All Comments on 'Splashdown Ch. 01'

Reading this gave me autism.

I’m sorry, but after reading this chapter I won’t continue reading the coming chapters. The premise for the story is interesting, but the writing (especially dialogue) is stilted/dry and uninteresting. Does anyone really talk like that? Moreover, the author/editor was far from careful in proofing this chapter. A simple spell check would flag “Beleive.” Other minor errors should have been caught (e.g., then/than, spared/sparred), but wouldn’t have prevented my enjoyment of a well-told story.

Well this is interesting and worth a read, however,

the mc is so smart he's outsmarting himself and those involved in crew selection do not send goats into space.

There is no way they would send someone up with this big of a psychological instability.

She would not pass muster.

I'm sorry if this criticism comes across as harsh but it was really too long, too much was said that didn't need to be said nor did topics need to be constantly restated, you kept going over the same points so much It felt like I was reading a cagivagurl story. And like another comment stated, the dialog was dry as well as lacked any real emotional depth. And using big words just for the sake of showing of really hurts the story. I wouldn't bother reading the second chapter if I wasn't such a glutton for punishment. In the future please utilize a proof reader.

conversation with Kathy was way too long and repetitive

Great idea, and you really introduce the conflict well. I am anxious to read the rest. I do however think your dialogue actually repeats, or better yet re-covers the same points several times. Tightening that up would keep your dialogue strong while maintaining the intellectual edge you’ve honed into your characters. Now on to Ch. 2.

Thanks for writing!

For this author women can be astronauts but they'll still be women, i.e., beings just a tad above animals, without control over their urges.

What a load of misogynistic, objectifying, demeaning, infantilizing crap that "conversation" was.

There is the slim possibility of that crap being just the character's view. If the author proves him wrong in the next chapter(s) I'll come back and fix my rating.

Loving the story so far. You’re doing great.

Repetitious

My God, have you heard of cut to the chase. Good story if you cut out all the worthless babble.

So much potential, by definition counseling session are self centered, but are they also so Whiny?

I gotta say, overthinking this shit. Doing a thorough job but, well, she's a fuckin' astronaut. What did I hear the other night? Your brain is overclocked. Brilliant, but Loving Wives?

Back to Bristol series was very good I read all chapters; never lost interest.

I only read the first 1/3 of this Ch 01.

I could not continue past this 1/3 read due the whining little bitch of a Husband, yes I'm a Male and a husband.

I scanned some near the last and as suspected it was expected venture into cheating.

That is what I signed up for when I opened this story but the length and whining at the beginning was

such a turn off I could not continue. my grade would of been a minus 5 if possible.

Amazing story. Loving it so far. Interesting question. Who are the first people to have sex in space? How do they know the behavior of sperm and fertilization in space? Hmmmm. To that respondent from a week or so ago: I hate your response because you lumped everyone's libedo and sexual response into your own safe little box. The author is positing that both husband and wife have high libidoes which is one reason they match so well. I know people, women, with high libidoes. They would not last a week without having at least having to masturbate, which IS NOT POSSIBLE ON THE SPACE STATION without everyone knowing and cooperating about it. Six months, yeah, they'd be fucking whoever they could. I hate that you immediately went into feminist outrage mode, without consideration of the breadth of human experience.

Exidently gave it a 5*. Agreed basically with everything other fellas said, and more. Had to come back to this story 4 times in order to finish it. 2* max.

Warning to readers, future chapters a long drawn out retellings of what has happened and through the first 10 chapters set a reconciliation at all costs to Gary.

Unless you are a fan of weak men, selfish wives, and RAAC stop now

Either the MC (Gary) or the author suffers from a fatal case of analysis paralysis in a far too long and drawn out story!

She absolutely lied by omission, deliberately, about a huge thing affecting both. That's selfishness on a breathtaking scale. If she'll do that, she can't be trusted. I don't need to slog through multiple chapters to know what happens. Yuck.

As with your other stories, simply too wordy.

For such a smart guy, how does the MC not ever address the potential fidelity of the male crew mate? It takes two to Tango. Huge flaw in the story so far. I guess the only noble males in this universe are the overly wordy protagonists.

That was deep, and dark. Gary’s best option was to separate from Peg immediately after confirming her lies. At least that way she’d have time to recover before launch.

Hey guys out there, If interest in not getting into the situation like the MC is, then don't have a relationship with someone who's career and ambition cloud over your marriage. Your relationship and possibility of having kids. To break it down to its most basic level if the b****I'm married too. I'll send you 110% of the marriage like I am. I have no interest bang with the fucking cunt. End of story.

The lie of omission is the big question under the others. Was it moral cowardice, or was it, as suggested, selfishness, in placing her career above her marriage? We will see!

The lie of omission about something so big is rightfully so a serious cause for concern. I wonder if Peg already considered a lot of the stuff that was mentioned here. It looks like she places her career above her marriage in any case, and that's never good of the marriage. It's not looking good. But really, can people not control themselves for a few months? Some of these stories make people out to be sex-addicted pussyhounds/cocksluts. If you can't control your damn urges for a few months then honestly what does that say about what kind of person you are?