Songbird

"I do understand. But this is my last performance as well and I need it to go as perfectly as possible. That's why I want you there."

"But this is my dream - to pitch in the major leagues - and this is my big chance to get there. You've already got your dream, remember? You know you're going to CCM on a full scholarship, no less, for your performance studies degree. You'll be singing, playing piano, composing your songs, all on the school's dime. I don't have that luxury. I might get drafted, I might not. If not, all I have a partial scholarship to LSU, but they're loaded with pitchers, so who knows how much of a shot I'll have."

"Can't you ask the coach to change the time back? Doesn't he know how inconvenient that will be for people?"

"No. There's no way I ask coach to change the time. Why do you think I have any say so in this? I'm just one player on a team of 25. Heather, it's not my choice. I have to be there. Why can't you see that?"

"All I see is you getting your way once again. Be at my concert, or not. Right now, I really don't care."

"I'm getting my way? I have no control over this. I said I'll try to get to your concert. Why can't you compromise and watch at least part of my game? It'll take you 10 minutes to walk from the diamond to the auditorium. How is that going to put you out?"

"Maybe I just don't care anymore, just like you. Good bye, Ethan."

"Damn it Heather. Why are you being such a bitch about this?"

When Heather got home, she banged her way into the house, slamming the kitchen door on her way in. Dropping her book bag on the kitchen table, she was in a foul mood. Her mom heard her come in, and went to see what was going on.

"I don't understand why Ethan doesn't pitch the first innings and then leave for my concert. Surely the scouts can see all they want by then. He knows how important this last concert is for me. Why can't he do this for me? And he has the balls to call me a bitch?"

Her mom stood in front of her daughter, aghast at what she just heard.

"Heather Marie Anderson, what's gotten into you? How dare you put yourself before Ethan like this. You know how important this is to him. Pro scouts will be watching him with his future on the line. And you - with your full ride to CCM already in hand. What difference will it make for this concert if he's not there. Your future isn't riding on your performance Saturday - his might be. I never thought I'd ever have to say this to you, but you are acting like a selfish bitch. It wouldn't surprise me if Ethan told you to go to hell for this. How dare you act like this towards him!"

Heather was shocked to hear her mother yell at her like that. She'd never done that in the past, but Heather's actions just pushed her too far.

"But mom..."

"But mom nothing. Ethan has been nothing but loving to you since they moved in. How many concerts and plays has he missed of yours? My guess is none. How many times have you cancelled plans to see one of his games at the last minute? Probably many. He is so in love with you, he'd do most anything for you. But this? Now you're screwing with his future."

Heather went to say something else, but her mom cut her off.

"I don't want to hear it. If you want something to eat, fix it yourself. And think about what you've done. Good night."

Heather ran to her room, slammed the door, and fell onto her bed, crying. Why was everyone so against her on this? Was she really that much in the wrong to want her boyfriend to do what he promised? He was a really good pitcher, so was his future really that much in doubt? And to top it off, both Ethan and her mom had called her a bitch for her actions. Ethan had never been that angry, and she couldn't remember the last time her mom yelled at her for anything. Exhausted by her crying and her anger, Heather fell asleep in her clothes, laying on top of the covers.

The next morning, Heather woke with a start. It was Sunday, and she and her mom usually went out for breakfast, as it was the only morning they had together. But as she lay in bed waking up, all she heard was her mom banging around in the kitchen. Reflecting on last night, Heather knew she had some serious fence mending to do.

As she walked towards the kitchen, she could hear her mom muttering to herself about how disappointed she was, wondering where she had gone wrong raising her daughter, and generally being angry with Heather. Entering the kitchen, Heather knocked on the wall to get her mom's attention.

"Good morning, mom."

Marie angrily turned to her daughter, her feelings fully showing on her face.

"If your first words aren't a sincere apology, then we have nothing to talk about."

Heather took several tentative steps into the kitchen.

