Somewhere East of Eden

Hence, the whole world was laughing at us while I was playing Lancelot to Eve's Guinevere. Seeing how utterly ignorant I'd been, absolutely mortified me. A man's self-concept is founded on the respect of others. I'd spent my life earning my position around town. Then I threw it away for three months of strange pussy.

When the torture finally ended, I was sitting with my head in my hands unable to look at Ariel. She said kindly, "Take your time. It's normal to a react like that when you ultimately understand the truth. People build elaborate fantasies to justify the things they do, it's a defense mechanism. That's why, the reality is so painful when they're torn down."

I stared at her confused and she added, "Think about it... it hurts to be seen as weak-willed and corrupt, which is precisely what you are if you cheat. So, ordinary people create extravagant romantic illusions to rationalize their actions. That was what you did here."

Ariel added sympathetically, "Now that we've swept those illusions away you can learn to be smarter and more honest about what you're actually doing. That's an insight that we'll reinforce over the next couple of days. In the meantime we are finished with today's lesson. Please enjoy the many fine amenities of our resort."

Don Quixote was defeated by a guy who used a mirror to show him what a pathetic creature he actually was. Thanks to the Hall of Truth, I understood that Eve and I were just two flawed human beings not tragically doomed lovers. I suppose I had to understand that if I wanted to move on. But it didn't hurt any less.

I was so shaken by finding out what a dork I was that the only amenity I wanted was a drink. Hence, I was holding a double old-fashioned glass filled with twenty-one-year-old El Dorado XO sipping rum as I wandered out onto the deck of the resort's Olympic size pool.

I had to admit that life in purgatory wasn't what I'd expected. In fact, it was as close to paradise as you could get -- if you ignored the soul crushing insights that they kept dropping on you. Still, I was beginning to crawl my way out of the pit of despair.

The sound of happy people splashing in the crystal-clear pool combined with hot sun and the chlorine smell uplifted me. I'm a pragmatist by nature and I understood that the past was the past. I had to find a new way forward. That was when I spotted Eve.

Eve was playing volleyball with the yuppie swine from last night. I wondered which one she'd fucked. She was gorgeous in her barely-there bikini. Her remarkable body just as full and nubile as ever. Then again, certain species of venomous reptiles are also brilliantly colored. Eve's behavior told me that she'd learned nothing from her visit to the Hall of Truth. How could I have been so naive!!!

I was sitting head down in a poolside Adirondack chair, contemplating the error of my ways when a hesitant voice said, "I'm sorry Mister." I opened my eyes, and a small pair of feet were situated directly in front of me. I looked up and it was the crazy lady from last night. I was so startled that I almost tossed my drink up in the air.

I wasn't convinced that the woman wouldn't go all Jerry Springer on me. But she looked apologetic. I said warily, "No worries, Gabriel healed my broken nose. Those people have a magic touch."

She added miserably, "I was so frightened." Now that was a statement I could sympathize with. I said kindly, "Me too."

She was still standing there looking awkward, like she wanted to talk some more. I gestured to a chair and said, "Do you want to sit and talk about it?"

Her eyes turned hard, and she said, "I'm still not gonna fuck you!!" Where did THAT come from!!

I laughed and said sarcastically, "Don't flatter yourself." She looked hurt.

I added, "I was just curious. Why are you so sad when everybody else around here is acting like they're rolling on Ecstasy?" My nutty new acquaintance seemed to be dialing down her defenses as she said desolately, "You'd never understand."

I said, "Try me."

She looked around at the revelry in the pool. Eve's tits were threatening to beat her to death as she jumped to spike the ball. The laws of momentum apply to large unrestrained objects even in purgatory. My peculiar little friend said, "Not here, I can't stand to be around so many happy people."

Hmmm, both hostile, AND drippy. I said to myself, "Do you really want to leave the safety of the herd to look at the monkeys in this crazy little bitches circus?" But then again, I was dedicated to building a less selfish me and maybe this would be a good first step. Thus, I stood up and said, "Lead on..."

We walked toward the beach. She stopped when we reached the sand and sat down on a bench that was built around the trunk of a palm tree. The shade was cool, and the onshore breeze was refreshing.

I had been studying her as she walked. She was a complete anomaly - especially in comparison to Eve and her asshole friends, tiny, slender, and dressed like she'd arrived on the back of somebody's Harley.

