Stay

He ducked through the door and went outside and I heard him speaking softly to his horse as he tied him off. He came back in and secured a sliding wooden lock up top above the door, as well as the bar across the middle. I wouldn't be able to open it unless I managed to move the bench that was probably as heavy as Olin was, as thick as it was. It wasn't meant to be moved.

He turned to me and looked me over, crossing his arms and looking dark. He was up to something. I crossed my arms and looked back at him, silently daring him. He snorted and grabbed me pushing me to the small bed.

"Take the dress off," he demanded, starting to pull his own clothes off.

"I don't have my gown and there is no room in this bed."

"I said nothing about a gown. Take the dress off or lose the dress forever and have nothing tomorrow."

I pulled the dress off and hugged myself as I turned my back to him. His hand on my shoulder pushed me to the small bed and I went to my knees on it, facing the wall. He sat down next to me and took hold of me around the waist, pulling me almost to his lap as he laid down, holding me against him so I was laying half on top of him. He held me there as I trembled, my hands against his chest trying to put distance between us.

"What do you want from me?" I demanded, trying to push off of him.

He made a noise and got up, blowing out the candle before getting back into bed. He rolled me to my side and laid behind me, pressing me hard against the wall and squishing me between him and the wall.

"Sleep," he demanded.

I sighed, trying to squirm and make some room, but his hand gripped my thigh and squeezed until I went still. I was uncomfortable and too close and his anger was stifling. He was trying to suffocate me with it.

An hour later we were both still awake and my shoulder was aching from the uncomfortably hard bed. I shifted again and tried to turn, but his hands took hold of me and pressed me into the wall hard as he lifted his head to look over my shoulder at me.

"You will be still and sleep!" he grated.

"I cannot sleep like this!" I yelled back, trying to wriggle out of his grip.

I felt his manhood thicken against my leg and I went still, holding my breath as it got hard and pressed into my thigh. I froze completely as he shifted, leaning over me and pressing it against me harder, rubbing it on my thigh as he moved.

"I'll be still!" I breathed as he moved enough to roll me to my back. "I'll go to sleep!"

"I will put you to sleep again," he whispered harshly, shoving my legs apart.

"Don't, Olin! Please!"

"No more speaking," he said roughly, putting a hand over my mouth and putting his face in mine. "No more speaking. You will not speak to me until you tell me you wish to stay. Do not speak unless that is your wish. Speaking means staying. Not a sound."

He pulled back and let my mouth go, then shoved my legs apart again as I let out a cry of fear. I clenched my teeth to keep from speaking or begging and he rolled me to my stomach as he pulled me half off the bed to bend me over it. I buried my face in the stale old mattress and screamed wordlessly in rage and anguish as he touched me between the legs again. He fumbled at first, then his fingers moved as if searching for something. He found his mark when he grazed my nub and my body twitched. He went over the spot again and again as I started squirming for a different reason. He moved his fingers back through my slit and it was slick with need, waiting for him. I didn't even care that I should have been ashamed of that, my body was its own beast as his fingers moved over me.

He pulled his hand away and I closed my eyes in both relief and regret, but they sprang open seconds later when he pressed his cock to my slit. He did not wait or say anything, he just pushed in with a grunt, then grabbed my hips and began ramming into me. My gasp turned into a wail, then high pitched mewling with every thrust as I gripped the side of the bed.

When the glow started again, I embraced it more quickly, letting it take over and focusing on it alone. The full, warm, throbbing glow, growing inside me and rising up, it swept me over the edge this time, not like shattering glass, but like water spilling over the edge of a bowl that has been upset. It spilled out in a huge wave and crashed down, spreading all through me in a warm current that left me rigid and trembling and screaming in ecstasy. The current rolled away and there was nothing but darkness and a deep satisfaction for a moment, then I felt something new. It was its own euphoria, thick and solid inside me, throbbing and filling me with scalding hot warmth. I sighed as it eased and ebbed, sad to feel it growing less, then let the darkness come.

I felt movement, but it seemed far away, and the hands were gentle and warm.

I slept.

