Strum

"I didn't see you come in. And I didn't realise Tanya would be so..."

When I didn't continue, he said, "She comes across as ballsy but I'm afraid it's a bit of an act. Unfortunately she doesn't believe in herself."

"She's keeping her special talents to herself. The world needs to hear her voice."

"I know, right." He leant in close, whispering like we were conspiring together. "We'll have to work on her, you and I will."

Drinks flowed, fish and chips were served, I chatted to people, while Wes became a little drunk, as did I. He helped me fend off some over enthusiastic men who wanted to chat when I clearly wasn't interested as the crowd began to thin as the night rolled on. The drunks grew drunker and a fight broke out, causing Kevin and a strapping young barman named Lincoln to intervene. Soon there were few people left and it was last drinks.

"What a fucking night!" Kevin said as he balanced the till. "Here, what'd I say to you earlier? Two hundred quid?"

"I think you said a hundred." I knew I was slurring, trying to keep my composure while the room spun around me.

"You're drunk," he said, his smirk full of cheek. "I said two hundred, easy money. When you're back in London, drop by and I'll have you back for an encore performance."

"People didn't come to see me, most were already through the door..."

"Uh, uh," he said with a shake of the head. "Don't be thinking you're speaking logically, because all night people were telling me to book you again. I've seen more than a few videos on their phone and I reckon you'll be all over YouTube and TikTok by the morning."

"Sure..." My mind spun almost as much as the room, and I knew I was going to pay in the morning.

"It's true," Tanya said, standing behind Kevin. "People keep asking if we are going to form a band."

"Are we?" I said, swaying.

She laughed. "You have a bus to catch in the morning, so I think you need to have a few waters and we'll get you home. Trust me, I'm a nurse."

"My lovely special nurse..."

Wes watched us and grinned. He slurred a little himself when he said, "Come on, girls, I'll help pack the gear..."

Swaying to my feet, Kevin caught me and placed me gently back in the chair. "You take care, girly. Tanya and I will sort everything for you and chauffer you back to the hostel, like the rock star you are."

"Here, have some water," Lincoln the barmen said, holding out a glass.

I sipped at the water, watching the staff clean and close up, where Tanya popped over with another water while Wes took his keyboard, and soon they all bundled me into Wes' car, which Kevin drove this time.

"Awww, it's snowing," Wes said to his lover, "Isn't it pretty? Now turn the heat up you Scottish git."

"Listen to this drunk bastard," Kevin said to us in the back seat, "Always complaining about the cold, you think he'd be happy not having to pay for beers tonight."

I'm sure I was cold but I was so drunk I didn't notice, and the best thing was Tanya in the middle seat snuggling against me, where we were forced together because the keyboard lay half in the boot and half in the back with us, where the split section of seat was folded down to accommodate the load.

I smiled at London, the city pretty at night with snowflakes falling on the rows of houses and the bare trees, many which were covered in fairy lights. I'd spent the last two days not exploring London anywhere near as much as I'd planned, and I didn't care either, because Tanya's warmth was a greater prize. My hand found hers and she returned my squeeze.

"Here we are again, your temporary home-sweet-home," Kevin said, and when I looked out the window there were a handful of desperados braving the cold, their breath forming clouds of smoke and condensation, suffering for their addiction to nicotine.

"Do I have to go?" I said, leaning back against Tanya.

"No, you can stay," she said.

"Good. Take me home."

"Okay," Kevin said, "Oh, look, here we are, at your home."

"Don't be a bastard," Tanya said. "We need to keep her."

"You have my heart," I slurred. "And home is where the heart is."

"Oohhh," Wesley chuckled, "Intriguing development."

I felt Tanya's heaving sigh and squeezing hand, and she kissed my cheek and she whispered, "Home is wherever I'm with you."

"I don't wanna..."

But of course I had to, and Tanya followed me out to the street, as did Kevin and Wesley, and we group hugged, me in the middle being squeezed tight by the other three as snow fell upon my hair, and the boys stood back while Tanya gave me an extra-long squeeze.

"I guess this is it," I whispered.

"Well, no, but you're going to be having the time of your life on your bus trip and the rest of Europe over the next few weeks, so go and enjoy yourself."

"Will I see you again?" I was quite conscious of my slur.

"It's up to you," she replied, whispering it. "I mean, send me a text or something and I'll definitely reply."

"If you don't lose your phone."

With a coy smile, she replied, "Yes, if I don't lose my phone."

"You will text me? Or you can even sext me if you like."

"I already have sexted you," Tanya chuckled. "Check your phone. But you'll meet plenty of people on this trip. Have fun with them and we'll catch up next time you're in London and you can tell me about it."

"Okay, you really are trying to get rid of me..."

"Yes, yes I am, because we're freezing our tits off here. Also, I want you to know I'd keep you if I could."

Pursing my lips and sighing, I replied, "You can keep me."

