Stoned

"Don't say anything Gia," Dave said. "I'll call Vince."

"No, do not call Vince," I insisted

Dave nodded, but I wasn't sure he was listening to me. And then everyone watched as they asked me to put my hands behind my back and used a plastic tie to secure them. It was almost like I was watching someone else go through this...it couldn't be happening to me. I mean...really?

The police officer escorting me to one of the waiting cars put his hand on my head as I bent to climb into the backseat. The door slammed shut and I felt my stomach lurch. It took quite some time, with my fellow employees and quite a few customers staring at me sitting in the backseat of a police car, before two officers made their way into the front seats and pulled away from the curb. I was sitting in the backseat, trembling from head to toe, trying not to panic...but at least they didn't ask me any questions as they drove to the police station. We sat mostly in silence, listening to the chatter on their police radios.

They didn't 'process' me when we arrived. Instead, I was escorted to a little room. It didn't look like the rooms on television. There was no giant mirror on the wall and the room was very small. There was a camera perched high up in one corner, a small rectangular table, and four chairs that barely fit in the room. They removed the plastic tie from my hands and there I sat...waiting...and waiting...and waiting.

There were thoughts running through my mind...like how embarrassed I was to have been carted away like a common criminal in front of my co-workers and my boss...like how Anna was going to explain my absence to Keni...like when they were going to tell me what I was charged with...wasn't that a Constitutional right? Like...how was I going to afford a lawyer? I would have to use the money I had been saving for Keni, the money from her father...and I didn't like that idea at all...like, why would anyone think I would have all those drugs, if they were drugs, in my locker at work? I mean...why would I have done something that stupid...like...like how was this still happening when I'd tried to stop it by cutting her out of my life...it just wasn't fair.

I had no idea how much time had passed when the door finally opened. I was expecting to see police officers, detectives most likely, enter, but that is not who entered and closed the door behind them. Instead it was a tall, very thin, black woman, her skin a creamy, lovely milk chocolate, her hair dark, short and curly and she wore a very nice navy blue pants suit. She sat beside me at the table.

"Georgia Adams, I'm your attorney, Belinda Daniels."
"My a-attorney?" I stuttered, clearly confused since I didn't have an attorney.

She nodded, "yes, I received a call from Ms. Stone?"

I closed my eyes for a moment. Damn Dave. I told him not to call Vince.

"My daughter?" I asked instead of complaining about Dave.

"Ms. Mauro picked her up and will stay at your apartment with her until this is resolved."

I nodded. I knew Anna would pick her up, would stay with her, but I was still relieved to hear it.

"Ms. Adams, you're being charged with possession and the intent to sell three kilos of methamphetamine."

I stared at her, the words registering...and yet not. I mean...really? Meth? Me? That was insane.

"It's not mine. I don't know how it got in my locker."

She smirked, "it wasn't just in your locker, Ms. Adams, it was actually in your purse."

I shook my head, "but that's nuts," I assured her.

She nodded, "yes, I know. You don't have a record. You've never been in trouble with the law and there's no history of drug use or abuse in your past. Additionally, you seem to lack the connections needed to move that type of weight...of course, except for your affiliation with Vincenza Stone."
I shook my head emphatically, "Vince doesn't sell drugs."

This time she actually chuckled, "and who told you that? Ms. Stone? Did you expect her to admit she was a big time drug dealer?" She asked, somewhat amused and probably thinking I was a little pathetic.

I stared at her for a moment. Was she serious? Had Vince lied to me about that? I mean...

"She told me she didn't sell drugs. I believe her." I repeated. She hadn't told me, but there was no reason for Johnny to lie about that.

She shrugged, "honestly she's never been charged with any drug offenses. It might just be an assumption on my part. Anyway, I don't care about that. How do you think these drugs wound up in your purse?"

I shook my head, trying to think...the break room wasn't locked. Neither were our lockers. I mean...we'd never had any problems with theft, so no one brought a lock to put on their locker. And the back door, where the trucks made deliveries, was typically open, or at least ajar...anyone could have put those drugs in my purse. At any time. I didn't really even check my purse once I was at work unless I'd forgotten something, like my phone. So...I couldn't answer her question to be honest.

