All Comments on 'Spank a Waitress Wednesday'

I simply loved all aspects of the story...the imagery, the pacing, the storytelling...and of course, the spanking! Well done!

KINKY!

I loved the story, but, you need a proof reader to check your stories, it was kind of hard to keep up with, with words missing that should have been there. Otherwise, GREAT STORY!

I really liked your story, but I agree it needs proofreading. The errors are minor and could easily be fixed by having a fresh set of eyes go over the story before submission! It was hot and I will read your other work!

Great story, but there's a little something missing. Ally and Denise had it all going, except one thing. You gave all the hints of a little "something" between them, but there's no follow through! There's an area of exploration for the sequel, and maybe more. The only other thing is I wouldn't mind seeing the waitresses wearing pantyhose with their uniforms ala Hooters! That would help in the pain and exposure department.

Was Denise wearing panties or a thong on the night she was spanked? I don't think the author has ever worn (or spanked someone wearing) a thong :-) -- a thong covers nothing in back but the waist. Pulling them down wouldn't expose any more of her derriere than had been exposed before. If you want the "pull them down, lose the bit of protection" idea, maybe her uniform undies should be a bikini? Otherwise, nice story!

Spanking can be very erotic, but this story is simply ridiculous in the telling.

...It seemed a little forced though. Let's start at the end, just like a spanking, heh You wrapped it up in a "happily ever after" way, which comes across as childish. Then you wrote about Ally "now" AFTER writing about "years later" for Denise. Like any timeline, the soonest information should go first with the later statements following later.

You never mentioned Denise shedding any tears during her paddling. She took her smacks very stoically, which to me suggests that the paddling wasn't THAT hard or you left them out. Now a spanking (via a hand) MIGHT be something that tears could be avoided, but typically, tears are an expression of self pity, as in the humiliating experience of being paddled on stage, then having her panties pulled down would make a person feel more humiliation than they could bear, combined with the pain, would have a result of tears falling. After 24 paddlings, Denise; a first time spanked girl, would have tears falling freely or she would have been transported to "subspace" (look in Wiki under "subspace (bdsm)".

The concept of someone looking "red" days after a "spanking" is completely a myth. Usually, redness fades within a couple of hours. Bruises on the other hand are quite commonplace during and after a paddling, however, only if the edge of the paddle is squared. If it is sufficiently rounded, then bruises would not occur. The blows are spread out over a large area, opposed to a switch for instance which is small and not rounded enough and bruising occurs most prevalently where the tip hits.

Using a paddle is very difficult, especially if the swinger is raising their hand up as high as thy can at the top of the swing. At that point, even with a highly muscled bottom, it is possible that the blow could be hard enough to bruise the bone. These are the hardest bruises to heal, and thus take a long time to heal properly.

While it's "fun" to think that a heiny can take any amount of punishment dished out to it, the reality is it can't.

Likewise, while spankings don't hurt "days afterwards", this is also a myth. Pain is often aglow for about an hour later, but diminishes "too quickly" for many spankaholic.

Rarely does a submissive ever do an "ouchy dance" afterwards, if ever, though rubbing does occur. You didn't mention that but I thought I'd put that out there.

I think the concept that Denise's panties were lowered was "cute" but it pushed reality too far off into fantasy. Connected with someone else's comment, I'll agree that a thong doesn't cover enough to warrant lowering them. I think this could have handled better by having a "Rio" style bathing suit bottom panty (which covers half of each cheek), and then when the crowd yells for more, Denise's panties are pulls up into her butt crack. This is less humiliating than lowering them, true, but it also causes naughty bits to get rubbed, possibly stimulating her enough to cause her to "rethink" the whole, "spankings are bad" concept. In the end, she would be more inclined to think Ally was right.

You never mentioned that Ally was told about the spankings on Wednesdays. I think it could have been explored that Ally might have given Denise an, albeit light, spanking after Denise got dressed up. This would prompt Ally to trying it out her own spanking with her boyfriend. Missed opportunity there.

