was safe in accounts with only his name on them. She congratulated him and asked him to search his house and Susan's things for anything of a financial nature like unknown credit cards or lines of credit, especially any previously unknown lines of credit on his house. Jonathan never knew such was even possible but he would search anyway. Jonathan then called his grandad thanking him for getting in touch with George who was to arrive shortly. He heard his grandad chuckle his signature chuckle and told him to take George's advice on everything and to let George do all the leg work. He again reminded Jonathan to stay calm. Grandad said he had had a full day also and surprisingly had seen Jonathan's truck both at the lawyers office and the bank. Granddad hung up before Jonathan could ask him why the both of them were at the lawyers and the bank

The door bell rang and rang again as Jonathan hurried to the front door. There stood a late middle age small wiry graying man, not over 5 foot 4 and hardly a 125 pounds. Dressed casually but neatly, he introduced himself as George Town, the private investigator. George showed his identification with out being asked.

He was invited in. There being no coffee and no beer, Jonathan apologized and offered water. They both had a large glass of cold water with ice from the filtered refrigerator water. George asked for a walk around of the house and property. Jonathan showed him everything from garbage cans to ceiling door to the attic. George took notes and drew little pictures. Outside was a repeat, Jonathan wondered why he would want such a thorough inspection but complied willingly with out questions. Jonathan enjoyed George's slight but definite English accent.

When the tours was complete they sat at the dining room table. Jonathan answered as many questions as he could. No, he didn't know who the bastard was. Allegedly he was a lawyer whose wife had been killed several years ago in an auto accident. George's eyes brightened and a smile crept to his lips, this followed by a scowl.

George commented, "I think I know this person of interest."

The accident was well known to the law enforcement community but foul play had never been proved yet was suspected. The young lawyer had received an eight figure amount of insurance money. This naturally got the attention of the insurance company. George had been lead investigator for the insurance company but could not prove murder but there were enough signs to raise all sorts of red flags. Ultimately the claim was paid but the insurance company was not happy.

"Jonathan", George continued, "you don't need to tell me anything else about this man. Tell me if has ever been into your house or on the premises."

"To my knowledge he has not been here but I have been off at work all day every day and Susan is fucking him and spending days and now nights with him so who knows. Susan says he hasn't been here but I can't believe anything she says anymore". Jonathan breathed the last words out with slowly and with sorrow as he knew his trusted wife was no longer his exclusive wife and certainly no longer his trusted wife. He felt the emptiness of the abyss at his loss.

George, being a trained observer commented "I see your great loss, Jonathan. I can do nothing to help you with that but I feel for and with you. Please consider me a new friend. I am going to bug your house with the latest of electronic hardware and software. It will be very inconspicuous. I will give you a bug to wear which you can turn on and off. I want every conversation between you and Susan recorded. Even in your bedroom if you decide to share it with her again. I will do the monitoring and collecting of the data. Don't worry. I'm very good at what I do. Nothing recorded will be shared with anyone except you. If you tell me to share it with Sherrie, then you must sign off on that at a future time. I am going to get you to sign authorization to place the bugs and I want a key to your house. I will sign for it. I have all the necessary papers to make everything legal, although not necessarily admissible in court. Sherrie will advise you on that but what goes on in your house is your business and you have a right to know, legally."

With that, George went out to his car a returned with a box full of electronics. He put two way voice monitors on the phones, and sound in every room in the house including the bathrooms. There were sound and optical monitors at the front door, back door, halls, and both bedrooms. He showed Jonathan how to turn them off but advised him to leave them on as forgetting to rearm them might end up with the loss of important data.

Shaking hands George left with an additional bit of advice. "Let me handle the gathering of evidence and information. I promise you my full time effort until we have everything that is needed. I will keep both you and Sherrie fully and timely informed. If I need for you to do anything I will let you know. Otherwise, please don't take any action. Please don't get in the way and screw this up. You have a very good team organized to help you. You are not alone. I know Susan is not here and that is your life. Things appear to be at there very worse as it seems now but it can get much worse, believe me and you don't want to be part of making that happen. I'll be in touch and you have my numbers. Good night for now."

With that George was gone, as if disappearing into the now darkness of a warm late summer evening. Jonathan heard the Cicadas before going inside again. He searched the fridge for food, finally settling for two bowls of children's cereal.

