All Comments on 'Splashdown Ch. 04'

This is so bad the author should be in jail. I mean this REALLY awful. In fact it's almost impossible to count the number of ways at this story is insufferable, awful, absurd and mindless.

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KATHYS BETRAYAL DESTROYS THE MARRIAGE

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Early in this chapter we find out that Kathy has made a deal with the wife to look after the husband but Kathy who now claims to be in his corner never told the husband about this deal. so now the husband who has been shit upon lied to disrespected and countless ways just got fucked over by Kathy - who says I AM IN YOUR CORNER ?

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The husband is supposed to be some kind of intelligence officer working for some government agency but apparently he is so pathetically stupid and delusional and self-righteous and loves to suffer that he completely ignores what Kathy has done to him.

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How does Kathy claim that she is in the husband's Corner when all she is done is engage in a conspiracy to fuck over the husband and destroy the marriage.?

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KEY POINT -- We all know what's going to happen here -- the wife is going to end up having sex with one of the Russian astronauts on the space station because she believed that Kathy was going to “take care” of her husband because that is what they agreed upon.

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THE STUPIDITY OF THIS STORY

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From the very first chapter of the story The husband comes across as the world's most perfect understanding compassionate man as he constantly displays weakness. This is a problem that many authors have.

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Weakness is not strength. If you don't have the ability either physically or intellectually or emotionally to fight back that doesn't make you a good person. It makes you weak. If you want to be a good person you have to be strong because being good takes a lot of energy and character to be good.

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The husband character thinks that by accepting everything that the wife is done and said with words of kindness and support and compassion that is going to save his marriage. Every time he talks to his wife especially in this chapter but also in the first chapter he says .

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that no matter what you do or say I will always support you.

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You are the most important thing

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what happens to me is not important

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You can say and do whatever you want to and I will always be there because I'm Jesus Christ.

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EXAMPLE

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I told Kathy point blank, "I don't want Peg saying that, or contacting me, if it causes her pain. She can't screw up this mission, Kath! It's the most important thing in her life, and I don't want to intrude upon its joy for her.

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What a fucking retard.

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Every other paragraph we see it somebody -- The husband… the wife's mother… the wife's father…. the wife's sisters …. rehashing what the wife has done and how she shit on her husband… how awful he feels …how its soooooooo unfair … how there is no hope for the marriage…. and nothing happens.

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THE SPACE WALK SCENE

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This is just pathetic. It is badly done and it doesn't make any sense. It comes across as just another way for the author to shit upon the husband character. The wife has been lying about the entire spacewalk and the husband never confronted her about this.

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Even worse is that with the other family members in attendance once again we see the husband saying all these warm loving supporting things to his wife while she is holding the hand of another man and showing signs of deep sexual and emotional intimacy while talking to her husband.

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And of course the wife knows so called marriage is hanging by a thread and is consumed with guilt supposedly.

Everybody else in this room is shocked and stunned by this open betrayal but not the husband. Nope…. He doesn't say a fucking thing -- tells everybody to be supportive of the wife WHY?

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Just an awful story in every possible wa

It turns out this is just elaborate cuck and whore fodder. Disappointing.

and regarding the certain inevitable RECONCILATION that we all NOW is coming keep this in mind from the end of page 4

"Our time apart was not good for me as more and more it felt like she had sold me to get her adventure. When she was making me miserable, she was still happy most of the time. "

bingo.

So WHY would anyone ..man or woman.. WANT to stay married to someone who could do that to somenehey claimed to love.?

I do not understand people who don't like a story continue to read it. They didn't pay for it, or forced to read it, but feel the need to disparage the author. Harry, maybe you should back off a bit. If a fictional story gets you so wound up to think a person should be imprisoned for writing it, you might want to look for other avenues for entertainment.

Way way too much fluff. Really getting tired of wading through pages that should have been cut to paragraphs.

2 stars

I definitely think he is right to stick this out until she gets back just so his own conscience is clear. Whether she physically or emotionally had an affair or not is hardly germane to the problems in their marriage. Once she is safe on the earth would be best for counseling and then a divorce most likely. I do not see reconciliation between these two as possible at all.

Though am curious how the author will end it all.

