All Comments on 'Sweet and Sour Revenge for My LW'

I think you had the makings of a very good story. The problems I had with it are how many absolutes you use. She was the perfect wife, we were perfect fir each other, the girls will not have any lasting effects, etc.. These statements make the story have such an unreal feel to it. Make your characters more real with both good and bad flaws and feelings and you will achieve greater results. I loved the creative aspects of your tale and I see progress in Your writing. Keep up the good work.

Terrific story. Loved it. AAAAAA++++++

He'd be LUCKY to keep half of the settlement money after his lawyer and taxes. Even 1.25 million dollars doesn't go very far these days. And since his wife never threatened him, she'd most likely get custody and alimony if she gets fired. Plus half of their money and investments. Courtroom are tricky places and the cards are stacked against husbands. It was a nice fantasy.

Do the twins still see their other Grandparents or just David's sister and mother?

Savage story, write more.

Very good if a bit over the top. 4 stars

She got off way to easy

I can see the mushroom cloud all the way here in Michigan.

Great story How much do us simple husbands suffer because we have a physcotic wife ????? (jaybee186)

This is hard to see but thank you for these photos. No, let her go this is all on her and you don't need to get involved. Let it go. Thanks again!"

This is one thing I have never understood how a husband allows this?? If it wa aur wife and u loved her so much …the least u would hve down was to kick her out of whatever she was doing …but no…u let it happen then cry for sympathy! What gutless pos these men are!

Not so bad. A bit over the top BUT you shouldn’t jump from first to second or third person.

If Kim is attractive no way does she end up lonely. And while her parents might be a little cold to her, they will/do forgive her.Especially the mom. Authors on here act like they don't have parents. Will Smith is wrong. Parents do understand - that's why they forgive almost anything

School shooters, terrorist, etc. Guarantee the parents still love them

I WANTED TO GIVE THIS STORY 4 * BUT BECAUSE FOR MANY WEEKS WE HAVE ALMOST THE SAME STORIES ABOUT WEAK FORGIVING CUCKS, I GIVE 10 *

Heh. As BTBs go, this was alright. Standard setup, standard consequences. Thing is, I usually look forward to the confrontations in these scenarios, because that's when the emotion is pulled out, and good writers can really make a powerful scene. The discovery process, on the other hand, is nearly identical and predictable in most stories, and usually only qualifies for a skim-through. It almost gets annoying reading about spouses pretending everything is ok (even though they know otherwise) while they get their ducks in a row. I just wait for the fireworks, unless the writer is skilled enough to string us along through compelling events that get us there.

A well told story that fits my sense of justice completely. Anyone who fucks others without condoms even though he is married and has children is not only risking his own life/health but also that of his family! And if you do that over a period of 6 months, you deserve nothing less than what you described so beautifully! 5*!

Over the top of jumping the shark; no cliché left unused!

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The wife who won't give her husband head likes getting "split roasted" by two men, on a hotel balcony? The corporate CEO who knows that the cuckolded husband has recordings makes death threats to the husband in public? The corporate 'morality' clause? Sinclair and the wife wind up in prison? A mother who not only loses custody, but all visitation rights with her children? A woman completely disowned by her parents?

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OK, Kim never shaved or even trimmed her pubes, but decides to shave them off while at a 'conference,' without any concern that this might give her husband a clue? For someone supposedly good at her job, and smart enough to fool her husband for months, she's dumb as a box of rocks.

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The coeporate CEO who was fucking a subordinate at lunch, apparently every day, is surprised that the affair has been discovered? And he threatens the cuckolded husband with death? Even dumber than Kim; how did he ever get promoted to CEO?

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The supervisor brought in to "split roast" Kim, and he, too, supposedly intelligent or how else did he become a boss, exposes himself to all sorts of legal and financial problems?

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Jonathan Wilkes, supposedly a top supervisor, living under a bridge and working as a day laborer?

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Sending the photos of Kim getting "split-roasted" to anybody else would fall under revenge porn laws in the United States. David probably doesn't go to jail, or if he does, he gets 30 days in the county jail, but those millions he won? Fined away!