The house was quiet. The familiar sounds of the children fighting and playing and of Susan humming as she cleaned the kitchen. He missed helping get the children off to bed. Their hugs and kisses on his cheeks seemed a thousand years in the past. He moved into his bedroom. The familiar night lights were on. But no Susan brushing her teeth and chattering about the nothing of particular interest to him. There were no inviting arms in his bed attached to the woman he loved more than life. She was not his. She had not been his for a year but he just hadn't known it until yesterday. He wondered how it could get worse. If she died he could get over it eventually. Right now she was a living nightmare from which there seemed no escape. How could she think he didn't love her. How could she think that I would love her enough to let here be happy in the arms of another man. Who did she think I really was. Had I come across all these years as a wimp. What had changed her? Was it all my fault? How could she live two separate lives? How could she love two men? How could she give all of herself to two different people? Why was she so secret in all this? Was she really mentally ill? He had never heard of such craziness. Was she doing drugs? Did drugs do this kind of thing to a person? He had heard some drugs made people go mad, but that kind of madness was madness all the time. No something else was happening and he could not figure it out. The myriad of other question flooded his mind.

Jonathan tried to sleep. He kept waking up hoping this terrible nightmare would somehow disappear as the wings of dawn took flight and the first light of dawn appeared. He struggled and toss and turned. He was awake by 6 am yet tired. Surely this was not his reality. He swung his feet to the floor and lumbered to the bathroom. There he went through his early am routine and soon was shitted, shaved, showered and dressed. There was no smell of fresh coffee and no children running around trying to get dressed and finding their clothes still in the dryer.

basket. He was empty, angry, hurt, despondent yet determined to make the best of another lousy day. After a cup of coffee and another bowl of sugar coated minimonsters, he headed for an early am walk. Not much traffic on an early Saturday morning. He walked hard but did a little better than yesterday. As he approached his house, he heard the phone ringing. He ran the last ten yards, pushing the front door open he ran to the telephone. He was just in time. Out of breath he answered.

"Hi honey. It's me, Susan" Her voice seemed perfectly normal. "I'm coming home for a while this evening. Hope you will be there. We need to talk some more and make our life together happy again. I'll be home about seven but wont stay overnight. I just want to talk with you some more so you will understand me better and we can get on with our lives together. Bye honey, see you tonight". She hung up before he could say anything.

He was frustrated. She had no concern for his feelings. Life was all about her happiness regardless of others. He wondered, had it always been that way. Had he misread her all these years. Was her happiness the most important thing in her life. He began to look back as he took another cup of hot black mind awakener. Had she dated and married him because it made her feel good. Was love really a one way street for her? Did her having children bring her happiness. Did he forget her needs which forced her to seek happiness in the arms of another man. Was refusing to go to those silly parties really a terrible thing to her? Did she really need more love than he and the children could provide? She was always strong willed and she usually got her way. Had he set her up for this disastrous behavior? He just couldn't accept all the blame. It was obvious she blamed him but she also was attracted to another man that she got something from that I wasn't' giving her. He couldn't remember her asking me for more except for the parties I he wouldn't go to with her. She had everything here. Beautiful house, three precious children, supporting parents and in-laws and a husband who worked hard to provide for her every physical comfort. Even she seemed to enjoy sex with him. Our sex was always good and we cuddled after ward and talked. It seemed to me our lines of communication were open, even if not perfect. Just what was going on?

The phone rang, it was mom checking in on him. Yes mom I had something to eat. Yes mom I had my morning constitution and a brisk walk. I smiled, strange now that I thought of it but Susan never asked those kind of questions of me. I called Grandad again and he was his usual self. He asked if I was ok and I told him yes. George and I had a good talk as did Sherrie and I and then Mom and me this morning. No, I wasn't doing well but at least it was day time again. The nights were worse.

Chapter Five

Granddad sighed, "Jonathan, when your dad died a piece of me died with him. He was my only son." He hesitated then continued "then your grandmother died and another big piece of my life died . It's always the quiet lonely nights that get to us. Just hang in, son, God is faithful. You have to believe that or all is lost" We chatted a moment longer and hung up.

Jonathan went for another long walk. Hi stamina was slightly better or at least he thought so.

The day went slowly, yet rapidly. There was lots to do around the house. It was Susan's things he had to do. Grocery shop, wash clothes and dishes, change the sheets. It seemed an endless number of things to do. He missed lunch. He didn't care. Then there was my stuff to do outside. The lawn continued to grow without regard to my condition. The sun gradually feel toward the horizon. The Circadia cranked up as the shadows lengthened. He washed and put on some clean clothes to wait for Susan's expected appearance.

She was right on time. She always was. Without ringing the door bell she popped inside and went straight to the kitchen to fix coffee. She had yet to acknowledge me other than a quick "hi". Jonathan closed the door.

He volunteered "Hi Susan, I'm glad your home".

From the kitchen she looked at him , smiled and said "I hope it will turn out to good to be home". She turned to wait on the black brew to bubble to life.

He sat at the table awaiting her. She came in with a cup of coffee for herself only. I got up and poured myself a cup and came back to the table. He thought, I don't exist anymore in her mind. No greeting, no offer of coffee just wasn't like her.

