All Comments on 'Sunbathing Alternate Ending'

Now I have to go back and read the original

This was not an alternate ending. this was chapter 2

I love this ending

Loved the alternate ending. It picked up where sunbathing left off.

Wifie should show integrity and tell hubby before leaving him.

Need a part 3 with another young pick up while Deseree is away on a business trip.

Whoa! Great Writing, Great Story, Great Effort. 5 big Blazing Stars. However, it is still just a cheating wife story, regardless of how hot it is. People cheat all the time, Hearts are broken every day. Good reading, How many of my old girl friends or wives could this be the story of . LOL All of them, probably. Thanks Good Job on this story. Buster2U

Hot Hot Sex!

But again I found a couple things that didn't fit.

When she walked into the house and found him sitting there naked, i pictured them in his kitchen.

The suddenly they were on his bed. Is the bed on the 1st floor? When he mentioned earlier that he had an upstairs?

And when they were done, he rolled over onto the floor, no longer in bed.

I hate to nit pick, but please try to avoid these types of mistakes in the future, it will make your stories much better to read.

I want to focus on the Hot Sex! ;->

So hot but there are distractions in the writing. You’re a talented writer but definitely need some polishing. I edit others’ stories and could help you if you’d like.

Hot detailed sex, but this and the first part have no real build up or plot; like surfing porn and watching random scenes. That’s not a bad thing, but as a story it could be so much more.

Non sequitur.

Senseless jumble.

Only rection was "Hunh?"

Other than that, just another grim reminder - it's not a matter of "if", but "when".

Anybody remember the parable of Eve in the Garden of Eden seduced by the Snake to bite the apple of knowledge?

The difference here, is she hasn't learned anything except being the evil, cheating, lying, whoring, "open for business" crotch gash. And to hell with hubby.

Anyone remember the 10th Commandmnet? Thou shalt not covet your neighbour's wife.

Firstly, a prohibition against lustful desire for your neighbour's wife and to indulge in extramarital fornication.

But equally important, it is a Warning and a Directive for husbands to be eternally vigilant and prepare against men who will attempt to seduce, even rape, extort your wife and/or daughters into illicit sex; and equally it is a Warning and a Directive for husbands to be eternally vigilant and prepare against your own wife's treachery, lies, manipulations in enticing, seducing and submitting to illicit sex with other men.

It is not enough to pray and yourself mind the Commandments. You have to prepare to protect and defend against the rapacious nature of wives and other men - neighbours. Anticipate, expect, observe, verify, build fences, alarms, surreptitious cameras, spies. And realize and fervently adopt the knowledge and stance that it is never a matter of "if", but "when".