Summer's Eve Pt. 04

After Midnight.

The clock on the veranda had shown twenty-five minutes past midnight. Helena's eyes moved from the sky to the dark forest across the field. What had Jack meant? Why had he spoken to her again after having discarded her so willingly yesterday? Just why? She had no answers.

Was he waiting for her?

Helena decisively shook her head. No. She would not even acknowledge that possibility. She was over and done with this. Helena headed home. She closed and locked the door and then made her way back to the bedroom. Lars was waiting for her, and she was happy to slide down in the bed beside him.

"Good night." Helena kissed him lightly on the mouth.

"Good night."

Lars was already half asleep, but Helena did not hold it against him. It had been a long day and he had got up early in the morning in order to go shopping. Helena turned around with her back to him and put her head on the pillow. It was late and she needed to get back into normal sleeping schedule. In less than a week she would be back at home, and in another week she would go back to the office. Paperwork and meetings. After having done nothing but being lazy for so long she actually looked forward to it. She wanted her normal life back and be free from this bizarre dream that these last couple of days had turned into. Still thinking of home she slowly felt asleep, drifting off to the world of dreams.

But now she was just fooling herself. Drifting off? She was fully awake and she knew it, and no amount of attempted self-hypnosis could change that. Helena remained painfully alert and staring into the darkness. There was nothing left but to endure the nothingness and slow crawl of time. This was going to be a long, agonizing night. Just her luck. There was an eternity till dawn. But as the minutes passed and she just lay there, Helena realized something that she had desperately tried to repress this entire evening. This realization made her icy cold inside.

She had to know what Jack had meant.

****

The phone showed 01.35 AM. It was the middle of the night by most accounts. The world was silent, with not even a wind present to rustle through leaves and canopies. There was not a soul around, and the only witnesses to Helena, as she walked through the dark forest, was the moon and stars, staring down at her through the treetops. Besides them were only two companions with her tonight - her breathing and her footsteps. She lowered her phone and continued walking, allowing her eyes to once more adjust to the darkness and deep shadows of the forest. Again. Why was she doing this to herself again? She had walked this same forest path yesterday only to get humiliated. Helena had promised herself to forget about all of this, several times in fact. Yet here she was once more. The flowery dress fluttered with an a soft rustle around her legs as she walked. The air was surprisingly cold against her naked arms and calves, and she shuddered. She suspected, however, that it was not only due to the nightly chill.

Helena needed an answer. Jack was an asshole, but she just had to know what he had meant. If she denied herself that she would find no peace for days, maybe weeks. Maybe forever. There was no denying the fact that it was stupid of her, or the simple truth that he had left such an incredible mark on her and withered away all of her self-control in just a matter of days. No self-respecting woman with an ounce of dignity would depart on a nightly expedition like this, even if it was only to check whether her treacherous lover had been lying to her a second time. Perhaps Helena was no self-respecting woman. It was a realization that she was forced to accept. Now she needed an answer.

The moon was shimmering in the pure, mirror-like disk of the lake. It was like last night all over again, a real déjà-vu. Not a sound, not a person or animal around. Just the silence of the night. Helena stopped in the tree line, turning the light on her phone off to not interfere with her night vision. She stared at the beach. If Jack wasn't there she would be able to go home with at least that tormenting mystery solved. She would be free to return to the shame and guilt of her actions and her struggle to atone for them. Helena was not a religious person, and the times she had been to church could probably be counted on one hand. But now, as she scanned the shadows on the sandy beach, she prayed for Jack not to be there.

If God was real, tonight he was most definitively an asshole of epic proportions.

Helena saw him. A lonely dark figure was sitting on one of the tree stumps at the beach. At this distance and in the darkness it was hard to tell, but it seemed like it was watching the lake. Helena's entire body froze, and with it her breath. She did not dare make a sound, terrified that he would hear her. Why did he have to be here, why did he have to make her life so damn hard? She considered pinching herself, just to prove that this was a nightmare and not reality. Maybe she would get lucky and this entire stay at the cottage would turn out to be a really weird fever dream. Nails dug into her exposed left arm, and her nerves responded with pain as they ought to do. Unless this dream was able to simulate pain, this had to be real. Helena stood frozen in place, trying to figure out what to do.

