- Loving Wives
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Click hereKind of like a woman I knew that didn't know how good her husband really was for her until it was almost too late. But I would add a strange twist- one of her best friends had tried to seduce her fiancé at the same time. I wondered if Trudy would read something like that. At least she wouldn't realize how autobiographical it was.
- COMMENTS
KingCuddleover 3 years agoWhat's unique in your story?
Four inches.
In stories here, seven inches is entry level..:+))
More Fiction than Facts here? :+)))
Craft Advice: DETAILS! Writing Power is in The Details!
And Your Best Friend is...DEVELOPMENT!
Keep the story moving forward!
Example?
This pizza is tasteless and boring.
Or?
This pizza tastes like old ketchup on a thin piece of cardboard.
NOTE: Your most recent stories are LIGHT YEARS BETTER!!!!
Atta Girl...!!!
rnebularover 3 years agoI liked this tale of 2 near misses if you will. Both marriages were hanging in the balance, good vs evil and all that.
A word or two of advice, if you are going to change point of view, you should really announce who we are following around. I understood your intention when it swothced to Linda, but the change was still jarring. Alamo there were a few minor technical issues but it's a free site so that's not a huge issue. If you feel that you aren't able to are them when proofing your own work, ask someone to give it a second set of eyes.
Good story and hope to enjoy the flip side now! 4*
Rnebular
Driven2Readalmost 4 years agoI liked it, I think you did well with the story, from the wives point of view. I would like a bit more feedback (maybe a follow up from the husband's point) -- for Gary seems like an ass and Brett seems a stand up guy (mostly) ... keep working on your craft, this was a fine start.
