Swim, Butterfly Ch. 24

Swim, Butterfly Chapter 24

Girlfriend of a Working Man

A few days later, I call Jimmy, "Hey! I'm coming up Friday evening."

Pause. "Uh, this Friday? Really? That's great! But, uh, okay. What's going on?"

"Pete and I had our blow out, melt down, whatever you wanna' call it. He's watching the kids this weekend and told me to go do whatever I gotta do before we figure out what's next. We need space right now, anyways."

Jimmy says nothing for a moment, then asks, "So, what are you going to do?"

"Take it one day at a time. Figure out why I cheated in the first place. Take care of the kids. Otherwise, nothing. I'm not going to do anything."

"Where are you staying when you come up?" he asks.

"What?" I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it. Is this really Jimmy on the line?

"Listen," he says, "I have to work Friday night so I won't be around, and I don't know if you'd feel comfortable staying here if I'm not in."

The man with the voice smooth as velvet sheets, the same man who invited me to stay with him if I ever got divorced, just told me I can't go to his place for a few nights?

He continues, "I mean, you're welcome to stay here. I didn't mean to make it sound otherwise, it's just, I really should see you if you're here, but I can't cancel this appointment. Sometimes someone else can fill-in, but everyone's busy this weekend."

"That's fine, so I'll see you in the morning, or in the afternoon, or whatever. I still worry about you. I mean, is there something else going on besides this, uh, marriage?"

Jimmy sighs, "Yeah, sometimes."

"Well, like what? Highs and lows?"

"Yeah. Just worried about the future sometimes, you know? That's all."

I chuckle, "I hear that. Do something for me?"

"What's that?"

"Stay safe until I get there on Friday."

"Yes, yes, I will. You do the same. And Caroline?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

***

I pack more than just a weekend bag, because, who knows? I don't really know if I'll get kicked out or not. Pete and I have no idea what we are going to do next. We hardly talk right now. Rudy and June watch us, but say nothing and keep their heads down much of the time. I've since moved into the den on the first floor, outfitted with the cluttered daybed for the guests we never have.

"Dad snores and I need sleep," I tell June one afternoon, as she watches me carry an armful of pajamas into the den.

Pete looks pale when we briefly discuss the details of my upcoming trip. I can't blame him. He knows where I'm going although I never specified. I simply said that we needed space. It must be repulsive to think that some other dick has been inside one's wife, but then I still wonder why more people don't cheat, or cheat more often, and that maybe marriage needs reconstruction to make room for three. Who was it that said, "The chains of marriage are so heavy that it takes two to bear them, sometimes three."? Alexandre Dumas? Geez. I mean, come on, there's birth control galore and longer life spans, and no one person can itch every scratch. Who wants to live with an un-itched scratch that ironically doesn't heal, but turns into an open sore?

Friday arrives after a long, sickly week. I kiss and hug the kids goodbye. Rudy asks, "Mom, are you going to that hotel with the pool?" No. I hope June doesn't mention 'Drew' while I'm gone. That would put Pete right. over. the. edge.

I wrap up a few chores around the house and try to make myself useful, as if extra sweeping and dusting will make up for cheating. I wish it were that easy, and I realize, in some relationships, maybe it is. Not mine. What's funny is, if I'd met Jim thirteen years ago, our love, if you can call it that, would have put nary a ripple on the pattern of my life, but nine years ago I alluded to a promise, a promise that feels like a boa constrictor anymore. I smile--thirteen years ago, Jimmy was only a few years out of high school.

3:10pm. Pete gets home from work. I leave. Two ships passing without so much as one horn-blast. No, just ghosts. I turn into a ghost as I leave.

***

Hitting the open road feels like a lurid, middle-aged adventure. Sorry, no rolling seas or verdant jungles or glistening, snow-capped peaks against blue skies. Nope. Congested, grimy route 130/76/155/168, whatever the hell this stretch of road is called. And I don't remember the train ride to New York. All I know is that it should have been a beautiful day, with late April's pretty flowers carrying into May's gentle climate.

I don't need a map this time to Jimmy's place as the route's familiar now, even in dusk's fading light. I arrive at his apartment around 7:15pm, let myself into the lobby, and board the cranky elevator.

Jimmy said he had a job tonight, but I don't know how late. I have keys, but knock anyway and wait. I hear a shuffle, then a gruff, "Who is it?"

"Duh, Jimmy, it's me," I speak to the door.

"Ah, I thought so." Wise ass.