"Mom, I am so, so sorry for what I said to you last night. I don't know why I said those things, and I have no idea why I treated Ethan the way I did. I know I didn't think through what I said; I think I was just angry that we couldn't do our usual date night dinner before my concert, and I just flew off the handle. I'm sorry mom - can you forgive me?"

Marie looked at her daughter and saw the remorse on her face. She could see and hear how sorry Heather was, so she opened her arms and welcomed her daughter into a loving hug. With both women crying, it took a while for either to say anything.

"I accept your apology, but I'm not the only one who needs an apology. You better get a hold of Ethan and somehow work this out. And I'm pretty sure you know what you have to do."

Heather nodded her head and headed for the back door. Before she could leave, Marie stopped her.

"You better not go over there looking like you do. You still have yesterday's clothes on, and frankly, sweetie, you look like crap. Take a shower and clean yourself up. And think about how you can fix this."

An hour later, a very remorseful Heather knocked on her neighbor's front door. Normally she would knock and enter, but today she felt she couldn't just go in. After a moment, Rose answered, and looked surprised to see Heather standing there. She opened the door wide and Heather entered.

"Heather, did something happen between you and Ethan? Last night he came home and was really mad at you, yelling and throwing things around. And then today he seems really sad. Whatever happened, Heather, please fix it. Ethan really likes you a lot."

"And I like him a lot, too. That's why I'm here, Rose. To try to fix what I screwed up. Will you tell Ethan I'm here and want to talk?"

Rose scampered away, leaving Heather alone in the front room. Shortly she heard Ethan coming down the stairs, looking like he didn't want to see her.

"What do you want, Heather? Haven't you said enough? Here to rip the rest of my heart out?"

"No, Ethan. I want to talk. And mostly apologize. Can we sit outside?"

Moving to the front porch, Heather sat on the porch swing; Ethan sat as far away from her as he could.

They were quiet for a while, simply sitting and swinging, waiting for the other to say something. Finally, Ethan broke the silence.

"Ok, we're outside. What is it, Heather. I've got things to do."

"Ethan, I'm so sorry for what I said yesterday. You caught me by surprise, and I just over reacted, not thinking about what I said. I know you have no control over what time the game starts, and I realize the golden opportunity this is for you. I shouldn't have said what I said. I know you'd be there for me if you could. And I can still be there for you, if you want. You've been so supportive of me over the years, and I know there's been times I've not been there for you. You always glossed over those times, but I now realize how many times I've disappointed you. I'm sorry, Ethan. I really hope you can forgive me for everything. I still want to be your girlfriend and I hope you feel the same way."

There was a long pause; the only sounds were the squeaking of the porch swing and the soft sobs coming from Heather.

"You hurt me, Heather. You really did. I did nothing to deserve your wrath, yet you stood there and made me feel like everything was my fault. I can't change things. I can't change what you or I said - it is what it is. How do I know that you're being honest with me? How do I know this won't happen again?

"How can I trust you?"

"I don't know, Ethan. I guess you'll just have to try to find a place in your heart to believe me."

They were quiet for a long time. Finally, Ethan slid next to Heather and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. He kissed the top of her head, which led her to start crying once again.

"However, if bitch Heather shows up again anytime soon, we're going to have some serious words."

Saturday rolled around, and as Ethan finished his final warm-ups, he saw Heather in the stands, sitting with Amanda. Behind them were her mom, his mom, and his sisters. Scattered around home plate were the pro scouts - 15, in total, from a number of teams. Knowing he was on a mandated pitch count, and wanting to show the scouts he could pitch a full game, he thought back to a quote from his favorite baseball movie, Bull Durham.

Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some more ground balls. It's more democratic.

With that thought in mind, Ethan began to work his way through the lineup. He gave up several hits, but no walks, only a few strikeouts, along with numerous ground ball outs. In the end, he had a complete game shutout, winning 4-0. After the final out, he found his family in the stands, but Heather and Amanda were gone. He realized they stayed as long as they could before leaving for their concert, and he wanted to do the same. But before he could leave, his coach brought him over to meet the scouts, who had numerous questions for him.