"I'll keep you here," she said, holding her hand over her heart. "But promise me you'll go and have fun and do all the things you promised yourself. Meet girls and boys and sing and dance and play music if you get the chance, and if you feel comfortable, do all the other exciting things you want to do with them."

"I promise" I whispered, holding my own hand to my chest. "Call me when you come out to Australia, because you will travel one day."

"I most definitely will," she whispered. We hugged again, squeezing tight and she pulled back a little, biting her lip and my tear froze as the snow fell upon us. She leant in and kissed me so very tenderly on the lips, and whilst looking into my eyes, she whispered, "Don't dream it's over."

~0~

Surprisingly, I'd remembered to set my alarm, and fortunately I'd not vomited from last night's drinks. Despite the pounding in my head, all last night was so worth it. Except, I suppose, the part where Wes and Kevin drove my Tanya away.

The photo she'd texted me wasn't a sext message, but one of her puckering her lips in a kissy face and her thumbs and fingers together over her chest in the shape of a heart. She was dressed in her bar clothes and someone must've taken the pic for her, and of course she made me smile.

Hot water eventually arrived at the shower and tried its best to clear my head, as did breakfast of crappy porridge, and these things even worked to some extent. But nothing was clearing the hollow pangs in my heart which let me know something was missing.

Funny, two days ago it was my family and home who I was missing the most, but since then my heart was filled by Tanya. Now I was confused, wanting to skip the tour and go straight to the park to see if she was there.

And I'm sure this is exactly what you want to hear, but alas, when I hauled my blue pack onto my back, and strapped my little day pack to my chest, and made my way through the door onto the street, I walked past the entrance to Tube Station, despite the melted slush up here and the promise of warmth down there.

With gloved hands in coat pockets, I trudged up the street while Ruby Fields was the sound of home in my earbuds, singing about growing fearful with age, singing about Dinosaurs. My warm breath condensed in the cold air when I sang along, Ruby's voice comforting because she sounded like she could be any one of my friends back home.

People were everywhere, and I was anonymous out here, suiting me just fine. A gust of wind blew me along, headed towards the hotel from which my tour was supposed to start. A big red coach was parked out front of the building, where more people were milling about on the footpath. There were some who were middle aged, the rest in their thirties and twenties. Several were obvious couples and maybe the others were singles or groups of friends. But I sensed I'd be the youngest, the general demographic of the group making me feel out of place.

Why? Because it's that little devil on my shoulder who tells me I don't belong with this crowd, I'm too young, perhaps too inexperienced at life, and definitely too tired and hung over right now.

And I missed Tanya, wishing she was here to hold my hand and share the adventure I was about to experience. I sighed, knowing I'd saved for years and signed up for this, and it was the time to gain those life experiences I wanted, and I'd have to do it without my new friend.

The tour director started taking our names while crossing them off a list, then instructing us where to put our luggage. I put my main pack into the storage under the coach and kept hold of my daypack. Another blue pack was placed face up next to mine, and strapped to its front was a black ukulele case. It was covered in several stickers, some with band names and some stickers which looked like they might be venue names, but the sticker sticking out most to me was a large red maple leaf.

I turned to face a girl who looked like she might be in her late teens like me, or perhaps her early twenties. She wore a nose ring through her left nostril and her complexion was pale and lightly freckled, not too dissimilar from my own. Most notably, wavy and dyed green hair spilled from beneath her black beanie, complementing her vibrant green eyes. She smiled, greeting me with a chirpy, "Hey."

A pair of headphones hung around her neck and I removed my earbuds, saying, "Hi. You're Canadian?"

"Was it my big maple leaf that gave it away?"

I shook my head. "Nah, it was your green hair."

"Oh," she replied, before realising I was joking. "I knew you were Australian from the electric blue streaks in your hair."

"You're not the first who guessed it from my hair."

Her smile was shy and suggested she'd not entirely understood my meaning, which was my own little in joke from a couple of days previously anyway. But she spoke cheerily, introducing herself. "I'm, Chelsea."

"I'm Kim. Are you doing the entire two week tour or just part of it?"

"The whole tour. My folk's are from over here and so I thought I'd come and find out all the things they've talked about since I was a kid."

"Cool. I bet they go for the Chelsea soccer club?"

"Dad does! I might be the only girl named for a soccer club, but Daddy would insist it was football."

"Yeah, everyone I speaks to insists it's football. They get violent if you call it soccer. So you're travelling on your own?"

"I am," she nodded. "You?"

"Yep. Do you play your uke?"

"I dabble."

"Great. Hey, it looks like we're boarding."

"So we are." She looked at the coach and then back to me, and bit her bottom lip in the cutest manner. "Um, since we're both travelling alone, would you like to sit with me?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding, thinking how striking her green eyes were. "I can't see why not, thanks."

"Great! Everyone's going to think we're twins."

"I was starting to wonder if we already are."

And her laugh was delightful, making me smile and she smiled back and we boarded the bus.