Swim or Sink

Theresa led Susan through to the back of the house. Susan was surprised as they opened a door to find themselves in a room with a huge indoor swimming pool with the hot tub on a raised platform overlooking the pool. Susan could not think of anything to say that would fit her surprise except, "Very nice." This sounded so inadequate to her own ears.

"You can go for a swim if you like, first. Get the blood pumping around. It's twenty meters long"

"No thanks. I never learned to swim."

"OK. Jump into the hot tub."

"I don't have anything to wear in the tub."

"Follow my lead." Susan expected Theresa to go to a dressing room or at least a closet to bring out something to wear, but all she did was to go to a closet to bring out a pile of white bath towels. Theresa looked at Susan, shrugged and stripped off naked. "Come on. Just do it. Strip off."

Susan was nonplused. She had only ever stripped for two men she had been engaged to earlier in her life, and, of course, Chloe. Yet she was still somewhat drunk from all the wine, the chill was returning, and she had little fight in her to resist the idea of getting warm in the now steaming churning water.

As Theresa lowered herself into the water she urged, "Come in, the water's just fine and I will not bite. Hey, I may nibble or even lick, but no biting. Just joking." Susan undid her trousers and folded them over the back of a plastic chair, removed the down coat, and she then pulled off her sweater, her bra, and trousers. Her nipples became pebble hard in the cold and the excitement of the moment.

As Susan was about to step into the tub Theresa said, "Stop! House rules -- no panties. It's a hygiene thing." Reluctantly Susan bent down, removed her panties, and slipped as quickly as possible into the water. She sighed. The warmth felt wonderful.

Susan sat opposite Theresa and positioned herself with one jet playing on her back and two jets on the sitting bench pulsed up the outsides of her thighs.

"Normally I do at least twenty lengths before having the hot tub experience." Theresa stood up. "What do you think, am I getting my figure back. Tell me. What do you think? See any flab?" Theresa stood and turned around slowly. "Well?"

"You look great to me. You have a great figure. Your breasts are still a bit full, probably with all the milk, and the blue veins will disappear, I believe, once you stop feeding. I cannot see any stretch marks." Susan was now looking at Theresa's body carefully. "But if you don't mind me saying, I find the shaved pubic region a bit strange. I've never seen one like that before."

"Ok. I get that. But do you like my bare cunt?" Theresa thought she'd notch up the education of the prim Miss Smith. "Susan, can you say 'cunt'?"

"Theresa. No. I cannot. Vagina, yes. Not that. No." A part of Susan was wrestling, in her partially befuddled mind, with trying to find a reason for not saying the word. Of course, she knew the word, but some barrier went up as she thought about using it. Hearing movement behind her interrupted Susan's thoughts. She felt a jolt of shock run through her. It was one thing to be naked in the hot tub with Theresa but was there someone else: a maid or handyman, who? Susan sank lower into the water and looked around.

"Susan, meet Allison Chan. You may remember her. She was a year ahead of me. She's a neighbor. Lives three houses down from here. Allison, you must remember Miss Smith."

"How do you do? Please excuse me if I don't shake your hand. Its wet." Susan remembered the tall gangly Chinese girl who was all knees and elbows, with an intellect that was off the charts.

"Miss Smith. Hello. Wonderful to see you. How are you? Still teaching?" Susan relaxed a bit, but she kept herself low in the water with the bubbling water protecting her nakedness from Allison's eyes. Susan observed Allison had, in a similar way to Theresa, developed into an elegant, beautiful woman.

Theresa queried Allison, "I thought you never drove in the snow or sleet? I'm surprised to see you."

"Peter gave me a lift. He's outside now cleaning off the rear window of his auto. Be in in a minute. Anyway, I couldn't wait to see you. It's been three weeks. I flew back in last night."

Susan felt a small wave of panic about a strange man, probably Allison's husband or boyfriend, coming in and seeing her naked. She looked down at her body and was somewhat reassured that the churning bubbles were opaque. Nothing was on show. Nevertheless, she slid her bottom forward on the sitting shelf such that her chin was almost at the water's surface.

Susan saw a young man stride in removing his winter jacket. He looked over at Theresa and asked, "is it OK if I do a practice swim today? Since I'm already here."

