All Comments on 'Succubus Master Pt. 03'

Great chapter! Can't wait for more.

It's going to be fun when El's mom ,the feminist sees the collar.

But if Max takes her then it may be better.

5 stars keep up the good work.X

Loved it. Don't make us wait long for the next chapter.

I liked it and I didn't like it at the same time. I gave it 4 stars cause I like the foundation and I can see where the story beats are and a path where it is going but some of the flow isn't hitting for me.

The voice of the story seems to jump repeatedly from present tense Max in the moment to a past tense Future Max remembrance of the events. We seem to be experiencing Max as he is both going thru the events in real time but also being narrated by a future Max as well who casually drops insights and knowledge or commentary about things. Throwaway lines that boil down to little did I know at the time, but Rayna did a thing and things that Max shouldn't know he seems to rattle off (like Cinthia's thoughts after seeing his huge cock) as if nothing keep knocking me out of the story.

The other thing that seemed off to me was it explodes with the number of females from one to half to many while the world keeps expanding without resolving what was already started. Honestly I would have liked to have seen Cinthia and Liz be collared before El and grow the harem starting with his house but I left this chapter first with whiplash how fast it moved and second with an empty spots with only a bit of Cinthia's night and struggles and almost nothing from Liz where we sort of sped thru introducing yet another female, dropping hints at conflicts to come. and frankly lightning speed which El was fucked and collared.

My only other comment is that I'd like to see or experience more of the struggle either the moral/ethical dilemma of virgin boy turn sex god as he claims his harem (at least the early ones) or failing to succeed. In the 3 days of the story it seems he went from easily pushed around to proficient at everything he tries. Rayna as succubus seems fine as she is doing the amoral things necessary to survive and live; Max is a "good guy" yet he doesn't seem to struggle with any of this from killing the Priest to fucking El. Where raging hormones and jealousy should kick in an his inner carnal beast take over he plays cool or goes with the flow; one would hope even the slightest reluctance of fucking his mom an sis but after one flippant exposition by Rayna he seems down to doing it. At least with Cinthia (but not Liz) we saw a struggle and temptation the next morning, which provided some depth to her character which seems undone by how easily Max moves onto acceptance of the entire situation.

Looking forward to the next one!

Story with supernatural entities and a character is a voracious meat eater? Calling it now: Ella is a werewolf.

Wait, if the mom got 20 million from the settlement, why prostitute herself for some extra commission from real estate? Even 10 million is the equivalent of a 100,000 annual salary for 100 years. SHE GOT TWICE THAT. Even with some very conservative investments, and an average lifestyle, her family was more than set for life. She did not need to suck dick to make ends meet. So, why did she do it? This seems to me like she's a literal slut/whore; she fucks strangers for money she doesn't even need.

Can you imagine finding out this was your mom? How could he ever look her in the face again, much less want her to be a part of his harem. Imagine that, "Oh, you get to fuck your super hot mom? Well, you and everyone else, bud." Imagine having your pick of women and choosing a prostitute, who is also your mom.

It's so funny to think of Max remembering a time when his mom came home super happy she got a huge commission at work. What did she do? Suck some dude's dick? Let him fuck her pussy? Her ass? Both? Worse? Now he gets to think of that every time he looks at her.

She should not be part of the harem.

Great new chapter in the books. Read a few of the comments and like to share my thoughts. In regards to @PhysicallyImpossible, sure Max's mother is loaded but being home all the time would get boring fast. I think she wants to be independent, hence why she is a Real Estate Agent. As for the sucking her clients off; I think she does it for two reasons: a power trip, getting people off by getting over asking price on properties and lastly, perhaps she does like sucking cock. The writer clearly stated that she hasn't dated anyone since Max's father. I think she misses having a strong man in her life. Plus the two guys that she really enjoyed, have left her in some way.

Plus, who knows that this happened all the time. We just read this now; perhaps all those dreams, she had last night and seeing her son's member, pushed her over the edge to get some satisfaction. Perhaps in her mind, she was envisioning her son's cock in her mouth.

I, for one, am looking forward to the continuation of this story. I hope, with Rayna's help that his harem does happen. He is half-demon and needs that mana exchange. With that said, I hope we do see him with lots of girls, including his mom and his sister. I am with the MC, his sister has treated him sourly most of his life; time for pay back.

In regards to @RedPandaSeven, yes, 3 days is kinda fast; from normal guy to god-like powers. I think Rayna, is a good teacher and lends a hand to her new master. He learns a lot in a short time frame on how to pleasure a lady. Plus all that pent up sexual energy, finally being released. As for El, those feelings have been there for so long for the both of them. Max, being transformed, gave him the confidence to get those feelings out and share. As for his mom and sister; he did have thoughts on both of them prior to meeting Rayna. Rayna, just dreamwalked on every woman's dreams in a 100 foot radius and planted those seeds. Plus both of them seen his cock and those thoughts have sticked in there minds. Yeah, there should be some rational about these thoughts about sleeping with his immediate family. But again, he isn't the same Max, he is half demon. Those thoughts of rational are tossed out of the window, so to speak. Rayna is just helping her Master get the mana he needs to survive and fulfilling his desires.

I hope, going forward, that Max has the ability to plant suggestions in not just women's mind but men as well. I hope he gets back at the jock and girlfriend that bully him in college.

The only issue I have: is it Rayna or Rayne... It's confusing when both are being used in the story. Oh and shorting her name down to Ray, not nice.

Ye no, characters feel flat. And lazy writing by just stating certain characters look like actors from shows me shit

I'm sorry, you finally lost me. A first person narrator (a person telling their own story) cannot know what another person is thinking or what they do when the narrator isn't there. If you had told the story in the third person it would have been so much better. Every time I lost myself in your story, I would hit one of these inconsistencies and it would pull me out of your world and I'd find myself critiquing your style rather than enjoying it.

It's such a pity because, apart from the ridiculous twelve inch dick trope, you had a nice idea developing.

"This might complicate things."

Ya think?

Please ignore these cucks in the comment section. This is a harem story with great attention to detail when it comes to Succubus lore. This is hands down one of the best stories I've read on here. Please keep it up. Cheers!

Good story.

The alcohol and Rayna's role in Ella's seduction are lame: it is Max who ought to have seduced Ella, either with orr without his incubus powers.

I love how you claimed his mom wasn't a slut when you told us about MC and his sister having two different dads only to make her a total slut and whore now. Classy.