By the time they were done, an hour had passed, and the stands were empty except for his mom. Becky came over, hugged him tight, and told him to take his time getting ready.

"Heather knows you'll be a while. She understands you need to speak with the scouts. Don't worry, Ethan. She'll be waiting for you whenever you get there."

Thanking his mom, Ethan headed for the locker room to take a quick shower. As he headed for the auditorium, several other players went with him. Soon they were seated in the back of the auditorium just as the final piece was to be sung. He knew Heather had a solo, so he was glad he made it.

Just then, the lights changed and the music began. Heather was standing in front of the chorus, alone and in the spotlight, holding one red rose - just where she belonged. Just as she began to sing, she saw Ethan in the seats and smiled - he had made it, just like he promised.

Graduation weekend rolled around, and the kids were busy going from one party to the next. Heather and Ethan held theirs together in Heather's backyard on Sunday afternoon. Soon the yard was full of people - students from the high school, others from their graduation class, as well as teachers, friends, and parents. Part way through the afternoon, Ethan got a call on his cell phone. As he listened, Heather couldn't read his facial expressions. Suddenly he went inside and continued the call.

Heather was puzzled, but decided to give him the space he needed; if he wanted to share what was said with her, he would. Just then, Ethan ran outside, looking for his mother.

"Heather, have you seen my mom? I need her right now."

"I think she's over talking with Amanda's mom. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'll tell you later."

A while later Ethan and his mother came back into the yard, both with smiles on their faces.

"Heather, you're not going to believe what just happened. That was Scott Frost, the agent we've been talking to. He called to tell me that several different teams have spoken with him about me; they all think I have a great chance of being drafted in the first round. So, he is flying me and mom to Chicago for the draft. We're flying in on the 6^th, with the draft two days later. The days we're there, the teams all want to talk to me, to see what kind of person I am and to see if I'll fit into their culture."

"Ethan, that's great! So you'll be there at the draft?"

"Yes. They're holding it at the McCormack Place Convention Center, and we'll be staying nearby. They usually bring in the players that are being considered for the first round so they can make a big show of when they're drafted. I can't believe I'm considered one of the top players."

"I can. I've never doubted you, Ethan. Not once."

A month later, it was draft time. Ethan and Becky made the trip with ease, and were treated like VIPs. Over the course of the first two days, Ethan had meetings with five different teams. None needed to see any type of workouts, as they had all the tape they needed. They just wanted to talk. By the end of the second day, he was exhausted, and all he wanted to do was have some dinner, call Heather, and get some sleep.

The draft was televised on ESPN, so Marie had a watch party at her house, and all of Ethan's friends and teammates were invited. Abby and Rose were there, as was Amanda, who was sitting with an increasingly nervous Heather.

As the show started, the announcers kept going over who they thought were the best prospects. Any time Ethan's name was mentioned, everyone cheered. And then it began. The league commissioner stepped up to the microphone, and announced the first choice. It was a player from Florida State who was considered the overall favorite. Another one was announced, and again, it was one of the top contenders. Then he stepped up to the microphone once more.

" With the third pick of the draft, the Chicago White Sox pick left handed pitcher Ethan West of Lansing High School."

After taking a moment for the announcement to sink in, everyone at the party stood and cheered. There were hugs and high fives all around, and Ethan's sisters held onto Heather while they jumped up and down. The party continued for several hours until people began to filter out. Several of Heather's friends stayed behind to help clean up, until finally it just her, her mom, Rose, and Abby. Both of the younger girls were yawning, so Marie took them home and made sure they were tucked in. When she got back she found Heather sitting on the back deck, deep in thought.

"Hey, sweetie, what's wrong? I can tell something's bothering you. Care to talk about it?"

"You always could read me. I'm worried, mom. Worried about Ethan and me. He's going to head out soon to start his career, and I'm headed to school in a couple of weeks. We won't be together until maybe Christmas, if then. What if he forgets about me? What if he meets someone else? What if we never get together like I always imagined?"