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Yeah, there's an audience for way, way, way over the top, but at least a little realism would be an improvement.

WONDERFUL STORY!! Ten stars is close. Glad David got those "big men" put in their place. Too bad about Kim, but she had the world by the ass, and threw it away. Wonder if Kim still shaves her bug? Please make another chapter, where David finds someone or do a long reconciliation. Wonderful work

Not too bad , but RELEASE your imagination a d go wild on a BTB . MOST BTB stories never fully capture the after math ,of he let me give the bitch some hope to pull out the rug on her hopes and toy with her pain .

Loved it. Write more, but examine your dialog more closely. Pare it. Don't write lol.

Good story. The cheating acts were over the top though. Threesomes 4 times a week for months?? A bit much. Still stirred so much hatred for the bitch who willingly went behind her husband's back with pure decit and lying. Only crying because of what she lost, not what she did. If she felt guilty she would have stopped at the restaurant when he called her phone. The slut got everything she deserved. The type of whore is so maddening when claiming to "love" her husband, of course which absolutely no one believes, even herself.

To the one about why the husband didn't stop it...here's the thing, so it stops it that one time, what about the other times? What about future times he doesn't know about? What would stop her from doing again? She already willingly and knowing betrayed him and planned on how to keep him in the dark. So no he just let her go ahead since she would another time anyways. So you save it that one time meanwhile the rest of future is constantly wondering what she's doing. Trust was already destroyed.

fucking fantastic loved it

the thought of bitch suffering in pain and sorrow has my dick throbbing

god i love when cheaters don t prosper and love it even more when they suffer

well done

5* a billion hardons and dozens of orgasms

$5,mil!!! That's all???? This is a multi-BILLION dollar company! Ask for $500,mil and it will be all over the news> Hell, that woman was initially awarded $7,mil for spilling McD's coffee on herself and you think these 2 top end execs are going to be hurt by a stupidly low amount like that. They're probabaly sitting there giggling!

good story, keep writing and don't worry about what the pundits have to say. creative work.

I'm surprised this got a four rating. The storyline is way over the top, not at all believable characters, and a wimpy husband in the end. It was better than many of the LW submissions, maybe that's why it scored so high. I personally gave it a 2.

Rolls eyes. Every cliché under the sun

Youdid a great job of BTB+others. Your 2 forays into the LW catagory have been excellent, although I still think that asking for $5 mil to be quiet was unfathonable Hell, the CEO lost$15,mil before his divorce and the other lost millions also. Ceo-s of multi Billion dollar corp make in excess of $50,mil annually so the company could easily absorb that hit. Still, 5 stars as the ending left me happy.

Keep writing, there were a few plot errors but nothing major. I found it to be an entertaining read and didn't skip like I sometimes do.

Okay as a revenge story. No explanation for the wife's complete turn to the dark side. So, unreal. D

Luved your story. His wife must have done an outstanding job of cleaning herself after her meetings. Find it a little hard believing a husband could wait so long for retribution. Non the less great story. 5*****

