Suspicion: Healing

I settled myself in the den and dialed the number I had been given. Two rings later a young man answered the phone.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, this is Paul Matthews. Is Heidi available, please?"

"Yes, she's here, please wait while I get her."

I heard the phone being set down and people talking but I couldn't make out what was being said. Not long after that Heidi picked up the phone.

"Hi, Paul, how are you? I'm glad you called. Can you talk for a while?"

"Hello, Heidi. I'm great now that I'm talking to you. I'd love to chat if you have the time."

"I have time. James has homework to do before he can have his telephone time and even if he didn't he can let his old mom have the phone once in a while," she said with a laugh.

"I know what you mean, Heidi. I've got two teens at home that I have to fight with to be able to use the phone. Most of the time I don't even bother to answer it since no one ever calls for me!"

"Boy don't I know that feeling!" Heidi said. "Well, Mr. Matthews, where are you planning to take me Saturday night?"

We spent the next hour finalizing our plans for Saturday and the balance of the time we just talked, about anything and everything. All too soon it came time to end our call, which we did, reluctantly. We ended with both of us looking forward to the weekend.

I walked into the living room to see Jason and Christie watching television so I sat down with them. No sooner was I sitting than the television was muted and two pairs of eyes were trained on me.

"Well?" they said in unison.

"Well what?" I decided to play dumb, which was not too difficult if you were to ask the average teen.

"Where are you taking your date Saturday? You can't hold out on us considering we took your turn at dishes so you could make your call," Jason said.

"We're going to an early movie then out for a late dinner, if you must know," I said with a smile.

"Ooh, dinner and a movie, huh?" Christie said. "Sounds safe enough for a first date. I don't think you can get into too much trouble with that."

"Trouble? Me get in trouble? I haven't dated in so long I've forgotten how to get in trouble. I'll have you know I'm a perfect gentleman on a date. I can give you references!" I said indignantly.

"I hope you're not too perfect, Dad," Christie grinned. "You're not going to have much fun if you are."

"Excuse me, Christie, I don't think I like where this conversation is going. Suffice it to say for a first date I plan to be a gentleman. I'm sure Heidi will appreciate it. I'm also going to remember this when you start dating, young lady!" I said with a smile.

"Forget I said anything, Dad. Being a gentleman sounds great!" Christie said contritely.

"On a serious note, since it is your weekend with your mother I assume you'll be leaving Friday night as usual, Christie?"

"Yeah, Dad. It's too bad I won't be here to wish you luck but I'll call before you leave."

"What about you, Jason? What are your plans for Saturday night?"

"I was planning to hang out with Jerry and then spend the night at his place, is that OK?"

"Sure, I can drop you off at Jerry's on the way to pick up Heidi if you'd like."

"That would be great, Dad, thanks!"

Now that all our plans for the weekend were finalized we went back to watching TV, not that I remember anything that was on that night as my thoughts were on the coming weekend.

*****

Promptly at 7:00 pm I knocked on Heidi's door. It was opened by a young man, a little taller than Jason with his mother's hair and eye color. He had some of Heidi's features but there were others that had to be from her ex-husband. I smiled and extended my hand.

"Hello, I'm Paul Matthews, you must be James."

The young man grasped my hand firmly and returned my handshake.

"Yes, sir, I am. Please come in. Mom will be ready in a few minutes. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No, thanks, James. This is a nice place."

James ushered me into the living room, pointing to the couch. "Would you like to sit down while you wait? I'll go tell mom you're here." With that I sat down and James headed off toward the back of the apartment where I assumed the bedrooms were.

I had been waiting less than five minutes when Heidi entered the room. I rose off the couch and, I have to be honest, I stared at her. She looked lovely. She had her hair curled under at the ends and tucked behind her ears. Her eyes were highlighted with just the right amount of makeup and they sparkled in the light. She was dressed elegantly in a tailored white blouse and black slacks. The blouse hugged her curves lovingly and the slacks highlighted her long legs and sexy ass. I'm an ass man and Heidi had a heart shaped ass that I'd love to get my hands on. I gathered my wits enough to speak.

"Wow, Heidi, you look wonderful! Your work uniform doesn't do you justice. You look really beautiful tonight." I closed my mouth before I embarrassed myself any further.