4 stars. Would have been 5 except the sickly sweetness of the husband being too magnanimous in his words. He was taking the role of a martyr a bit too far in my opinion.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

I guess we'll see what happens in the next chapter!

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Again, CL, I appreciate the efforts you have made to construct your tale around some fairly unique circumstances. But like Gary, I am getting increasingly fearful that this series will degenerate down to a husband unwillingly cucked by his self-centred wife. I sincerely hope that not be the case, but I owe you the courtesy of reading all of the chapters in your story

I enjoy the story, unique storyline, good writing and characters depths. On the improvement side, it is sometimes repetitive and the publication rythm is frustrating. I get that it is not real life and it’s no priority. But it’s the kind of story you want to binge on when you start get into it. And published as a complete story or a chapters at once would be better from my perspective. Thanks for sharing your writing.

You've done an amazing job of making me wholesale Hate the Peggy character. She is so oblivious to what anyone else thinks to the level of Autistic. Which I suppose makes her a Narcissist as insufferable as that is. Her husband is being a martyr for an unworthy cause and it's like watching a slow motion car wreck. He should be mourning her loss and starting to rebuild and move on. With separating entirely from her, her mission be damned he would be saving his emotional state and also resurrecting his career as there would be no more reason for a security breach. While he may never get to be with Kathy cuz she would be a reminder of his pain. I do hope he remains friends with her as she is the lone bright spot in the quagmire that his wife has made of herself.

Up to now, the story seems to indicate pushing Gary and Kathy together. But will it end up that way? Only the author knows this. I think Gary is making the right choices concerning Peggy, the character seems to feel that her safe return is paramount. I have to wonder just how her family would react. Could that be enough for her to lose concentration and die in space as a result? At this stage, the story could go in any direction.

CL , you painted the wife as a cruel, self-absorbed person without ANY redeeming character traits. So there will be only two possible outcomes to this saga. Either he divorces her immediately after return or he lives as an unhappy cuckold ever after while she is frequently visiting her Russian "comrade". Of course resulting in him loosing his security clearance and job.

So why do we have to endure 7 more chapters of self-seeking and angst?

I will still follow this story but the author has gone too far in this chapter. The point has been made and the plot line has been established. There is no need to continue to find a different way of looking at the same problem. First of all, why would the heroine Peggy ignore her husband while in space? She made an overt display of her love for him when she departed for the mission. She no longer has to worry about getting pregnant by him and losing the privilege of flight. Once in flight, as I lived and breathed space when I lived on the space coast for thirty plus years, there is plenty of slack time to correspond and skype with a husband on the ground. Therefore the author has gone down a path of redundency that is unnecessary. The story line is now becoming tedious and uninteresting. It needs to get back on track or people who are following it will drop off with lack of interest. Move the story line along and bring in some new fodder for the story or end it.

In retrospect the logical thing for Gary to do as soon as the high dosage Progesterone was taken by Peggy, was for her to live at the Space Center on NASA land until this whole space thing is over. There is no benefit from him moping around at home while she does her "space" thing.

Much better chapter. Well done!

On board now. Not that my opinion matters lol. I wasn't getting it before, this chapter brought it all together. Thanks for sharing - gb

That's our problem. When our intelligence officers are all such cuckolds and idiots as your protagonist, I'm not surprised why half the world is dancing on our noses! What secret jobs does this idiot want to do for our country if he's not even able to tell his wife clearly where he's no longer playing in the marriage? Instead, he even gives her license to cheat in space! Poorly told story that only ends in one, she makes him a cuckold and he has Kathy as a consolation prize!

He is killing his marriage with this speculation. Just get on with it and bang the sister… is she hot too?

TEDIOUS.

Take away the space scenario and instead play out a selfish business woman singly focused on her career goals to the cost of anyone and everything. The space angle muddies the water trying to make us think she is some type of hero and inserting cuckolding as necessary conditions. It's BS.

Further, the "injections" are supposed to kill her libido, to avoid pregnancy? If the libido is the problem, how about the same for the men; a libido killer with something that prevents sperm production? If these injections are so effective, as Peggy described herself, no feeling, no lubrication, WHY would she be reacting to the other man? Also, such drugs also tend to dull the person's overall energy and focus, making them a bad risk for a space flight.

