All Comments on 'South Bound Train'

sicko, the husband or the wife.

for fucking her in her home.kill both and play crazy.

It appears you've taken a ten-line story, and by, repetition, made a meal out of it. eg -->"through my body as I approached the dinner car. " followed by "knuckles tightened in my fists as I approached the dinner car"

It appears you've taken a ten-line story, and by, repetition, made a meal out of it. eg -->"I was stunned by how hard he was thrusting into her" and "was stunned by how much she was enjoying him abusing her."

It appears you've taken a ten-line story, and by, repetition, made a meal out of it. eg --> but you get my point by now i am sure.

And Word Choice.. my oh my, "the formal dinning room." Look up Dinning, and you'll see it means " sue for payment" nothing to do with cutlery.

"take in the sites of" oh dear .."take in the sight of". Taking in Sites is what a web-browser does.

But apart from the repetition and word choice, there was not much of a story line.

Look forward to better, next time :)

Cheers,

Kilroy

This is just another example of how the "Loving Wives" series on Lit.com is going to hell in a handbasket.

Starts off on a train, but then seems to turn into a building. Cars or compartments turn into rooms. There is no mention of train noise. They seem to be going at it where anyone walking through the train would know...or is it in the "dinning" room? (Was that some reference to the din of the train or do you not know how to spell "dining"?) Just dumb.

so called writers( I personally think that they are juvinals and should be studying math or something, But they write or try to write these stories knowing nothing but their own palms) The novice writer always lets the "so called" husband get sleepy . or drunk, or something so his wife , really a dirty drippy cunted slut, so hot that she can't control herself, like a female bitch puppy has to piss all over you. Writer, or rather little boy...why don't you go and learn proper sex...say with your mother , grandmother or some other filthy family member.marriedwithballs@yahoo.com

You tell them up front it's a cuckold story and they still bitch and complain. The only reason they read your story is to attack writers on this site. Take no notice of them.

Please continue...

He should have walked into the compartment then kicked the guy between the lags then threw the guy off the train then her with him.

Atlanta,Ga

Now explain the lack of manhood to us. Tell us how you felt this was erotic when it was just sick to the lowest fetish of male self humiliation.<P>

Tell us why you showed us what you are like when it should embarrass any man who respects himself.<P>

Why should anyone read anymore of your efforts if this is what you feel is time well spent.

good but should have had a more in depth conclusion

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Story not finished . What happened next? Many possibilities.

reville and a wake up from indigestion, TK U MLJ LV NV

You could catch the Northbound train and write never more.

This was an odd and much too short story about a wife cheating on her husband with her friend and he gets sexually excited while watching them fuck and taking no action to stop them. Very strange story indeed. I give the story only three stars. The story is too short with no development of the characters and their history with each other. There is no development of the relationship between the husband and his wife. Have they been married long? Has she cheated on him before? Who is this Adam character and what is his relationship with the guy’s wife. The story is too short to establish the foundation for telling the story.