"Thanks, Paul. You look pretty good yourself. Are we ready to go?"

"Yes, if you're ready?"

Heidi turned to James. "James, remember to lock up when you leave and I want you home by midnight, all right?"

"Yes, Mom. I'll be home by midnight. I'm going over to Steve's for a few hours to play video games, that's all. Have a good time!"

"Thanks, honey, we will." Heidi smiled at her son and we were on our way.

"Your son seems to be a very nice young man. He's very polite. You've done a good job raising him."

"It hasn't been easy of course but I'm very proud of the way James has turned out. He's a good boy and the lack of a father figure in his life hasn't affected him too badly. I try to get him involved with sports and other activities where he has male companionship. For the most part I think it has helped."

"I think so if the young man I saw tonight is any indication. You can't fake manners like that. You can tell he's doing what he's been taught since he was a child. He even called me sir."

"He'd better. He knows better than to call adults he doesn't know by their first names. Unless a person tells him differently it is sir or mister. That's enough about my son. Where's your car?"

I directed Heidi to the passengers side, opened her door and watched her slide into the seat. I closed the door and made my way to my side. Getting in, I started the car and we were off. The movie was acceptable, neither great nor awful, it was the company that I was interested in. We held hands throughout the movie and while it was innocent contact it was nice to have a woman at my side again. After the movie we made our way to a nice Italian restaurant near the theater. I picked this place because it had a reputation for good food and seating that was not too close so you could have a conversation and not be overheard easily. As a side benefit they had a nice lounge with a small band on Friday and Saturday night. If things worked well maybe we could dance after dinner.

We made small talk while we waited for the waiter to take our orders and continued in that manner until our meals arrived. I had ordered a bottle of wine to go with the meal and we settled in to eat.

"So Heidi, are you enjoying yourself?"

"Very much so, Paul," she smiled. "I don't get out much so I'm really enjoying myself, of course the company is excellent, too."

"If you don't mind my asking, how is it that a beautiful woman like you is still single after all these years?"

"I don't mind. My husband left us when James was only six. He didn't feel the need to pay child support, especially since he'd gotten his girlfriend pregnant, so I didn't have much free time. I was working two jobs trying to make ends meet for a couple of years. Then I got my certificate as a dental hygienist which helped financially so I dropped the second job. It also freed me up to spend more time with James and I worked really hard to see that he grew up right. I had the odd date of course, friends and family would try to set me up, but guys weren't interested in a woman with a child for long and those that seemed interested were only looking for one thing. I never found the right man and after a while I stopped looking. How about you, how is it a hunk like you is still free?"

I wasn't sure how much to tell her about my tale of woe but honesty is the best policy so I plunged ahead.

"I've told you I've only been divorced about two years now so it hasn't been that long." I paused, then continued. "We were married for sixteen years before I found out she'd been unfaithful. It was a real shock I can tell you. I had no clue there was even a problem until almost the end. She fell in love with the guy and six months later I was a divorced father. My family and friends tried to get me to date but it wasn't working. The end of my marriage was too fresh. I didn't date anyone for over a year after the divorce. When I saw you something told me it was time so I asked you out, and here we are."

"I'm glad you felt the way you did, Paul. I haven't had this much fun with a date in years. This manicotti is wonderful, how is your lasagna?"

Conversation continued throughout the meal in an easy, fun and even teasing manner. Heidi had a great sense of humor and could talk on any number of subjects. We finished our meal and wine then made our way to the lounge. Sitting at a table near the dance floor I ordered us another glass of wine.

"No more wine for me after this one, Paul. I'm not much of a drinker and I don't want to fall asleep on you!"

"No problem, Heidi. Would you care to dance?"

We joined the other couples on the dance floor and started swaying to the music. I held her close but not too close. I wanted her to know that I enjoyed having her in my arms but I didn't want to seem too aggressive. I was enjoying having her in my arms, she smelled really, really good and felt even better. We danced a couple of songs and then went back to our table.

"You're a pretty decent dancer, Paul, not that I'm Ginger Rogers, of course. I haven't danced in so many years I've forgotten how much I like it."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'd have never known you haven't done this in a while. You move so well, it must come natural for you."

