Surrogate Daddy Ch. 01

The day dragged on. Once I got home from work, I started dinner, and got the kids settled. My typical daily routine. After dinner, I sat on the couch with my kindle and had my nightly glass of wine. I texted Joe, "Hey, how is your night going? I hope you are being safe. Did you have a good day?"

"Don't worry about me Becks. Daddy is always safe 😊. I had a good day thinking about you. Thank you for that. Can you go outside for a minute? I want to send you a video I made for you. I have been talking about you all day."

I liked that Joe referred to me in a paternal way. Regardless of what he did for a living, I liked him. I also liked that he protected the women who worked for him. I didn't condone what he did or what the women did, but I am sure it is hard to do.

I hurried outside to watch the video Joe made for me. I hit play with anticipation. The video started with Joe thanking me for him having a great day. Then there were topless women saying, "Thank you, Becky." One after another, thanking me. They spoke with enthusiasm and appeared to be genuinely happy. I thought, who was I to judge what they did for a living? I texted Joe back, "That was so sweet. Thank you so much. Can you tell the women I said thank you to?"

Joe texted me back, "They said you are welcome. How late can I text you? It's busy in here, I gotta keep an eye on things."

I wanted to tell him he could text whenever he wanted, but I didn't want to draw suspicion from Bill. I planned on going to bed early. I was tired from not sleeping last night. It was already seven thirty, "I will be up until nine. I can text until then. I'm sorry. I don't know how you have the energy you have." I waited patiently for my phone to alert me of a response. I couldn't concentrate on the book I was reading or what Bill was rambling on about.

Finally, at eight-thirty, my phone dinged. "Hey Becks...Sorry for my delayed response. Busy night. Get some rest, pumpkin. Are you able to sneak out tomorrow and grab a bite to eat? Also, take a picture and send it to me. BTW, I do yoga before I go to bed and when I wake up. It helps me stay in shape and why I have the energy I do"

I was nervous about taking pictures and sending them to a man. The getting something to eat and picture request came out of the blue. I was not prepared to answer either one of them. On Tuesdays, I teach a faith-formation class for our church. I could tell Bill that I was meeting a friend for dinner, "Bill, do you mind if I go out to dinner with a friend after class tomorrow?" Of course, Bill didn't mind. I was still frustrated with him over last night. He was a selfish lover. Our intimacy was always about him. I wanted last night to be about me.

I am not in the habit of having male friends, so I wanted to make sure Joe and I were on the same page. Realize he is surrounded by beautiful women every day, but needed reassurances that he was viewing our friendship as I was. I texted Joe back, "I can go to dinner tomorrow. I like to do yoga too; I don't do it as often as you do. I help teach faith formation to some of my church's parishioners on Tuesdays. I can meet you after that. Let me know where we are going to eat, and I will give you an ETA. Please don't be mad at me. I am uncomfortable taking a picture and sending it to you. I understand you have women around you who will send you whatever you want. I'm not like that, and I hope you are ok with that. I view you as a father figure. I think you view me as a daughter figure. I am also happily married and a strong believer in my faith. I'm sorry if any of this upsets you. Please don't be mad at me. BTW, do you have any children?"

As I waited for a response, I thought, 'Am I being full of myself? He's not interested in you that way. He's surrounded by goddesses. Stop being naïve'.

Joe's response was long, "Becks, 1. I don't have kids. 2. I was NOT asking for a naughty picture from you. I wanted you to take a picture for me because it would mean it was mine. You would have taken it specifically for me. 3. I would like you to view me as your daddy. That's how I would like this relationship to be. You called me dad last night. I am not mad at you. You are a good girl. That is what I like most about you. I am surrounded by people who are not like you. That's what makes you so attractive. Are we good?"

I was so relieved that Joe wasn't mad at me. We seemed to be on the same page on what we expected from each other. I went into the bathroom and took my very first selfie. I smiled big. I sent the picture and a text that read, "YES, DADDY! We are good. Can't wait for dinner tomorrow."

Joe texted me back immediately, "There you go. Daddy's little girl. Get some rest. Sorry I can't see you tonight. I will bring you coffee in the morning."