Walk away.

Stay.

Go forward.

Skip the last two, she had to get out of here - she had gotten answer. Jack had not lied tonight. But why? Why had he not turned up yesterday?

Walk away, Helena. This is your only chance.

Helena's right foot rose and took a step. The left one followed suit, slowly bringing her closer. If not for the sharpness of everything - from the chill of the air to the sound of her own heartbeat - she would have been sure that she was still asleep.

The dark figure had remained still like a statue, but now it stirred. The head turned and Helena shivered. They stared at each other, their faces barely illuminated by the moonlight. Helena's heart went into overdrive, threatening to shatter her ribs and fly out of her chest. Her muscles tensed, preparing themselves to run, but the command to actually turn and disappear into the forest never actually came.

"I want to talk, if that's okay with you."

How could he sound so calm when speaking to her? Helena's eyes darted from Jack to the forest behind her. It was not that far to its protective darkness. The flip flops would slow her down, but if she dropped them she could deal with the pain of having to run barefoot. Jack took a step forward and she nudged backwards. He stopped and she stopped as well. Standoff.

"Helena."

He said her name again. Why did it make her feel so strange inside? The logical part of her brain was screaming to her to turn and just run. The rest of her... was not sure. Jack was wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of shorts. His dark skin made him appear as little more as a dark silhouette against the silvery shimmer of the lake.

"Why would I?" she tensely asked.

"Because I want to explain. And apologise. You can go if you want. I won't try and stop you. But I would want to talk to you."

"You think it's okay to just to lie to someone?" she felt the anger boiling up inside of her, and she welcomed it. It gave her voice some much needed strength. "You know how much I risked coming here yesterday, just to realize that you weren't even planning on coming?"

"I can explain."

"Sure you can." Helena's grip of her phone grew tighter. "But I guess I'm the one to blame. For listening to you and coming here. It was a big mistake."

He listened to her in silence, but Helena could almost physically feel his gaze wandering over her. Her dress and blonde hair probably stood out in the darkness.

"First of all, I'm sorry."

Jack took a step forward, and Helena took another backwards.

"I'm a stupid, stupid person." she said, and made a loud, frustrated snorting sound. "Coming here again. Risking everything, just to know if you were going to be here or not."

"But here I am." he still sounded incredibly calm. It was starting to really bother her. "Look. I wanted to come here yesterday. I really did."

"What stopped you?" she interrupted him and challengingly cocked her head to the side. "Hm? But I guess you were too busy with that redhead girl. Although I should probably thank you for making me understand just how stupid I have been.

"Will you listen or not?"

Helena laughed, but it was more of a sad cackle than a laugh. She was wasting her time.

"Sure I will."

"Yesterday I and the others were going out of town." Jack said, as mockingly calm as before. "We were supposed to go back before the evening, but then we were caught up on a friend's party."

"Really?" Helena made sure to pour as much venomous sarcasm into her voice as possible. "That is what happened, wasn't it?"

"It was. My own car was left here, so I couldn't go back by myself. There are no busses that go out here. I wanted to come and meet you yesterday, but I couldn't. I'm sorry for that. Really sorry."

She laughed again. This time the sound was even sadder than before.

"Sure you were."

"I would have warned you if I could. Maybe I could have whined enough for us to go home early. But I didn't, and that's my fault. I was not planning to just leave you hanging like I did. That's all I can say. And if you think that 'that redhead' is my girlfriend or that I'm banging her, you're wrong. I'm not. Yeah. That's what I had to say."

Jack sighed and put his hands on his hips. Helena's eyes had now properly adjusted to the darkness, and she saw now that he was looking down at the ground between his feet.

"So yeah." Jack continued. Now he sounded tired. "If you want to go - go. I have no right to stop you. If you want to stay - stay. I got two bottles of beer. We could talk, if you want. If not..." he trailed off to silence. Then he cleared his throat and then added; "The only thing I regret is that it had to end like this."

