All Comments on 'Step Brothers Bride'

Do tell us you're going to charge interest!

Good story, but fantasy only.

Keep up the good work!

For the win!

All in for a few chapters. Yeah?

very well written.

I enjoyed the story, please continue.

My wife had two men on the night before our wedding ( oh I got some strange pussy as well ) and as I was kissing her after the ceremony she whispered in my ear " I can feel their cum leaking out of me." Instant boner.

I like the story, but it needs some serious editing to fix a lot of your run on sentences. I hope to see a part 2.

Is that all the characters are assholes. Not a likable character in the entire story. Which makes the entire story not entertaining. A complete waste of time. If any or all of them got run over by a bus, who would care?

1 star

I agree with other Anonymous: Not a single character in this story that is likeable.

I really do not understand why the soon to be bride did not flee the moment she knew why the reserves were empty. Nothing worse than a husband addicted to gambling. She did produce a fine first encounter with the step-brothers. The author did a good job on writing the story.

For a first time writer I think you've done well, yes it could be better but I enjoyed it.

I appreciate the comments I knew some people wouldn't like it for various reasons and I'm glad some of you did. I will take the feedback onboard for my next story.

Great start, can't wait for part 2. Get an editor, for a more readable story. Thanks for the effort.

I’ve known of plenty of bridesmaids and a few of the moms of either bride or groom getting fucked at the wedding but never any personal experience hearing the bride fucking at the wedding. I’m sure it happens though.

it seems that you forgot to Proof Read and Edit!

Turbo, some items that may be of help to the reader. Smaller paragraphs. As a reader I like about two to a page. Use of quotes ades interest to the story, as you have done.

Here is a cut and paste from your story.

Jennifer then came walking into the Cameras view, she looked straight at the camera and said I hope your ready boys.

I would change it as follows.

Jennifer then came walking into the Cameras view, she looked straight at the camera and said, " I hope your ready boys".

Good job, keep up the good work.

Jack

Hope there's a part 2 coming. Try to work on the lengths of your paragraphs