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She wont be married for long with a selfish vile mind like that

Pretty good first effort. I enjoyed it.

What's unique in your story?

Four inches.

In stories here, seven inches is entry level..:+))

More Fiction than Facts here? :+)))

Craft Advice: DETAILS! Writing Power is in The Details!

And Your Best Friend is...DEVELOPMENT!

Keep the story moving forward!

Example?

This pizza is tasteless and boring.

Or?

This pizza tastes like old ketchup on a thin piece of cardboard.

NOTE: Your most recent stories are LIGHT YEARS BETTER!!!!

Atta Girl...!!!

I liked this tale of 2 near misses if you will. Both marriages were hanging in the balance, good vs evil and all that.

A word or two of advice, if you are going to change point of view, you should really announce who we are following around. I understood your intention when it swothced to Linda, but the change was still jarring. Alamo there were a few minor technical issues but it's a free site so that's not a huge issue. If you feel that you aren't able to are them when proofing your own work, ask someone to give it a second set of eyes.

Good story and hope to enjoy the flip side now! 4*

Rnebular

I liked it, I think you did well with the story, from the wives point of view. I would like a bit more feedback (maybe a follow up from the husband's point) -- for Gary seems like an ass and Brett seems a stand up guy (mostly) ... keep working on your craft, this was a fine start.

I would think any hesitation or second thoughts would be before you were naked and touching, but I have no experience. I suspect if I got that far I would be too far gone to stop.

So one couple used discipline and commitment to preserve their marriage, and the other couple are just two cheaters waiting for the right opportunity. Guess which marriage has a longer shelf life?

Oh, you implied the 4-inch cock was the deal killer for the wannabe whore. So maybe she's just waiting for Mr. Big Dick, and neither marriage will make it for long. Something to think about.

Thanks for the effort.

I believe the word you wanted at the start of the last paragraph is "genres" , from Word Hippo.

You have some other observations you'd do well to study. From what I understand, you can ask for volunteer editors to help you fix the issues in your writing.

DO PLEASE CONTINUE.

Jazzharp, Thank you for the question. It is not what I intended. Linda learned how much emotional pain she had inflicted on herself in the days and weeks that followed. The blow to her self-image and the realization that she would have ruined her marriage took a real toll. She will never wander again. Sometimes the punishment meted out by others is not nearly as painful as what we do to ourselves. We all make mistakes in our lives. No one else other than Gary knows the truth and he was dealt a blow too by her rejection. Linda realizes that too. Ultimately we have to forgive ourselves and move on and try to be the best person we can. Linda never totally escaped the feeling she was unworthy of Brett's love and trust; that was the real punishment. Trudy and Gary will not last; that aspect was apparent to a number of readers.

I have attempted to modify the text to better reflect Linda's feelings afterwards. I think that will add to the power and value of the story once it is resubmitted.

Again, my thanks. Rachel

They need to switch spouses at least once

Since it was only one page, I could put together your story. I wouldn't have bothered if it was more than one page.

I like stories where people sober up before they've crossed the line. However, I have to agree that Linda would have cheated if Gary's cock was bigger. Is that really how you wanted your story interpreted?

Keep writing.