All Comments on 'Surprise!!!'

Predictable perhaps, but still very steamy. I'll be looking for more of these three, as well as checking out you other entries.

Need more of the same. So fucking hot.

Thanks so much for the encouragment. I will be adding to this story over the weekend.

I hope you like my other stories.

... second person narrative, but I sure do plan to read your next offerings, and share them with my beloved. (So thanks for posting it!) If you hook up with an editor - a good one - they'll talk to you about second person narratives and how "distancing" they can be, when the hope is to actually "close" distance between author and reader.

it would have been so much better in simple first person, and so easy to do. It wasn't until the second or third "you" that I realized what you were doing. Second person really means you are talking to someone else, in this case your boyfriend, not to me as the reader.

This could be a wonderful series if not for that.

Thank so much for the advice, I can use alll the help I can get. I will work on writing in first person.

To the comment "Need more of the same" read my other stories.