I think you should have had another spanking in there. You sought of did an "off camera" spanking with Ally and her boyfriend, but I think you could have added something like; that Denise "enjoyed" her spanking (really a paddling) so

much that she went home with her boyfriend (or that random guy she met and learned his name but who didn't pop up again in the story), who, when they get to her apartment, pulls down her panties and gave her a spanking. Denise relives in her mind her paddling in front of the crowd and imagines this time her panties are lowered at the same time her bf does it for real. they have great sex afterwards and Denise becomes an spanking addict.

Contrary to all of that, as I first stated, the story is imaginative and what you wrote, you wrote well enough.

Loved this one. Think I will play this out with my husband tonight.

The scruffy manager who loves to hear himself talk, the skimpy uniforms, the customer with the silver eagle necklace. All of it comes together to make the story work. Good job!

This story has so many fun elements! Our "esteemed waitress Marissa" reaching in and drawing the nametag from the fishbowl. Candace saying she's going to tell Jake this is complete crap and then the visual, but not the audio, of her arguing with him.

And I knew Denise would be picked. I just didn't know how you'd dance to it. ;-) Nicely done!

Now, to the person talking about the possibility of Rio panties and pulling them deep into the crack, that would make a fine alternate story. But I like this story just as it is. I like the embarrassment and humiliation of taking down her panties even though there's no "need" to!

I think fiction often works better when it's written quickly. And maybe just one pass through with the editing in case there's anything glaring, including an omission of not following through with a character. And that's it.

So, Totzman and everyone else, please keep writing, and fast. Any mistakes merely become part of the texture!

Love this story. Yes it could do with a little editing to make it more consistent. When I read it I imagine Denise is wearing a "Tilted Kilt" uniform.

Surely the spankee?

The waitress selected to be paddled gets half the raffle money, and the rest is divided evenly among the staff. This sets up all kinds of delicious permutations. For example, a waitress legitimately does not want to be spanked, but it's a big night for the pocketbook. A waitress maneuvers so that her rival and "frenemy" is spanked. The prospect of being spanked is a sexual turn-on for one particular waitress but she loves the social context of being "forced" into it.

And how might the dastardly deed be pulled off? One method is to keep a second name tag in the refrigerator and put this one in the fishbowl. And then a friend reaches her hand in and theatrically circles the name tags around. What she's really doing is parking the cold one. And with a magicians flourish, she reaches in a second time and there you have it. :-)

The money for the tickets should have went to the spanked waitress.

While back home for the Summer in Rockport, Texas, she got a job waitressing at a honky tonk. And in order to ramp up business during a slow night, this establishment had a spanking contest. Two teams of girls played at foosball. The winners got 200 bucks each and the losers . . Yep, you guessed it, the losers were spanked. The bar had a raffle with 20% going to a local charity. Three local men won and sat in a circle with hairbrushes in their laps. Each team had a manager who could substitute in, so three girls were at risk.

My wife Janice is a very cute 5’3” with a great ass. I could see why any man would love to spank her.

Anyway, it was a taunt, highly-contested match. And Janice’s team lost 4 games to 3. So, it was her, and her friend and fellow waitress Carol, as well as hostess Tina. One of the real managers Holly led the girls over to the three men. Each man took a girl and placed her over his lap. At this point, my wife had no idea that she would actually be going over all three laps.

Holly announced, “On the count of three, I want to hear three good spankings, with squeals and leg kicks. The panties will stay up, for now. But I want to see those lower cheeks red! One, two . ”

Janice felt her skirt being pulled up and her spanker taking a firm hold round her waist. Holly announced, “ . . and Three!” and the spanking was on. My wife knew in the abstract that a spanking would hurt, but she had no idea just how much. Her man started with firm solid blows alternating between her two cheeks, but he progressed to five hard blows right in the middle of each cheek, and then five hard blows to her lower cheeks unprotected by panties. Janice said that definitely made a difference. She heard the other two girls saying the occasional “Oh”, or “humpf,” or drawing a gasp of air. Tina seemed to be suffering more than Carol. And then Janice realized she was making the same noises.

