Such Stuff as Dreams are Made Ch. 04

Anna and Natalie were easier to read, but their fixed faces and uncommunicative eyes hardly gave the impression that they felt comfortable with what was happening.

I sighed. It was exhausting trying to take care of them all and I hoped I wouldn't have to pressurise them into going through with anything. I lay back, shut my eyes, and fantasised the day's progress. I talked myself through exactly what I had to do. By the time the train pulled into the station, I was once more confident and composed.

My first sight of Owen was along the length of the station and my confidence flittered away as if it had never even been there. John and Owen waved at us as we alighted, but right then they were unknown to me as two men ever had been. I hadn't talked about this with either of them in person, and it was only at that moment that I realised just how dangerous that could be. They were masculine, and physically unknown, as good as two men awaiting their mail-order brides for a night of wild passion ahead. Did they have a cellar in the basement? Or a house in the woods? It was like a fairy tale, a warped Angela Carter fairy tale. Blood red lips and pale faces drained of blood and confidence by the enormity of the weekend awaiting us. Very erotic. But terrifying too. I was so glad that Ben was with us.

After a quick hug and peck on the cheek I introduced them to Natalie and Anna, before we made our way to the car. Owen drove the 45 minutes from the station to their house, and I sit up front with him. We make small talk for a while, but soon run out of things to say. I reached over and tuned the radio to a run-of-the-mill chart station. That David Gray song, Babylon was playing, and I hummed along absent-mindedly. It was replaced by The Real Slim Shady and I realised this might be a good chance to break the tension. I rapped along abysmally to chuckles of laughter from the back. By the time it was replaced by Pure Shores, Anna and Natalie were singing along quietly with me.

It was a warm day, our windows were down, and our singing battled with the air rushing around the car. I noticed Owen looking over at me, and smiled back at him. The talk with Mum had made things seem so easy. But here I was without a clue how to reach over and tell Owen how much I wanted to be with him. I turned around and smiled at all my friends in the back. Being the centre of attention in a non-sexual scenario had never been something I was comfortable with, but for the rest of the journey I did my best to maintain a bright and breezy tone, singing badly, and encouraging others to join me. Sometimes they did, sometimes not, but at least they were smiling and laughing when the car pulled into the drive at John and Owen's. I jumped from the car, and smelt the fresh country air.

Show time.

The knots in my stomach were nothing compared to the tingling of my clitoris as I looked around at the quiet country lane and the strong, stone cottage.

'You guys coming?' I called over my shoulder, and followed Owen into the house.

I spent the next couple of hours unloading the car and setting up the equipment. It wasn't heavy, but I had to screw the brackets into the walls which took a bit of effort. Downstairs I could hear the others cracking open the alcohol. It was not easy to find good places to locate the microphones, but after a bit of searching I managed to scatter 4 small, short distance ones around the bed and desk, and attach the overhead boom mic above the bed. The wires from these ran neatly back to the cameras located on each of the walls and pointing directly at the bed. I placed two large wall hanging lamps above the cameras to reduce shadow, and then did a quick test to make sure everything was working. It was, and I added the final finishing touches to each of the rooms – new red duvets and pillows and a fresh white sheet for the bed, red wall hangings for the rest of the room – made sure the bag of toys was at hand underneath the bed, and scattered red scented candles around the room. I switched on the cameras, and microphones and then moved on to the other three rooms in the house, where I affixed a camera and microphone in each of them, and changed the bedding.

With the rooms finished I went to the bathroom and changed into a new set of red lacy lingerie, low-cut top and short denim skirt. Before heading downstairs I stopped in front of the mirror to see I looked okay.

I barely recognised the girl who stared back at me. Her hair cascaded across her shoulders and down her back. Half her breasts were exposed, a deep canyon of cleavage visible between them. Her legs were long and toned, rising up to a pair of high hips that begged to be ridden. She looked nothing like the shy inexperienced girl I had felt myself to be every single day of my life. The girl in the mirror was a vixen, a temptress, some kind of sex-goddess who seemed to know not only what wanted but how to get it too.

