Stay With Me Tonight

He smiled up at me and pointed for me to take the seat across from him, which I did.

"Candis told me that you would eventually accuse me of cheating on you," he explained.

"So, this Candis is the whore you are fucking??" I demanded.

He smiled again and I badly wanted to slap that smile off his face.

"Candis is a licensed family therapist who I've been seeing for almost two years. Ever since I found out."

"Found out what??" I demanded.

"Found out about your lovers," he said, looking straight at me with a grim expression.

I felt as if all the blood left my body as I listened to my husband's reply.

"How long have you known?" I whispered.

"I would like to say that I knew from the start, but I am sure I didn't." He looked down. "I knew something was up when, after only agreeing to sex once or twice a month for years, you suddenly started seducing me twice on Fridays, three times on Saturdays and Sundays, and even made love to me on Monday morning before leaving for work." Erick's eyes were red and moist. "My counselor helped me to see that your suddenly uncharacteristic behavior could be a sign that you were cheating, so I decided to hire a private detective to track your activities while traveling for work."

"Why? Why, didn't you try to stop it, or??? Or??? Well, at least, confront me? Or divorce me, or something?" I said, confused, nearly hyperventilating, and not knowing what to do.

Erick wouldn't look at me. I could see how much the confrontation was hurting him. His voice was shaking and there were tears dripping down his cheeks as he answered me. "I didn't want to lose you. That's why I went to counseling and asked for reasons to stay married to you."

Chapter Eight: Erick's story

I have a poor self-image largely due to being beaten throughout my childhood, starting at eight years old, and continuing well into my teen years, by my stepfather.

Every time I tried to stand up for myself, he would beat me even worse than before. The beatings affected the development of my manhood.

The beatings continued until I started to grow taller than him. At about eighteen years of age, right out of high school, I went to work. I tried to move out of home, but making minimum wage and only working forty hours a week was not conducive to being self-supporting.

I was slinging hash at a restaurant when Kate started working there as a waitress. She was very pretty, and she seemed to look my way often. It took a lot of non-verbal encouragement from her before I gathered the courage to ask her out for the first time.

I was living in an efficiency apartment, which was essentially a motel room with a stove and refrigerator in it. I really didn't like it, but it was better than living with my stepfather.

For those wondering why my mother never saved me from the tyrant, she was too busy prancing around in designer dresses, and advancing her career, to ever notice me. I think that I was just an inconvenience to her.

For our first date, I took Kate out to breakfast after her shift. After our fourth date, Kate told me that she would like to see my apartment. Of course, I was embarrassed to have her see how I lived, but she wouldn't take 'No' for an answer.

When we arrived at my efficiency apartment, Kate took it in stride and walked right in. Even though it was small, at least I kept it clean and tidy.

Kate came to me right away and kissed me. She ripped my shirt open and pulled it off over my shoulders. Her scorching looks told me that my tiny apartment was the last thing on her mind. We made it to the bed, and both helped her to undress.

I wasn't very experienced, having only been with one girl who, by reputation, was one of the high school's "cherry pickers". Sex with her wasn't very fulfilling, and I didn't really enjoy it. I was nearly sick when I discovered how bad her pussy smelled.

So, as Kate and I got naked, I feared her reeking as badly as the "cherry picker". However, when I finally got her pants off, I was amazed at the sweet aroma emanating from between her legs. In the past, every time someone mentioned eating pussy, I would think of my first time and almost get sick but, as I succumbed to the sweet scent of Kate's arousal, my mouth salivated.

With no experience, I had no idea what I was doing down there, but I had to taste her. She offered herself to me and I accepted. Not knowing where to lick, kiss, or suck, I just tried to taste her, and she tasted good. I didn't want to stop eating her pussy, it was so delicious, but I eventually moved up and mounted her missionary-style.

Since I have an abnormally long cock, I discovered that it would not go in all the way. Not wanting to be selfish, I started shallow strokes in and out of her. Her moans were music to my ears as I continued to pleasure her inside my small, cramped motel room.