Hugging her daughter, Marie let her ramble on until Heather finally stopped long enough to hug her mother back and sob into her shoulder. When the crying stopped, Marie lovingly kissed Heather on her forehead.

"That's a lot of 'what ifs' to be worrying about, especially for someone who's only 18 years old. Both of you will have to do a lot of growing up in the next few months, and you'll need to find a way to cope without each other - or your moms. As for him forgetting you, that's never going to happen. You will always be a part of him, and he will always be a part of you. You've been friends for too long for that to change. Just like you and Amanda - with her going to Notre Dame, you won't see each other every day. At least you'll be in shouting distance, but your relationships will change.

"And what if you meet someone, or what if Ethan does? You can't close yourselves off to the rest of the world, waiting and hoping you can get together. Life doesn't work that way, Heather. What you have with Ethan is special, and is something you'll both always have. But that doesn't mean you'll be together in the end. Far from it. But you both have to be open to the new opportunities and new challenges you're going to face. Whatever happens, happens, and there's not much you can do to change that."

*****

And life went on. Ethan signed with the White Sox and got a large signing bonus. Before he left for their single-A team in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, he splurged three times and put the rest in the bank or in investments. Once for a new pickup truck, once for a goodbye dinner with his mom and sisters, and once for a goodbye dinner with Heather. And then he was gone.

Weeks after, Heather headed off to the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music to start her academic career. With her emphasizing both vocal performance and piano, she knew she'd be very busy for the next four years. But with Amanda only about 5 hours away, she knew they'd get together sometimes, and they both looked forward to that.

Ethan had a rough start. He wanted to impress everyone with his pitching, but instead got rocked his first three starts. He began to wonder if he was really cut out for professional baseball. After his third bad start, his manager took him aside to talk about what was going on. They realized he was trying too hard to make himself look good; his manager reminded him of what got him drafted so high.

"Remember what you told me after your final game in high school? The words you tried to live by - from Bull Durham."

"You mean the line about strikeouts being boring and fascist?"

"Yep. Get that back into your head. We know how good you can be without trying to strike everyone out. Get back to that Ethan."

Four days later he was back on the mound, but this time with a different mindset. He stopped trying to do it all himself. Suddenly, he was having fun once again, and the results were amazing. Nine innings pitched, three hits, no runs, and only two strikeouts.

After the game, his manager only smiled and said 'told you so' as they walked off the field. And from that point on, Ethan's season was totally different. Fewer strikeouts but more wins for his team and, most importantly, he found he was having fun once again. He was about to be called up to the AA team in Birmingham for the last weeks of the season, but a sudden severe bout of food poisoning put him in the hospital for several weeks... and ended his season.

At the same time, Heather was flourishing. Between her singing and piano prowess, she soon became one of the top students in her department. It was still very difficult, and at times she thought she was crazy to pursue both parts of her degree. But she loved both equally and was loath to think about dropping either one.

She was also buoyed by the fact that before any performance, she found a vase with a single red rose waiting for her in the music area. And each time the note was unsigned but had the same similar message: Break a leg, Songbird; Sing as beautiful as ever, Songbird; Can't wait for another private concert, Songbird; Songbird, Everyone is so proud of you.

When they went their separate ways, Ethan and Heather made it a point to text every day, and tried to call or FaceTime several times each week. As the weeks went on, the everyday texts still happened, but the calls got fewer and fewer until they were just texting.

When Ethan finally got out of the hospital, he stayed in Winston-Salem for several weeks to recuperate and rehab, and then the team sent him to Arizona to their spring training complex to rehab some more, and to work on his mechanics. He was surprised one day when Heather called - waking him up at 7:00 AM.

"Heather, is everything ok? Why are you calling so early?"

"Everything's fine. I just wanted to say good morning live, and not via text messaging. How are you getting along?"

"Good. I'm almost back to full strength, and the coaches here are finding ways to make me stronger. I'm also working on several new pitches. So I'm keeping very busy. How are you?"