All Comments on 'System Failure Ch. 01'

Pretty good. Didn't even see any misspellings. Could have turned it into a short series.

It's a good start for a payback on the upper class.

I know it was non-consensual and blah blah blah, but I loved it and can’t wait to see more. Keep up the good work. You’ve got my sympathies with the nerve pain, been there, done that, it’s horrible. Here’s hoping for a speedy recovery for you. Take care, Rob.

You might consider adding more chapters to this story.

Piece of shit that cucks other men. Who should die in a grease fire, not be rewarded for this reliance on tech to try and pretend any woman would have him, even with the help of nanites.

I loved it! I hope to see more of Tom the hacker.

NoctustheOwl:

Thanks. And I do have plans for plenty of additional chapters. I hope you'll enjoy them.

Robcoles:

Thanks for reading. And I know it's non-consensual no matter what, but I think it works a bit better when it's only women who want to be impregnated.

Anonymous:

Thank you. We will indeed be seeing more of Tom.

Anonymous:

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it. Please remember this is fiction.

devildog0302:

I will indeed be adding more chapters. Thanks for reading and commenting.

lilefred:

Tom will indeed be taking the upper class down a bit (perhaps literally). Nothing violent, but in this society, the thought of a Servicer's genes becoming part of their gene pool would be horrifying if they knew.

Who doesn't love a "rags to riches" story flavored with the sweet taste of revenge...

The "girl next door" should share his secret and have a more active role in his adventures...

Love the concept and the Idea of a lower class giving the bitchy upper class what they want. But he should also find a way to move up or a way, to give him new opportunities'.

loved it, looking forward to more

You've created an interesting world here. I think you should find some way to make at least some of his targets want what he's doing to them.

This was fun. Bits of it got pretty dark - especially when he first hacked Silvia's implant not knowing the full effects - but it was enjoyable. I think you did a pretty good job editing it, too, so don't beat up on yourself.

I'm sorry about the nerve pain - that is rough. I hope that does get better.

This could just be my own kinks at work, but I do wonder if Emily is going to find out what Tom has been up to, and whether she'll end up being his co-conspirator.

@C_frommn:

Thanks for reading and the suggestion. He will indeed be moving up. Tom has some really long-term plans that we'll be seeing more of soon. A lot has changed behind the scenes in those seven months.

Anonymous:

Thank you. Emily will eventually be playing a role in this.

Always great to see an actual cuck in the comments throwing a hissy fit because a fictional story hit too close to home.

Great story can’t wait to read more parts thanks for writing and sharing. Hope your nerve pain gets better.

I enjoyed the creativity and the background. I am interested to see how other characters in future chapter are intertwined with Tom and potentially Emily?

@TommyCrazyGuN:

Thanks. I'm hoping to have more stories and chapters soon.

@bumpercars:

Thanks. That moment wasn't meant to be too dark: he had already tested it in simulations; he just hadn't used it on a human before, which made it a little bit riskier than he liked, especially because he didn't even need it to keep the family asleep in the first place.

Emily will indeed be playing a part. I won't spoil more than that.

How can this story only be a week old :( I'm ready for more...

@love4ladies

Thanks. We all appreciate it when our hard work is acknowledged. And yes: there will be more characters, and Emily will play a role.

@Gracie00

If that's a compliment, then thank you. I do have plans for more stories, including more chapters of this. Please keep an eye out.

I really enjoyed this story, looking forward to more!

Really enjoyed this story and looking forward to more chapters.

Will there be a later series where these half-siblings in High Riser society start to mate and start discovering their genetic similarities?

I hope your pain gets better soon, very sorry to hear that.

I thought your story was very well written and thought out though short but understood when your mention of your pain. I hope you recover quickly because I enjoyed this as the first of your stories I've read! 5 GREAT BIG FLAMING STARS!

RanDog025:

Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. The pain is finally gone. Really hoping it stays that way.

Paramalory:

Thanks for sharing your enjoyment. I appreciate every 'thank you' and comment readers leave for me. As for your question: I actually do have plans to address how these half-siblings are genetically different from their family, and the risk of discovery from that. Keep an eye out for what Tom's next move is! ;)

Caimbeul:

Sorry for not responding sooner. Next chapter has been published, with hopefully more on the way.

I love the premise and story, great work.

sci fi + mind control? sign me up!

excited to see where you take the story and how the main character abuses his newfound power

vizan:

Thank you! I already posted chapter 2, and keep a look out for more.

will_shakespeare:

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I put a lot of effort into planning this, so I always appreciate it when people notice.

I love the non consensual sleep breeding. Hope you write more! Also: they don’t always have to be asleep, a little helpless terror is sexy as hell.

doorknob22:

I have indeed written more. Check out the next chapter where (nice try, no spoilers here ;)). I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter, and I hope you enjoy more.

I like that he has let his wandering not go to his head. and get caught, Now if he could do a few politicians or their wives.

C_frommn

Politicians are indeed on Tom's radar. They symbolize and enable the corruption and oppression of The City, but targeting them doesn't necessarily help him in his long-term plans (yet). It's just a matter of time, though. Glad you enjoyed this first chapter in Tom's story.

At the first page of this story I thought direct, this is not a Mind Controle -story but a 'Sci-Fi & Fantasy', because all was written didn't come from the past, maybe it shall come in the future.

And maybe you can change that (technical) in the website of Literotica, because of the chosen type you get (I think) the right readers. Sorry this is not my story.

Eglefino

Thanks for the suggestion, but I do believe Mind Control is the more appropriate category since all of the sex involves and revolves around Mind Control. Regardless, thanks for taking the time to read. I wish you would be more specific about why it wasn't your thing.