All Comments on 'Splashdown Ch. 05'

You write well except for a strong tendency towards meaningless repetition. I’d like to know what happens, but I cringe a bit as I’ve read your other stories.

5 stars from me by my criteria - you made me feel like commenting.

First, I appreciate your efforts here. Writing is work. And I am interested in seeing how you end it.

But like a lot of others I now find myself skimming thru a whole lot of the story. Just too many words that really don't mean anything (to me.)

I also just don't think either character is acting the least bit rationally. He should have left her as soon as it became apparent just having him around was making her increasingly unhappy! Hey, life IS too short. It would have been easier for her - as YOU wrote the story. And he could have gone back to work and also started looking for a woman worth having a relationship with. After she finally came back to Earth (in every sense of the word) he could start dating her again if he wanted to. And if she wanted to. She is a good FWB candidate - but a terrible wife as now amply illustrated.

Looks like recovery time from a abortion.

What is missing in this chapter (IMHO) is a brief series of communications between Sweetie and Hubby. There is, in some fairness, Sweetie2 was a (filtering) relay between them. At least regarding Sweetie2 representing her opinion on Sweetie’s treatment of Hubby, and then the implications she gathered from that with Hubby.

Hanky-panky in the ISS is probably next to impossible to keep discreet. As I understand it, the occupants’ vital signs are constantly sent (and monitored and recorded) to one or more of the occupants’ Space Agency. I believe there was one married couple on one mission, and they could have arranged some privacy and also depend on the discretion of the SA monitors.

I like a good *earned* reconciliation, but am having a very hard time figuring out a way for them to get there. The best case for such is that Peg really does love Gary but is in some toxic guilt-death-spiral over what she's done to him. Every time she sees him, contacts him, thinks about him, the guilt gets worse and her response is to just shut him out, and pull further away, Making her guilt even worse, etc. etc. etc. When she comes back, she has a chance to move past her now ex-love (space), and they begin to move forward.

By way, Gary's little rant after the space walk didn't help. It was the height of passive aggression and about as subtle as an atomic bomb. If she's riding the guilt-cycle, he just lit the turbo charger which would also explain why despite his, and Kathy's (and probably her family's) entreaties - virtually begging in his case - she *still* doesn't seem to be contacting him.

Of course, that doesn't deal with the issue of her not contacting him (or anyone, including NASA?????) upon return. There's no realistic explanation for this, not just in a RAAC setting but any. She's defecting?? She's a Russian plant??? Those are absurd directions, and I hope you aren't taking the story that way; it would trivialize what is at the heart a pretty good tale. She's having a weeklong fuck-fest? Nope, she's in no physical shape to do that immediately upon landing after 6 months in zero g. That would also hold if she was back with Gary, of course, but they could at least share some intimacy. An abortion? Nope there as well, I think it was pretty well established that she would not, could not have sex onboard even if she was interested, certainly not without the world knowing.

Nope, a quick shave with Occam's razor and it looks like the most realistic scenario for a reconciliation is that they go back to what they had before Peg got on the flight list. Great sex, sure, but this time Gary knows that he'll always be number 2 in her heart, that her eyes will light up when she's talking about space, but never when he walks into the room. That when she's distracted and gazing off into the distance, she's thinking about her time with her "true love" and not about him. That even when she takes her last breath, he won't be on the top-10 list of her most meaningful memories. Basically, he'll be a beloved dog to her, well, a favored pet who gets great sex. He needs to decide if that's worth giving his heart, soul and life. Yeah, I love a good reconciliation but if I were facing that as my *best case* scenario? I'd walk away.

You have a pretty compelling story here, though as others have mentioned it's covered by an excess of repetition. But I'm hooked and will stay till the end, well, unless it takes one of those absurd Russian plot twists.

Interesting take that Peg might be recovering from an abortion....how about this, what if she and the Russian had sex, she got pregnant, and they are using stalling tactics until she has the kid? My second possibility is that the Russians are trying to apply pressure on operative Gary for his past military misdemeanors, maybe someone's paid them to hijack Peg

None of this chaotic mess really makes any sense. Many believe Peg is pregnant but nasa doped her with 6 months of injected birth control plus doped her with a hormonal cocktail that eliminates any sex drive whatsoever. We were also told that coming off those drugs would take months after the flight.

Then we have the deux ex machina entrance of the couple at the remote dasha for the week that also utterly violates common sense as related by the story logic line. Thus the entire tale collapses into a random chaotic mess of Swiss cheese level plot holes. That coupled with the tortuous navel inspection writ large reduces an interesting plot idea to a really wordy melodrama. All I can say, is Please shoot me I can’t take anymore of this…

Do you have a Patreon or something you post this ahead of time?