Helena did not answer him. Partly to spite him, partly because she did not know what else to do but keep the silence. Jack looked at her for a couple of more seconds, then turned and returned to the stump he had been sitting on. Helena found herself staring at her back. This was the perfect opportunity to leave. But she did not take it. She was a terrible faithless bitch, she knew that. The sand whisperingly crackled beneath her feet as she walked across the beach. Jack raised his head and glanced back at her. Helena picked one of the stumps, adjusted her dress and sat down, hands on her lap. The awkward silence that ensued made her sigh loudly and cover her face.

"Just give me the fucking beer."

A bottle was lying in the sand by Jack's feet. He picked it up and pulled the cap of with his fingers. Helena did not even comment on this feat, just put the bottle to her mouth and swallowed a big mouthful of the drink inside

"I hate beer." she said staring out at the lake. "I don't understand why people drink it."

"You don't have to drink it."

"Yes I do." she retorted and took another big sip.

They sat in silence. Jack just held his beer, his eyes looking out at the lake. Helena drank hers, not really sure why. It was true that she hated beer - especially cheap pilsner like this one - but given the shittiness of this entire situation it felt appropriate. After some time Jack joined her drinking by taking a couple of sips, but his bottle was almost empty already.

"Who is the redhead girl?" Helena wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Elin. She's a friend."

"She looked very friendly when you were sitting here earlier."

"I think she likes me."

Helena sniggered. "You don't say."

"Yeah. I had plans on hooking up with her earlier."

"You did?" Helena hoped that no bitterness came through in her voice. "What's stopping you? It's not like you have any problem with picking up women.

"I don't want to." Jack looked at her. "I'm sure you don't believe me, but I decided not to try. Not while this whole thing is going on."

"What thing?" Helena shook her head. So many thoughts and emotions were coming up to the surface now, some of them even threatening to come out of her mouth. Her next comment surprised her in its sheer, unadulterated vulgarity. "The thing with you fucking me? Why should that stop you?"

"Because I want to figure this out first."

"There's nothing to figure out. I am stupid, faithless bitch who is cheating on her husband with you. That is all there is to it."

"Hm. You know..." he hesitated for several seconds before continuing. "I was supposed to go home today. My friend's party here is over, and most of us have gone home already. There are like five of us left."

Helena weighed the bottle in her hands. The cheap pilsner taste was everywhere in her mouth.

"Are you..." her forehead furrowed somewhat. "Are you trying to tell me that you..." the thought was incredibly bizarre.. "Stayed for my sake?"

"I wanted to apologise." Jack said. "I don't like leaving things unfinished like this."

"And if I didn't come to the beach today?" Helena asked. "What would you do in that case?"

"I don't know. I was thinking about that the entire night. I'm glad that I caught you when I did."

Helena stared at the bottle in her hands. Somehow she had already managed to drink a third of it. "Were you planning on sneaking through the garden of my in-laws cottage just to apologise to me?"

"I don't know." he said solemnly. "As I said, I'm glad I caught you when I did."

Helena took another swig.

"I see."

"My friend that owns the cottage goes home the day after tomorrow. I will leave early that morning. I have a long way ahead.

Helena put the down the bottle in the sand, but it lost balance and tipped over. A stream of cool beer splashed against her foot, causing her kick it away in irritation. After having bounced and rolled, spewing its contents everywhere, it came to a stop. Both she and Jack stared at it. He put his head back and emptied his bottle, then threw it. It landed softly and almost soundlessly in a dune of sand a few metres away from where they sat.

"Jack." Helena mumbled, making sure not to look at him too much. "I..."

Was she really about to tell him this? She knew that it was stupid, but her tongue seemed intent on blabbering no matter what.

"You have really, really messed up world."

"I know."

"Is that all you have to say?" Helena could not help but chuckle at the bluntness of his reply. Like her laughter, the chuckle was anything but happy.

"I don't know what else to say."

"Heh. I don't know what to do." Helena whispered, aware that the dams she had built up inside of her were cracking and breaking apart. "These last few days have been... just fucking insane. I can't get them out of my head. Every day... every fucking day has been like an eternity of... I..."

Her throat clenched and her eyes began to water.

"I..."