I told her all of that and she frowned, "okay, different questions. Why would anyone put that in your purse?"

I blanked again at first...and then I thought of the people who had kidnapped my child. The infamous Jamaicans. Was Vince having problems with them again? Did they think she and I were still dating? Was this their attempt to 'negotiate' with Vince again? And if so...how was I going to totally separate myself from this woman's drama? Move to another city? Change my name? Sheesh.

"Uh...you need to talk to Vince."
"You just told me this wasn't about Vince. Now it is?"

I shook my head, not able to explain. "Just talk to Vince, okay?"

She nodded, then stood.

"Okay, be patient Ms. Adams. For that kind of weight, you're looking at a potential stay."
"A stay?" I gasped. Seriously? "What does that mean?" I asked.

She sighed, "it's dealer weight Ms. Adams. They take that seriously. No way are they releasing you today or even tomorrow. They'll process you and put you in a cell. Just be prepared for it and try to be patient."

I nodded, watching as she left...but how could I really comprehend what she was saying? I mean...was this even happening?

It didn't take long before a female officer appeared. She took a firm hold of my upper arm and walked me down a few corridors, past a variety of electronic gates...I wasn't really paying attention, I was in a daze. She stopped me at a woman behind a counter and they had me empty my pockets. The woman called out each item I handed over, keys, cash, my phone, before putting each in a plastic bag and sealing it. Then, using some digital contraption, she took my fingerprints. And finally a mug shot.

I was moved along to a large, communal shower. It was empty, thank goodness, but the woman who was escorting me stood there as I undressed, completely (and believe me, I was not happy about getting naked in front of this person), and then watched as I showered. After, and before she handed me a small, dingy towel, she combed her fingers through my wet hair and looked in my mouth. She then told me to bend over as she slipped a glove onto one hand. I looked at her like she was nuts. She repeated that I should bend over and attempt to touch my toes. I continued to stare at her for another few moments before she raised a brow. So I turned and bent over. She then told me to pull apart my buttocks. I could feel the heat rush through my body...the shame...the horror. I did as she asked, and squeezed my eyes closed as she reached forward, separating my nether lips, quickly searching through my folds and then shoving two fingers into me, moving them around. She then quickly inserted a finger into my rectum, moving it around. I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat at the violation.

I was then allowed to stand, dry off, and she handed me a new pair of white, plain panties and a gray one-piece jumpsuit. No bra. I slipped on the clothes, donning the pair of white socks and the slippers she also gave me. By this time, I had checked out mentally. I was just going through the motions and following her orders. I couldn't care anymore or I would lose it. My brain could not process that I had been detained...that someone had invaded my privacy, my body, in such a way...I just couldn't think about it...

Eventually, I was escorted to a typical looking jail cell. It was empty although there were bunk beds. Once inside, I tried not to jump as the door closed electronically behind me. I curled up on the bare, stained mattress, dismissing the idea of laying on something so gross, and just stared into space.

*

Hours and hours and hours passed...and I was still staring at nothing. I heard voices...cell doors opening and closing...a uniformed woman brought me a tray of food that I neither looked at nor ate. I was cold, actually shivering...I was...I couldn't think of other words to describe how I was feeling. It was all...surreal. Scared? Shocked? Angry? Humiliated? I mean...God, was this really happening?

I thought of my little girl, the smell of her shampoo, brushing out her hair and braiding it, the smell of her bath soap...sitting at the island in the kitchen and helping her with her homework...watching movies with her as her little, warm body leaned against mine...the sound of her voice...her beautiful, brown eyes...

And I thought of another pair of eyes...sky blue... amazing... intense...and the feel of a large, warm body pressed against me...the feel of large hands on my body...caressing...teasing...the feel of those full, soft lips, as she thoroughly kissed me...the taste of her...

I didn't cry. I think I was too shocked to cry. I mean...what nightmare was this? How had this happened? What had I done to deserve this? And how was I going to get out of this? All I kept thinking was...dealer weight...kilos of meth....they took this seriously...and the look on my lawyer's face when she said there was no way I was getting out of here quickly.