They had loosened up while I was away: Ben and Owen were joking around, Anna was talking quietly with John, and Natalie was pouring a glass of wine.

'I'll have one if there's spare,' I said as I walked in, and felt all eyes turn to me. 'Glad you are getting on.'

Natalie stood up and walked over to bring me my wine and mouthed 'you look stunning,' as she handed it to me. I smiled, and winked at her.

'Well, the rooms upstairs are all ready.'

'You work quickly,' replied Ben.

'Thanks,' I laughed, and sat down on the floor, stretching my legs to make sure everyone could see as much skin as possible. I sipped my wine and listened to the conversations around me, thinking things through in my head. Anna was joking with Ben, and soon John joined in. Owen came up behind me.

'How are you?'

'Scared' I replied. 'You?'

'The same. But excited too.'

What great words to hear. 'Me too.'

'What have you been doing this summer.'

The words came easily and we were soon chatting like the old friends we were. At one point his hand rested on my bare shoulder, and a strand of hair hung across his brow. I tried hard to focus on the conversation, but found it difficult to focus. I had fitted the best camera on the ceiling right above his bed, and within a few hours, should all go to plan, he would be penetrating me for the first time under its glare. It was enough to distract any girl.

'Hey guys,' Natalie called from the doorway and we turned to see her standing there in a red dress, hair flung around her shoulders, freshly changed and made up. I hadn't even noticed she had left the room. There was a collective intake of breath: she looked stunning. I smiled brightly at her, and stood to cross the room and kiss her cheek, making sure to press my breasts lightly against hers. If they weren't turned on already, they had to be now. Natalie crossed the room to sit in her chair at the table, but I stood where I was, aware that it was time to act. I took a deep breath and looked down at my feet.

'I guess its time to get down to business.'

The room was silent.

'The first thing I need to check is whether everyone is still up for this?' I looked around the room, trying to be as non-threatening as possible. No-one quite caught my gaze, but no-one spoke out either.

'I'll take that as tacit consent. If anyone does want to pull out you should say so now.'

Again they were silent.

'Now lets check out the nitty gritty. I have contracts here, which I need each of you to sign, saying that you consent to be in this movie, and that you give permission for your image to be caught on camera and used in any way the producers see fit. Please note, that if you sign this form, you are each agreeing to be naked in front of everyone in this room, and to engage in sexual activity with others in this room. There are no specifics of what you will be required to do, but it must be accepted that you are willing to have full intercourse, as well as both give and receive oral and manual sex. I know you are already aware of this, but if you have a problem with anything I have just said, please speak up now. If not, sign and date at the bottom.'

No-one said anything. I waited, trying to keep control of my nerves. Here we were. My fantasy all rested on these five decisions. I cast my gaze from face to face, as their eyes read down the page, and slowly, one by one, they signed the forms. Ben first, followed by Anna, John, Natalie, and finally Owen. I smiled, and couldn't help but let out a yelp of excitement. A weight was lifted from my shoulders, and for the first time in my life I felt comfortable letting other people know that I wanted to be sexual with them. I wanted these people to know how much I wanted to make love to them; I wanted to open myself to their judgement.

They smiled back at me, and Ben laughed.

'Oops. I guess I shouldn't be open about that excitement!'

'You go, girl,' winked Anna.

'I think we should take this up to the bedroom. Is that okay?' Natalie stood and helped John up. Ben did the same for Natalie. 'Now remember, this first day is all about getting to know each other and our bodies, it is about discovering what we like doing and having done to us, where our boundaries are, and what works best for our friends. It is about losing our inhibitions, and learning new techniques. Lets leave our doubt and uncertainty here, and go upstairs as 6 healthy eighteen year olds ready and eager to discover the joy of sex. Is everybody with me?'

'You bet ya ass we are,' called Ben.

'Bring up that bottle,' added John.

'If anyone needs to change before we get started, now's the time.'

From here on you've seen what happened. There's plenty of sex: some of it hesitant and suffused with care and attention; some harder and faster; even some perverted experimentation later on. But these days I'm less sure whether what you see in the film provides sufficient understanding of what took place.