This wasn't a bad story. I usually hate reading stories from women on here. They always make the husband's weak, pathetic losers that's so desperate, they'll stay with the slut. I really would've liked if Kim had more writing time. I really wanted to know how did she think this would end if/when he found out? Did she believe her husband to be a weak cuck? How can she say she love her husband and love her kids and easily lie without blinking? Even when she was caught, she just compounded the lies, made him think he was crazy. Why did she marry him knowing she enjoys being a slut? Why not just stay single, that way there would be nobody there to disrespect and betray? How did David know the twin girls are his when he knows she lies with no conscious? She's lied about who she is. How can he possibly believe anything in their relationship was real knowing she's a pathological liar? I would review and verified everything. Paternity of the girls would've been on top of the list. This is what happens when you found out the person you've been married to for year's, is not the person you thought you knew. The whole relationship was a lie. Everything would be questioned. Rightfully so. If they can lie to you for so long and so convincing, why would you put it anything passed them? Why was Kim depressed? She clearly enjoys a variety of cocks the bigger the better, I would think she would be happy she can now find and fuck every big dicks she sees without the issue of husband and children. Was that not what she wanted? I know she didn't really believe her sluttiness wouldn't be revealed. What's done in the dark, always comes to the light. I think her bosses big dick might've scrambled some of her brain cells. Nobody is this stupid. I really would've liked to know when did she stop loving and respecting her husband? You can't love your husband and kids if you're willing to risk losing them for 2 seconds of pleasure. I don't give a shit what nobody say. Women like Kim can't love. They don't what how to spell it let alone the definition. They have their own definition of love. It's not love. What they love is having a backup man (their husband). What they love is themselves, what they love is the dicks flooding their disease swamps. These women can't love. They're incapable of it. Cause they're low key narcissistic sociopaths. All they love and care about is their pussies getting drilled. This is why the marriage, husband, kids, family aren't given a second thought........ Until they lose them. Suddenly they love them now and need them in their lives😏😏

Not a single original element in the story, and all of it told more convincingly by other writers. It is woefully lacking on exploring how the wife went from zero to whore, nor how she somehow became a pathological liar and narcissist while still being a loving wife and mother. Her internal psychology seems dreadfully inconsistent and unbelievable. I suppose it gets an A for effort, but I can’t recommend spending any time reading it. All that said, I would encourage the author to keep writing as that’s the only way to improve. While I didn’t like it that much, I’ve certainly read a lot worse. I do get the feeling that the author has potential and hope we’ll get a more successful effort from him in the future.

I think this is your best story so far. it is great to see a new writer with your talent. Five stars and a huge thank you.

Thank you! Prideful jerks got what they deserved.

I gave you a 4 star rating for a far attempt at a story. You dropped several logical lines. First was his initial reaction... 3 months to get evidence when he had enough from tht e original texts. But he acted like he did not know when he saw the PI, Mr Brice, hoping he was wrong. Hell he was fully aware. Now playing along for a short time is one thing. You went a little TOO far with all this. but I'll concede the negotiation. Keep going.

Going from ultra religious to skank with no explanation is a little far fetched but then some people really can keep 2 separate lives. But having 3 ways 4 days a week for months and she thinks she has him still snowed?

Pretty good BTB. 4 1/2 stars. Would have been 5+ if you had let her go to prison as she deserved. She knew about the real death threats and never once thought about how her children could be hurt or killed also. Also, who can fuck up 3 suicide attempts in six months and still be allowed to walk around free ?

I just don't see anyone go on for months, having sex, saying I love you, playing with the kids, knowing she's hanging her bosses. It was a decent story, but stretching out the time between discovery and plan execution just wasn't believable.

This was written to impress the audience here, with no thought to make an actual story, with ANY sense of reality. Phony all the way thru; please stop, find your own way of writing, and start again.

The ending, as always it seems on this site, was rushed, but the overall story was your best to date! 5*

Good story, much better written. I still think Jonathan deserved prison time as well, but... Keep on writing.

"Revenge was sweet, but revenge would never fully heal David's wounds."

This depressing crap is not how you end a BtB. Any revenge story that ends with the husband miserable and lonely is a failure.

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"He still loved Kim and forgave her"

Nope. No way.

She lied to his face for months and treated him like a clueless idiot, while getting fucked senseless by multiple guys. All he'd feel is hate towards her for showing him such disrespect, making a mockery of their marriage, and leaving him to raise their daughters without a mother. The kids crying themselves to sleep because they miss mommy would burn away any good feelings he had left for the selfish whore.

Kim wasted 7 years of his life and broke his heart... why the hell would he still love her?

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This should've ended with David using all his free time to date attractive young women. His two daughters needed a new mother, and he was a good father/husband who was now loaded, so finding a replacement would be easy.

A high-scoring BtB must end with the husband leading a great life afterwards; it's the satisfying payoff after reading about a good man being betrayed by a deceitful wife.