"Of course. You know the routine. Shower off first." Turning to Susan, Theresa elaborated, "Peter swims here three or four times a week. He's in the school swim team and likes to get his training in here. He tells me it's less chlorinated than the school pool."

Turning back to Peter she introduced, "By the way, meet Susan Smith. You probably know her." She gestured with her hand towards Susan.

Susan was shocked to see Peter Liu, one of her students standing before her. One arm automatically covered her nipples and the other hand her pubic area. She managed to croak out, "Hello Peter." He had been at the top of her physics class for the last three years. She knew him well, and, unbeknownst to her, he had spent many, many hours looking at her, always with some suppressed yearning that never quite developed into a full-on lust-crush.

At that very moment the water stopped churning and became clear. After a few moments silently gazing at Susan's body through the now clear water, Peter stuttered, "Hi Miss Smith. Must swim now." He went bright pink and immediately turned away and marched down to the changing room at the other end of the swimming pool.

Theresa giggled, "Sorry about that. Bad timing. There must have been a blockage. The fail-safe is to shut down. Perhaps some of your pubic hairs block the tubes. Let me restart it." She casually reached back without looking and the water and bubbles stared their circulation again.

On a moment's reflection, but without having seen Theresa do anything as she looked at Peter, Susan suspected that Theresa had turned off the circulation pump. The bitch she thought, uncharitably.

Standing at the side of the hot tub fully clothed, Allison looked back and forth between Susan and Theresa, "I'm really feeling out of it." She immediately started to strip without inhibition. Susan was stunned but could not look away as her slim figure emerged. Susan could not fail to notice her long firm nipples, crowning medium sized breasts, and the fact that she too had completely shaven her cunt, as Susan secretly framed the word in her mind.

Allison slipped down by Theresa, and they kissed mouth on mouth. Allison looked over at Susan, "I hope you do not mind. I've not seen Theresa for a while. I've missed her." She was not really seeking permission from her old teacher, just offering a courtesy. She then turned again to Theresa and kissed her more passionately using her tongue in a way that it was clearly visible to Susan. Susan once more felt a voyeuristic tingling in her nipples and vagina at the same time.

"Don't mind us. We do this all the time. Allison's husband goes off to Hong Kong for six months at a time and as you know my hubby is away a lot too. We need our outlets -- and it's harmless enough." Theresa grabbed Allison around the neck and started kissing passionately. Susan observed as their hands came into play with each other's breasts. Susan found herself shuffling to one side over a jet the flowed from the rim of the bench seat in the tub so it could run up between her legs. She subtly adjusted her position of her legs, so the flow pulsed up between her legs over labia and clit. Susan found that she was pulling her own nipples under the water.

In a moment of disengagement from Allison, Theresa smiling asked, "need any help?" Susan simply nodded her head from side to side. She was close. Susan pushed her hand down firmly on her pubes as an orgasm pulse ran through her body. A wave of emotion seemed to boil up from within her and hot tears spilled down her cheeks. Theresa reached across to find Susan's hand and squeezed it. Susan was amazed and ashamed of herself. She never masturbated and she managed to keep her voyeuristic tendencies totally hidden until now.

"It's ok. Let go." Theresa urged.

Let go. Just let go. As the imperative took root Susan surrendered herself to her emotions. After a minute or so, she felt her orgasm wane. Suddenly realizing where she was and who was there, Susan whipped around to see that Peter was totally unaware of what was transpiring in the hot tub as he did lengths of the pool. A wave of relief broke over her and she sank down.

"I didn't know I would feel like that...that emotional" Susan said apologetically without specifically speaking to either of her companions.

"I'm guessing it's been a long time" Allison said sympathetically.

"Quite a while" Susan murmured. Once more, her emotions seemed poised to engulf her.

"Hey, you. Don't worry. You did good" Theresa said smiling and giving her hand another squeeze.

"As a religious person, I'd have to disagree with that statement," Susan countered.

Theresa barked back, "As a religious person, you have been educated to suppress your emotional and sexual needs. Your needs haven't been met for years yet they're still there like a small child hoping someone will play with her or just give her a smile."

"Yes, you may be right." Susan, feeling somewhat defeated and not wishing to argue the point, paused, and followed up with, "It's funny how sometimes the student teaches the teacher."