Then we get to "brilliant" Gary who should know all this. WHY do you want to support a woman who obviously has no use for you? He is NEVER going to have her appreciation for the sacrifices he is making. She won't even recognize most of the things he is feeling, and will treat them as HIS issue and HIS wounded ego. She has already prioritized her own goals over ANYTHING concerning him. She did right from the beginning.

Maybe he wants to feel he gave this his ALL. He is a fool and a sap. He should have just put a pistol to his head and given his "ALL" by killing himself. It wouldn't have made any difference. Peggy has set the rules to the game and there is no way Gary can win or even tie. He is a LOSER. His sacrifices and suffering are to no good purpose. So he can think , "I am a good man."? People who commit suicide, as he is essentially doing, are not "good people", they are delusional fools. Sad but true.

He should move out and start divorce proceedings. She isn't talking to him so she won't even know until she gets back. He doesn't have to wait until she cheats. She has done MORE that enough already for him to dump her. He didn't block her dream. She has gone to space and done her thing. Congratulations. Good bye.

The whining pain through all these chapters is disgusting.

Struggling with this one. Will follow just to see how it ends but Peggy DELIBERATELY disrespects her husband and hides the truth (which is the same as lying). As BigGuy33 has said in his stories, marriage requires love, respect and trust. Lose one and you might survive. Lose two and the marriage is toast. Being willing to take a bullet for Peggy doesn't mean anyone with a modicum of self respect would accept Peggy firing the gun. His patience for this beggars belief. I'm not always a big fan of BTB but there are sometimes when the betrayer needs to feel a significant amount of pain and, indeed, should have their world destroyed as she has done to his.

Continuing to be repetitive. I want to like it but it's difficult. So holding his hand in front of Gary was bad but in front of his whole family was ok. Have divorce papers ever been served in space? Is this all a set up from Russian oligarch Gary wronged in the field? He should leave the wife and start up with Kathy she is clearly in love with him. How many chapters in this story?

Forward one step, backwards row. Progress the plot

How much torture are you going to put this poor man through?

This chapter has much better pacing than previous chapters but we're 4 chapters in and these characters are already beyond boring and they are still very flat.

11 chapters of this is waaaaayyy too many.

Have her served the moment she comes back. Go for maximum embarrassment and maximum pain

I think If I was the hubby, I'd have someway to get her served on the space station with her decree of Divorce for changing clothes in the same room as her russian lover, for holding hands in front of her whole family with her russian lover, and for he gang bangs with all three russians for 6 months and having no sex with hubby for a year. The Hubby sounds like the worst cuckhold ever. He is so weak, he should have left that bitch as soon as he found out she took the wrong meds for birth control. We'll probably find out somewhere that her Russian was there where she was fucking her before they even left. That was why she was so cold to hubby before blast off! This story is as painful as "February Sucks" and "The Bridge" and several others. However the main difference is this writer has a real gift of adding a zillion extra words to read. I have to rate this story with a full 5 stars even tho I hate the bitch wife Peggy and think hubby should have disappeared before she even took off. If you let someone treat you poorly, especially a wife, they will continue to treat you badly until it gets even worse. Hubby is a fool for thinking he can make up with his wife, as she hasn't had ANY respect for him since before Blast off! When a woman looses respect for her man she can't have any love for him either. Hence, wife has no love for husband and will just continue to shit on him until he finally either gets some balls or eats enough shit that he wakes up and leaves. Hubby is just being a loyal cuck, and it isn't likely to change whatever he does.

I wish that Harryin VA would write a story so we can see the way a proper story should be written. It's so easy to criticize from the sidelines, now it's time to step up into the firing line!!

I am still all in, the story itself is quite good. I hope these post daily, I am enjoying the drama.

This story continues to grow with the never ending fears of our grounded agent Gary! I can’t wait to read the next chapter. Great story so far, 5*

There is too much repetition. All 4 chapters could easily fit into one.

Second verse, same as the first. Yawn... This is fast becoming a boring rehashed scene.

Way too drawn out.

Sticking by my prediction. He ends up cheating, not the wife.

