All Comments on 'Surprise!'

It's a good idea, but some proofreading would help. You use "your" in a situation where you mean "you're." A little more description of the actual sex act would help, too.

Well, description would help define what was going on, but I think that's what downulit was trying to do, Anonymous; make it so that you don't *know* who's doing what to whom until the final paragraph. It was an interesting effect, actually.

The story was an interesting idea but it lacks description and at what point did she get out a strapon and use it on her husband? Would have been a much better story if there was more description of what was going on.

This was a tale by a first-time author, who very smugly thought that he was going to put one over on the reading audience. Judging by the feedback that I've seen on this site, the majority of male readers have a negative reaction to stories where the male's anus is penetrated. Thus, this "clever" fellow thought to try and fool us by being overly vague with his descriptions until the final paragraph.

Unfortunately, the sheer lack of detailed description was, itself, a dead give-away.

Typical first-time-anal stories involve the husband deliberately taking his time with the entry, just a bit at a time while watching her face for any sign that it's become too painful. The guy is usually holding his breath, hoping and praying that his lady is at least somewhat enjoying the feeling. If she isn't, there's liable to be significant tension in the house for the next few

days.

This story had none of that, but it did have the wife getting up from the bed after the foreplay. This interlude was HER idea and, if she was truly looking to RECEIVE anal sex, the bottle of lube would be in the top drawer of the night-table, or maybe hidden under her pillow. The only real reason for her to leave the bed (after watching a strap-on scene on video) was to go and get her strap-on.... whether the author chose to admit it, or not.

All in all, this was a waste of typing effort. It didn't achieve the purpose of true surprise (at least, with this reader), and seemed "dishonest" and a bit "sneaky", to boot.

The subtlety was lost on most apparently.