What's the point of this many chapters with cliffhangers if not trying to milk money?

Shit or get off the pot.

It's obvious she's fucking pregnant and that was the experiment she had planned this whole time. You didn't need to write a whole fucking book about it. If you did, post it as a damned e book. Hopefully I've saved people time on having to read this whiny excuse of "literature".

@Schwanze1 - I would have to question your definition of "intelligent people" as this story was clearly written for people who feel rather than think.

PEGGY WANTED TO BE ALONE WITH ALEXI TO FUCK HIM.... just like I predicted

Some might say long and drawn out but I say it is a successful style that invites one to get involved in all the characters. The suspense continues and each chapter is a cliff hanger, some stronger than others. I would have read every chapter in one sitting if it had all been available at once but the time in between the posting of chapters grates upon me. I look forward to the rest of your story. Thank you.

It does not matter how much this author tries this story simply not going to work out because we all know in the end that no matter what Peggy has. Done he will take her back.

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At the end of the story we know that she is not being Is quarantine. She is not at medical facility.

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She is Under her own free will staying with another man at a private location or small house.

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WHY? Peggy is in love with Alexi and or pregnant.

Or she has defected.

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But what kills this turd of a story is that Gary. Aka the new Jesus christ.... It's a analyst and intelligence officer who can figure out and deduce everyone's motivations about anything.... but noy his wife.

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AGAIN. .... RECONCILIATION ALL BUT CERTAIN

Gary should cut his losses now. He should find the best divorce lawyer in Brevard County post haste. The mission to space has ended. There is no national interest or patriotic reason to prolong this charade any longer. Why stick around for another round of abuse. Next, we will learn that Peggy was the first woman to conceive a child while orbiting the Earth. Gary must rid himself of this evil Harpy as soon as possible. Let her rot in Russia!

It's only a story but the time alone after the space walk and the holding of hand's would it my opinion be btb time

She ain't worth it!

Are there eleven chapters. I’ll wait for the last page of last chapter to see the wreckage. Yawn. Few people watch space flight events or care about astronauts for a reason.

She has been knocked up?

This childish, immature human being, the husband, absolutely needs a mommy (Kathy) and a daddy (his father-in-law) that take care of him. He is totally unable to care of himself and even less of his wife or an unlikely future family. Besides, here the bad guy is not the space lover, but the extremely idiot husband, unable to defend his wife, before and after her leave. The space lover is not the bad guy at all, since he is not raping the candid innocent wife, she was and is totally willing to do whatever she want. The real bad character in this story is one, and only one: the b1tch dissociative-minded wife. The husband is just a weak shadow of a man.

Keep going. Get the next parts out ASAP.

An anonymous feedback contributor shared his/her thoughts near to the end of the comments section of chapter 4. He/she reasoned that Gary was not a wimp but a very disciplined man. It's worth reading as he/she makes a valid point.

I tend to agree that Gary has remained consistent to the statements/promises he made to both Peggy and Kathy in earlier chapters. He wasn't going to say or do anything to muck up her mission or jeopardize her safety until she was safely back on Earth. This shows he has an iron will, an impeccable strength of character and a massive set of 'cojones'. He doesn't need to grow a pair, as he already had huge ones.

Reading through previous chapters you will see that he has been trying to protect her until she returns safely to him. He wasn't worried about the physical return to Earth, just that she came back to him. Previous chapters have already spoken of the possibility of her forming an emotional relationship with a fellow astronaut, which she undoubtedly has, so the current scenario is hardly a surprise. As for the Russians, they now have had their 'dream propaganda coup' gifted to them and dropped right in their laps by a loved up American astronaut, who is not only very beautiful but incidentally very married, requesting some time back on Earth to fully consumate their love affair (if they hadn't already been going hard at it whilst in space). All the Russian PR machine had to do was to make a love nest available for the cosmic lovers to fornicate like rabbits (no doubt every room in the little house is fully wired for audio/visual), then release it 'accidentally' on the world media stage to the total embarrassment of NASA and the US government.

It is now timely to "Cry Gary, and let loose the Dogs of War". (Apologies to Will Shakespeare by the way).

Bazza

Please tell us there aren't 6 more agonizing chapters of this way-too-slowly-unfolding soap opera?

Apparently going for the record for longest cuck story. Making George Anderson look good....

This seems more and more like a giant sick cheating/cuck story, hidden under the coverup of a sexual space experiment and an endless amount of distraction psycho-dialogues. This story is totally unbelievable for many reasons, first of all the behaviour of the two main characters: the wife act like an immature teenager and the husband like a six year old kid that always needs his mommy tell him what to do. About the sexual space experiment, the unavoidable outcome of a space bastard baby, will certainly enough make the husband really happy, happy for his lovely wife of course. What a wonderful and generous (but absolutely unbelievable) guy.