It gets disgustingly putrid… chapter by excruciating chapter!! Pse do us a favour and pour the vomit infested wimpy crap all together! It’s easier to go to the last page then and end it for once!!!

Ok…. Chopped liver needs to meet Greg and be his punching bag.

i wont be reading anymore its to long and its full of words the go nowhere just another cuck story

Aaaah ......... methinks the thick plottens!

Next time we should get some zero gravity depravity?

Yep this 11 chapter over statement of a marriage problem is developing into the sh!t show everyone seems to have expected. Only into the 4th chapter and we still aren't through hearing about how Gary loves Peggy to the moon and back but is constantly angsting over Peggy's poor treatment of him. He has been whining to Kathy for chapters and there seems to be no end to it. This is a three act play being told in eleven acts! Get on with it already! Oh, yeah, you already wrote them. Couldn't you at least release them all at once so we could read through this a little faster? It is beginning to be tiresome and I have felt like skipping over paragraphs due to the repetitive and redundant nature of the conversations.

I am not going to be like some of the commenters will hold my thoughts until I have read all chapters. Sure would be nice if the remaining chapter could be posted. I could then read the story faster and not have the delay between chapters.

"Could her love for me survive this?"...So better to skip the net 6 chapters of bullshit and go directly to the final one to answer this question! However after all that happened this marriage is toasted! better make the spaceship explode in space! A widower is better than a cuck!

There is no point complaining. It is a done deal. The author has all the parts written and will publish them, the readers have only that big choice. Read it or don’t.

No reason why one should read this crap and/or comment about it from now on. There are better stories out here to focus on instead of wasting time out here.

Just too stretched out to read. Not in the least bit erotica!

The only thing to look forward to in this sad tale is how he is going to end the life of the guy or guys she fucks around with. I know is is LW, but this is really beyond pathetic.

Took me a while but eventually realised the author is drip feeding us the creation of the ultimate cuckold character, and you can forget about his tortured angst he’s actually loving it being the recipient of this abuse.

This series along with Happy Hollowdays are two of the easiest stories to skim a couple of pages and still be able to understand exactly what’s happening.

Think I’ll just wait now for chapter eleven just to confirm the inevitable acceptance of his life as a cuckold, so far in all four chapters he’s admitted he’ll forgive her because of the situation she’s in, so when she returns knowing she can do no wrong she will be empowered to continue the humiliation. Best of luck cuck.

the story drags on unnecessarily, even if it is well founded in and of itself I don't need to read everything for the 100th time.

Tighter narrative structure would help here

I’ll reserve judgment until I’ve read the last chapter….but I’m fearful of where it’s headed. Gary is over the top in his support while she has discarded him. If she’s fucked around on him in the space station, well, there’s no coming back from that.

He should be long gone when she returns. She does'nt love or respect him.

Way too wordy. The cuck just keeps rattling one sounding stupid.

A man is a cuckold because of what is being done to him. This pathetic loser is completely enabling, inviting, even demanding that Peggy emotionally and mentally fuck him right up the ass, and now do so using Alexi's cock. He's begging for it, and LOVING it. God . . ., it Hurts So GOOD! Yeah, he'll show Jesus what Real suffering looks like. Three days on a cross? Child's play. How about 10 months of betrayal, public humiliation, contempt, disrespect, and maybe worst of all, complete indifference: Oh, are you still there, still pretending that I'm your wife? Didn't you get my notes?

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It started out puzzling, then became pathetic, then ridiculous. Now its just laughable. So many slapstick opportunities. How about the Russians gave her sex enhancement drugs, and they are making videos they plan to sell: "Peggy, The Space Station Bike." Or how about "Lust In Space!" "Peggy Learns What Around The World Really Means."

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What a fucking joke. Thanks for the effort.

I don't wanna sound harsh, but the commentary below from SKHP us spot on. She no longer has redeeming qualities. This chapter cements that. I understand love makes us stupid and sacrificial. But our protagonist took it to the extreme. It's very clear the wife cannot, in her own words, deal with effort if it doesn't immediately reward them. She'll continue to put out zero effort because he makes her feel bad because of loving her so much. She basically admits that he needed to compromise his core beliefs and force her to acknowledge him, or to cut ties with her. I understand you put melodrama in the tags. But this is just torture. It's hard to watch the train wreck unfold. I just want this poor sap to be happy.