Tropical-chic was the style here in purgatory. It was a cross between the elegance of the Riviera and hot nights on the Playa del Carmen. I'd changed into a Guayabera over khaki bush shorts. She was wearing a cheap white cotton t-shirt that was a couple of sizes too big and a pair of cut offs that weren't quite Daisy Dukes.

Her clothes were wrinkled and smudged. They had seen a lot of wear and tear and they also were the only garments I'd ever seen her in. The legs sticking out of her shorts were pale white and ended in pink flip-flops. I had to admit that she had well-muscled and shapely thighs. I wondered if there was an attractive woman lurking underneath the trailer-park spitfire.

In truth, I really hadn't looked at her "that way" before. When I did, I realized that she was a pretty little thing. Her round face, with its high cheekbones, was perfectly proportioned. Her cobalt blue eyes were huge, and her nose was pert. She had a wide almost lascivious mouth and perfectly sculptured lips.

Her dishwater blond hair was pulled back into a long biker ponytail. It featured a distinct widow's peak and it hung down almost to her round ass. In fact, she might be considered remarkable if it weren't for

Her air of cynical, brooding hostility. This woman had clearly experienced a world of pain.

We sat there for an uncomfortably long period while she seemed to be searching my face. It was like she was trying to decipher something. She finally said nervously, clearly just trying to make conversation, "So why are you here?"

Seriously!!?? Really!!?? God that was awkward.

Given the circumstances, I couldn't imagine how anybody could ask something that ludicrous. But it was obvious that the poor little thing had no social skills whatsoever.

I looked at her unbelieving and said, "I'm here because I'm a terrible human being. I willingly cheated on my spouse and I sacrificed my honor and self-respect in doing so. Nobody has a right to hurt another person like I did. That's true whether or not you're caught. I'm hoping to redeem myself. But I have a long way to go."

She said earnestly, "But didn't you have a good reason for it, an excuse?"

I said emphatically, "You are either faithful, or you aren't. It's a binary condition. Like, you can't be partially pregnant. So, mea-culpa... I'm a cheat."

She looked at me like she wanted me to make a judgement about her and said, "Do the same rules apply if the person you cheated on was a freak?"

Now THAT was an interesting question. She was asking me if I believed there was a celestial scale where the sin of infidelity could be weighed in the balance against extenuating circumstances.

I just wasn't smart enough to answer that. So, I said, "I suppose there are mitigating factors. What would yours be?"

Her expression, which had been somewhat friendly up to that point, went icy. She muttered, "You're an asshole," and turned her back on me. It looked like she was about to flee when Gabriel just materialized right next to us. It was startling. I had no idea where he'd come from.

He gave us his best rug merchant's smile and said jovially, "Both of you together, how convenient, we are having a formal party tonight and I was hoping you would attend as a couple." He could see that we BOTH were about to loudly object. So, he added, "It would make me very happy if you did."

His tone said that you didn't EVER want to make him very UN-happy. But that didn't stop my little smarty-pants from getting Walmart with him. She said angrily, "I'm not going anywhere with this loser!! I don't fuck people just because you tell me I have to. I don't care how all-mighty you think you are."

Then she muttered under her breath, "Men are pigs!!"

Now that was instructive. You learn a lot about a person by the way they interpret somebody else's statements. Gabriel was clearly not angling to get me laid. That would be like trying to cure an alcoholic by taking him out for a drink. No... Gabriel was up to something. But his aims weren't apparent to me.

Still, it was clear that my little biker sweety took his request as an overt attempt to pimp her out. Which made me wonder what had happened to knock her perceptions so out of kilter.

Gabriel said in a kindly and soothing tone of voice, "We've talked about this Adah." So, that was her name. He continued with, "And you know that, if you want to evolve you have to learn to trust people. Tonight's event will be ultra sophisticated, and I know that you are comfortable in those surroundings."

She said, Yeah, so what??!! It doesn't change the fact that all men are pigs!"

Again, that was an interesting snapshot of her mental landscape. Mindless generalizations like that are a clear sign that a person's thinking is influenced by a dark star lurking somewhere in their psychological firmament.

And what was it with Gabriel's comment about sophisticated? My little biker mama gave off vibes like she'd be more comfortable at the Full Throttle Saloon in Sturgis than a debutant cotillion.