Not too bad as BTB stories go. It does surprise me writers try to convince us that cheating wives don't understand the implications of cheating. And also why would the husband wait another 6 months to divorce the wife? If that was me i would not wait another day if I had the evidence. Thanks for the story.

enjoyable but noman would wait so long and a beautiful slut would never be lonely.

Only an insecure and demented mind would conjure up such a sick story. Fortunately, on Loving Wives you will find many kudus and followers, except ones from the truly disturbed who think you didn't go far enough.

Just too much over the top. Could have been a good story but the extreme level of situational bullshit made it kind of mediocre. Sure would like to see some author not hire a P.I., actually confront his wife as soon as he knew of her cheating, and didn't continue to make love to her and lead his daily life as if nothing had happened. Too many of these "revenge" stories are cut out of the same cloth. The writing itself was not bad but the way it was directed was silly to say the least.

oh that was really burning the bitch and bastards.

no prisoners all-out war winner takes all.

I do feel that it was over the top but then all of that was the cheaters' doing, not David.

And that was the cheaters' consequences, bad or worse.

Thanks CindyTV. No cucks here.

Wow. What a ride. Having survived an abusive, psychotic, ex wife, I can relate , but damn that was savage. You sure this belongs in "Loving" Wives? LOL

Nice set up and burn.

The bad actors were evil but had a little depth which was greatly appreciated by this reader.

Totally enjoyed this BTB LW story but have a few questions. Why the hell did your write LOL during their meeting at The Yardhouse with Sinclair? As do most authors you keep having the cheated on husband continue to say he still loves his soon to be ex-wife and I must as why. IF David loved Kim and he could continue the marriage maybe he could say he loved her but he is getting a divorce and wants her to be as far away from himself and his children as possible. He wants her to suffer. Which leads to the biggest question I have for all writers; how can the husband still want to have sex with her? The only answer is that he is just as horny and stupid as his slut wife so why not just keep her around for a good fuck and let her lovers pay him for her continued usage. Oh, that’s right, that would make him a pimp and her a whore, not a slut.

Having finished this LW story I now have to read some of the T&C stories which I seldom read.

The way you drew out his time of messing with her head while she continued to cheat was interesting as a story, but I can't imagine anyone actually doing it. Good story and great revenge.

Way to go. Liked the story.

Was going strong, but the writing got too sloppy as the story progressed. What happened to the charge of threatening to murder David? What did Kim go to jail for? What conspiracy?

Balcony spit roast… how wonderfully convenient for surveillance. Take her back, full time mom and sex slave… if she did suicide some blame will splash onto David anyways… she was hot afterall, and muggt as well fuck her since he trusts nobody anymore to be in his personal space.

I liked it. A lot. Please keep writing.

good writing but a bit more realism and less cuteness in a BTB story would get you more kudos from us.

Good job. But too many inconsistencies and some silliness. At the beginning, while she is in Vegas, he refuses to confront her or let her be confronted but yet he talks about saving his marriage. Absurd and silly. How can he claim to want to save his marriage and do nother to stop her from continuing the affair.

And why, after having proof, do people still hire PIs to get more proof. I don't get it. I guess he did find out more, including the CEO and that the affair had been going on for 6 months, but I don't understand what he was trying to save prior to that.

And why did he allow it to go for 3+ months? Makes no sense to me. How can he live with a cheating skank for so long and not kick her out?

And the whole murder threats after the wives found out was kinda silly too. The CEO should have been smarter than that, especially if there were already recordings and videos, the odds were good that he was being captured making those threats. And the wife sitting there allowing the supposed love of her life to be threatened with murder???? Inconsistent with how you presented her previouslly.

I appreciate the effort but this is way overscored. It's average for LW at best, but I think you have possibilities. Here are a few things.

1. You tried to waive off grammar comments at the beginning. There was no need to do that. It's bad form, AND, ironically, your grammar was far better than most LW stories. In particular, I didn't notice ignorant woketard or lazy pronoun usage. That's a rarity here, and it shows skill and intelligence.