The ticks and tocks of locks unlocking echo through the empty hallway, and he swings the door wide open. I don't think I've ever seen a happier face or received a bigger hug, "Whew, glad you got here when you did! I don't have to leave for a little while, so we got a few minutes to talk." Jimmy says. He squeezes the hell out of me, rocking back and forth. I drop my bag on the floor and hold him. He smells of soap and a touch of unfamiliar cologne, his bald head shiny and smooth.

"How are you?" he murmurs in my ear.

"Okay, I guess, considering." We hold each longer, then loosen our grips.

"Do June and Rudy know?"

"No, I didn't tell them anything. I don't think Pete did, either. They know something's wrong, though, just not what."

"Hmm."

Jimmy picks up my bag and takes my hand, leading me to his bed. I inhale deeply through my nose. His apartment's cool and cleaner than last time, but not spotless, like the first time. He sets my bag down in a corner and entreats me to sit on the bed.

"I just want to talk to you for a few minutes," he says, his hand gliding down my arm. "You must be pretty shaken up."

"Yeah, it's gonna hit me in a lot of different ways, I'm sure. Sometimes I'm literally sick, sometimes I'm calm. It really is a roller coaster, and I hate roller coasters!"

Jimmy gently turns my face to his, "Then why'd you put yourself on one?"

The exhaustion finally hits me. Slumping, I reply, "Because life started feeling unreal, like a cardboard cutout or a boring TV show you know is going to get canceled. I wasn't feeling anything anymore, no range of emotion. Maybe that scared me more than getting in trouble, like a shell of me, dying inside. I mean, no one really wants trouble, but I don't want to spend the next ten or twenty years walking around like a zombie, either."

Jimmy leans forward, elbows on his knees, fingertips pressed together, "So, you still never really talked to Pete about it?" Pete. Sounds weird coming out of Jimmy's mouth, and he sounds so serious. Dr. Jimmy, now.

"No. Not yet. We never really connected on some level anyways, and now it'll just be worse. We just need some time to cool off before the next step."

Jimmy's quiet for a moment, then inhales sharply, "Or maybe it will bring you together."

He leans back on his arms, watching. I reward his comment with a frown.

"Or not," he continues, then smiles. "Hey, listen, I have to work tonight, and of course you are welcome to stay here, but, well..."

"Yes?"

"Uh, it's sort of related to another idea I had, and you may not be up for it, but..."

"Spit it out, Arseni James!" I poke his ribs, making him wiggle.

"Okay, okay," he giggles and smacks my hand away, "Hey, how did you know it's Arseni James? Oh, never mind. Listen, I talked to Charlene about this--she's my client, and I told her I had a friend visiting, sort of an emergency, so I asked her."

"I'm almost afraid to ask----asked her what?"

"If I could bring you along."

I stare at him, my heart speaking for me, thud... thud... thud..."Go with you?"

He shrugs, "Yeah. She said sure, and it could be fun. And it might give you some ideas. You wouldn't have to do anything. Anyways, if you don't feel comfortable with it, I understand. Just don't go picking up any strangers while I'm gone," he waves his finger at me.

I chuff and shake my head, "And this woman, Charlene? She's really, truly okay with this?"

Am I okay with this, watching Jimmy fuck someone else?

He smiles and nods.

"I guess if it means a few more hours with you, okay."

Jimmy smiles and kisses my hand, then my lips, chapped from dehydration and chewing them all day.

"Jimmy?"

"Yes?" He lets me go and leans back on the bed again.

"What's going on with this 'marriage' you talked about?"

His smile disappears. "Another time."

***

Adult Bring-Your-Date-To-Work Night. We leave in the dark just before a drizzle, taking a cab up streets, through Central Park, around corners. The cab's window wears an ever-changing lace of light rain, like a delicate barrier between us and the world. We ride quietly, his arm around me like we are meeting friends uptown for dinner, or picking them up before a show. I breathe deeply, watching the rivulets run down the window. I say nothing, Jimmy says nothing; we don't need to speak.

People hustling in raincoats with umbrellas blooming and dying come in and out of the brightly lit hotel. Jimmy pays the cabbie, gets out, then opens the cab door for me. He greets the hotel's doorman with a wide smile, but I can't tell if they know each other or not.

My arm in his, we walk quickly and smoothly past the front desk, Jimmy looking straight ahead as if he's got a room of his own. Unfortunately, a man and woman about my age board the elevator when we do, so we don't have a chance to discuss last-minute details. Jimmy squeezes my hand and smiles at me, and I realize that's all I need.