"I think it was my partner more than anything. Would you excuse me? I need to powder my nose."

I stood then sat back down, watching her walk away from the table. I'm not sure but I think I noticed a bit more swing in her walk than had been there previously but that could have been my imagination. Boy she looked good from the back! Almost as good as she did from the front. My resolve to be a gentleman was being sorely tested with this beauty. I don't know why but I felt more for this woman than any woman since Kathy. Not only that but I didn't feel as bad about the breakup as I usually did on a date. While I'd never forget Kathy and the good times we had I knew I could get past the hurt and possibly find someone else. I hoped it might be Heidi, but if it didn't work out I knew I'd keep trying.

Heidi made her way back to our table and before she had a chance to sit down I swept her onto the dance floor where we danced until the band took a break. While we danced Heidi moved closer and closer until she was resting her head on my shoulder. I held her a bit tighter, sending a message to her that I liked her very much and was enjoying our closeness. After the last song we decided to call it a night and I escorted her to my car.

As we were walking up the stairs to her apartment I felt sad that the evening was ending. I had really enjoyed myself and I was reasonably sure Heidi had too. I could sense her reluctance to end the evening as she was walking slower as we got closer to her door. All too soon we did reach her door and she turned to face me.

"I had a great time, Paul. It was a lot of fun, more fun than I've had in years."

"I had a great time too, Heidi. I'm really glad you agreed to go out with me. I feel so comfortable with you it didn't seem like a first date at all." With that I leaned forward and kissed her gently. She returned the kiss enthusiastically and I think I felt a tickle of her tongue but I couldn't be sure then the kiss ended.

"Call me tomorrow, Paul?" she asked as she opened the door.

"I will, good night, Heidi."

"Good night, Paul."

She closed the door and I made my way back to the car, walking on air.

*****

I woke the next morning to an empty house since Christie was at her mother's and Jason was at a friend's. I started coffee and after my shower and shave I sat down with the paper and my coffee. After one cup I decided to go out for breakfast as I hated to cook for just myself. I took my paper and went down to the local diner for a big breakfast. By the time I returned home it was shortly before 11 am. I hoped it wasn't too early to call Heidi but I doubted she slept in this late, not with a teenage son to feed. I picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Heidi, I hope I haven't called too early?"

"Paul! No, I've been up for hours. I'm so glad you called, thank you for great the time you showed me last night. I really enjoyed it."

"I did too, Heidi, believe me," I paused then decided to go for it. "Hey, are you free this afternoon to go for a walk in the forest preserve? I think it is a beautiful day for a walk."

"That's a marvelous idea, Paul. I love to walk in the woods. They have some really nice walking trails there. What time do you want to go?"

"How about I pick you up in an hour? Would that work for you?"

"Great, I'll see you then!"

*****

The walk that day turned into an early dinner that night. I couldn't stay out too late as both Christie and Jason were due home around six. As you might expect I got the follow-up third degree from my children about my date. When they found out I'd been out with her again that day they both seemed very happy.

"Heidi seems like a really nice woman, Dad. Do you think you'll be seeing more of her?" Christie asked.

"I think so, hon. I really like her. She's smart and funny and good company. And she does a great job cleaning my teeth!" I said with a chuckle.

"I'll bet she cleaned your teeth, with her tongue!"

"Christie! That'll be enough of that young lady." I tried to look upset but I know I failed.

"Sorry, Dad," she said, failing to even sound sorry. "So, when are you seeing her again?"

"Probably this weekend, but we didn't make any firm plans. I'll be talking to her later in the week for sure."

"When do you think we can meet her?"

"Not for a while, honey. I don't want to rush things. She's been divorced a long time, over ten year, and I don't want to rush into things. I'm still pretty unsure of this whole dating thing myself, you know. Let's give it a few months before I bring her home, OK?"

"OK, Dad. I hope you continue to see her, at least for a while. You seem happier than you have in a long time and I want that to continue. I love you, Dad. I want to see you happy."

"Thanks, honey, I appreciate that. I do feel better about myself, better than I have in a long time. I want that to continue too but I need to go slow, we both do. I hope you understand?"

"I do, Dad, I do," Christie said.

I turned to my son, who had been curiously quiet during this conversation. "How do you feel about all this, Jason?"

