All Comments on 'Splashdown Ch. 04'

It is unlikely that Gary will be able to create the passion and physical relationship he once shared with his wife. Peggy may not have been able to engage in a sexual relationship during her adventure in outer space but it is obvious that she had shared an emotional affair with Alexi and shared what she announced to all as "the ultimate memory and thrill of my life". Recover after landing may be possible but the shell of their marriage will not survive reentry. Her landing in the Russian wastelands will be easy when compared to her landing back at the Cape.

Plain and simple. Too many words

This guy Gary is Mr. Ad Nauseum personified. I'm not sure I'll make through 11 chapters!

Spectacular examination of the relationship between whatacunt and supercuck. Hate them both but can’t stop watching the wreck.

Peggy will have a baby bump when she returns to earth.

You are rehashing the same thing over and over and over. It is feeling like a high schooler’s term paper on a subject with not enough substance, being stretched to meet the required number of words. Are you trying to get us all to drop off? You took 4 chapters to convey 1 1/2 chapters worth of content. Move it along please because it is extremely annoying now. I thought I liked the male character, but now it sounds like constant whining. If this is how he is, no wonder she had to actually leave Earth to get away from him!

Is there any end to this analytical agonizing bullshit? Cut to the chase, you've overdeveloped the tension to the point of ridicule...

There seems to be a LOT of unnecessary blah, blah, blah with no point to it - kind of like filler. He seems very indecisive and without direction while she's laser focused. Not a good pair, nor do they seem like they care. Put us all out of our misery and just get a divorce. A least he'll get alimony.

Utter verbage! The author can put a story together but then buries it in utter verbage and repetition. Also building characters that not only lose their appeal but who are made unsavory by the authors indecisive and repetitive rambling. This spaceflight has had more analyses that the real ones.

I kinda see how the MC is trapped.

You can't divorce your wife while she's in space. It's just not done: "...really? Holding hands while I got zippo on earth? Fuck you, bitch, i hope your baby is irradiated!!

It's not good for the mission...

Is this story ever going to end? It had great possibilities but descended into word soup. The MC is supposed to be some kind of secret agent but he acts like a complete wimp. Pages of basically navel gazing!

Chopped, I really appreciate your stories, and I really appreciate you sharing them, so thank you. You get 5 stars from me the fine work you do here.

But... yeah, there is a "but." It has been a struggle listening to his whining, and wallowing with Gary in his magnanimous, loving selflessness when we are led to believe that he is a cold, calculating, clear-thinking, hard-assed bastard in the face of injustice. Hell, in this chapter, Gary calmly and matter-of-factly told Kathy that he would kill any guy that would cause his wife to cheat, all in the name of justice. So yeah, I have a hard time actually believing that Gary is this justice warrior and not just a big-talking whiner, when he is at the receiving end of the worst injustice you've yet described in any of your stories and yet he does nothing but turn the other cheek. Why didn't he at least tell Peggy, speaking of the holding hands with Alexi, "damn, Peggy, that's more intimacy than you've shown me in the past six months." Seriously, Gary needs to call her out on her shit. Let her screw-up the mission and show the world she would have failed if not for Gary's support. Sure it would be hard to do if you loved someone as much as Gary loves her, but she's shown that she is not worth his love, is trying to push him away, and never will be worth the agony she's put him through.

Gary is a massive pussy. Why in the heck would you want to contemplate having kids with this selfish beeotch? If he had a set, he’d start separating things to dump her ass and then get rid of her when she returns.

Okay, using his available resources Gary needs to develop an appropriate response to Peggy's actions . My personal choice would be to have the ubiquitous manila envelope in hand and present it to his spaced out wife at a televised news conference after her triumphant return to earth. All the emotional and physical excitement they shared before is now a fading memory. Her unique place in his life will never be the same and since the greatest sex organ is the mind, his will never hold her in a special place reserved just for her.

Looking forward to the future adventure of this duo.

It just occurred to me that this story is shades of RichardGerald's "Unfaithful," except Gary is much more of a Declan Hudson than a Jimmie O'Reilly.

By God I think you've done it. You've created a wife equal to and maybe exceeding the vile wife Linda in George Anderson's infamous "February Sucks" tale. Sadly you have also created a weak, wimpy husband that 90% of us hate. The only character I respect in this whole mess is Peggy's dad. He was going to get shit straightened out until cuck boy jumped in.

Like others, I think he is a whiner. Quite unlike the few spec op personnel I have known. A frequent comment I have heard applies here: ‘it’s time to fight, fuck or go for his gun.’

It was better than the 1st three chapters, but too many words not enough context. Could have been a 2 pager….