I went to bed feeling reassured by Joe. There was something about him that I found captivating. He was a handsome man, but obviously, that wasn't what drew him to me. I like living in the Northeast, though I do not have any strong relationships with people here. Joe spontaneously gave me attention. He made me feel special. He trusted me with his business, not knowing if I would blab it all over the place. He instinctively cared about me. No one has ever been that way with me. I would crave this kind of attention from my father, who would blow me off. He would tell me to focus on school and stop looking for attention. He rarely did anything with me, no matter how hard I tried. I have always been the "plain Jane" who got ignored. I have wondered throughout my life if people realized I existed. Joe came along and gave me everything I craved from people. I felt like I had a father figure who put me on a pedestal and prioritized me. Finally.

The following morning, I rushed out of the house, got the kids in the car, and moved to a parking spot so Joe could pull up next to me. I felt like a teenager waiting for my dad to show up. Joe pulled up, rolled his window down, and handed me my coffee. "Good morning, Becks. I see you moved your car. Did you sleep well?" I admitted moving the car so he could pull up next to me. I was trying to control my excitement about seeing him. I did not want to come across as weird. After our small talk, we agreed to be in touch later for dinner. Before I left, Joe told me, "I wish I could get out and hug you. Get to work before you are late."

I felt my face turn red as I smiled, "I wish you could too, Daddy." I felt foolish as I giggled and walked away.

I thought about having dinner with my "Daddy" throughout the day. We agreed to meet at a restaurant in a suburb. Joe didn't want anyone to see me out with a man and draw the wrong conclusion. When I arrived, Joe was already seated. We talked seamlessly, learning everything we could about each other. I found out Joe had never been married but always wanted kids. He explained that he dates a lot. He was still hoping for true love. Joe explained his love of tantric yoga and how he believes it brings him peace while keeping him in shape. Joe encouraged me to get away from mom yoga and join him for his yoga workouts. I admitted that I didn't know much about yoga. I confessed that I wanted to get in better shape and would love for him to teach me more about yoga. Joe suggested I tell Bill I was doing yoga a few nights a week with a friend. Joe said I could do it with him in the evening before he left for the club. I got excited about the idea of spending time with Joe and him teaching me about yoga.

Joe walked me to my car. As we approached the door, he wrapped his arms around me to give me the greatest hug. I melted into him, wrapping my arms around him and embracing the tightness. I asked him, "What are you looking for with all this? Be honest with me, please." I needed reassurance that he didn't have an agenda. I felt important, which made me nervous that there was an agenda, or this wasn't real.

Joe looked at me, "You see what my life is like. Who I'm around most of the time. No one is organic or real. You are real. You are sweet. For some reason, I am drawn to you. If I had a daughter, I would want her to be just like you."

I almost started crying. My voice quivered as I explained, "No one has ever said anything like that to me before. I am the person everyone takes for granted but never pays attention to. I don't live in denial; I realize I will never be the prettiest one or the one people care about. I just want to matter for once in my life. I have been taken for granted my whole life. I have done the right thing my whole life but have never mattered to anyone. I was a daddy's girl, but he never noticed I existed." I realized I was unloading years and years of frustration with people on Joe. I couldn't hold the tears back, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you all of that. I'm really sorry."

Joe hugged me again, planting a kiss on the top of my head. "Becks, I don't know who's hurt you like this. You don't ever have to be sorry about anything to me. I have you."

Joe and I made plans for him and me to do yoga the following day. We then got in our cars and started the drive home. Joe followed me the entire way when we arrived. He watched me make it safely into my home. When I got into my bedroom, Bill was waiting for me. I realized that he wanted to make love. I wanted to be ravished. Naturally, I set my expectations much higher than Bill could meet. Bill got on top of me and was finished within minutes. I went to bed disappointed again. My thoughts were focused on what an incredible night I had with Joe instead of Bill's disappointing love-making skills.

The following evening, I attended my first yoga class at Joe's. I was dressed for the occasion in white yoga pants, a sports tank top, and a sweatshirt. The hood of my sweatshirt was pulled over my head to conceal the fact that I was there in case anyone saw me. Upon entering Joe's condo, I had expected it to be filled with cheap paintings, garish colors, and tacky furniture. As soon as I stepped inside, I realized just how judgmental I had been. Surprisingly, the apartment appeared to be quite ordinary. The furniture was nice, but most of the walls were bare, and the air was filled with the scent of burning candles.