"Me? I think it's great you're getting out again, Dad. Heidi sounds like a really nice woman. I want to meet her sometime too but I can wait until the time is right for you, and her."

"Thanks, son. I'm glad to hear you guys are OK with me dating again. After all, it's been just the three of us for a while now. I want to make sure you two are included in decisions that affect our family."

"You always have, Dad," Jason said. "And you are now. You deserve some adult company and if it means you spend some time with Heidi instead of us, we understand. We're growing up you know, and we have our own activities. We don't want to see you alone. Don't feel guilty about dating, Dad. We love you and want to see you happy."

I couldn't speak right away, I was pretty choked up. I had some great kids. What dad could ask for more.

"Thanks, Jason. I appreciate the sentiment more than you know. How about we have a family movie night? I'll make popcorn and you two can decide on a movie."

We spent a nice family evening then we made our way to bed.

*****

Heidi and I dated steadily over the next few months, mostly on weekends with a lunch date sprinkled in for good measure. We still had our previous commitments to family and work to consider and it seemed that neither of us was in a hurry to move things to the next step. It turned out I was wrong, as I soon found out.

We were on our way back to Heidi's place after a night of dancing when Heidi asked a question I never expected.

"Paul," she said quietly, "don't you find me attractive?"

"You're kidding me, right? You're the most beautiful woman I know! Of course I find you attractive. What brought this on?"

"Well, we've been dating for three months now and I've had a great time... but I want more. I've been waiting patiently for you to make the next move but you haven't. I know you are a gentleman, and I appreciate it, believe me, so I wonder if you aren't attracted to me enough to move things to the next level?"

To say I was stunned would be an understatement. I hadn't wanted to push her too fast since she hadn't dated in a long time and here she was looking for more than I was giving her. I had to set her mind to rest right now or risk losing her.

"Heidi, I'm so sorry. I knew you hadn't dated in years so I didn't want to push you. Remember, you told me that the guys you had dated more than once were only interested in one thing. I assumed that you meant you wanted to be taken seriously by any man you dated before you got intimate. I guess I missed your signals, and for that I'm sorry too. It seems that I've wasted a lot of time when we could have been getting to know each other much better.

"I want you, Heidi. I've wanted you almost from the day we met and I've been holding back so I wouldn't scare you away. I want to thank you for asking for what you want tonight. I appreciate that you didn't just dump me because I was too dense to figure out what you needed."

"Oh, Paul! You don't know how happy I am to hear that you want me. I've wanted you for a long time too, not quite as long as you but a long time! I guess my signals were too subtle or we're both so out of practice we missed each other's signals. Do you have to go home tonight? I really want you to stay. James is at a friend's for the weekend so I have the apartment to myself."

Wow, now that things were out in the open events were moving very quickly! I had to get my mind out of her pants to be able to answer her question.

"I don't have anything with me and I should call the kids to let them know I won't be home, other than that I don't see a problem staying over."

"I have an extra tooth brush and you can borrow James's robe in the morning if you want. Let's call your kids as soon as we get in. I don't think I can wait much longer!"

I pressed the gas pedal a little harder and we were in her apartment soon after. While Heidi retired to the bathroom to freshen up I called home.

"Hello?" Christie said.

"Hi, honey!"

"Oh, hi, Dad. Why are you calling? Is everything OK?"

"Everything is fine, sweetie. I just called to let you know I won't be home tonight. I didn't want you and your brother to worry."

"Well, it's about time, Dad! I was wondering when you were going to spend the night with her!"

"Oh, not you too! Heidi said something similar earlier, that's why I'm calling."

"Well, you have a good time, Dad, and don't worry about hurrying home in the morning, Jason and I will be just fine."

"I will, honey, goodnight."

I hung up the phone and stood there for a minute to gather my thoughts. At the start of the evening I had no idea that a few hours later I'd be standing in Heidi's living room planning to stay the night. God I was nervous! I hadn't been with a woman since I asked Kathy to leave the house, over two years now. I hoped I didn't embarrass myself and come too quickly. I knew the old skills would come back fairly soon, you don't forget that kind of thing, but the lack of experience would affect my performance that first time. I was roused out of my thoughts by Heidi's voice.