For a fleeting moment, I think about Rudy and June. Usually I'm tucking them in around 8:30. I try to push away the image of their faces and the rustle of their bedsheets. No, not now! I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, then open them again. The couple gets off before we do; the woman glancing at me, nodding briefly, wishing me a good night. She casts a quick look at Jimmy before stepping off.

We arrive at our floor. My stomach hardens and I grip Jimmy's hand. He almost has to pull me off the elevator. Guess I shouldn't wear lead shoes next time.

"Jimmy," I whisper, "what am I gonna do?"

"Well, first," he whispers back, "you don't have to whisper. There's no one around." He kisses the side of my head, "Just sit in the back and enjoy yourself. We'll go from there."

He stops before a door, raps softly, and steps back about a foot. He gives me another quick kiss on the head. I take a small step behind him, like a child hiding behind her mother's leg, peeking around the side. The door opens, and a woman not a lot older than me greets Jimmy,

"Hey, Jim." She nods him in.

"Hi Charlene, this is my girlfriend, Karen."

Charlene shakes my hand briefly. Her hand feels cool and smooth. "Karen, huh? Mm hm." A whiff of booze comes off her breath. She smiles, head back, brows raised. "I always wondered what the girlfriend of a working man looks like. Ex-client? Mm... no," she shakes her head, smacks his ass, and turns towards the bed. Jimmy grins, nods to me, and jerks his head toward a chair nestled between a desk and the thick drapes of the window at the back.

One lamp illuminates the beautifully decorated room with the cool, rose-scented air; not stuffy like my room at the Alton a year ago. Jimmy and Charlene chat while Jimmy dumps his keys and condoms on the nightstand, next to Charlene's key card and a fold of cash, then freshens her drink.

Charlene smiles and laughs, sitting on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed and foot swinging. Jimmy slips off his jacket and lays it across the bureau, slips off his shoes and socks and pushes them under the bed. He takes her drink, sets it on the nightstand, then takes her hands and pulls her to her feet. He leans into her, softly kissing her neck through her curled, shoulder-length brown hair. She tips her head to the side to receive his kisses, lips parted, eyes closed. He rubs her back, then glides his hands further down, pulling her hips to him. He leans back a little, gazing into her eyes with the same intense look he uses on me. His hand glides up her side, to her shirt button, slowly undoing one, two, three....

Charlene sighs as Jimmy brushes her blouse off her shoulders. As his hand drifts down along her arm, he flashes me the finger, a smirk on his face.Fucker! Charlene opens her eyes and looks at him. He gives her a goofy grin and a shrug, and gets back to work. He rubs his hands around her backside. "Why don't you lie down for me," he croons.

"Mm, okay. Are you done talking to your girlfriend?" Charlene murmurs.

"Yesss, Ms. Charlene," he whines, then chuckles.

She sneers at him, then smiles, and takes him down with her, falling back on the bed. Jimmy pushes up her long, off-white skirt, then hikes up her left leg. She moans as her head slowly tilts back. Jimmy's propped up on his left side, much of his body obscured by hers. I picture his right hand traveling up underneath her skirt, along the inside of her thigh. Her back arches, but he seems to take his time stroking her, playing with her.

"More," she whispers.

He switches his gaze from her face to her middle, that dreamy look in his eyes as she gasps. I think he really is in some other world, deriving as much pleasure out of pleasing her as she receives from his fingers that I imagine probe and caress inside her. I swear I hear the wetness crackling as his fingers work their way gently in and out, as she rolls her head back and forth, "More, Jimmy."

Shut up, bitch, stop calling him Jimmy!

My armpits sweat, my forehead heats, and I realize I'm sitting with legs so tightly crossed that one might snap off the other. I can't take my eyes off them, although watching Jimmy fuck someone else kind of hurts. He kisses her pussy, then stands up and takes off the rest of his clothes. He's erect and puts on a rubber in about five seconds, then gently pulls her leg straight and slips off her panties. I feel dirty and try not to look at her, yet can't take my eyes off them, watching Jimmy work despite the twinge of jealousy. And pride.