Banging woke me and I jumped. I was in Olins arms on the small bed, his back was to the wall and I was on my side, facing him. He was holding me tight against him.

"A moment!" he called to the door. Someone had knocked. "Get dressed," he said to me, more quietly. He released his hold, but kept hands on me until I was standing so I wouldn't fall off the bed. I pulled my dress on quickly as he got up and pulled his pants on. He opened the door before grabbing his shirt to pull on.

It was Handir and three men and they had bundles and crates with them. He set the things down without a word, hugged Olin, then left without ever looking at me.

I opened my mouth to ask what was happening and Olin looked at me expectantly. I snapped my mouth shut and glared at him.

He opened the bundles and handed me my gown and started throwing our blankets and pillows on the tiny bed. There was food, dishes, things to clean with, candles... things that indicated he intended to stay out here with me for a while.

I glared at him and he ignored me, so I ignored him as I opened the two small windows and the door to air the place out. The horse was gone, his father must have taken it back to the stables. We were well and truly alone out here and I had no idea how to get back to the village. I was stuck until he decided we could leave.

I cleaned out the little house while he used the tools in another crate to repair bad spots in the walls and roof. I made an outdoor firepit to cook at so the small house wouldn't get too warm. When it got cold, it would be fine, but just now it was too warm to have a fire inside in that small space.

Olin brought a bow out, stringing it at the door before walking away into the woods by himself. I watched him go, but said nothing as I kept cleaning and working. There was a creek close enough to hear and it was easy to haul water up to wash the dishes and scrub the place down. I tried to air out the old mattress, then decided I was going to help the padding under it by putting down some fresh pine boughs. It smelled much better after.

I was hauling the mattress back in when he came back with a rabbit and two pheasants. He sat outside and plucked and skinned them before handing them off to me, never saying a word. I cooked dinner and we ate quietly, him not even looking at me. That night, he didn't wait. As soon as he blew out the candle, he bent me over the bed and pulled my gown up, touching me until I was ready for him, then sending me into oblivion.

I woke up in his arms again, trying to remember more than just the euphoria, but it escaped me.

I made breakfast, lost in thought and he surprised me after breakfast by taking hold of my face and kissing me before he left. I watched him leave, perplexed.

I spent the day foraging and having a look around the woods close to the little shack, then sitting and weaving a fishing net all afternoon to put in the creek. That evening he came back with something that looked like a squirrel with no tail and skinned it. As I was cooking, he looked over the fishing net, then carried it off down to the creek without a word. He did come back with a bucket of water.

He kissed me again after dinner and I was too surprised to pull away, but I promised myself I wouldn't be taken off guard next time.

I was, though, when he bent me over the bed and put his fingers on my bud, then pulled my head back and turned me, forcing a kiss on me as he touched me and brought pleasure up in me. I lost myself completely.

The next morning when he stirred I grumbled and patted his chest, wanting just a few more minutes. He went still and held me, letting me sleep until I jerked awake. I let the tension slide away and lay there for a moment, enjoying the peace of the morning. I could hear birds, and the creek and I was comfortable. It was pleasant in its simplicity.

Olin moved, sitting up to make room for me to lay in the bed as he climbed over me. He paused, hovering, then leaned in and kissed me again. He lingered, then kissed me again and again. I didn't pull away, but I didn't kiss him back either.

He would do as he would to my body, I knew that. He would not get me though. I would show him that I was more than that. He could possess my body, but he would never truly have me.

I turned away from him when he pulled back to look down at me, looking at the wall blankly. He got up and left out the front door as he pulled his pants on.

The days began passing slowly. He would leave most days, hunting or fishing and I would stay close and cook or grind some of the wheat that was sent. One of the hundred little things that always seemed to need doing.

The first time I washed in the creek, I assumed he was gone for the day hunting, then found him sitting and watching me. The second time, I waited and watched, making sure he left before I went down to wash in the creek. He joined me in the water, then laid me on the bank and took me right there out in the open. I knew then that it didn't matter when I did it, he was always watching me.