The eyes can be hungry organs, especially where sex is concerned. But their appetite tends to be rather short-sighted, satisfying the bodies' lust for gratification and then moving on. They rarely connect the action with the thought and feeling driving it; lack the ability to see more than two dimensions.

That's where erotic literature comes in. Sex with another person is a holistic experience. It isn't just about sight or taste or smell or sound or even the feel of two bodies coming together. It is the confluence of all of these senses within a sentient mind. What is truly remarkable about the brain is that it is able to experience things on a number of simultaneous levels. It can experience immediate pleasure, but even while giving itself totally to the sense bombarding it, be aware of where these sensations sit in the context of all that has gone before, and also to store them away to be reflected on and revisited at leisure.

Although it contained all the experimentation and boundary pushing that I fantasised, the sex that we shared that weekend was not the sex of a porn film. It was the sex of the first time, when every action, every touch, taste, smell, sound and sight contains within it our hopes and fears for the people we wish to be, the lives we wish to live. It brings together the anticipations and frustrations of many a long night alone with the immediacy of experiencing every sensation for the very first time. Responses are genuine rather than predicated upon past experience, even the effort to control responses is a response in itself.

And it is all suffused with the atmosphere of discovery. Like an explorer setting off to experience a new landscape for the first time, so to the virgin enters their first time eager to encounter things they have only hitherto imagined. And while Wordsworth may grieve in The Prelude for the usurping of reality on imagination, he fails to appreciate how empty that imagination may have grown without testing itself against reality. It is where reality and imagination come together, where fantasies are challenged to develop and evolve after genuine experience. That is the landscape in which the mind works best.

So even if you have seen this movie a million times, even if you can moan along with our every moan, and cum on demand at the same instant as each of us...even then read on, because the story behind the movie is a thousand times hotter than the movie itself.

The room in which we first congregated was generally used as a study, though it converted to a guest bedroom when there were visitors. It had a large double bed in it, but also bookshelves, a small sink, and a vast oak desk at the far end. Two windows looked out over the garden so that green light reflected in off foliage.

We arranged ourselves around the room while Anna took a few minutes to change and the boys made a hasty dash to freshen up. When at last we were all in the room – whatever Anna had changed into hidden beneath her everyday clothes – I took a swig of wine and positioned myself so that I was looking directly into one of the cameras.

'The first thing to say is that you should all ignore the cameras and lighting. These are here so we get used to acting naturally around them. I need to learn how to get the best from the equipment so they need to be on, but none of this footage will be used in the final movie. Is that okay with everyone?'

They nodded.

'I think it is best if we get used to speaking about ourselves sexually, and seeing each other as sexual people. Let's start by introducing ourselves to each other and clarifying exactly what we have and haven't done sexually and romantically in our lives.'

General nodding, though no replies.

'Okay, I'll go first. My name is Amelia, I am eighteen years old, and I am a virgin. I have never kissed anyone romantically, and no-one has ever touched me sexually. However, I masturbate regularly, and am pretty experimental with my own body. Everyone in this room has seen me masturbate and I've been lucky enough to have done so with both Anna and Natalie. I am bisexual and am incredibly turned on by each and every person in this room. When I masturbate, I often like to put a finger, or vibrator in my bum and, as well as many other things I particularly hope to try anal sex this weekend. I can't wait to see what semen tastes like, and hope I can give you each as much pleasure as possible over the coming days.'

There were smiling faces looking at me, though no-one made to follow. 'Who's next?'

No-one volunteered so I nodded towards Anna as she stood nearest to me.

'Well, okay, I guess.......' she began falteringly. 'How do I follow that!? My name is Anna, and I am eighteen too. And a virgin too. I have kissed a couple of boys, but nothing more than that. I...well, sure I masturbate too, though Amelia had to show me how before I enjoyed it. Now I like it a lot, and as she says, we have masturbated together a few times. I'm pretty much straight, though I do think girls looks sexy naked. I don't know what else to say. Except, well. Okay. What we're doing here is crazy. I mean totally crazy. If our parents knew about this they'd have a fit. But that's why I wanted to do it. I don't know if this makes sense or not, but it's the crazyness that made me want to say yes to doing it. I don't know what's going to happen. But I'd like to say thank you for whatever follows. Whatever else, it'll be a once in a lifetime experience.'