Joe greeted me with a hug, inviting me to sit and talk for a few minutes. We sat on the couch while Joe told me how much he cared about me. "Becks, I really enjoy our relationship. I am sorry you have not been prioritized by anyone. I do not want to cause any trouble in your life. People would never understand us or how we fill voids with each other. They would make things up about our relationship. I want you to know that I will be here for you. I don't want to spook you but to prove how important you are to me and how much I trust you. Here is a set of keys to my place with the code for the alarm. The spare bedroom is yours. Until you pick furniture for it, it will remain empty. Do not let costs affect what you pick for the bedroom. Money is not an issue for me. I am happy that I have someone to spend it on. I want you to know my dedication to you. This is what you mean to me. I love it when you call me daddy, and if I'm your daddy, then I need to trust you, and you need to trust me."

I sat there dumbfounded. I did not know how to react to Joe's statement. Of course, I started crying. I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him. I put my head on his shoulder, waiting for my crying to subside. When it did, I whispered, "I love you so much, Daddy. I trust you unconditionally. I am so grateful that you have come into my life. I have waited my whole life for someone to care about me the way you do. You can trust me with anything."

Joe gently grabbed my face with his hands, bringing it to his. He stared intensely into my eyes, "I love you too, Becks." Then he planted a kiss on my lips and wrapped his arms around me for the greatest hug I had ever received. I melted as I buried my face between his shoulder and neck.

Over the next few months, Joe and I would do yoga a few times a week. It was noticeable that I was getting into much better shape. We would find time to sneak out for dinner and always text throughout the day with each other. When we were alone, I would call him Daddy. When we were in public, it was always Joe. Joe doted on me. He always made me the priority. We picked furnishings for my bedroom at his condo, knowing I was unable to sleep there. I enjoyed being the center of his universe. During this time, Joe encouraged me to strengthen my relationship with my own father. To prove Joe wrong, I attempted to get my father's attention. He still did not seem to care about anything in my life. This rejection pushed me closer to Joe.

Bill was oblivious to my world. As long as he was able to do as little as possible and get on top of me for sex, he did not question anything. Then he emphatically told me that we were going to his parents for a holiday weekend. I had no interest in going. Bill did not understand that people cannot walk into work and randomly take time off. Bill said we are leaving on a Thursday after work and returning Tuesday evening. I told him that I could not get the time off from work and needed to work on my student's grades that weekend. This was not true. I had grown familiar with being dishonest with Bill because of my relationship with Joe. Bill became frustrated that I was not going with him to his parents. We had a big argument that ended with me standing my ground for the first time since we met. Bill was in shock, telling me how much I was disappointing everyone. He followed that statement up with what a disappointment I am to everyone in my life.

I went to my phone to text the one person who cared about me, my Daddy. "Hey, Daddy, I just got into a huge fight with Bill. He demanded that I go to his parents for the holiday weekend. You would be proud of me. I told him I was NOT GOING. I am so angry right now. I can't wait for yoga tonight. I have so much frustration to work out!"

As usual, Joe responded immediately. "Hey, Hunny, I am proud of you. It is about time you stood up to people. I can't wait to see you tonight. I am up early running errands but will be back in time for our yoga. As usual, let yourself in whenever you get there."

Six o'clock finally arrived. As I was leaving, I told Bill I was leaving for my yoga class. He shot me a dirty look and continued working on the computer. I let myself into Joe's condo. He was not in the living room, where he would consistently greet me with a kiss on the lips and a hug. I started looking around for him. I approached the bathroom and looked in. I was in shock. Joe was in the shower. I could see clearly through the glass. Joe turned around, and I saw him completely nude. I had never thought about him in this context. I was in shock at the size of his private parts. I quietly moved away from the doorway so he wouldn't be disappointed in me sneaking around. I yelled out, "DADDY, I'M HOME!"