As we continued to fuck, I was surprised when my cock suddenly went deeper into her, and I discovered that I could fit my entire length inside her pussy.

She screamed in orgasm as she felt my cock press against her cervix. I was in heaven watching this woman repeatedly come under me. I came a short time later.

After succumbing to our orgasms, we laid in the bed together. I was filled with love for Kate.

For the next few weeks, Kate visited my small apartment daily, and we chit-chatted and made love.

Between us, we didn't have a lot of money but, for the first time ever, despite the way that I'd been raised, I wanted to improve myself and be a better, more successful person for her. So I swallowed all my self-pity, put all the torture and beatings in my rearview mirror, and enrolled at a community college.

I studied day and night, still worked slinging hash, and spent wonderful nights with Kate. Kate worked too and, using both our incomes, we moved to a one-bedroom apartment that was far more comfortable than my small efficiency apartment.

In no time, we were building a life together, making memories. Unfortunately, we couldn't afford a camera at the time, so many of our memories went unrecorded.

After I graduated college, I landed a great job and offered to put Kate through college too. She accepted and off she went. While she was in college, we decided that would be a great time to start our family. In no time, our daughter, Lory was born, and she was great to watch grow up. Next to arrive was our son, Roy. He was a little different, with a few problems that we handled as he grew. Roy has a stubborn nature, which I don't think will ever change.

Despite the issues that we had to deal with when raising Roy, that boy never had a hand laid on him in anger by me, or anyone else, ever. The same could be said for Lory, although she rarely caused us any grief.

I'm not much of a fighter because, like I said, my stepfather beat the fight out of me, but I will do whatever it takes to protect my family.

Our love grew, our family grew. Kate studied computer support and development in college, and got a good job. Not wanting to travel for work, she didn't command a large salary, but she did well enough.

As the kids were approaching college age, I suggested to Kate that she should consider retiring and spending more time with the kids before they left the nest.

Kate did not enjoy being housebound, and only lasted a few months before begging her old boss to reemploy her. Although her old job had been filled, Kate was offered a similar, but better paying job, provided she was prepared to travel.

Nobody in the family liked the idea of Kate having to travel for work, but the kids were going off to college and, although the nights would be lonely for me, I accepted it. I was willing to commit to the idea, mainly for her happiness, as it certainly wasn't for mine. I knew sleeping without her by my side would be bad, but coming home to an empty house every day would be the worst.

I think I cried the first two weeks, being so lonely, but I eventually got used to it.

Our sex life didn't improve, of course. We would only make love a few times a month when she started traveling. At first, our passions ignited the second she got home from work but, sadly, that faded.

I was still in love with Kate, though, and I counted the moments until she returned. Being able to call her daily on the cell phone helped a lot, but I just wished that she could be happy at home. I think that she missed me too, and couldn't understand why she hadn't looked for a non-travelling job with a different employer.

Then I met Candis, a licensed family counselor, whose advice I sought hoping to get help with my growing depression. I told her about my love for Kate, about our relationship, and about our kids and life together.

When Candis asked about my childhood I wasn't happy, but she was too smart to allow me to avoid giving her the details. I told her about my stepfather and some of the things he used to do to my sister and me.

Candis believed that the underlying cause of my depression was, in fact, my childhood experiences. Together, we worked through the issues and she tried to get me to find forgiveness. It helped me quite a bit, but I needed my wife. Even though Kate and I didn't make love often, we did spend a lot of time together on the weekends.

Because of my depression, Candis thought I might become suicidal and wanted regular updates on my state of mind, so we met weekly. She would gently probe for signs that I was considering self-harm. That type of questioning worried me but, in general, it made me happy to chat with Candis, keeping her current on Kate and the progress of our marriage.

Over time, my sessions with Candis became predictable and more comfortable. I looked forward to them until one day, with an unusual expression on her face, she asked an odd question.

"Erick. You remember how your sex life changed recently?"