I like this story, but skipped to the first sentence of every other paragraph on the first 3 pages since it was so the same basic info, but in different wording. Page 4 was more like it. Information was to the point and not watered down.

NASA and the Ruasian Space Agency are in cahoots. Peggy's primary experiment was to get knocked up by an astronaut while in space, and observe child's early development in weightlessness. That's why every precaution was taken to keep her from getting pregnant before she lifted off. She sacrificed her marriage to become first woman knocked up in space. The question is did Karhy know all along? All sorts of people will need to pay for this betrayal.

if he finds out everyone was in on it. Go nuclear and destroy everybody

Dear God this is boring. Rinse and repeat with every character sounding like they have either teenaged angst or deep seated mental/emotional problems.

Please delete a few chapters and end this bloated waste of words.

There are people with basic reading comprehension. There are people who are low IQ and have almost no reading comprehension. The first group have written insightful comments about the glaring ridiculousness of this story's plot and characters. The second group writes effusive comments lauding the story. Neither group can understand the other. The first group stands in bewilderment as to how anyone could enjoy this healing mess of repetitive, over-emotional, self-contradicting crap. The second group lacks the mental ability and reading skills to realize how bad the story is. At this point, I feel like reading this story is like watching those massive winter highway pileups. You watch because you can't believe the sheer horror is mesmerizing.

Wow your male character is a mess. He has no life or thoughts except how much he loves the woman who is treating him like shit. He didn't need to do anything but let his nuts drop back down out of his stomach and cancel the female hormone shots you have him taking. All he can do is talk in circles like a teenaged girl with a crush on a rock star. He doesn't need Kathy, she's part of the same thing. He threatened to bring down the wrath of God on the NASA boys then just mildly folded his hands and let the estrogen seep out of everyone of his pores He needs to get sent in to Russia with his team and take them all out, then go to the "managers" at NASA and explain their importance is the scheme of things. Not to happy with any of the characters or the direction of the story line. No score from me until you meander around to some kind of conclusion/ending.

So NASA gave Gary the name of the cosmonaut who landed with Peggy. But Gary does NOT share that name with the reader. I feel a bit short-sheeted. Was it Alexi? That seems like an important detail that somehow got lost in the shuffle.

I read the first sentence of every paragraph just to catch up. It takes me about 5 minutes to get through it. Reading this is like listening to a group of teenage girls trying to tell a story. Just my 2 cents worth

“Gary, we know where she is at least. We have some satellites that have imaged her. It appears there are two of them mostly alone in an old structure like a small house or cottage that is outside the main fence of the nearby military base. It's like that base was built in the middle of a meadow of farm field.”

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It is patently RIDICULOUS that NASA would not have a fairly large number of their own people at the landing site AND the debriefing location. Your plot device of having not a single NASA person on the ground to greet Pegs upon landing is beyond contrived —- beyond lame — it’s STUPID!

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Sigh……

It's a really good story in concept. Just being up unnecessarily drawn out by constantly rehashing details. The hand hold incident should have been mentioned once or twice and then that was it. It's not adding to the story at all. And another person makes a good pont...he gets the name of the cosmonaut but you purposely do not share with the reader. Why? This should have been a 5 or 6 chapter series at most. You're a decent writer but brevity sometimes is the soul of wit. If you have any control over the unpublished chapters, take them back, remove the filler and get this thing wrapped up.

I have been sticking with this story and enjoying it for the most part, but Peggy staying in Russia? If it is what is implied, that is completely fairy tale territory. There is no way that ever happens in the real world.

For the love of God, just post the rest of the chapters. No reason to draw this thing out weeks if you have it all completed.

Peggy's dad is cool! If towns and villages are burned because of the adultery of a daughter, then bearing in mind the nationalities of insidious seducers that often appear in other stories, there should already be a scorched desert in place of France, Italy and Spain.

There is no way that the US would leave their astronaut in Russian hands like that without being all over it.