The words pouring out did not form any coherent sentences. With cheeks burning with shame she covered her face. She tried to contain the flood, keep herself from breaking down into pathetic crying. It swelled within her, growing larger and larger and more painful to keep at bay. Her shoulders were already shaking, and the first angry sob escaped her throat.

There were steps in the sand. Through the veil of tears she saw Jack kneel before her. His big arms wrapped around her in a warm embrace, and her head automatically fell against his shoulder. Helena was still trying to contain her crying and take a hold of herself, but it proved impossible. She quietly cried in Jack's arms, cursing him and herself for everything.

"I hate you."

He did not answer, only held her closer. Helena buried her face in between his neck and shoulder, using his t-shirt as a tissue to wipe her eyes. Her short, sharp breaths filled her nose with his scent. It was musky, with a tint of body spray or deodorant mixed in. Each breath filled her lungs with it. Tears were still running down her cheeks and that lump in her throat remained, but she was not sobbing anymore. Helena rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, and when she lowered it and looked up she found herself practically eye to eye with Jack. She did not think anymore. She just kissed him, pressing her full lips against his in a nervous, careful kind of way. His mouth parted somewhat and softened, inviting her to continue. When she withdrew to wipe her face again he closed the distance, and now it was he kissing her. His tongue probed against her lips, pried them open and made its way inside. Large and deliciously slimy it filled her mouth. Her own tongue rose to meet it and they collided in a gentle match for dominance, swirling around each other in their struggle. Helena's hands moved and now they were touching his chest and sides through the t-shirt. She felt the hard muscles beneath the fabric and traced their shapes up and down. Their mouths parted, but instead of leaving her his lips ventured onto her neck and collarbone, caressing and kissing her skin. Helena stifled one final sob time and wiped her eyes against the fabric hiding his large shoulder. Meanwhile Jack was moving downwards, and now his lips were already at her cleavage. Feather light kisses, sometimes accompanied with licks, travelled across the upper parts of her breasts. Helena let him do it. Disappointment came when he did not continue to release her bosom from its confines. She had not put on a bra before sneaking out of the cottage to avoid having dig around longer than necessary in the wardrobe. Now her hard nipples were brushing against the fabric of the dress. But instead of tending to them Jack's head and mouth continued downwards, as did his hands. They slowly slid down her waist, then went on to hips and thighs. Then his hands found their way beneath the dress, and Helena finally realized where this was going.

Jack's fingers found her panties, grabbed a hold and pulled them off. Helena rose up a little from the stump to allow Jack to slide the useless piece of clothing down her legs, and soon they were lying in the sand. Her legs were spread and Jack's head disappeared under the skirt Helena's entire body was covered with goose bumps, and her breaths were already short and sharp.

"Oh."

The first thing she felt was his hot breath against her labia. When his tongue touched her lips for the first time she loudly gasped, and her hands gripped for his head through the fabric of the dress. He licked her, slowly and teasingly, starting out from below and then going all the way up to her clit. From there it went down again, then up. The tongue was delicate and almost weightless against her wet, engorged lips. God she was wet, she could feel it now. Now he was on her clit - still at first, then she felt him kiss that entire area. Moments later the tongue circled that incredibly little cluster of nerve endings with a swirling motion. Helena part moaned, part gasped again, even louder this time. Her head bent backwards and she found herself staring at the night sky. She almost tipped over backwards from the wooden stump in the process, but regained control at the last moment. Instead she pushed herself forward, spreading her legs even further apart and basically pressing her sex into Jack's face. His mouth was electrical, everywhere at once and pleasing her in ways that she had not experienced for a long time. The sensations were entirely different from when he fucked her, but were no less good. Sometimes it was like his lips and tongue barely touched her and only hovered above her skin. Their sheer presence made electrical bolts and discharges appear and shoot into her, twisting and pinching her nerves and making her entire body shiver with delight. Sometimes he was more intense, and she could feel his tongue probing between her lips and into her wet cunt, moving just around and inside the very entrance but never delving deeper. His fingers were there too, touching her when his mouth moved away, rubbing, circling and teasing her clit. He made her legs shake, made her want to clench them around his head in a strangling embrace. Only the desire to feel more kept them spread, all the way until she could not take it anymore.