Jonathan began "Susan, I hope you know I love you very much. You can be very helpful to me now that sometime has passed and I'm under better control, to tell me again what you told me night before last. I want to hear it again so I can try to understand exactly what you said. I promise not to interrupt. Please try to tell me again." He knew the recorder was on and recording every word. Susan had no idea she was going on record.

Susan, took a sip of the black brew and said " OK here we go again. I can't remember exactly everything I said but most of it will come back."

Susan actually almost verbatim repeated the terrible things Jonathan heard the first time. It wasn't much easier listening the second time but he knew it was being recorded. He clenched his fists again and again as he gritted his teeth and controlled his outbursts. His body language tattled on his emotions. When she had finished she smiled cautiously saying "Congratulations Jonathan, you did much better. I feel you will come to understand my point of view so we can get o with our lives again".

"Susan I want you to understand where I'm coming from. In fact where I have always stood on this thing we call marriage. I believe infidelity is infidelity by what ever name you call it. The worst part is not the sex , which is bad enough, the worst part is your giving your love to another man. Susan, please give this up of your own free will and come back to your husband and family. Please put an end to your secret life. Please stop hiding from me. Please Susan, please. Your divided life has to end. It doesn't have to end in tragedy but that is where we are heading if you continue. You have two lives that are not compatible with the other. The disaster is coming and is almost here. Hiding one life from the other is not only impossible it is not the answer. Can you not see that your two lives are like the two poles of a battery. If they connect, the battery is ruined. Your two lives are fast approaching their end. You must give up one to save the other. You have a loving husband and loving children in one life. The other is your big secret life filled with fantasy and disaster. There is no ultimate reality in that life. You may be enjoying it now but it will consume you if you keep on this path to destruction. Already it is killing me, your husband. Soon it will destroy your marriage. Who knows but it may destroy your relationship with your parents. Then comes the loss of your children . At that point, your secret fantasy life will have destroyed you to. Please, Susan, come back to the safety of your home and family and husband. I will do everything I can to help you. Already I have sworn off alcohol and started to exercise. I will give you more attention than your lover and I, both of us have combined." Jonathan pleaded with her as she got up from the table as if to leave. His anger flared. He could feel it.

"Dammit Susan, get your act together. Will you comeback to me or not. You cannot have him and me. I wont permit it. I will find that son of a bitch and will probably go to jail for what I do to him and if your there you better run or get caught in the maelstrom." I tried to control my rising anger. My language was becoming ominous and degrading again. I had promised everyone that I would be civil. I drew a big breath, I rippled my huge muscles in my arms and chest, making my shirt jump and tremble. "Susan, you are not the only one with legal counsel. I consulted a lawyer yesterday. Do you have a lawyer to assist and defend your rights."

"YES" she answered in anger.

"Who is he? Does he have a name?"

"He is my lover, and no I won't tell you his name"

"Does he consider you his client"

"Yes, he told me that I should not have to worry about any legal advice or fees or such as he would help me if and when I should ever need it. He wants you to love me so that he and I can continue and so that you and I can continue as we have this past six months. You didn't know of our relationship and it didn't bother you a bit. Suddenly, now that I told you, you are all out of sorts and angry. Truth should increase love, not destroy it.

I blurted out. "You will not have it both ways, Susan. It wont happen. My lawyer is drawing up divorce papers for me and they will be ready for you soon. I know I have rights to. They are called marriage rights and I will not be cuckolded. Susan, please come back to me. If not tonight at least by Monday."

She rose to leave, "I'm leaving tonight Jonathan, I can't promise to return ever. If we split because you refuse to love me, then you have to leave this house because the children need their mom and the house".

"Susan, who is going to pay the mortgage and utilities. If you keep up this silliness and craziness, I'll just quit my job. You will lose the house to forfeiture and where will you be then? Think about it Susan, you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink. You can push me out but you cant squeeze blood out of a turnip and I might just turn into a Mr. Turnip. Talk to your lawyer lover. Your options are limited to. Ask him to marry you and see what he tells you? Lets see how big is his love for you. I committed my life to you. Lets see if he will commit his life to you. Ask him Susan,"

I was yelling. If she wanted him so bad, then by dam lets see if he will have an adultress wife for his own wife.

I stood up, glaring at her. "Go screw him tonight and while he's pumping his jizm into you, ask him to marry you. Tell him the truth, I'll let you go and you will have your new life full time with him. You wont have your life with me in a secret box anymore, stored away for an old lady's dream. No, Susan, check out your options. See if you and me are history already."

I collapsed onto the couch, as she stood tall and straight. "forgive me Susan, my anger , my anger is killing me. Please go without my blessing and please come back to me full time soon. Be sure to ask him if he will marry you. You need a real man in your life and a real father for your children. Maybe he is the better man for you and them. Please find out and let me know. Goodnight my love"