Stories We Ruined Together Pt. 06

The music drifted softly in, reduced by the closed door, but still there. I turned off the main light and put on the bedside lamp, but Ed said he wanted to see properly, so I allowed him to re illuminate the room. I began to sway, slowly and self-consciously, to the music. Stretching my arms out, I tried to imagine that I was an exotic dancer of some kind, areal pro. My fingers found the buttons of my blouse, and I undid them one by one, to let it open, as I kept to the rhythm. Then the clasp of my trousers, and I turned and allowed him the rear view as I lowered them to my thighs, and then awkwardly shuffled my way out of, and kicked them across the carpet. Followed by my socks.

I risked a glance at Ed, he seemed to be focusing very keenly on me. Well, it must be going alright then. I removed my blouse one arm at a time, trying and failing to think of a way to delay it, and dropped it to the floor, leaving me there in front of the bed and feeling slightly on the cold side, in my bra and knickers of soft red cotton. I backed off slowly to the foot of the bed, eyes on the ceiling, running my hands down my ribs, stomach, hips. Easing myself over the low wooden footboard, I lay back on top of the duvet, knees raised and apart, and gently felt the goosebumps emerging on my thighs, exhaled slowly some of the tension I had been carrying, closed my eyes. A noise told me he had shifted the chair, to have a better view of me. Good.

Very slowly I slipped one finger under the band of my knickers, and lowered that side, revealing solely skin, but skin suggestive of so much more. Skin that said you know what's right next to this, you know what's coming next. Same for the other side, then I waited as the music lulled, the track changed, and the next started -- deep and warm in melody and with just a little more tempo. I groped around for the dildo, found it to my left, and lifted it to my mouth. With soft faithful lips I kissed it, then ran my tongue slowly up its length, as if there was something interesting to taste and not just flavourless plastic. Into my mouth it went, just the first couple of inches, and I sucked it like a lolly for a while, my hips moving and bum pressing into the mattress. Time to shed the knickers. I did so with a smooth movement, and was about to throw them to the floor when Ed spoke, quietly.

"I think in your book... Rosie puts them in her mouth. When she's masturbating for him."

This was true. I didn't really want it to be true, but it was. I don't know why I wrote that part, I don't know where the idea came from, but for some reason I had written the scene that way. Well, okay then. The dildo travelled slowly down and the underwear slowly up. I could feel my own wetness on my knickers, they were damp from when my excitement had grown and blossomed and seeped out of me. I held them to my face, and inhaled, took in the smell of myself, the smell that more than one man had told me drove them crazy. I couldn't tell what the fuss was all about, but it wasn't unpleasant as such, I didn't mind it. It was strange - thick and with a soured sweetness, and familiar.

I opened my mouth and pushed the material in, taking half of it and holding it there, and my body responded, producing more saliva as if I was going to eat this, and suddenly I could taste myself, just slightly. I hoped this was doing it for Ed. If it was, then he was some kind of pervert. To get off from watching a girl suck on her own knickers. But it was fine with me. I was getting more and more excited, by this point I just wanted to plunge the toy into myself, deep, or preferably have him on top of me, thrusting into me, making me his.

But I had a job to do. As a researcher, as an author. And I was determined to do it. When I rubbed the tip of the dildo against the wet lips of my labia, my body shook, and I thought for a second I was going to come right then. But it subsided quickly. I continued, making circles, all the while wondering what this looked like for him. Was this a fantasy or his? Or did I just look silly? Was he hard? Was it difficult for him to hold himself back? With my left hand I traced a route along my stomach, up, up to my breasts, and I rubbed each in turn, warm palm across cold cotton, but I didn't take off my bra -- that was another thing from the book. Rosie kept her bra on, she had some idea that doing so preserved some kind of mystery, she thought she needed to hold something back. At thirty-one I knew that holding back was a self-delusion, but I kept it on anyway. My hand slowed, then came to rest under my breasts, clutching across my ribs like I was bracing myself for something.

I pushed the tip of the dildo into myself, opening my legs and easing it into my lustful pussy, that irresistible feeling of being entered, of joining with something. As I drew it back and then pressed it back in, my moan was muffled by the underwear with which I had gagged myself- now as wet with my spit as it was with my lubrication. I increased the pace slightly, feeling myself open up to it, the resistance decreasing, the need to be filled growing, and I writhed on the bed, unable to stay still, unable to take it without moving, as if part of me wanted to escape. But I didn't, I wanted to be there. I'd never had much intense pleasure from dealing with myself like this, it had never really been something that worked for me... maybe the mistake all along had been not doing it in front of someone. Not that I had ever been with someone I would have wanted to do this for, until now. Now I wanted to share everything, I wanted him to see all. I opened my legs wider, to make sure everything was on view.