Susan said "I think it's time for me to go. It's been educational." Yet she made no effort to move.

Susan looked up and saw that her companions had resumed their embrace and caresses. She just watched in the afterglow of her own orgasm. She smiled as they reached their own mutual orgasms quite discernable from the way they were arched their backs with their heads back. They all took a few minutes to gather themselves.

"Warm now?"

Susan could not resist conveying the idea she was with them. "More like hot, actually." She grinned.

"Bravo."

"I really should be going."

"Sure?"

"Yes. This has been all way too much, in the nicest way."

The all climbed out of the water at the same moment. Theresa and Allison came round the tub in opposite directions sandwiching Susan in a nude and quite lengthy hug. "Take a towel." Susan had checked that Peter was still doing lengths. They all dried off. Susan dressed. Susan spotted Peter get out of the pool and head for the changing room.

Theresa took charge. "Let's see if Peter can drive you home. If not, I'll call a taxi. We have an account. I'll arrange to get your car back to your house or apartment. You'd better leave your address, phone number and your car keys."

Allison addressed Susan, "I'd love to have a chance to chat with you sometime. I'll give you a call at the number you leave. You were always one of my favorite teachers and I learned a lot from you." Susan blushed.

The party dispersed and Susan was driven home by Peter. Susan stripped off naked for the second time and slipped into the cool sheets on her empty bed. She was asleep in seconds.

******

Susan Smith was aware of the pain even before she awoke. Her head had a knife splitting it in two. There was pressure pushing her eyeballs out from their sockets. As she became conscious, she was aware of a second knife in her body. In her lower abdomen. She needed to pee so badly she had trouble holding on.

The act of swinging out of bed and getting vertical twisted the knife in her head and doubled the weight of her bladder. Susan stumbled into the bathroom attached to bedroom and sat on the toilet. A wave of relief swept over her as she let go. It was no ladylike piss; it was a flood. As the stomach pain subsided, the pain in her head increased. She reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out two caplets of Extra Strong Tylenol. She washed then down with two full glasses of water. Dehydration be gone.

Susan knew the cause of the pain. It was a good old-fashioned hangover. Only the second in her whole life. As her awareness grew, Susan became aware she was nude. She always wore pajamas. She knew she must have been in a bad way when she went to bed. Although it felt wrong to be naked, she was too distracted by her headache to put her pajamas on now. She slipped back into the warm bed.

The headache blocked all thoughts. As the Tylenol took effect Susan drifted into a light sleep.

Her second awakening was much more normal. Her head had a dull throbbing but was quite bearable. She tried to think about the circumstances that found her in her present state, but Susan had the strange sensation of an absence. It slowly dawned on her the absence was a lack of shame and guilt. She took two more Tylenol.

For a while, the teenage Susan seriously considered becoming a Nun under the influence of a friend. In the end she chose teaching instead. Her religiousness with its more demanding values hung around Susan like a soft net. Despite this invisible constraint, she was surprised that all she felt was a sense of pride about the way she had handled her recent transgressions. She had faced the unknown and mastered the challenge. She would have run away even a few years earlier. Now all she had to do is wrestle with her conscience.

Susan wondered what her parents would have thought of her. They had married, both for the first time, quite late in life. She was forty-two when her mother gave birth to Susan. Both her parents were gentle, pious people. Her mother taught math and her father modern languages -- French, Spanish and sometimes German if there was demand. In addition to following in her parents' career footsteps, Susan adopted religion from the example they set in their lives and embraced it without any parental coercion. There was no hellfire in their household. Susan thought they would have been forgiving for the way she had behaved.

Susan's thoughts returned to the previous day and realized a new window had opened for her. In her mind she tracked the journey from the meeting on a wintery day in January weeks earlier to the previous twenty-four hours.

******

Later in the day Susan phoned, "Theresa? I'm calling to thank you for yesterday."

"You Ok?"

"Bit of a fuzzy head, but yes I'm doing fine. How's little Susan? You know I'd love to see her again."

"Certainly." Theresa paused for a moment before recovering, "Of course, but let me get back to you on that. Your car will be back to you later today. Sorry, I really must rush. Caught me at a busy moment." The call ended abruptly.