As it got colder, I heated water to wash in and he found that amusing as he continued to go down to the creek. More of his time was spent chopping wood as it got colder and he stayed closer to the shack, making me irritable as heck with no time to myself. He even chased off the tailless squirrel I was taming to eat out of my hand which had sent me into a fury as I thwarted his shot with the bow. I snapped every one of his arrows, causing him to have to make new ones as he glared at me.

We never spoke, it had become a huge thing between us, seeing who was going to break the silence first.

When the days got colder and colder, I considered it. Considered asking him to relent and take us back to the huge longhouse where it was always warm inside. Instead I bundled up and wore layers and snuggled under the blankets when I could.

When the snow started falling, it seemed like it was never going to stop. Even he looked worried when it reached as high as the windows and was still coming. He closed them up tight and used one of the crates to keep clearing a path in front of the door so he could get in and out. He filled the shack with wood, leaving only enough room to get from the bed to the stove, after moving the bed off the wall and lining the wall with a stack of wood.

We only had the bed to sit on and a small square to stand in and both of our tempers ran hot as the days passed.

No matter how angry he got, he never once failed to go through with his nightly tradition of taking me. I didn't fight it now, helping him find his way in the layers of clothes. It was a pleasure I allowed myself, that he was doing it didn't matter. He was secondary and apart.

I convinced myself of that as I lay blissed out in his arms every night, and sometimes during the day.

The snow eased up for a while and he was able to leave again, but never for very long. After a couple of weeks of clear weather, the snow started again and it seemed worse, the wind making the shack tremble and creek. The cold was bitter and the small stove didn't seem to keep the cold at bay nearly enough. We stayed curled in bed together, keeping each other warm. He started filling our time with kissing, a lot of it and I let him since it warmed our blood so much. Even when it led to pulling each other's clothes off under the blankets. That was how we discovered skin to skin seemed much warmer and we stayed that way.

It should have been a week of hell, but when someone pounded at the door, I felt disappointment well up. I knew Handir was there to take us back, the weather was too much now. I closed my eyes and wished for just one more day as he pulled his clothes on under the blankets. I sighed and started pulling mine on as well.

The ride back was slow and cold, I stayed bundled under the blankets in his arms, my face pressed to his chest as the wind seemed to want to rip through both of us. I was facing him, my arms and legs both wrapped around him and covered in every blanket we had. I was starting to stress and worry about him since I knew his face was out in it and at least one of his hands was too. I reached up and cupped my palms over his frozen cheeks and mouth, the single blanket he had draped over all but his eyes not doing him much good. He kissed my palm and pressed his cheek harder into my hand and I held them there as long as I could, until my own fingers were numb with cold. I pulled them in to tuck in my armpits as I shivered and his arm tightened around me.

I felt disoriented as we stopped moving and then I was falling off the horse.

No... Olin was carrying me and I felt it the moment the wind stopped and we were inside. Handir's loud, booming voice called out, "We got them both home safe!"

Olin eased me down and I tried to fight my way out of the blankets, letting him help me as he grinned. His cheeks were wind chapped and frozen and I reached up again to warm them. He grabbed my hands and kissed them, then pulled me to the huge fireplace and I laughed.

Honnah hugged him and kissed his cheeks, then hugged me as well. She turned back to Olin. "That was foolish! So much trouble for a temper! You could have frozen out there in this!"

"We stayed warm," Olin said, still smiling and it felt odd to hear his voice after all this time.

"Both of you! Strip down and to the bathing chamber, we have hot baths ready," she said, leading us to the side room with the wooden tubs.

I was no longer shy at all about undressing in front of Olin, but he ushered his mother out before he started pulling his own clothes off. I practically leapt into the water and dropped down into it, then closed my eyes and let the warmth seep into me.

Two older women came in and started scrubbing on both of us and rinsing my hair and scrubbing it. Honnah came back in and sat down on a bench facing me with her back to Olin.

"Tell me about your time out there," she said, passing one of the women a bar of soap.

"She'll not speak," Olin said drowsily.

"No?" Honnah asked.

"She isn't allowed to speak until she says she is staying. That is the deal I made her. She speaks, she stays, it is her consent."