2. Your "diction" (word choice for dialogue) needs work. A character's dialogue needs to be consistent with the way he's developed. For example, many authors here will create a well educated character with a professional degree, and then the character starts uttering sentences with ridiculous grammatical errors: "Jim and me met up...."; "The development of the new software was going really good."; "She glanced at Jim and I." Fortunately, on a quick read I didn't see those sorts of problems in your piece. I'm not saying that every character needs to sound educated. If the character is a high school dropout working on a loading dock, that kind of dialogue works. I am saying, however, that the dialogue needs to fit the character as developed. In your case, the obvious problem is that you develop your characters as serious Christians and professionals, and yet the husband's language is remarkably vulgar. I am not saying that such a person would never utter any of those words, but the frequency of vulgar language in his dialogue is far beyond what a serious Christian would utter and would be excessive among professionals. So, give some hard thought to how a character with the background you specify is likely to speak IRL. Very few writers here do.

3. The biggest problem I see is in plot development. Why did "Kim" go off the rails? Late in the story there's a mention of sexual excitement being the motive, at least for continuing to be a slut. Frankly, given how you began your character development (which was good at the beginning), the sudden reveal of "Kim" as a grossly adulterous, deceitful, narcissistic wife is a museum quality specimen of the "Martian Slut Ray" cliche. You needed to do a much more careful job of developing "Kim's" motivation. As it was, like so many stories here, the structure is 1. ideal or solid marriage, 2. the wife is hit by the Slut Ray, and 3. the bitch gets burned. That's boringly formulaic and shallow. In general, I think authors here need to do a better job of writing their female characters. BTW, avoid the usual LW cliches, e.g. "I loved X more than life itself."

When David first learns of his wife's inappropriate behavior he does nothing to stop it, even though for all he knew it was the first time. Then, he delays and delays taking action while turning in an Oscar worthy acting performance. Stop for a moment and think...do you believe the character you initially wrote would not have had the friend go tell "Kim" she's "busted"? If a character had any desire to save his marriage, that's what he'd do, especially the way "David" is written. David's subsequent acting and continued sexual contact for MONTHS is simply not credible, nor is his thought "I had to protect the girls and save our marriage if possible." It was far too late in the game to save the marriage unless you were going to hit "David" with the "LW Cuck Ray". In all, "David" is far too passive after the "reveal" to be recognizable as a flesh and blood man, Christian or otherwise.

The CEO is written comically as "Snidely Whiplash". "Shallow and unrealistic" doesn't begin to describe him. No CEO of a major company would make the threats that that character did. Many executives may be sociopaths, but they are smart, and all of them understand the First Law of Holes (otherwise they wouldn't be CEOs). All you've done is convince an experienced reader that you haven't had much contact with senior executives in major companies.

Finally, the "legal" part is largely unrecognizable as American law. You don't need to be a lawyer, but a good writer gets the basics right.

As I said before, I think you have possibilities as a writer, which is why I'm trying to give you some constructive comments. Read Todd172's stories carefully. You'll see that his characters' diction and actions flow naturally from how they are developed. The Unoriginalist and some others also write very well, but in totally different styles from Todd172. Find your own style, but the basics are the same for good writers.

He still has sex with her after he has seen her lunch breaks? I'm not getting it. No fear of diseases? Really? 3* maximum

You switch from third person to first person towards the end as you clesrly get into the revenge stuff. Just do a quick check and keep the perspective consistent.

Beyond that, an enjoyable revenge story!

This did not make sense! He worried about saving his marriage even after receiving the initial photos? Why did he need a P.I. when he had the photos and emails? Why did he keep fucking her after he knew who else she was fucking? Never heard of S.T.D.'S? why did it take him over 4 months to finally start the divorce?

You write well but you obviously don't pay enough attention to your own plots.

Gave you a 5. The wife was supposedly raised in a strong family in a strongly religious community and gave no thought to daily adultery? With two men? Did spit roasts but didn’t go down on her husband?