I kept my eyes screwed shut. My pulse was hammering as I fucked myself with the dildo, and I dropped my other hand back down, to play with my clitoris, racing myself closer to the cliff. I couldn't breathe properly with my mouth gagged, but I loved it, I love the feeling of my mouth being filled and knowing that I was tasting myself, that this could be the dirtiest thing I'd ever done, and being watched too... fuck, it felt so good. Two minutes more of the dildo squeezing into and out of me, and my fingers playing on my flower bud, and I was almost there. I pushed my knickers to front of my mouth with my tongue and spat them out -- they dropped onto my chest along with a good amount of saliva.

"Fuck, I'm going to come. Fuck fuck fuck."

"That's right, come for me. I want to see it, you dirty girl."

That was enough for me, those few words were all I needed to go over the edge. It rushed over me faster than usual, hard and hot and it almost hurt, I yelled out in surprise and heavy bliss, my hips rocked against the dildo and my back arched as it all rocked through me, and a moment later I layback on the duvet, gasping, head spinning, exhausted. The toy was shining with my own liquid, it slipped through my fingers and dropped to the floor, and I curled up and rested there on the bed, letting everything ebb, letting it subside and release me from the fiery grip. Eventually it did, and I closed my eyes. I felt a blanket placed over me, and Ed's hand on my shoulder, and then he stroked my hair out of my eyes, and kissed my forehead.

"Come in here with me," I murmured.

"I've actually got to go," he said. "Sorry. Gareth needs me to help him with something in the house, he's broken the tap and it's getting everywhere. He's hopeless. I just saw his message."

I shook my head. "He can swim, can't he?"

"Yeah. But I think they're hoping it won't get to that point. Anyway, I'll need to be up early for work, got the first shift, so I should be going back home to get some rest."

I opened my eyes to see him looking down on me with a whole lot of affection. I could see how much he liked me, just in his eyes at that moment. "Okay. I'll probably go to bed. Alone."

"Ah, don't be like that."

"Well, if I had someone else here maybe that could be fun, maybe I could do something for them, maybe they could do something for me... but never mind," I teased.

Ed leant down and kissed me, and his hand found its way between my legs. "You're such a good girl."

"I thought I was a dirty girl. You called me dirty."

"You're a good girl because you're dirty." He kissed me again. "That was amazing, I've never seen anything like it."

"I'm glad you approved. Maybe next time you'll be more closely involved in my dirtiness."

"I hope so." He straightened up. "Do you think you'll be able to write that scene? Did that show you what it's like?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"Great. Maybe...maybe I could help. We could try writing it together. If you want to. I'll understand if you don't."

It had never occurred to me to write with someone else. I wasn't even sure how it would work. Another perspective could be useful, but I didn't want to make things weird between us, or change my story too much. And it could be a bit embarrassing. "I'll think about it."

I hauled myself up off the bed, and clumsily pulled on my damp knickers, promising myself I would have a shower just as soon as he was gone. We embraced. I could feel his erection, pushing against his jeans and against my stomach. I knew that what I'd done had worked for him. It had worked for me too. Exhibitionism... now I could understand a little bit of the appeal. Well, with some one I trusted anyway.

"I can't believe I did all that," I said, as we broke our hug.

"It looked like you were enjoying yourself. A lot. You were amazing, so hot. And this time I got to see basically everything."

"Yeah well, it was your lucky day. Maybe next time it'll be mine." I didn't know quite what I meant by that, but surely I could think of something kinky that I'd like to see. If I just used my imagination. "When will I see you next?"

Ed did his thinking-face expression. Already I could recognise it -- one eye squinted and its eyebrow raised, lips pursed up. I thought it was endearing. "We're having a couple of friends over at the house tomorrow for dinner. Do you fancy it?"

That surprised me. "Oh, I don't know. Are you sure you want them to meet me?"

"Yeah, I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Nothing, I just...okay. Just let me know the time and were to be, I'll be there." I liked the idea. I wanted to be part of his life, I wanted to be more and more for him. I wanted him to need me. I was falling quickly, and my attempts to slow down just weren't working. And I didn't even want them to.

At the door of my apartment we held each other for a long time, silently. I hoped no neighbour would pass by and see me in my underwear like this, pale skin exposed in the cold entrance hall, but I wanted his hands on my bare arms, legs, waist. He gently squeezed one cheek of my bum, and I felt a stabbing urge to move his hand to the front, to have him feel my heat and residual wetness, but I didn't, I just buried my face in his neck and enjoyed the indistinct smell of him. I could be patient. We hadn't actually had sex yet, and I badly badly wanted to. But I wanted it to be right, I didn't want it to be veiled in some kind of research for my story, or rushed, or ruined by my marauding insecurities. I could wait.