Charlene rubs her hands along her sides, as if begging Jimmy to please, please get inside. He climbs over her, now hiking her right leg up, keeping her left leg bent and down to the side, giving me a good show. He thrusts his hard, thick cock and she gasps, then he stops and asks, "You sure this is what you wanted?" Charlene digs her nails into his back and pulls, he thrusts again, making her cry out, then works the rest of his shaft into her gently until he's deep. She mews like a kitten as Jimmy's back arches, working her from different angles, touching and moving in ways that seem to react to her motions and sounds. She grabs his head and whispers something in his ear. He slows down and looks at her, his eyes wide, then he smiles, "Are you sure?" Charlene smiles and nods. He looks at me and nods me over,

"Come here."

I must look like a deer in the headlights as I point to myself, "Me?"

Jimmy laughs, "Yeah, you. Who else? Come over here, we won't bite."

I rise, taking short steps until I stand a foot from the bed.

"Charlene wants to watch me fuck you. Take off your clothes and lie down next to us." He continues moving slightly back and forth in Charlene, panting now, eyes closed again.

At first I shake my head, but Jimmy nods, mouthing, 'Now.' I take my clothes off, careful not to make any noise, careful not to disturb anything, as if I'm not here. My nipples harden in the cool room, and it feels rather good to be naked. I sit on the edge of the bed, palms flat on the mattress, then scooch back, keeping my eyes on Jimmy and avoiding contact with Charlene.

With a hitch, he withdraws from Charlene. He bites his lip, gingerly removing the glistening condom from his rock-hard cock. I catch a whiff of rubber and a sweet, musky scent that's not Jimmy's cologne and not the rose scent of the room. Charlene opens her eyes half-way, watching him, as her hand trails down and begins pleasuring herself. Jimmy takes a breath, approaching me, bareback and grinning.

He kisses me deeply, pushing me back onto the bed. He overtakes me and plunges in, filling me up, making me almost shout, but I gulp air and clamp my teeth instead. Now I smell floral perfume, and Jimmy's tongue pushes into my mouth again, our tongues winding. He comes up for air while making a hot, wet mess below with his beautiful, bare skin rubbing against me, warm and slick. He doesn't forget Charlene, though, and after a while, he reaches out, running his hand up her thigh.

"Charlene... cum in you... or Karen?" he pants.

"Me." Charlene replies, watching us fuck as her fingers tickle her clit.

Jimmy kisses me and with puppy-dog eyes and a sad-looking smile, withdraws and puts on a new rubber. He smiles at Charlene, too, and re-enters her glistening pussy. She moans as Jimmy fills her up again, and this time, I pleasure myself while the man I love fucks the woman lying next to me. He never had the chance to bring me to climax, but paying clients take priority.

He hikes himself higher over her, gently cradling her head between his hands, talking to her softly. Time for me to leave. I gather my clothes and quietly dress in my corner. Charlene sounds like she's on the verge of crying as Jimmy moves in her, talks to her, kisses her. I look and wonder, why would he ever leave this work? There's got to be a way to keep it going, some other angle.

Jimmy seems to take his time, but at last she cums, and not a violent, pillow-ripping orgasm, but warm and full and soft, ending in smiles and chuckles. He lies on her for a few more minutes, then withdraws and disposes of the rubber. He crawls back into bed with Charlene and holds her for a while. Not once have either of them looked my way since I left the bed. Now I really can't take my eyes off them because they look so peaceful. But they deserve some privacy.

I divert my attention from them to the dragon ring on my finger, rotating it back and forth. How ironic, me and Jimmy in this ring while Jimmy's ten feet away in bed with another woman.

Wait a minute. How stupid can I be? The two dragons don't represent me and Jimmy, they representPete and Jimmy. I slip the ring off and put it in my pocket. I shouldn't read so much into things.

The bed sheets rustle and Jimmy gets up. The soft light plays nicely along the curves of his toned body. Charlene sits up and moves to the edge of the bed again, smoothing her skirt and slipping her blouse back on. They chat about this and that while Jimmy gets dressed, like old neighbors who bumped into each other at the grocery store, and perhaps they were. He makes her a fresh drink, then waves me over to his side while he slips the fold of cash into his pocket. Charlene sips her drink and waves briefly before picking up the TV remote.

"See ya', Jimmy."

"See ya', Charlie." He shuts the door behind him.

Walking down the hall towards the elevators, Jimmy asks, "So, what did you think?" He wraps his arm around me and squeezes my side.

My face feels hot again,"Interesting. Exciting. Nice, actually."

"Did you ever watch two people do it in real life?"

"Oh, heck no!" A cool breeze chills the back of my neck and I lean into Jimmy.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, a chill passed by me, that's all. It's cold here."

Jimmy rubs my arm as he pushes the Down button.