All Comments on 'Surprise in the Hotel Room'

I normally get an idea on whether I can enjoy a story by reading the first and last paragraph, and the tags.

I immediately noticed that comments don't have any quotation marks.

Tags should have included reference to gay or bisexual activity for those who don't care for those pleasures

Present and past tense in the same sentence? (You move up against me and said that was the most intense sex you had ever had).

Sorry, but I won't read the rest of the story until after it is re-written.

This is your first attempt, don't give up just yet. Get yourself an editor.

Too much fun ? ? ?

Previous comments cover most of what I noticed.

It is either an editor or decent Proof Reader.