Really enjoying it. You tell a good story. I don’t think the wife is overdone. Looking forward to the rest.

why dont you just kill the husband now after all the story has completely taken his balls, hell even Kathy isnt going to want to be with a CUCK whos that much of a CUCK. I'm done this story sucks just a hugh waste of time reading any more wish I hadnt read this much

This is like slow torture. Good God ….don’t these 2 communicate at all? The science with tne in-laws pretty much illustrated how dead this marriage is. Geez…even THEY figured out what a narcissistic bitch their daughter is. And Pegs didn’t tell hubby about tne spacewalk?

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Gary is trying to be the world’s biggest cuck. It’s almost like he’s enjoying it. Damn….. OK…he REALLY loves the bitch, but damn…..

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And hey….but if Pegs is so drugged up with libido suppressing stuff….why would she be interested in a fling with the Russki?

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7 more chapters???

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3 ***

This is a very good story. The wife has done things that are just unforgivable for most people and just continues to do them. She is obviously having an affair with the Russian, as her husband predicted. The husband is already looking weak in the knee's. He is supposedly as strong secret agent type but tells his wife that he loves and supports her after she did not tell him she was having a space walk because she did not want him to see that she was having an affair with the Russian. I hope that he kicks his wife to the curb and this does not turn into a story about a man who will let himself be walked over because he loves a woman who obviously does not love him. I can not see HOW he could take her back after the affair with the Russian.

Peggy clearly wants everything space related and all of her family/friends except her husband.

This stopped being a marriage long before she went into space. He needs to see a lawyer and start the divorce process. There is no amount of counseling that will fix their relationship.

The concept that Peggy hasn't been unfaithful yet is a pretty big stretch

I’ll say this, it’s almost heroic on your part for having the courage to unabashedly rehash your central contention over and over and over again. The number of different ways you use to have your characters retread the exact same ground is nearly awe-inspiring.

Just read there's seven more chapters... OF THIS!? Holy shit how long can you drag this out? I think four chapters

of hand wringing and 'Woe is me' talk is way more than it needed. Anyway, well written or not, I won't be reading any more of this windy tale. I'll probably read the last page of the last chapter and call it done.

Absolutely miserable, tense, and near-fatal.

You've done a good job.

My god, eleven chapters already written? How did you yourself not get sick of essentially writing the same scene dozens of times?

Stop with the good guy sounding noble bullshit. No wonder Peg is having an affair, he’s a pansy ass. A milquetoast. He evokes misery because he is misery.

Hell, I want to punch him in the face.

This chapter seems a rehash, just over and over the same verbal reasoning, with his own mind, with Kathy, with the in-laws. Same rehash. Not sure why.

I think that the person who said that that Kathy is involved with some sort of agreement with Peggy to see to the husband's needs while Peggy gets her needs fulfilled in the space station..... is o

Probably correct. This will explain why peggy is not spending any time talking to her husband in space .

I can’t rate this until the last chapter. The first two chapters were so so but it’s getting better

From a marriage and family counselor perspective, Peg has been having an affair from the first time she indicated any kind of relationship with Gary. She has been cheating on her her true love, her work and space. Gary is the other man.. Gary is her husband only because there is no way to legally marry the job. She has NEVER EVER put him first. She NEVER will put him first. ABSOLUTE GUARANTEE that she will have sexual relations in space because space is her only true love. That is the only way she would come close to consummating her love. This marriage was always going to end in heart break for Gary because he will ALWAYS love her more the she loves him; she will NEVER care as much about Gary as she cares about space!!!! THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN BE FIXED!!!!! GIVE UP ON HER GARY!!!!!

shortened it up some and it reads much better.

So Gary pretty much cut his balls off during the video feed with a dull butter knife. So much for the oh so tough alphabet guy.

-----She was effusive saying he was the key to the success of what she termed "the ultimate memory and thrill of my life."

THIS comment from Peggy pretty much sums up what she think about her husband and her married life. Greg just needs to start removing his stuff from the house and get a lawyer rolling on the divorce. This cake is baked.

