All Comments on 'Spider’s Lesson'

Hi, congratulations on your first story here. It was very well written and was well developed for its length. There is opportunity to develop further, if you wish, or leave it here since it does a great job of leaving the reader pleased with what’s on the screen but hopeful for more of Jennet’s adventures. Great job.

I really liked this, great balance between emotion and eroticism. I would love to see the characters developed more. Right now Spider is interesting, but other than being a great chess player and very dominant, he's got very little personality to him.

Well, check mate ;)

Hello! Thanks so much for your kind words. I really appreciate the feedback especially with it being my first time on here. I’m writing Chapter 2 as we speak…

That was very sexy! I am looking forward to the next installment!

To heighten the effect, I read Jennifer's lines in Jodie Foster's voice, and Spider's in that of Anthony Hopkins.

If you have more of these characters to bring forth, I welcome them.

Congratulations on your first story, Linnet! The first of many, I hope. It gave me a lot of pleasure ….

The author doesn’t understand chess games. The higher ranked players can predetermine the game’s ending many moves before checkmate occurs. Us lesser beings can see checkmate in 5 to ten moves! Spider’s checkmate with his pawn is anticlimactic at best!

Thank you, Edwards, Jay and darling Chelt, I’m glad you enjoyed my efforts! Jay, I hadn’t considered that Spider could be a Hannibal Lecter kind of character! It’s such a good twist 😊

Anonymous, I’m sorry you think that. Their first game was based on one I played a while ago against a much stronger player. He absolutely crushed me 🙂 Yes, in reality Spider, Jennet and the assembled watchers would have known it was coming and she ought to have resigned, but taking it to mate seemed a better narrative fit as it demonstrates her relative inexperience (also, mate, hur hur). I did find it tricky balancing the accuracy of the chess with the need to make it palatable to non-chess players. If you want to discuss further, get in touch, I’m always keen to learn, otherwise stay tuned for a lovely quick smothered mate in part 2!

Mmmmm...I need part 2 L.

Thanks, Phoenix. I’m still getting over the implosion of my relationship with the real Spider, but when I’m better, I’ll finish part 2 and let you see 😊