"Yes, I told you that Kate started coming home and seducing me almost every night."

"Erick, has Kate changed the way she dresses or looks?"

"Yes. I think the new look makes her feel really pretty, and that is part of why she has suddenly become so sexual," I said with a smile.

"Erick, is Kate not calling you and the kids as much as she used to?"

I thought about that for a moment before I answered "Yes, but she's a busy woman. I don't hold it against her."

"Erick, has the intimacy between you and Kate lessened?"

"Oh no. If anything, we are somewhat closer."

"Erick, has she accused you of cheating on her?"

I thought a few moments. "Not really, but I do know that she has become extremely jealous lately."

"Erick, has Kate disrespected you, or your marriage, lately?"

"A little, that's part of the reason that I sought counseling."

"Erick, does Kate guard her cell phone with her life?"

"I don't know. I have my own and never touch hers. Or her purse."

"Erick, are there unexplained charges on your joint credit cards or checking account?"

"Candis, we have our own checking accounts, so I would not know what to expect there."

Candis asked some more questions, remaining non-committal as I replied, then she showed me the document that she'd been using as the source of her questions. The title was: "Things one should look for to see if your spouse is cheating."

Then Candis asked, "What is your gut telling you Erick?"

My gut, my brain and my heart were at war with each other. I was extremely conflicted and, being so upset emotionally, I got up and stormed out the door.

Having accrued plenty of vacation time, I decided to take the week off work to sort out my feelings and plans going forward. Kate no longer called me each night, and now I thought I knew the reason. I had a fitful night's sleep and felt weary when I woke the next morning.

Now all I had was a sore gut, headache and a counselor who had forced me to an unwelcome realization. However, I needed proof. My first thought was to look in the yellow pages but, of course, we no longer have that. My next thought was to run a google search for Private Detectives. I made a few calls to some of the prospects, but didn't feel very comfortable with their responses.

Finally, I found a female private detective who, after a brief telephone interview, seemed reasonable. She wanted to talk to me face to face, so I made an appointment.

The following day we met at her office. I gave her all the information that I could, and let her know that it was my counselor's opinion that Kate was cheating. It took a little over an hour, and cost a small fortune, to pass on the necessary information and receive a commitment from her to have the investigation and report completed within three weeks.

It was the longest three weeks of my life. I skipped my next two sessions with Candis, angry that she had suggested Kate might be cheating.

At the end of the three weeks, the private detective surprised me by knocking on my front door. She said that the investigation was complete and had come to deliver the report, so I invited her inside, and we sat at the dining room table.

I knew things were bad when she opened her briefcase, took out a box of tissues and passed it to me. She told me she'd emailed everything she was about to show me, then she pulled out a folder. It contained dozens of photos of my wife with two different men. I wept for the loss of my marriage.

Probably, people wouldn't understand what Kate meant to me. It was Kate who, years ago, had taken a broken man and given him a reason to live and better himself. Without her I would be nothing and, in my mind, better off dead. I had never felt worse in my life. Fortunately, it was only Tuesday, and I had a whole week to clean up my act before Kate returned.

I decided to resume my sessions with Candis and tell her what had happened. After updating her, Candis commiserated for a while, then shocked me by starting a conversation about different types of marriage. She began with a discussion of 'open marriages', telling me how a proportion of couples have different degrees of open marriage. In some, both partners take on multiple lovers and still come home together. In others, only the wife or husband take on partners and the other stays faithful.

After a while, she mentioned cuckolding, and I was surprised she was so graphic about it. She told me that, if I really wanted to stay married to Kate, I would have to consider all options. If no option was acceptable then I would have to divorce her. In Candis' opinion, Kate was so deep into her present lifestyle that a major change would destroy the marriage anyway.

I went home to study the cuckold lifestyle. At first, I found some scenarios arousing, but then I read about some things that wives forced on their husbands which made me feel sick. Like the way they would humiliate them in public, especially in front of their bulls (as they called their lovers). Some of them even got pregnant by their lovers, and had their husbands raise the children, all the while denying their husbands any sex.