From bully to wimp. Gary needs to walk away and go radio silence. Get back into the "field" and kill some bad guys (maybe a Russian or two). It would make him feel better. Then come back, divorce the cheating wife and marry Kathy. Move on. Have some babies. If he ever crosses paths with Alexei, well he knows what to do.

I so was anticipating the end of this fable and was I disappointed. Gary was created as a smart fellow. He was not a wimp. He was deeply in love. In the first three chapters, his psychological insight is remarkable for its depth and accuracy. Yet at the end, after suspecting with reason, both the unfaithfulness of Peggy and the lack of a positive outcome for himself, he just took it despite all the insight he expressed in the first 3 chapters. At the end, a more reasonable outcome, knowing his marriage was dead in principle would have been for him to just go...anywhere. Give her up by not being around for any "calls" and resume his work from a different post. The only rational and emotional ending would have been to remove himself from her sphere of existence for she was already gone in more ways than one.

Four multiple page chapters to just point out that she is a cunt and he is a pussy.

As it was said from the start, this is just a cheating/cuck story, weakly hidden under the coverup of a space adventure and an endless amount of distraction psycho-dialogues. This story is totally unbelievable, but the only huge problem here, is the absolute fantastic behaviour of the super-strong-agent, the husband, painted like one of the more childish, immature and idiot human being (we can't really use the term man for him).

As it was said from the start, this is just a cheating/cuck story, weakly hidden under the coverup of a space adventure and an endless amount of distraction psycho-dialogues. This story is totally unbelievable, but the only huge problem here, is the absolute fantastic behaviour of the super-strong-agent, the husband, painted like one of the more childish, immature and idiot (sub)human being (we can't really use the term man for him).

So, next part could be:

in the next video meeting, she will mate with one of her space lover in front of her husband (for scientific reasons of course), and he will keep saying (many times) "I support you, whatever you do", So he beg her b1tch wife to let the space studs breed her, promising that when she'll come back on earth, he will be ready to raise the bastard child. What a lovely husband, he certainly would do anything for his wife, a really great example to follow for all the men candidates to extinction.

The first 3 chapters, I feel, have too much psychobabble in them! There also seems to alot of repetitiveness in them. I've thought about stop reading, but I wanted to see what finally happens! Wether he gets his balls back and kicks the narcissistic bitch into touch, where she belongs or the dope sucks the bullshit up that's going to flow from her and lets her back in the house. The antagonist reminds me of the wife in Richard Gerald's "Unfaithful" and the sequel "Faithful in her Fashion", a doctor who deserts her family, husband and 2 small children, to goto Africa to work with Medcins sans Frontieres and fucks 2 other medical staff! The wife doesn't seem to give two shifts about her children and husband!

The wife in this story just doesn't give a shit about her husband, with no consultation with him about decisions about the space flight until she's made the decisions! The fact she's also taken injection/s to suppress her libido 4 months before take off, cutting her husband off from sex, but at the end of this chapter she seems to be enjoying the company of one of the other astronauts, points to, maybe, those medications are no longer working or even worse for the husband, she's not taking them anymore! Quite frankly, like other commentators, I think he should have confronted her on this video link and see where the balls fall!

I don't normally leave comments or scores until the end, but this story has pissed me off! I hope there is only 1 more chapter in these ramblings or I will probably give up!

Dobbin55

This is so repetitive, do we really need Gary to repeat the same points about his worthless marriage 10 times per chapter?

Also this reads like daytime soap opera, we just need to sound effects to go along with the gasping. All in all this is poor, the storyline is good but the characters and bloated script has relegated this to the scrapheap.

Maybe we've been reading Gary all wrong. Early on in the story he admitted to Kathy that he would do everything to keep her sane and on an even keel while she was in space, including dealing with the possibility (nay likelihood) of her opening her legs, if not her heart, to one or more of her fellow astronauts. It seems he may be keeping his word very well indeed. I think there is a very good chance that this 'weak and cucky' husband will revert to a monstrous vengeful killer once she returns to Earth and him. He obviously loves her dearly, and would have no hesitation in ending the lives of Sergei and either of the other two Russian men if they also shared her. He has already informed Kathy that would happen. I think Gary not only has a large pair of balls, but an iron will and inner strength to keep her functioning mentally before she finally lands back on Earth. Once Peggy has landed then a giant shitstorm will begin. I hope so.

You make the husband a floor mat, that the wife just keeps pissing and shitting on, you make him appear as pathetic to say the least. He is just soooo good and nice about what she’s done to him. Too good for any real person.

Still scoring this low, he is fast becoming a cuck.

Another approach would be for hubby to begin divorce proceedings and having the wife served in front of all viewing, with the space agency named as a culpable party to the demise of the marriage. This should follow with hubby being returned to active status in his career, ans filing a way to deal with Alexi.

