All Comments on 'Succubus Master Pt. 01'

Good start. I look forward to the next chapter.

This is a really good start, although a bit cliche at times. I’m looking forward to more and highly recommend an editor, as there are a few mistakes throughout

Not too bad my guy, but you were a bit sloppy. If you want to post and not get caught, you gotta cover your tracks better.

Bells don't ring in college dude.

This is relevant to my interests!

Love everything about this. It’s got action, mystery, sexy, silly, erotic and funny all rolled into one story that has so many possibilities that it is bound to be incredible. I look forward to learning more about Rayna and her Incubus master. A complete fiver.

Very nicely done, hoping you turn this into a series!

Nice start. Cute too.

Please 🙏 continue, it's so interesting

Good story but have you any intention of finishing your THE TALES OF THE AURORA series or will this new series fizzle out as well?

Its sad that the first part of the story is all about his disbelief of the happening events.. and he ignores the most important aspects.. what is she, what can she do, what are her goals, will she fuck other men? What are his powers? Will she harm his sister/mom? How can he trust her so easily

A great start of what might become a classic DARK story!

Please work harder on the editing as well as try to find a beta reader. The story was good but the grammar errors and word dyslexia (putting words in the wrong order) were starting to get distracting. Otherwise good start.

A second pass to correct the grammar mistakes as well as clean up some of the story would help.

The first line is my name is Aiden Carter and he is called Max with no explanation at all why. Although it seems you decided to change his name for the rest of the story but didn't go back and change the first line. First time reading I was confused and kept asking who is Max? and why does he go by Max if his name is Aiden?

The intro is something you clearly went back and changed - after all, "high college"? Nor to mention it reading like the absolute dumbest "high school" drama movie.

That being said, the rest of it shows some promise, and hopefully you push yourself and grow as a writer!

I just started reading this story. I have enjoyed it so far. Thank you.

Hello everyone. Thank you for all the comments you leave. Each one helps motivate me to keep writing and become a better writer. Also I've started a Patreon account and could use your help to spread the word. Come join and get early access to stories not on Literotica yet. Link to page is on my profile.

Should have just written dxd fanfic, made her look like Rias? Wtf is the point in getting other girls?

And wtf are all these male characters so stupid in these. Got new powers, impossibly hot demon slave, logical thing is to spend next few days learning everything you can about life changing circumstances....but no... You go to fucking class

The last comment by Anonymous below made some valid points. He needs to learn about and start using his new powers asap.Plus you really need to get a editor to clean up the mistakes that were pointed out by other readers. After saying all that, Its not a bad storyline… ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Well, the point in getting other girls is that he still needs to find Akeno

"Succubus/incubus" are singular.

The plurals are "succubi" and "incubi"

Your writing is a little clumsy, nothing that a good editor would fix though. The plot is engaging having a wealth of directions it can go in. I enjoyed the opening chapter. It was fun. Looking forward to more

5/5

Stopped reading after breast change on page 2. Also page 1 had a couple name changes. Lost interest.

Great, thanks 2the author

What in the fuck did I just read? WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?! Holy fuck this is going to be a Wilde ride.

Wonderful start..

Reading this just as a YouTube video pops on of Gregorian chants lmao! Hmm gotta be a coincidence?!? Right??? ;)