Eventually I had to use the bathroom, closing my eyes tight as I heard someone approach and walk by as I did so. When they brought the third tray of food, I drank the tiny container of apple juice and the small bottled water. I still didn't eat. Someone walked by with a cart filled with books. I selected a novel I'd read before. At least it would give me something to do instead of thinking about where I was what I'd been subject to...

I have no idea how much time had passed, probably two days, when a uniformed woman came to my cell and told me I had a visitor. I assumed it was my lawyer. I followed her down a series of corridors to a large room with a variety of tables set apart from one another for some measure of privacy. There were a few inmates sitting at different tables quietly. Quite some time later, a buzzer sounded and people started filing into the room. I looked for a tall, thin woman...and was instead shocked to find myself staring into a pair of amazing blue eyes.

The sight of her...that rich milk chocolate skin, the broad shoulders, her short, curly hair cropped close to her head, that crooked nose, those thick, dark eyebrows and full lips...I hadn't seen her in a while and she had the same mind numbing effect on me. My heart leapt and I was about to smile, pleased to see her...and then I remembered holding my daughter while she cried after being abducted...I remembered the feeling of someone shoving their fingers in my most private places...I remembered where I was and why I was here...I didn't smile.

She approached the table where I sat, sitting across from me, just staring at me for a few minutes. I stared back.

"Here," she handed me a piece of folded notebook paper.

I looked at it for a moment before taking it. It was a letter from my baby girl and it immediately brought tears to my eyes. She mentioned missing me, feeling sad because I didn't kiss her goodbye before I left on my trip...and she said, over and over again, how much she wanted me to come home. I read it again and again, memorizing the words, the shape of the letters, the feel of the paper...eventually I looked up at Vince again, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"Thank you," I whispered.

She nodded.

"When am I getting out of here?"

"We're working on it," she assured me in that deep rumble of a voice.

I wasn't comforted.

"What do they want this time?" I asked.

"Same as before. We're talking." She assured me.

And suddenly I didn't care...and I didn't want to see this woman anymore. I stood, about to make my way back toward the door where a correction officer stood. Before I could reach the door, Vince grabbed my hand, stopping me. I ignored the rush of heat that spread through me at that simple touch as the officer called out "no touching. Keep your seats please."

I hesitated, not sure I wanted to spend any more time with Vince, but she let my hand go and I returned to the table to sit across from her again. We sat in silence for a few moments as I just stared at her.

"You have to eat," she informed me.

I wondered how she knew I wasn't eating. But, again, decided I didn't care.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded rudely.

I watched her sigh, "I came to make sure you were okay."

I raised a brow, "okay? How can I be okay? They arrested me at my place of work. They made me strip and shower in front of strangers. Some woman who barely said a sentence to me shoved her fingers in me and will probably have to do it again because of this visit. For the second time, because of you, I could not kiss my baby girl goodnight. How could I possibly be okay?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, her jaw tight. Then those baby blues focused on me again and I could see...pain? Regret? Frustration? A moment later, she stood.

"I'll get you out of here," she promised.

This time I didn't respond, watching her leave.

I was able to keep Keni's letter, but I did have to endure another cavity search. By the time I was able to close my eyes and sleep for a few hours, I had read that letter at least a hundred times.

*

They held me for 10 days. Ten days in that...place. Ten days away from my baby girl. Ten days of my life I would never get back.

Anna picked me up.

My lawyer told me two of the bags I'd seen them carry out 'went missing,' so I was now looking at the sale and possession of one kilo of meth. It was still distribution weight, so it was still a problem, but she assured me it was better.

Keni wasn't home when I first arrived, so I took a very hot, very long shower and slept in my own bed. I slept like the dead. And then I ate lasagna Anna had prepared. It was delicious.

A few hours later, when my baby girl exploded into the apartment, she screamed when she saw me, then burst into tears after running into my arms. I held her tight, breathing her in...and then we were both crying. Anna smiled, just watching us. Eventually I set her down, she caught me up on all that I'd missed, we worked on her homework, ate dinner, and then she crawled into bed with me. I pulled her close, staring at her long after she'd fallen asleep, touching her to make sure she was real, inhaling her wonderful scent, before I was finally able to sleep.