Gabriel stared meaningfully at me and said, "Are you willing to escort this young lady to the gala?"

I said, "What about Eve, won't she expect me to take her?"

Gabriel chuckled and said, "I believe she's found another Prince Charming. You know who she really is, now - right? She's been telling her new friends that you're a -- ahem -- I believe she used the term 'limp-dick loser'."

Gabriel's comment really hurt. I had sacrificed my honor and reputation for that woman, and she'd turned out to be nothing more than a shameless party whore. Even my little truck-stop mama knew that our time up here was a test.

The blast of utter disgust at my stupidity was like a swift kick to the nuts. But Gabriel was giving me a meaningful stare. I got it. Refusing him wasn't an option. I turned toward my weird little friend, gave her a corny bow, and said, "I would be honored to take you to the ball Cinderella."

The bow was my feeble attempt to cover up the tears that were shining in my eyes. Unfortunately, Adah saw them. She looked astonished, and then puzzled. She glanced quickly at Gabriel. He was giving her an encouraging look.

Then she got, what was for her, a sympathetic expression and said, "Okay, I'll go to the ball with this loser. But I'm out of there the first time he tries to put any moves on me." My-my, how gracious.

*****

I took a nap. Then, I dressed like Bond... James Bond... Of course there was a full set of evening dress laid out on the bed. I don't get to wear a tux very often, but I love the image.

Adah was in a different wing. They clearly sorted the guests based on their sins and Adah's were not conventional. I wondered about her weird sense of values as I walked over. Her view that her pussy was the only thing that made her worthwhile was troubling. Somebody had really fucked her up.

I was called an asshole the last time I probed into her past, and she broke my nose the first time. So I was about as eager to broach the topic again as an EOD tech would be approaching a roadside bomb. But I wanted this tiny little woman to understand that all men weren't -- how did she so eloquently put it? -- pigs. Still, it was plain that there were misty regions in Adah's psyche where monsters lurked.

Adah's door had a camera/doorbell arrangement that was a lot more impressive than my simple door knocker. I pushed the button and a wary voice said, "Who is it."

I said lightly, "It's Prince Charming, I'm here with your coach and four Milady." The camera swiveled and then I heard the sound of a heavy door bolt unlatching. The voice in the speaker said, "Back away!"

I got it. She didn't trust me enough to let me near her open door. I gave the camera another corny bow and said, "At your service Milady." The door slowly opened, and she stepped warily into the hall. She seemed terrified.

I was gobsmacked! My little biker chick looked like she'd just stepped off the cover of Vogue. The dirty t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops had been replaced by a sleek figure-hugging LBD that was accented by black pearl earrings and an elegant strand of matching pearls along with four-inch heels. It was an uncanny transformation. She was style personified.

Her dishwater blond hair was actually honey blond once she'd washed the dirt and oil out of it. And it cascaded down her back to her round shapely butt in full smooth glorious waves. Her makeup was refined, and it showcased the deepest and most intense pair of bright blue eyes imaginable. She belonged on the cover of Sports Illustrated, not a wanted poster.

I stared at her flabbergasted. She said, "I'm calling this off if you don't stop gawping at me - and Gabriel can just go fuck himself." Yet, her tone of voice was more pleased than angry,

I shook my head like a dog drying itself and said awestruck, "Why you're beautiful!!"

She said angrily, "That's it!! And turned toward her door."

I said, "Wait!! I'm sorry. You surprised me. I had no idea you were so gorgeous."

She looked mildly complimented and said, "If you as much as think about hitting this" -- and she gestured down the length of her curvy little body -- "I'm going to kick you in the balls.

I said meekly, "Yes Milady. Now, can we go." She looked almost pleased as she strode down the hall and pressed the elevator button. We rode to the ground floor standing in opposite sides of the car not talking. I wouldn't have expected otherwise. But she walked in next to me as we entered the ballroom.

The gala was one of those glitzy events that high-end resorts put-on to make the guests feel special. It increases the snobbishness factor those types of resorts thrive on. It also lets the denizens meet-and-greet. The idea is to establish the false impression that we are a bunch of happy neighbors living in the same luxurious community.