The spanking was to be the length of a song, although it seemed a rather long song. And then the girls got up and rotated to the next man. Janice tried not to rub her ass too obviously, in order to avoid giving the men the satisfaction.

As they started the next song, she realized why Tina had been suffering more. Janice’s new spanker spanked MUCH harder. He peppered both her cheeks with hard, fast strokes. And as with her last spanker, he focused a lot of attention on the exposed and vulnerable lower ass flesh. Janice felt her hand edging down to try to protect her ass, but then he locked her hand in his free hand and put a stop to that nonsense. Janice could feel herself kicking. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, but just couldn’t help it. And she could hear herself starting to plead a little, “Oh, not so fast. Please not quite so fast.” Janice was surprised by her own politeness, but I guess when you’re over a lap receiving a sound spanking, politeness pays, or at least is the best bet. In any case, it didn’t work. Her man continued to spank fast and hard. Finally, finally . . . the song came to an end.

But then Holly said, “On the count of three, how about another 30 seconds really hard and fast (Janice heard Carol say, ‘Oh, Shit’ at this point). So, . . One, Two, . . and Three!”

And Janice’s spanker went extra hard and fast, up one cheek and down the other, and then five, six, seven solid whacks to lower left cheek, and the same number if not more to lower right! Janice later explained to me how she really tried to buck and scramble off his lap, but to no avail.

When let up, all three girls did an Indian war dance, not giving a damn about what the men or the audience thought. Janice remembers camera flashes going off.

As Janice, Carol, and Tina were pulled across the third lap, Holly announced, “These poor behinds are so red, I think we’ll give each of you a choice. And we’ll start with Tina. Tina dear, you have a choice between a regular spanking with the hairbrush or a bare-hand spanking. But if it’s bare-hand, it’s going to also have to be bare bottom. So, Tina, which will it be, hairbrush on the panties, or bare bottom.” In a quiet voice, Tina said, “bare bottom.”

Holly gave Janice the same choice. After a pause, my wife heard herself quietly whisper, “ . . bare bottom.” Carol struggled with it a little, being a good church girl and all. But when Tina said, “He’s a really hard spanker,” and Janice added, “Yeah, he is,” Carol finally said, “ . . bare . . ”

The girls had their panties pulled down their legs to around their knees. A new song started, and the spankings begun afresh. Just the sound of bare hand on bare ass, well, it sounded much fleshier and dirtier and more personal. At one point, Janice saw Carol’s panties fly straight up in the air. They must have worked their way down her legs with the kicking, finally to catch on her tennis shoes and then be projected straight up. When Janice couldn’t find her panties afterwards, she figured something similar happened to her. And she has confessed to me that she knew this last spanker could see both her tight little asshole and also the pink lips of her pussy, and maybe even the swollen knob of her clitty. She found the spanking both painful and undeniably sexually arousing.

After this last spanking, the three girls did a more restrained war dance, trying to face away from the audience so that pussies would not be seen. More restrained because it was a hard spanking after all.

They went into the back area, fixed themselves up a little (Carol and Janice still panty-less), and then circulated for about twenty minutes bringing drinks, and really gunning for tips of which they got a considerable amount. The three culprits then quickly hugged in the parking lot and took off separately.

My wife went banging on her then boyfriend’s window, and the two had really satisfying sex and very deep into the night.

I married Janice about four years after this. And if you haven’t guess, yep, of course, she’s a spankaholic. Maybe this event merely awakened something, or maybe it was a big part of the cause. I have learned to read my wife’s moods, when she wants medium hard, and when she’s itching for the relief that only a really hard one will provide.

We’ve thought about some of these big spanking parties — there really are such things! — and merely considering it adds to our fantasies and we probably will do it one fine day. :-)

It sounds sereal but it's not

Could Denise Byers appear on Nude Secretary Day where her Law firm has a contract negotiation with Albert.

It's possible...

you dont have to include her if its changes the script and there is always another Nude Day