She felt bad for all the destruction she caused? Did she seduce the married men? What happened? How did she make this journey? Sex addict? Her religious scruples forbad everything but missionary with her husband so she became a slut for others? The guys are explainable. Lots of managers are sociopaths willing to use others for their benefits. What about the loving wife?

Mr. Mom was a great story but left me unsatisfied. Same basic story, great anti slut wife with two slut sisters who had destroyed their marriages suddenly goes with on yearly cruises and becomes a secret gang bang slut every year. And the husband isn’t suspicious. If not why, how?

Fantasy story which is OK but aftermath, especially the legal ramifications stretched even that.

You had a churchgoing, conservative family mom decide to enter into a depraved (by her standards) sexual relationship or relationships where she was having sex daily for months, sometimes with two men and then came home and have sex with her husband another 4 times a week (did she not have periods?). This is a sick woman that needs help. While I'd divorce her as well, her parents should understand that their daughter needs help. In addition, just because she's a disturbed cheating whore does notmake her a bad mother and should be cut off from her kids, especially if she got psychiatric help. Also, $2.25M (~$1.4M after taxes) is not near enough to quit your job for, especially if you're in your late 20's or early 30's.

The plot was okay. Several comments have already address the cliches.

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However, the writing is mediocre at best. For example:

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* Several times you switch between 1st and 3rd person. Doing that between paragraphs and sections is bad enough, but in the paragraph that starts, "Kim was sentenced to 5 years but with help from David..." you somehow manage to do in within the same paragraph.

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* In the "Papers Served:" section you can't seem to be able to keep track of who is Jason and who is Jonathan.

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Appreciate that you gave yourself a pass on grammar. Heck, most of us are not English teachers but you need to at least reread your story before hitting submit. Your POV jumped around and misuse of quotation marks made it very difficult to read.

Story was OK - a bit over the top-----OK, a lot over the top.....Martian slut ray strikes again on a "perfect" woman with a "perfect" marriage with no explanation, but that seems to be the norm here. Still a fun read.

You pretty much ticked all the boxes for Loving Wives cliches. The writing was okay but it was the same as 20,000 other LW stories. Even though he has evidence for a divorce, he has to wait and play games for 6 months before pulling the trigger. Why? It doesn't make sense.

I just read sbrooks comment. Evidently, he does not know the meaning of the word "cuck."

As I said, your writing is fine. Try to come up with something more original.

Not erotic, so the story doesn’t belong here. 1 star. It’s boring too.

Good story. I liked the way he played the cheating bitch with the build up to serving the papers. Good job on taking down the lovers along with the bitch. I like the scorched earth revenge. RR is just upset that you didn’t use bolt cutters on the assholes, or run away to Mexico with the girls, as his betrayed husbands do. Like the infernal, eternal, lame ass cuckold stories, the OTT burn the bitch stories have a lot of fans in LW. You’re getting the hang of it Cindy. Keep them coming.

Thanks for the effort. I often see these stories where the cheated upon spouse spends months with the cheater before confronting them. They bait the cheater into more and more lies, but then they, themselves, have to lie to hide their knowledge of the cheaters betrayals. Also, and I find this unbelievable, they continue to have sex with the cheater and usually UNPROTECTED sex! I think, maybe, I can understand 24-48 hours to get your ducks in a row if there are children involved, but otherwise, just get it over with! Have the confrontation and listen to the excuses, then dump the cheater and move on.

Sigh. Just dumb, cliched and full of holes. For example -- she shaves and this is something that he knows while she is at the conference, and he waits months afterword to confront her about it, even though they're continuing to screw like crazy? Stuff like that is just lazy and makes suspension of disbelief impossible.

Pretty good. I suggest in the future you proof-read more carefully, and avoid such things as tense changes. You kept changing back and forth between the past and present tense. A good example, involving a single sentence is:

"Kim had never heard David talk this way and she's never seen him so angry and focused."

Do you see how you changed from the past tense (had never heard) to the present tense (she's never seen)? The sentence should have been:

"Kim had never heard David talk this way, and had never seen him so angry and focused."

