All Comments on 'Succubus Master Pt. 02'

Great story. Need more. 5 stars.

Keep this one going. So many was to go. El, The Cheerleaders, Mom...5 stars

Yore stories knot spelt wright. Ewe kneed moor ayes.

Great story, but one issue that led to a bit of confusion. I think you changed one of Liz's friends names because it seems like she only has 2 friends present but there are three names Kim, Kate, and Zari. I'm assuming Kim and Kate are the same, but it was a little difficult to follow at times.

It should read "we succubi" not "we succubus." The plural of succubus is succubi

I am really enjoying this, like a lot. Once I got past the few grammatical errors, I couldn’t get enough. I can’t wait to see what is going to happen when he gets together with Ella. I hope I get to see him treat Miley like a two dollar whore. I’m not usually into incest, but I would love to see him dominate Liz. Oh the potential. I’m certain you won’t disappoint though, so keep writing.

I'm liking this story a lot but I'm a bit put off by the sexist tropes like tomboy girl next door is nice to protagonist while all the traditional more feminine girls who care about their appearance are mean to him. Only person who breaks this mold is Rayne which is good.

Do I think you're sexist? No but you are unintentionally enforcing the idea that feminine = bad.

Your story is good but…. PLEASE FIND AN EDITOR AND PROOF READER

A proof reader will help but as stated the 3 names and only 2 friends confuses the reader.

Spending a little time with some of the scenes might help; I am still trying to imagine a scenario with Max fucking Rayna with the door ajar and the trio able to check him out without being seen by him and/or making eye contact to get a good look at his changed body to start lusting after it. Other little things where the friends show up downstairs at the end out of nowhere it seems while Liz and her mom chat to deux ex machina

Loving this story; it flows really well and look forward to new chapters. Yeah, reading through the comments... there are some errors; graphical errors but it still flows. Keep writing...

Sorely needs an editor. I don't know if you are typing on a phone or something but this has autocorrect errors all over it.

Kinda makes the story enjoyment lessen a lot.

Excellent story. Thanks.

Yes, excellent story! Might I suggest using Text Aloud v4.0.65. I wish it was out while Editor in Chief years ago but there wasn't Personal Computers out then, lol. It is one of the finest editing tools on the market now. Corrects as you type and then when your done you can run a full Spell Check that you can tailor to your specific needs. I don't write but it reads your stories to me with Jennifer's sexy voice that makes the story much more interesting! For a score? Another 5 BIG FAT ASS FUCKING FLAMING STARS!

The story is 10 out of 10 but to much sex gets boring it robs the plot that's what makes the story but what do I know keep up the good work.

I really wish those stuck up, vain cunts would just disappear, especially his bitch of a sister

But since that's unlikely to happen, I really hope he gets to humiliate his sister, since she's done the same to him seemingly countless times

Mother, sister and her two friends why not ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good fun but my god sort out a proof reader or something. The amount of mistakes in this story is rather high

Somewhat still clumsy, definitely needs an Editor to correct errors and polish the story. But lm having a lot of fun with this romp and am looking forward to the next chapter

5/5