I clapped and the others joined in. Then motioned for Owen to follow.

'Hi, I'm Owen, and I too am an eighteen year old virgin. I have kissed one girl, and we fooled about a bit as well, but I have never been fully naked with anyone before.... Well, no that is a lie actually. I was almost fully naked with Amelia once. But apart from that, nothing. Of course I masturbate, and I have done it in the same room as other boys before, but not with them, if you know what I mean. I like...you know...the usual stuff, and I hope you guys enjoy this weekend. Oh, and I'm definitely straight.'

Another round of applause.

'I'm John, and I'm straight too. My body is completely virgin territory. I'm twenty now, and had my first romantic kiss when I was about thirteen. I've made out with a few girls since then but the furthest I went with anyone was to touch their breasts. I have only started masturbating recently, and like most of the people here, it seems it was inspired by Amelia's antics last time she was here. And in the interests of full disclosure, she has seen me naked as well. If this weekend is half as sexy as that time was, then we are all in for one hell of a treat. Wouldn't you agree Ben?'

'Sure would, John. I'm Ben, I'm Amelia's brother, and I am a virgin too, technically. I have done stuff with girls, even had oral sex once. But that is as far as I have gone. I'm almost twenty now, and this all happened in the last year. I've kissed a few girls, but not had a real relationship or anything yet. Anyway, I grew up with Amelia, I've seen her naked many times, and the image of her masturbating here a few months ago remains indelibly marked upon my consciousness. I can't believe we are here like this, and I don't think anyone in the world other than Amelia could have found herself in this bizarre situation. But I know it's going to be a lot of fun for us all and I can't wait to get started.'

The tension had melted by now, there was barely time for a few claps before Natalie had started. 'And I'm Natalie, I'm eighteen like Anna and Amelia and I don't know any of you as well as you know each other, but I'm excited and nervous to be here today. I can't believe this is actually going to happen, and I don't know how I am going to do this. I'm a virgin, and don't have a clue about what to do sexually, I hope you will all bear with me, and I hope I am good for you all. I definitely want to do this. I haven't kissed anyone properly, and no-one has ever touched me or anything like that. But I have watched some pornography recently and I am totally fascinated with masturbating. I especially like it when I touch my nipples, and play with my breasts: if anyone wants to do that to me, I guess you can be my guest. I don't know specifically what I am most looking forward to this weekend, though I do know that I get wet thinking about it, and that I can't wait to get started. I don't know whether I'm straight or bisexual, but I hope I get a chance to try everything with all of you. I went on the pill specifically for this weekend. Basically, I'm ready and willing. Treat me gently, okay?'

Final introduction done, we clapped us all.

'Thanks Natalie. You've all got me a whole lot more excited. It's nice that we all seem to be looking forward to this. I think it goes without saying that I am too, though like many of you I don't know how I'll react once things get under way. So I'd like to ask that right here and now we agree to a few ground rules. First, as Natalie said, be gentle. We are all new at this so take things slowly, and make sure you check regularly that whatever you are doing is enjoyable for the other person.'

Nods all round.

'Secondly, and most importantly of all. Respect each other. Each of us has decided to be here because we want to discover more about ourselves and our sexualities, but that doesn't mean anyone here is a slut or a player or any other term that imposes a power inequality on our interactions. We are six equals, and will remain so throughout. If anybody says no at any point, we will stop immediately and go from there. Okay?'

More nods.

'Finally, and most important of all: have fun. Sex is meant to be fun. So if something goes wrong and you cum too soon, or choke on something or fart or anything else, don't worry. We're all amateurs, we're all liable to make mistakes. Just try to laugh as much as possible and I just know this will be the best weekend of our entire lives. Okay?'