Anyway, it was a very good effort. 5 stars from me. I look forward to your future posts!

For a second attempt at BTB and 7 submissions, the author did an amazing job on the story. 5 stars

And to sbrooks103x, there are several titles that a wife can give to the man she marries: spouse, husband, father, and if she is ever unfaithful even once during the courtship and marriage, cuckold. Cuckold is a state of being just like virgin and is factual even if he never knows the act occurred.

@ ReedRichards

You do understand that the revenge porn law stuff is only in a few states. Most of the US hasn't passed anything to cover that yet.

Not bad but in a BTB she goes to gaol too. She assisted the conspiracy of the other two nongs.

So, off to prison she goes too and for more than two years as well.

In a tie BTB it is revenge pure and simple. All suffer. So, with that in mind no sympathy for the cheating spouse, they get what they get and it has nothing to do with love or residual love.

I give you 4/5 lost a point for the sympathy he showed to her. Given what she did, she had no chance. Also for the time it took to nail her. It took way too long. He had her bang to rights half way through the story.

A good story just needs a few tweaks her and there and you will get what BTB fans want.

Write another, next story please you will get better with practise.

Wow this has everything I look for in revenge BTB story, other than the hubby getting his happy ending. Maybe a lil more dialogue from the cheaters but necessary. Overall I think u hit all the high notes.

Meh. Not bad. Same old same old. Did it feel good writing it?

Watch yout time-line. She shaved her snatch for her boss and her husband doesn't mention it for 3 months? When she was discovered, the affair was six months old and the husband did not confront for three months, yet he accuses her bosses of fucking her for six months.

He knows she's cheating and is still fucking her. This is always 1 star territory.

You changed the point of view several times. You also told your readers of events happening that David could not have known of.

The only part I didn't get was her being sentenced jail time, Did I skip over a couple of paragraphs? Cheating on your husband, while despicable, doesn't come with a 5 year jail sentence. Was she part of the conspiracy? I re-read the last page and didn't see it.

Appreciate the effort but honestly this had so much that was over the top. Improper relations w a subordinate can get you fired,ask Jeff Zucker. Could he sue the company? Not likely, they could say they didn't know and fired him.

Threatening him in a public place w killing David? Even not knowing about the PI and been wired, really stupid.

Kim could have gone to jail? For what, she didn't threaten him, it was clear it was Sinclair.

Agreed that the public sending of material could be revenge porn if posted on the internet or sent via email. Showing evidence of family to what she did prob wouldn't be considered that since it was private.

The PI? Why,he has her texts and such ( perfectly legal if he paid for the phone and especially since she knew the software was there and okayed it.

Given our fucked up legal system she would have retained custody, the Gloria Steinem legal laws rely on 19th century version of wives and mothers when it comes to kids while in other ways gives them full power w no fault divorce.

And the one big problem, was the Martian Slut Ray in use? Was she miss church goer with him and split personality slut with others? We never find out, like many lw wives women are all these sluts pretending to be loving.

In the end she understands she screwed up but falls apart,another cliche. She never tries to figure out why it truly make amends to David?

Good and bad ! It was over the top! If you know the right people killing is easy , life is cheap. So without a security guard 24 hrs a day. This David is a dead man walking. Is there such a women who can even think about doing this and getting away with it. Fucking all week long then going to her husband and fucking him. Really ,please make these stories more believable. This is the twilight zone!

Well you had all the pieces but you really need to make them work together a bit better, ok a lot better.

This threw me " I did question her on her shaved pussy and wondered how she would respond.

"This is new. Did you shave your pussy for your boyfriend? You never did that for me when I asked you before."

"No baby don't be silly. I did it tonight hoping to spice things up and show you that I'll do anything for you. I love you baby; I belong to you honey."

3 Months after she got back he questions just seeing her shaved pussy? So unless I really missed something her still acting like a loving wife didnt include sex?

Add in what other said below and the pieces of this story were all over the place. Slow down, think about the plot points you create and how they interact with each other one.