The men were all in evening dress and the women were a panoply of colorful evening gowns designed to showcase their assets. Adah's ensemble was among the most modest and classy, even though her little scoop front showcased a surprising amount of cleavage along with round hips and fantastic long legs. Who'd have guessed it? She'd looked almost prepubescent in her two sizes too big t-shirt.

Whether it was fate or Gabriel had arranged it, we immediately ran into Eve and her friends. Some tall yuppie puke had his hand on Eve's ass as they were yukking it up by the door. Eve was in a backless, almost frontless something in red that left nothing to the imagination. I had to admit that she had a body to die for.

She noticed us almost immediately and said something to the other members of her pack. Then she got a look of amused scorn and sauntered over radiating sex. She stopped in front of me and said condescendingly, "So, you're not a total stick in the mud after all. But you'll never get any more of this. I've traded up."

With that, Eve actually cupped one of her big boobs. Really??!! Seriously??!! That was a study in good taste. Her gang of new friends launched into loud derisive laughter. Apparently, my ex had been billing herself as a woman scorned and she needed visible payback.

That's when I heard a voice at my shoulder say heatedly, "Show some respect bitch, or you and I are going to get down to it right here and now."

Eve finally glanced at my companion. She seemed astonished see such a stunning creature. Hell, I was mystified myself. But more relevantly, it was obvious that Eve was playing with fire.

Adah might be a goddess in her LBD and pearls. But she was also clearly a ferocious little critter. She'd already maimed me. It now appeared, from the cage fighter glint in Adah's eye, that she wanted to get the hat trick by kicking Eve's shapely ass.

Adah was absolutely oozing feisty little bar skag and Eve would have been smart to back off. But she hadn't grown up in the U.S. and so she had no concept of the-- shall we say -- more "visceral" propensities of the Great American Underclass.

Consequently, Eve doubled down!! She said in a mocking tone, "Who's this cheap little slut? Are you fucking HER skanky ass now?"

Adah proclaimed almost gleefully, "That's it cunt!! We're doing it!!" And she dumped her entire glass of wine into Eve's extensive cleavage.

Time slowed as several things happened at once. Adah grabbed two handfuls of Eve's hair. Eve shrieked. Her Prince Charming headed our way with fire in his eye and I began to clear the decks for action. Then Gabriel just materialized in the middle of our rapidly-developing riot. How does he do that?

Gabriel said in a voice that brooked no disagreement, "Everybody stop right there!!" We all froze except Eve's new boyfriend. He took another step and then ran into a wall - in the form of the biggest dude I'd ever laid eyes on. His name was Remiel, which roughly translates to "Thunder of God."

Gabriel said archly, "Remiel! Take that man over there and reason with him. Then he turned to Adah and said, "You need to leave."

She said heatedly, "Fine!! I didn't want to be here anyhow." It almost looked like she was dismayed at being kicked out.

I said to Gabriel, "Mind if I go with her?" He said approvingly, "I was hoping you'd say that."

I caught up with Adah as she was running into the extensive formal gardens at the back of the resort. It was evening and the crickets and frogs were starting their nightly chorus. She stopped in one of those fanciful hedge alcoves and sat down on a bench. Was she crying?

I stood in front of her and said gently, "Can I sit?" She nodded not looking up.

I sat, ensuring a safe distance between us, and said, "Thank you."

Adah turned her perfect little face toward me, tears in her eyes, and said miserably, "Why can't I ever do anything right?"

I said, "You were exactly correct back there. Eve disrespected me, and you called her out. Nobody has ever stood up for me like that before."

Adah said, "She's your lover -- you both died together. Why was she acting like that?"

I said, "I didn't see it when we were overs. But Eve doesn't respect anybody. She's a sociopath. It's a form of narcissistic psychosis. People who suffer from it are locked in their own infancy. She has no regard for other people's feelings except as they impact her."

I added, "Eve knows she's hot. And her past experience has convinced her that every man she meets can be manipulated. Unfortunately, that was far too true in my case."

I added sheepishly, "I made a stupid choice, which is why I'm here."

Adah said matter-of-fact, "She IS gorgeous."

I said, "I'd point out that you are a whole lot more attractive than she is. That is, if you'll promise not to hit me. In fact I was immensely proud to be with you."

Adah looked shocked. I added with relish, "There's no more satisfying revenge than rubbing your ex's nose in the exceptional beauty of the woman you're with now. That's why Eve acted like such a canoe."