The security issues alone would ensure that she could not be held as it is being written. She and her knowledge belong to the US government totally and there would be iron clad rules for the prompt return of that property. There is (so far) no mention of the libido killing drugs wearing off now that they are back - especially after they were supposed to weaken whilst the flight was in the latter stages. You would think that such a paranoid analyst - not to mention a fervent cuckold in wanting (yes wanting not waiting) like Gary would be all over that by now. I think that it will become known that the original delay in getting changed after their spacewalk was because she was getting a Russian protein shake before the teleconference. Her mouth still works so she probably has been played for 'a sucker' by all three Russians for around the last 4 months and now she and Alexei are getting the rest of the plumbing back in working order. The remaining and mostly unnecessary chapters will dilute what could have been a classic to just a humdrum, pile of excess verbage. perhaps the author should limit himself to develop storylines and plots for others as he seems to have a rare talent in that regard however the present offering is just a wordy monument to self absorption on the part of the author

I can't see Gary wanting to stay married to Peg. Every action Peg has taken has been to advance her standing to be a female astronaut and nothing about her marriage or personal life will stop her from getting that position. Why she is playing games in the Russian tundra will have to be revealed in the next chapter but by then Gary may had decided that he has had enough and finds Kathy offers a better choice as he looks for a lover and a friend to move on with his career. Hey, maybe they will let him be a planner again when he realizes that all he has been doing is reacting to the needs of his wife.

Cagivagurl - I'm sorry for complaining about your wimpy male main characters - they are all Rambo compared to the wimp in this story.

Do you mean to say that when an American astronaut lands, there is not a single NASA representative in Russia? Bullshit! There's a whole crowd of American specialists from various fields of science and technology hanging around. And the American medical staff would be there, without a doubt. Why are space flights so expensive? Because a lot of people are involved around the project on an ongoing basis in case "if something goes wrong" and "whatever happens".

A very logical solution at this stage could be that she became pregnant whilst in orbit, possibly a few weeks before re-entry. The pressures of experiencing the deceleration and touchdown could easily have caused her to have a miscarriage soon after landing, so after a quick D&C at the local army base medical centre, she is left to enjoy Sergei's company for a few days to help recover in the arms of her supportive lover. This will support the inability to endure a three hour drive to the nearest airport (although a helicopter ride would be the obvious solution). I think the next stage will be she returns home to face the music with a compulsory 'please explain' placard in front of her.

I find it worthwhile to wade thru the verbiage as the underlying story is crackerjack! So many ways this could go. I am disappointed that new chapters are not posting every day, there was a 2 or 3 day delay in posting this chapter after Chapt 4. Pls post them all consecutively, dont worry about editing them now, we the readers are self editing as we read. I have to know what is going on iwht Kathy, you are doing a good job leaving us with cliffhangers.

Please, Please Please, Hurry. i've been reading from the beginning, I can't take it anymore. Please hurry with the next chapters. This is torture. Why has this wife been such a cold hearted bitch?? I've got to know! Please hurry with the rest of the chapters, please hurry. Is Peggy preg by the Russian?? she seems to be having a love affair in their little love bungalow. How could this happen? How could she do her hubby that way.??? Why is she doing all these terrible things to hubby?? Is it just a thrill to be a super bitch? If she dont want hubby let Kathy have him. She would love to have him. please hurry. I can't stand the wait. 10 months hubby has waited without sex. Why? Cuz it is easier than just telling hubby she wants a divorce??

Oh no!

My wife is a space whore!

Yes, there are lots of negative comments about this story, but I believe this level of vitriol could have been lessened by posting all of the chapters in one go. The frustration for us readers in having to wait a day or two between installments has only added more fuel to the fire of negativity.

FOR FUCKS SAKE POST THE REST WITHOUT DELAY!!!

This story is sitting around 4* right now. How the fuck could anyone give this trash anything more than 3*. A lot of people here are fucking easily entertained!!!!!!!

There is no way Gary would have ever made it through the psych evals to be in any agency.

Much better.

This was a much better story. More interaction and not so much of a diatribe.

Gary is still too holier than though for my liking. Peggy is just fine. She has made some mistakes sure but nothing that can’t be overcome. She is excited about her space mission. Who wouldn’t be. And even if she is more excited about that than her marriage it is her job, only temporary in nature, so what is the big deal?

Kathy is making a big mistake. She needs to back off once she realizes her feelings. That that she was a stand up friend but she is just selfish and can no longer be trusted.

The evaluation of the story doesn't depend on the publication of its parts every 2 days, but on its content. There are many stories that are published in parts every 3-4 months and are well appreciated regardless.

Great cliffhanger! Each chapter reads better than the last. 5.

Less drawn out than prior chapters, but this still requires skimming to be readable.

Saint Gary. The poor suffering cuck. Peggy - an enigma. We go from the space walk drama to no insight to what is happening up there. And yeah Kate and Gary getting together is obvious. Won’t Gary be sorry he wasted his time with Peg when he finds out his wife was cheating on him and she is now pregnant. No I guess Gary the sap will take her back in RAAC style.

Probably not defecting. More likely having an abortion, then healing enough not to give it away upon returning.

Every chapter just raises more and more questions.