This may be what those I consider knuckle draggers just blindly cheer one because a lowly woman got hers without giving a damned about whether it was truly decently written or not, but for the rest of us, this fell apart like a Chinese made MAGA hat.

Good job!!

the only fault I could find was when he accused her of shaving her pussy for a boyfriend 3 months after he first noticed it on the pi's video. In the story you made it sound like it had just happened when she must have been hairless on her return from her time away for work.

No way he put up with that after the trade show. Once he had the PI report he should have acted. Why did he wait so long to get the PI report? Why did she do it seems like the big unanswered question in my mind. Seemed like a cliche-fest, and she totally got off too easily. Better than the last story but need to be more original.

"Her actress skills were at full throttle, and I just enjoyed the show." skills dont have a sex her acting skills were in full throttle. sorry had to get that out before i keep reading

Liked it, an enjoyable read with fairly satisfying burning. Didn't break any new ground by any means and the ending was a little depressing but still well put together. Leaned heavy into various tropes such as the wife that actually loves her husband but is a secret slut, boss porking her, big dick guy cucking the husband, and the guy cucking him think he is untouchable however nothing wrong with using them especially for a early story. 4 stars, would love to see more.

yeah cuck implies the slang fetish version of the word cuckold which is

cuckold

in American English

(ˈkʌkəld)

NOUN

1. the husband of an unfaithful wife

TRANSITIVE VERB

2. to make a cuckold of (a husband)

which is weird bc u used it right in the story not sure why u put the cuck tag in

6 stars for the writer! I love a happy ending! Maybe Dave could see his X just for sex occassionally. Maybe take her down to the tattoo parlor and get a tramp stamp on her lower back that says whore. And do what I talked my ex into (before she was my ex) was nipple rings, but after the 10 gauge (very big) needle went thru her left nipple she just about crapped her pants! It hurt like a fucker that was my BTB moment LOL

TO "ANONYMOUS" WHO PREVISOULY STATED ALL THE STUFF THE WIFE WOULD GET IN THE DIVORCE APPARENTLY DIDN'T REALIZE SHE'S INVOLVED IN A CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT MURDER. REMEMBER THE LAST MEETING?

This was not a bad story but the way the husband handle the situation, was slow and not very believable since he was supposed to be a disgruntled and hurt husband. I will give you *** because you are starting to write stories here. You will get better. Thank you

I don't know why he had to start with an apology. The grammar is fine.

The story is barely believable, but that's OK, author's privilege.

One thing bothered me: the gross time discrepancy. Quote, "I hate leaving you and the girls for 3 days." He received the message from Greg on the second night, yet 'She would be home in a few days' appears a few lines later. A lot happened in those few days. This isn't bad writing, it's just clumsy.

Please start using contractions, study a thesaurus and work on your grammar. It’s a good story, it just needs some polishing.

Keep writing you have talent.

5 🌟s

FH

Superb. 5*

No love stop when she was caught screwing the other men and all her lies. She got 5 years she should have been some Dike'S bitch for all 5 years.

Nope, didn’t work for me either in the real world or fiction. I suppose the husband wasn’t concerned about VD as he kept having “relations” with his wife. The only thing missing in this story was having Superman fly down and deliver the papers.

Very well written. Very enjoyable 5*

Timeline

Affair 6 months before found out.

3 months PI etc

Shaved pussy noticed and only brought out by him after 3 months?!

Etc

Okay, ReadRichard, though quite winding, brought up a few dozen points, most of which would be ignored in most jurisdictions. Hunter had moral rights to do the things he did, and the threat on his life put the icing on the cake. Admittedly, Hunter was about as extreme in his revenge as a person can get, though he could have just killed them all, got read of the bodies, sold the house, and left the country with his daughters. He is an engineer, and could get a job anywhere. Sounds like they had a good deal of money in household accounts, so they would live well until he found work. Point is, this an excellent blueprint for revenge, maybe for all women and men to read, before they start fucking around. Well done. Keep writing.

XYZ

Would of liked to hear Kim's explanation. good story