All Comments on 'Take My Husband Pt. 01'

It is a good start, I hope there will be more.

Well done, Chloe!

*winks*

Great to read your fantasies!

A story about this from my past "...there is something about two tongues exploring a cock that turns me on personally..." but, damn it, I'm cumming up empty on this one. Several times, so close but no cigar, not even on straight time much less overtime. Now time for you to get writing, you've got several stories in the wind that need more chapters. ;-} Signed: BTW

The premise of the story is very seductive and stimulating for me and so a very enjoyable read. Your grammar and construction are excellent.

One thing that does pull me out of a story, is when I can’t imagine a realistic arrangement of three bodies in close proximity. Like when our husband is told to sit on the pool edge and the wife starts to suck him and Sabrina moves in under the wife to suck his balls. On a bed or floor I can just imagine how they fit, but sitting on the pool edge against a wall …. harder.

Still, that aside, I look forward to the next bit.

I'm sorry, but your changing from past to present tense in the middle of some sentences, your failure to use the correct punctuation marks for dialogue between characters, your failure to use a comma before proper nouns, and your completely forgetting to put required words into 2 sentences detracted from your tale too much for m. I therefore cannot give you more than 3 stars. I would highly recommend that you use an editor to catch these mistakes as I know it is hard to proofread one's own writing. Cheers!

The poor editing and the very clumsy, superfluous attempts to write money-porn turned me off pretty fast