I spent the next two days focused on Keni...before I was brave enough to make my way back to my job. I had no expectations. After 12 days, I probably would have fired me. But when I arrived, everyone offered me hugs, asked me what the hell was going on...and Dave told me he was glad I was back and that the schedule was in chaos so I needed to fix it. Even the customers who I saw over the next few days who had witnessed my arrest only expressed concern and dismay, not condemnation as I'd feared.

Within a week, I felt like the nightmare was behind me, other than the pending charges of course. But I couldn't shake the "what's next" feeling I carried to bed with me each night. Since I'd let Vince into our lives Keni and I had experienced a series of extreme ups and downs...but I was no longer convinced that the ups were worth the downs. Not even as I sat watching the television Vince had bought, or slept on the mattress she'd replaced. I was feeling more and more like I needed to take quite a few steps back, back to my old apartment (or one I could afford), back from Anna and Johnny...just back to where I'd been before Vince. I hadn't been happy back there, but at least I slept at night and didn't worry as much about Keni. I missed those days...

I was having one of these contemplative nights, sipping a cup of hot tea while watching a movie, when someone knocked on the front door. I glanced at the clock on the television screen, wondering who would stop by at 10pm. Since the doorman knew to let Anna and Johnny up, I assumed it was one of them, hoping we were not being spirited off because of a possible threat. To be honest, I didn't think I could handle any more excitement at the moment.

It wasn't Anna or Johnny. It was Belinda, my lawyer. I didn't know if I should smile or not, depending on the news she had, so I just stepped back and let her enter. As soon as the door closed, she started smiling.

"The A.D.A. dropped the charges," she announced happily.

I stared at her, not sure I'd understood what she'd just said. "What?" I asked hesitantly.

"Your charges. Dropped. You're cleared. No exceptions, no caveats."

I shook my head, still not sure I understood.

"I-I don't understand," I offered.

She shook her head, "yea, neither did I. But the A.D.A. said he got a better offer and part of that deal was to exonerate you."

"But who—"

She looked at me and I stopped mid-sentence. I already knew who. No one else had been interested in making sure I was 'okay.' She reached out and squeezed my hand.

"I just wanted to let you know, I'm late for drinks."

I nodded, opening the door for her. After closing the door, it took me a few minutes before I made the decision. Then I called Anna.

"Hey," she answered right away.

"Oh good, you're not sleeping. Can you come watch Keni?"

"Everything okay?" She asked.

"Yea, I just...need to go see someone."

"Be there in a few," she promised.

And she was. I'd showered and changed into jeans and a simple black blouse when she arrived about 20 minutes later. She raised a brow at my curls, which I'd left out, and my light make-up.

"You look nice."

I nodded, "thanks. Not sure if I'll make it back tonight." I told her. "But I'll be back before she leaves for school."

She shrugged, "okay."

I nodded, answering my cell when it rang.

"Ms. Adams, your cab is here."
"Thanks Izzy."

I gave Anna a quick hug and then hurried downstairs. I wasn't even sure she was home, but I was going to her anyway. I...wasn't sure what I wanted. To apologize for the things I'd said to her? To thank her? It was so easy to focus on the negative, but Vince had brought some wonderful things into my life too. Like my apartment...and child support...and the feeling that someone had my back, even if I behaved like an asshole after breaking up with her. She had no reason to help me, to visit me in jail, to get the charges dropped...but she'd done it anyway. Again, it was so easy to forget that.

Not to mention...I still had feelings for her. Six months hadn't changed that...something I'd realized when she showed up at the jail. There was still something...special between us. And all the anger and frustration I felt hadn't dulled it.

The cab dropped me off in front of her building and I hesitated...pacing back in forth...suddenly very nervous. Then I remembered she was probably not home, so I hurried inside and pressed the button for the elevator before I changed my mind.

I did the same song and dance in front of her apartment door, pacing back and forth before I forced myself to knock. After a few minutes, there was still no answer. A little relieved, I turned to head back to the elevator...but then I heard locks turning and the door swung open. I took a deep breath before turning to face her. She wore a black dress shirt, the top buttons opened, black slacks and her feet were bare. I didn't move, waiting to see what she would do. After a moment or two, she stepped back, indicating I should enter.