All Comments on 'Special Delivery'

Looking forward to more

Would give 5 million stars if I could

I'm actually editing chapter two, strangely enough the positive reaction is lighting a metaphorical fire under my ass to finish faster

Dream of dreams

A simple story told in a straightforward way which was all the better for it. Quite a few errors, particularly punctuation, which need to be corrected if you ever want to get it exactly right. One of the things that stood out to me was the use of capitals for emphasis. I think italics is a more subtle way of getting the message across but that, of course, is a personal opinion.

You avoided the usual mistakes of the poor writer and left much to the reader’s imagination. No description of a ten inch click, for example. Also you wrote one twenty instead of 120. When a writer puts numbers such as 5’10” instead of five foot ten it breaks the up the story which needs to be smooth and have a rythmn. So well done in those respects.

I like the fact you encouraged the reader to look for the next chapter by not having her finish the job and depending on where you want to take the story it could have a few instalments. At the time of this comment the rating is good, as it should be, but bear in mind one page stories can sometimes suffer because of it unless the standard is maintained.

I look forward to the next chapter appearing.

I'm still getting the hang of Literotica's formatting. I churn out a multi page turner only to find that what I wrote barely cracks two pages and THAT only because I included a to be continued. As for the technical aspects I'd happily welcome a second set of eyes as a beta reader, ...well mostly happy

Thank you again for reading my work, I WANT to get better and that means polishing my technique.

size king

Love the beginning and can’t wait to suck down more chapters.