DOL

Very good , I think he will start with the friend now and will hopefully enact revenge on her voyage mates upon her return. The marriage should be dead and hopefully even though she disgrace him in there marriage and his job she can live with herself

Pleàse get on with the story

Im, hopefully, going to suggest something not already mentioned here. Mission Control has to be aware of the magnitude of disconnect between Gary and Peggy especially since they have been monitoring all communications from Peggy to her family. And if they didn’t understand the extent of disconnect before, after the drama just witnessed by everyone, the program managers would be left no choice but to question their staff including Kathy about the situation and possible consequences for the team and mission. If they find Kathy is compromised, I would expect them to remove her from the assignment. I would also expect them to start having discussions with Gary and his bosses as well.

I’m still left with a lot of questions regarding the drug Peggy received and if it was actually something different than what she was told. It still wouldn’t change her decision making process but it may account for some of her behavior. Astronauts go through a lot of evaluations and training. Could she actually be in a secret experiment without her knowledge? That may account for some things that seem way out of the norm for a standard mission. For both Gary being mothballed on his job and Peggy’s behavior. Actually, could she possibly be in something like an MK Ultra program where she is undergoing some sort of brainwashing process? I know these are fanciful ideas but that’s the point. When you have a problem with lack of information, one starts looking for answers that are not in the box.

Gary at this point is pathetic. He's just being a doormat and everyone knows.

The official favorite story of the Department of Redundancy Department.

If this story had a mascot it would be a snail, moving in a circle. Going round and round a small, 1” diameter circle wearing a groove deep into the earth, but not deep enough to hit lava or anything like that, because that would be too exciting.

The prose itself is fine, but pacing, character development, and plot progression are almost nonexistent. Thousands of words over 4 pages to make maybe 2 or 3 advances in the plot makes this a very tough story to stick with as a reader, despite that good prose and latent potential.

SO much good with this story - especially ch 3. The psychological aspects very well thought out. You had the courage to put this to paper. Awesome. I don't respect Gary and I don't like Peggy, but I want to know what happens! That is a sign of a good story. If you go back to it, suggest your really tighten it up - especially chapers 1 & 2.

Please have Gary infiltrate Alexi secure world & gut him!

Why was he running cover for her?

Mega cringe and BETA as fuck.

I puked in my mouth. I am tired of the "I love her" nonsense. Love does not make you a door mat. It is obvious Peg has zero consideration, love or respect for Gary. He was a support system to get to be an astronaut. Why any man would put up with this is beyond my comprehension. For the record I am not some misogynistic ashore. But what she has done is beyond the pale and for Gary to keep coming back for more is beyond credulous,

I see big improvements in the prose quality of this chapter. The dialogue is much better. The characters aren't giving long speeches to each other anymore. The overall storytelling is better, too. The plot continues to hold my interest. Altogether a good read albeit with room for improvement. Five from me.

Great story. 5*, but the MC is a navel gazing wussy.

Interesting story line that needs to be skimmed to be tolerable. Still, so overlong that I could only give it a couple stars. This whole thing could likely be reduced down to one chapter of maybe 4-6 pages. Maybe go for the Novellas category instead?

No good deed goes unpunished. Gary is an idiot. His self sacrificing is for not. Peg is a typical selfish “modern” woman, i.e. a self centered slut. Why on earth (or in heaven) would Gary worry only about her happiness when it is clear Peg doesn’t give a shit about him? Only her happiness matters? WTF? Can she be served papers on the ISS? Hmmmm….

Oh yeah and please add more words, this isn’t long enough…. More, more, more… particularly repetitive inane dialog.

The entire chapter could have been written in 3 paragraphs.

Yes, there is a lot of word-bloat. That said i don’t think you could really get inside Gary’s head without a lot of the descriptive passages. It certainly amplifies Gary’s undeserved suffering. Peg’s mother called Gary, Peg’s rock. After that conversation and Peg’s affection for Alexi, Peg’s mother ought to think otherwise. What i wonder, is whether any of her family can email their displeasure to Peg; whether it’s censored and sanitized to not upset the crew.

Didn't she say in the last chapter she had no interest in anything sexual or the touch of another man due to the meds yet she seemed awfully chummy with Alexi and even behaved like she had just been caught doing something inappropriate when Gary first spoke? Then when she realized she was still holding Alexi's hands a bit later she mouthed "damn". That's very suspicious behaviour. What the hell is going on? I wonder if she's taking the drugs still. Is there some conspiracy? Is she having an affair after all? Will there be less word bloat going forward!?

What a pussy. Leave and stop self punishment; she surely is enjoying herself. What a weak operative, I see why he was sidelined!