Other than throwing you in jail Harry has some very good points.

Gary talks too much. I mean it. He endlessly repeats himself.

Great story and very original. Bit wordy, but the premise is very interesting and I am hooked. LW is awash in paint by number, formula storylines.

Is Peg forever changed by the mission? Does she have the discipline to rebuild her relationship upon return?

Any women who wants to go into space has by goal implied that everything else is secondary. Gary could have taken a FWB and told her to live with it. His sense of honor and love for her prevents that and without that there would be far less tension in the story.

Very good chapeter. 5

I didn’t quite get what the problem was for Gary. Could he repeat it again. Oh wait he did repeat it a thousand times.

Choppedliver put Peg in a jail cell of her own making by chemicals and now the space station. I don’t think birth control meds work that way but it is Chopped’s universe. That is a stretch to believe but ok.

Chopped put Gary in a mental cell that I don’t buy into. Take up a hobby or ten. This story would be more interesting if Gary went out among people. Had social interaction other than Peg’s family and Kathy. Show him interested in other people of both sexes and have him battle attraction and lust. After a month he would be really horny. Now after all this time he should be panting. That may tarnish the super hero image Chopped is going for but it would be more interesting to me. Last time I looked Literotica advertised itself as erotic fiction not Modern Psychology.

Could you repeat the first few chapters in case some readers did not catch that Gary was upset and why he was upset?

You are beating a dead horse. Get on with the story. There are only so many ways and angles to see this situation. Trudge on through with it.

So is she fucking the russian guy or not?

I think in this chapter I lost respect for the MC, it's obvious his wife has moved on, yet he lingers "for the sake of the mission", author is just dragging it out, lost interest now

Apparently her dad, the Marine, is the only one with a set of balls left. He wasn't going to put up with his daughter's shit until her "tough guy" husband jumped in and handed Peggy his balls or what was left of them. I see Peggy having a very strained relationship with her dad going forward. Semper Fi!!

I’m trying to stay with this story but it’s getting difficult. I’m not liking any of the characters in this story

What a fucking wuss!! He should have stood down an let her dad rip them a new ass. But no cuck boy jumped right in like a good cuck boy and kissed her ass and sucked Alexis's cum out of her cunt. God I hate wimps like him.

End this crap BTB and move on with your life.

So in this chapter I think I learned that she is not communicating much at all and after a successful space walk she hugged her "coworker" and held that coworkers hand. That's about it, right?

I can totally understand the hug, I don't like the handholding and in my business world for over 40 years never saw that but not sure I would get all pissy about it.

I would have taken the time to write her or whatever they do for astronauts and ask why no communication and at that moment I would have asked why I am just learning of it. Screw messing up her day.

Bottom line to me is regardless of love these two are no where's near being on the same list. Like many others in the world you fell in love with the wrong person. Divorce. Not just because of this alleged or planned cheating that may or may not take place. They are just very different people. Maybe years from now when she retires from space they can get back together.

Holy bat shit Batman!! This author has to be a blood relative of Curlviagurl. Cgurl and this author are the only ones to drag a poor husband through miles and miles and miles of cactus, rattlesnakes, molten lava, and rocks before having him take the bitch back and live as an eunuch for evermore. And we know Greg is going to take her back. That's as plain as a freight train coming at us at 100 MPH.

Well written but the story is too long, dragging it out.

my nitpick is: how is she so affectionate with another man but had zero feelings for her husband? I mean, shouldn't the chemicals work for everyone?

And why was the Russian still holding her hand while she's talking to her family? that made no sense to do, unless you're TRYING to show infidelity to the world, literally.

I'm sorry, but Gary is shown to be an idiot. Three chapters of him being a supportive husband as his wife just takes advantage of him. Getting worse with each chapter.

The monologuing is killing this for me. I think the premise is great, and I'm hoping I have the stamina to make it through all the chapters. Eleven, you stated? I hope the remaining seven give up the dead horse flogging.

I finally figured out one of the problems I have with the dialogue in these. In addition to being completely redundant, and in some cases cut-and-pasted from a previous section of dialogue (which is really jarring), the dialogue doesn't feel like dialogue. It feels like thematic and emotional exposition which makes these scenes feel like too much tell and not any show.