When Kate arrived home that weekend, I faked being sick and even slept in the spare room on Friday night. I woke to my wife holding me tightly. She pleaded, "Baby I need to hold you at night. Please, it's all I ask."

I slept in our bed Saturday night, not touching Kate sexually. However, on Sunday night, I couldn't keep my hands off her. I took her with a passion that I had never experienced. It was lust, it was wanting, it was everything one could ever want until it was over.

My explosion was the most powerful that I'd ever experienced and, afterwards, I collapsed onto Kate without enough energy to be able to move. I laid on her heavily, not rolling off as I would normally do, half-expecting her to push me off.

I had been trying to ignore the reality of Kate's cheating for weeks, until she came home and accused me of cheating. I had never laughed harder in my life at the unmitigated hypocrisy of the woman. I had never considered retaliation, or stepping out on her, because I felt that I owed her my loyalty for all that she'd done to raise my self-esteem over the years, even though her actions were currently undermining that good work.

As the argument progressed, I learned that she had discovered the file the detective sent me. She had opened it and found the photos of her with her two lovers. I had known of her cheating for almost 8 months, but I still hadn't decided on a course of action, despite several sessions with Candis to discuss the issues.

One of Candis' suggestions was to write down some rules that Kate would have to follow if I was to ever accept being a cuckold. I decided that, if I had to share her, to limit the amount of humiliation that I would have to endure, then she would

•not get pregnant

•never deny me sex at any time

•stop sneaking around and lying

•continually reassure me of her love physically and emotionally.

If she would not accept, and abide by, these rules then we would divorce immediately. The rules had been finalized for a long time, waiting for the opportunity to present them to Kate, which she had just handed to me with her hypocritical accusation.

To my surprise, after our confrontation, Kate went to visit Lora over the weekend. She called a couple of times and told me that we needed to talk, but she thought it would be best if we had a cooling-down period.

After being anxious all weekend, I only saw Kate briefly on Monday morning, when she showed up with barely enough time to get her clothes and make her flight.

Kate only had time to say she was afraid of what I was going to do. She said she explained the situation to Lora, and that Lora took my side and gave Kate hell all weekend. I was proud of our daughter. Kate never contacted Roy who was only interested in himself. I watched as Kate tucked her tail and headed off to catch her flight.

I had decided to make Kate's activities with her lovers a little more complicated than they had been previously. I decided to follow her on her weekly 'work' travels.

Landing about six hours after Kate, I checked into the same hotel she used and went to the same lounge. I looked around and quickly recognized Keven. He was sitting at the bar, so I took the stool next to him and struck up a conversation without introducing myself. As we chatted, he confessed that he was having a really bad time. He said that his girlfriend had dumped him and blew him off last night. He told me that they had been together for almost a year and, though he wasn't in love with her, she was special to him. I asked him to elaborate.

"Well, if a man is intimate with a woman, it's impossible not to have feelings for her. But my girl is happily married, and I knew that. I tried like hell to just keep it about sex but, well, I just can't make it that way. She is a special woman and I know that I can never have her," he finished.

I asked why he would say that.

"She is in love with her husband," he said simply.

"How would you know that?" I asked.

"Dude, all she does is talk about him. How he makes her feel so good and womanly. How he picks her up emotionally. She told me how he put her through college, and supported her too, in their early years, something even her own parents wouldn't do."

He looked at me with a wry smile on his face. "Dude, I know more about him than I know about her."

Kate showed up a short time later, but I was able to leave before she saw me.

The next day, while Kate was at work, I found Keven and we chatted some more. Kate called me from the lobby that night, while I was in the lounge with Keven. It came as a shock when my wife's ring tone went off, very loudly, and I know she heard it as she turned and looked around instinctively.

I managed a "Hello. Just a moment, Baby..." as I quickly left the lounge before she could find me.