Susan Smith was a creature of habit. Her solitary life was always focused on her students. They were her family and her children.

Susan had developed an optimal routine that suited her circumstances. She always went to bed early, usually before nine, and rose at five-fifteen every morning.

At five-forty-five each morning she went through her front door with outerwear appropriate to the temperature and precipitation. Susan's routine did vary a little. If her friend Samantha, called Sam, was in town, Susan waited for her to pull into the drive, and they went for a brisk thirty minutes' walk together. If Sam was away, Susan went by herself and jogged. She had three different thirty-minute routes around their mostly residential neighborhood. After her walk or jog Susan stripped down in the bedroom, showered, dressed, and had the breakfast she had laid out earlier. She was usually at school by seven fifteen.

Her evening routine was less structured because she never knew for certain what time she would be coming home. There was grading, which she preferred to deal with in her classroom, parent-teacher interviews, student counseling, exam marking, staff meetings, and twice a year extra-curricular projects she worked on. She sometimes arrived home shortly after four, but this was rare. Unless there was a meeting, she always tried to be home before seven. People who sneered at teachers' hours made her angry. Susan was dedicated to and very focused on her work. She loved being a teacher. It was in her blood. Her friends and many of her colleagues thought she devoted herself to her students too much.

If not otherwise occupied, Susan endeavored to sit down quietly at eight o'clock to consider the day that had passed and think about the activities of the next day. If school matters were quiet Susan caught up with current events in the newspaper. When she was younger this time was devoted to prayer, but over the years the prayers had become shorter and shorter until they had disappeared altogether. It was a time of quiet reflection based on the challenges, mainly school related, of her life as they were passing by. On Tuesday and Thursday evenings her period of contemplation was taken in a warm soaking bath, often spiced with fragrant bath salts and bubble bath.

The Monday after the March break conformed to Susan's usual routine. Sam drove up and they took off for their walk. Sam was a chatterer. She had recently returned from two months in Arizona and had a lot to tell Susan. It was Friday before Sam paused her daily monologues before she finally asked Susan how things went over March break. Susan would have liked to tell her close friend and confidant about meeting Theresa but had difficulty framing the story without making it sound demeaning.

Susan was pleased when Theresa called to set up another visit for the following Sunday, but on quiet reflection was not sure how she was going to handle it

.

She was in her Thursday bath when Susan's thoughts turned to her visit to Theresa, having been submerged by the weight of practical matters at school earlier in the week. As recollections about her first visit swirled around, she noticed a gap open in the bubbles on bath's surface of the water. Her dark bush of pubic hair was exposed. Her mind jumped to the shaved cunts of Theresa and Allison. She surprised herself how easily the word cunt came to mind, when all her life she had considered it obscene. She repeated it out loud, getting louder each time, "Cunt, cunt, cunt, CUNT." She smiled to herself. "And fuck, fuck, FUCK." Now she was grinning at her own mild private rebellion.

Susan was not that interested in sex. She never felt in need of sex. She was reluctant to label herself asexual, but she readily admitted to herself that she enjoyed and actively participated in her limited number of sexual encounters. She did not have the drive to initiate sexual activity but was quite willing to enjoy what was offered, providing the partner was kind, considerate, and quite acceptable to her. Masturbation held no attraction for her. Chloe and her two fiancées had initiated and driven her trio of sexual experiences. Theresa did the same for just the fourth time in her life.

.

As she soaked, she thought of Philippe in Paris when she was there to take some post graduate courses at the Sorbonne University. He had seduced her. Notwithstanding her lesbian relationship with Chloe, as a religious young woman, she only allowed Philippe to advance beyond some kisses and light petting after he proposed and gave her a ring. For Susan being engaged -- having intent to marry -- legitimized having sex. Over the nine months they were together, Philippe taught her everything she needed to know about pleasing a man sexually, and Susan became fully educated in her own responses to sexual stimulus.

After she returned to North America she wrote daily. Philippe replied initially once a week then every two weeks until she received the "Dear Jill" letter. After crying for a week, she sent the ring back by registered mail. After a while she did not miss the sex. She went further, coming to resent the very thought of the messy physicality of sex intruding in her life.