And the fact that these repeat scene-after-scene, chapter-after-chapter, just makes it, as someone earlier wrote, tedious.

I like your story, don't get me wrong... But, this is painful, tiring, repetitive... I think this is how snowflakes must live their lives... Endlessly examining and dissecting every aspect of every spoken word or action... I'm hooked, but have to skirt most of each paragraph just to get to any action...

I really hope he doesn't take her back when she lands. She's a horrible person and doesn't deserve him. He should greet her with divorce papers. I'd rather see him get with Kathy.

It's painful and repetitive most of the time at this point, but I admire what you're trying to do. If you ever want to learn how to draw readers in and immerse them in a character's psyche, read some of Carvohi's stuff. 4*

There is a great story here, but it's taking 2 to 3 times the dialogue to achieve it that it should.

Disappointing and hard going.

So much repetition. Same paragraph almost, 3 to 4 times with minor changes.

Don't like what you are doing to the husband at all. He is not a long suffering saint, he is a spineless wimp who should have just toasted her before the flight. You have him worrying about what that would have done to her self confidence but he way you have written her, I don't think she would have even noticed. He was probably put on a desk in his workplace because over time she castrated him and made him useless. She probably didn't even take the chemical shot, just an excuse to get away from the wimp. He's supposed to have all of this juice with the government, let him use it. She needs to have an accidental divorce tape showing her with the other crew. Getting to like the story less as his simpering increases.

There is nothing worse than a man winning. And this story was one long winn-athon. No wonder why she didn't want to fuck him. "Oh, poor me..." John Wayne is turning in his grave.

Degenerating into just plain verbal diarrhea. 'I'm going to say goodbye now, honey, after I say another 2 thousand words, and then repeat it.' Words that are needed to help this author stretch this out to an interminable 11 chapters. Yes, I'm still here, but skimming most of it and not missing a darn thing.

Skimmed through it again, a lot of dialogue to get through that repeats itself. The concept of this tale is very good and thought provoking. The only concern I have is how quickly you are making our hero character into a very unsympathetic character. The long verbose, self flagellation sessions just seem unnecessary.

I am not sure why it is necessary, it's almost like you do not believe your reader's can understand the point you are making in your story. So you drive the point home multiple times in every chapter. I don't really mind per ce', but it turns the story from a heart string tugging thought provoking story....into a grind instead.

Just something to consider Mr. liver. You write well generally speaking, and I hope you write more.

4 stars.

I think CL missed a promising career as a soap opera writer. You know, the serial stories that you can miss multiple episodes of and still be caught up within three minutes when you eventually tune back in. The keys to this form are (a) little actual action, (b) characters who are caricatures of actual persons (like the personas in professional "wrasslin'"), and (c) excessive repetition of thouts/facts/events. Thus far, this one checks all the boxes!

So the next thing will be she vomits a few times after waking from sleep. No, definitely not space nausea, but a simple case of morning sickness.

Oh dear, Sergei's little swimmers seem to have triumphed over medical science and zero gravity, and have boldly travelled to a prohibited zone where NASA didn't want them to go (or did NASA really want to experiment with this all along?).

Whatever will mum and dad think when they find out they are going to be grandparents?

This is so awful it almost hurts

I can't wait for the mass of physiological diarrhea that's going to be heaped upon us to justify this RAAC. Hopefully I'm wrong and Greg finds his balls and BTB. The way Peggy has treated him is totally inexcusable. Time and 7 more chapters will tell. I will commend the author for something a little different and well written. Ready to slug it out for 7 more chapters.

dump her ass

Really??? You have to drag this on and on and on and on. This is the fucking energizer bunny of self-loathing. This clown has no balls nor spine and we have to keep hearing him pathetically drone on about how strong he is going to be for her? Most guys who find a strange car in the driveway kick some serious ass and throw the cheating skank slut to the curb. He sees his wife in space just after fucking her Russian lover and he wishes her well? You may think your building support for such a poor abused guy, but you're making most of us hate him as much as we hate her. Please let a meteor hit the space craft and fry her ass so we can be done with this!