I heard the shower turn off as Joe yelled out, "OK. I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE!" Joe came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around him. He walked towards me, kissed me on the lips, and wrapped his arms around me, as was normal between us. What wasn't normal was hugging him while he was practically nude with just a towel wrapped around him. He told me, "I missed you. I know you get cold with the AC on. Do you mind if I don't wear a shirt for tonight's workout?"

"No, Daddy. You don't have to ask me stuff like that. I missed you too. Are you proud of me for standing up to Bill today?" I was looking for his approval of me. Joe always made me feel empowered with his approval. I craved his validation. It was like a drug, and I was addicted to it.

"I am proud of you, Becks. Maybe you could stay with Daddy while he's gone. Would you like that?"

I had not thought about that opportunity. "YES! I WOULD LOVE THAT!" My heart fluttered with the thought of sleeping in my bedroom at Joe's. Even though he wouldn't be there during the night, I was thrilled with the idea of staying there.

Joe came out of his bedroom in loose-fitting shorts and no shirt. I couldn't understand how he was single. He is an attractive guy. Especially from this perspective. I am not a fool; I was aware that he would have flings with the strippers. Those were strictly physical, needs needing to be met scenarios. But how has a decent woman not seen him for the amazing, loving, handsome man that he was?

We started doing our poses when Joe told me, "Tonight, we are going to have a tough workout. You need to get all of your frustrations out. You need to be at peace. OK?"

"Yes, Daddy. I am at your will." I agreed that I needed to get rid of all the negativity.

At one point, I was struggling with a pose. Joe got behind, helping me bend over. I could feel his groin pressed against my vulnerable parts. He had his hand in the middle of my back to help me stretch to a bent-over position. When I got to position correctly, he told me, "Breathe, inhale slowly, now exhale slowly." I did as he instructed, attempting to erase that our privates were pressed against each other. I continued to hold the pose while I breathed in and out slowly. Joe had held his pose with a slight movement of his groin from his deep breathing, with his hands now firmly holding me still on my hips. I was uncomfortable because I was enjoying this a little too much. I realize that Joe only thought of me in a paternal way, and I only thought of him that way as well, but I am still a woman, I thought. I started to think, is this normal for a daughter to think this way about her dad? I wouldn't know because my father acted like he disliked me most of my life. We quickly wrapped up our session in the usual fashion. We told each other that we loved each other, hugged, then ended it with him kissing me on the lips.

I hurried home. I could not wait to get home to Bill. I went directly into the bedroom and stripped out of my clothing. I was not leaving it up to Bill to disappoint me. I quickly got into the bed and climbed on top of Bill. Demanding, "Do not even think of finishing quickly tonight." Bill was already erect like he knew I would need to be ravished. My juices provided lubricant, so Bill slid in easily. I bounced up and down, riding Bill with animalistic passion. As I was getting close to my long overdue orgasm, I heard Bill grunting. I expressed my displeasure, "Not yet, Bill. Please, not yet!" I felt his explosion fill me. I tried to keep going as he softened inside of me. Again, frustration. I looked down at Bill, exclaiming, "What the fuck, Bill?" I was shocked that I spoke like this. It was instinctive, and I was embarrassed.

Bill pushed me off him. "Since when do we talk like that? Who are you hanging with that you speak like this? What has happened to you? I am so disappointed in you. You need to go to confession tomorrow and ask for forgiveness. No wonder people ask me what I see in you. I am going to sleep."

I went into the living room to cry in private. I prayed while I was there. Bill was right; I wasn't being a good Christian. I was overwhelmed. I agreed I was acting selfishly, sinfully.

For the next few weeks, I was noticeably embarrassed and depressed. Bill and I barely spoke. The only person who I communicated with was Joe. I told him everything. Joe would listen, not judge, and tell me, in his eyes, even if I were wrong, he would still say I was right. I appreciated Joe's listening skills and devotion to me.

The day arrived for Bill and the kids to leave for his parents' house. Before he left, Bill told me, "I hope you use this time to reflect and pray. When I return, I expect you to be back to normal. No more of this weird behavior."

I didn't need to hear this at that moment. It made me feel worse than I already did. I just wanted Bill to leave so I could go to my Daddy's house and be comforted. Bill left; he did not say goodbye. Instead, he chose to give me a dirty look. I watched him drive away and waited an hour before I left for Joe's condo.