All Comments on 'Spellman Ch. 12'

Loved the ending. It definitely is time for Ryan to explore what his new life has to offer!

Do keep going with this one. I’m loving it.

Interestingly I am more into the story line than the sex. I am fascinated to know what happens next. The first thing I do in the morning is to check if there is another episode. I have no idea where this is going next but just keep writing .

kind of an abrupt ending to this chapter

Great yarn so far. My guess is that he's going to finally end up with Miss Triple G.

I have no idea what is going on here. Sort of like Ryan. Without the uh, never mind.

This is entertaining in it's episodic content. I like that you have two mcs who you sometimes alternate between as well, giving us a different perspective. It's feeling a bit like a reluctant harem story and there is nothing wrong with that.

Awesome. Hot scene and interesting character development. Cheers!

The story crumbled under the absurdity of a threesome, then a proposed foursome: what started with sage advice from mom and what's assumed to be a job that will make a person at least think moderately well before doing anything stupid or being seen anywhere untoward...is completely moot. Ryan screws strippers at random, gets involved with any female that will give him a chance? No woman in her right mind would "wink" and approve of a loud threesome--much less talk to the guy enjoying it--and instead of this being perhaps a challenge in dealing with multiple female personalities in working relationships, we've got a thinly-veiled harem story that cannot pass muster with these people being teachers. Sadly, the females act far more like males than women. It's just a sex free-for-all that skips verisimilitude altogether. 1

There is no versimillitude in fiction . Usaully the disclaimer covers that at the beginning of the story . As far as your implications that teachers , namely female teachers . Don't have crazy sex lives . This will be news to them . First they heard . And these collection of different personalities has already begun , slowly . As these 2 page chapters have only allowed so much . There are still characters we haven't even met .

But you are right that some of the common herem stories can lack diverse personalities . But some are deep as deep . What in the hell is aburd about thresomes and foursomes . Did you just dicover erotic lit . yesterday ?

I am also not a harem with females being exclusive fan . But most are .

@ pk2 So sorry to have to discredit that argument, but the following quotes comes from a masterclass writing website:

"Verisimilitude (pronounced ve-ri-si-mi-li-tude) is a theoretical concept that determines the level of truth in an assertion or hypothesis. It is also one of the most essential literary devices of fiction writing. Verisimilitude helps to promote a reader’s willing suspension of disbelief. When using verisimilitude in writing, the goal is to be credible and convincing."

Case closed.

Oooohhhh...Comentarista82 should drop out of the commenting business...too argumentative, borders on bullying...

And, I correct myself, it was Tori who brought up the 3some idea, not Melissa...still, it all worked out really nicely.

AND, Ryan, Tori, and Melissa are COMMUNICATING like adults should; this is going to keep some balance here, what with Ryan and his 'mo ogamy' issues...not that being with only one person is bad. Just, he should enjoy his freedom, and the willingness of the ladies he knows now, and not do the "terrible rebound thing" that has him sitting by himself on the beach, contemplating the Amanda relationship falling apart.

Amanda...still an 'enigma'...hope it gets cleared up sometime...and that she does not become an "issue" for Ryan later on!!

Five Stars!!

@TX

My original comment is 3 months old, addressing no one; the other corrects a major error. All those are valid commenting activities by policy--as they are also valid literary criticism. You have also not identified the literary technique I employ, nor produced evidence to support that, which only proves you're here only for yourself, not to grow in literary circles--but you have to start abiding by commenting policy, which is to comment on the story, literary elements in it, etc.

Who cares what comentarista says... until they publish a story and are su ject to criticism then I don't care and neither should the rest of us.

We obviously like the stories