"Olin!" Honnah scolded.

"I will not relent. She does not speak at all when she is aware of it."

I looked at him then. When I was aware? Did I speak to him at all? He smiled with his eyes closed like he knew I was looking at him.

"It was quiet," Olin said, answering his mothers question. "It was quiet and we had time to bond and get to know each other in new ways."

"I can see that. I would put her at four months? Perhaps five if she is carrying small."

"About five," Olin agreed.

I looked at both of them as the old woman scrubbed my head.

"Did you cast any bones? Is it a boy or girl?"

"Boy," he answered.

I sat up in my tub, looking at both of them again. I got up, standing in the water to look down at myself. I had known my breasts were swollen and I was gaining weight, but I had guessed it was from laying around and eating and not being active enough. I put a trembling hand on the roundness of my belly and shook my head.

A boy?

The old woman tried to tug me back into the water, but I stepped out and went to the looking glass to see better. It was hard to see past my swollen chest. I put my hands on the small bulge, tears coming to my eyes as I stared at it.

I heard water splashing and Olin was behind me, draping a towel over my shoulders as he looked at me in the mirror.

"One would think she did not know until just now," Honnah said in confusion.

"I do not think she did," Olin answered softly.

"Are you sure it's a boy?" I asked, my voice hoarse from disuse.

"The bones have never been wrong," he answered. He took a towel from one of the women and wrapped it around his waist, then bent and picked me up. "Is our bed made?" he asked Honnah.

"I saw them take your bedding in, I think it must be so. Is she well?"

"She will be. Call for us when dinner is ready?"

"Yes. I will see your clothes are cleaned and you have new to wear," she answered as Olin carried me to our bedroom.

Our warm bedroom.

He laid me on the bed, drying me off as he watched my face carefully. I moved over, making room for him and he dried off and got in. I pressed in close to him, one hand still on my belly as I tried to grasp it.

A baby. A boy. Olin's baby.

He moved his hand down, placing it over mine, splayed out across my belly. "You truly did not know?" he asked.

"No! No... I should have? I... didn't even think about my monthlies, it was like another world out there where things like that were forgotten and put away. My papa never spoke to me of things like this, or what it would be like, how I should feel."

"Your mother?"

"Yellow fever when I was seven," I answered numbly.

He kissed the top of my head and kept his hand over mine as he hugged me closer.

New clothes were brought in for us, but I gripped his hand when he started to get up and get dressed. He stayed until we were called, then we both got up to get dressed.

I paused and looked at him. "You shocked me into speaking, but that doesn't count." I said softly, then closed my mouth and stared up at him.

He looked down at my lips, then to my eyes and gave a single, sad nod before leading me out.

The others seemed loud to me now as they all spoke over the top of each other, asking questions and talking and telling me things. I looked around at all of them, but said nothing. Olin leaned over and said to Linus. "She cannot speak. If she speaks, it is the same as agreeing to stay and bond me. She refuses to speak at all."

Linus translated slowly, looking confused as he looked me over. He turned back to Olin. "Surely, in her state, you are already bonded?" he demanded, offended.

"No. She will not agree. Perhaps you can convince her before the baby comes so that he may have my name."

I looked away from everyone and the shocked looks I was getting now.

I soon learned that Eliza was also pregnant, ponderously so, due in a matter of weeks. Bethamin said she was fairly certain she was, but she couldn't be sure. Jon leaned in and whispered to me, "She says that every few weeks, she has since she found out Eliza was pregnant. She thinks if she says it enough it will happen."

His grin and demeanor made me glad for him. He was happy here. Eliza was also happy, I could see that, but I was fairly certain Bethamin was second guessing her choice now. She seemed desperate for attention from anyone.

I got up and bundled up, then hurried down to the stables to see the horses. The cold and wind didn't seem as bad when it was only in short bursts and it wasn't shaking your house down around your head. It felt good to be back and they all seemed happy to see me. More than one nuzzled my belly as I got close.

"You cannot work here anymore," Olin said from the door.

I turned, my mouth opening to ask him why not. I froze and shut my mouth, looking back to the roan I was petting.