Tales from the Club: Susan's Reboot

When we got back to the parking garage in her building Susan took a deep breath and said, "Would you like to come up for coffee?"

To which I replied, "Only if you'd like me to."

"Yes, I would. But just coffee or tea, no me, okay?"

I took her hand and kissed it. "Of course, Susan. I promise you I'll be good."

There was another deep breath when Susan got to the door of her apartment, another Rubicon moment, I thought, but then she set her jaw and let us in. She put our coats to the closet and led me to the kitchen where she got the coffee going. I could tell that while she was trying, she was still tense, so I was careful to keep my distance. When the coffee was done, she reached into a cabinet and brought out a bottle of Baileys Irish Cream. "I like some of this in mine; would you like some?"

I told her that I'd better not since I would be driving home but that she should go ahead and have what she normally had. She poured a short shot into her glass then gave me a look and poured another, then we headed back to the living room. She took a seat on the sofa. I could tell that she was still tense even though I'd told her I wasn't expecting to spend the night, so rather than joining her I sat in a chair opposite.

We sipped and sat in silence until Susan had finished her coffee, then she got up and said "I'm going to have another. You?" I drained my cup, got up and handed it to her, allowing my fingers to touch hers. I was happy to see that, again, she didn't flinch. When we got to the kitchen she made another pot of coffee. This time when she poured hers up she added about twice as much Baileys as before.

On our return to the living room we resumed our separate seats, which seemed to please Susan. Again we sat and sipped, Susan faster than me thanks to the Baileys having cooled hers down, and because she wanted that Irish courage.

Finally, Susan looked me straight in the eye and with a look of abject misery on her face said, "Oh,, Christ, John, what am I supposed to do?"

"Susan, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know John. Part of me wants to ask you to take me into the bedroom and make love to me. The other part wants to run into that room and lock the door and not come out until I hear you leave. I'm afraid that Brutus really did a number on my head."

"Yeah, I know. And I'm really sorry about that. I'd like to do what I can to help but I want to make one thing crystal clear. If you got up right now and took me by the hand and asked me to go into the bedroom and make love to you, I wouldn't do it."

"Why not? From what I hear you're a sex addict. What is it, I'm not pretty enough? Or am I too crazy for you to want to be with me?"

"Susan, believe me, you're plenty pretty. Actually, you're beautiful, a regular red-headed china doll. On top of that you're bright, and while you might not think so, you're a strong woman. A weaker woman would be cowering behind her bedroom door waiting for me to leave instead of trying to deal with this head on. The truth is that you have everything I find attractive in a woman, and I've wanted to be with you from the first time I saw you at the SAA meetings. As for fucking, let's change fuck to make love, because you deserve better than a wham-bam thank you ma'am. But I don't want to do that now, and not because I think you're crazy. Yes, I think your head is badly screwed up where sex is concerned, and you are horribly vulnerable. After what you've been through you'd be crazy if you weren't."

She gave me a rueful smile. "So like I said, what am I supposed to do."

"Well, I have an idea, if you're willing to trust me enough to try it. You might think it's kind of screwy."

"John, from where I am right now, 'kind of screwy' is probably an improvement. What do you have in mind."

"Okay. Let's see if we can reboot your feelings about sex by taking things real slow and easy. Like the instructor said in the Monty Python sex-ed scene, you don't have to go for a home run the first time at bat, or something lime that. How about we start with a little cuddling and petting, knowing that it isn't going to go anywhere, and that I'll stop whenever you tell me to?"

"What if I say yes but when we actually are doing that I panic and can't go on?"

"Then we stop and you tell me to wait a minute, or go back to my chair, or go home. And I do that, and when you feel like it we can try again some time. But you will be completely in control, and I am not going to get pissed at you if any memories of what your asshole ex-husband did to you get in the way."

Susan finished the last of her Baileys and coffee and said, "John, would you please come over here and just hold me a little. I could really use a friendly cuddle right now."

I was more than happy to oblige. Putting down my coffee cup I moved over to the sofa beside Susan and put my arms around her. Not surprisingly, she was tense, but after a couple of minutes of me doing no more than holding her I could feel her loosen up, and she rested her head on my shoulder. I decided to take a chance, and I took one of her hands in mine and just held it for awhile. There was a little catch in her breathing, but then she shifted her body to nestle closer to mine and her breathing returned to slow and steady.

"I've never been close enough to notice before," I murmured, "but beside being beautiful you smell really good." I wondered how lame I sounded; but it was true, she did smell good.

"That's not me John, that's Herbal Essences."

"Well here's to Herbal Essences, then." I gently lifted the hand I was holding and kissed the inside of her wrist. When I kissed it again she tilted her head up toward mine, with her lips slightly parted and her eyes almost closed. If that wasn't saying "Kiss me," I hadn't learned anything about mating.

I kissed her, gently, on the lips, and then on her eyes and cheeks, and back to her mouth. Susan didn't pull away or push me away, but at first she was passive, until once when my tongue was tracing her lower lip, her tongue darted out and dipped slightly into my mouth.

Rather than charge right in, I broke the kiss and pulled back. Susan opened her eyes and I gave her what I hoped was a quizzical look. It must have been, because Susan just said "Please," and closed her eyes again.

I took advantage of the break to lean back until my head was on the armrest. Susan followed down on top of me and, as I had hoped, she was the one who started the next kiss. This time I let her set the pace of our kissing, while I began caressing the nape of her neck. Soon our kisses became passionate, tongues dipping and twirling, teeth gently nibbling lips. I wasn't sure what more to do until Susan took my free hand and guided it to her breast. Even through her blouse and bra, I could feel the nipple, full and stiff. Gentle rubbing brought a moan and an even more passionate kiss.

It also caused me to forget that Susan was supposed to be in control. My hand began to wander from breast to hem of skirt. But as soon as it touched her thigh it was stopped in a vise-like grip while Susan broke our kiss and pulled away from me.

"No, John," she said with some heat.

Though she was visibly upset, Susan did her best to reassure me. "John, you were doing great. We were doing great. I was really enjoying myself, us, all of it. But the idea that nothing was going to happen really helped me get this far. When I thought about what comes after you getting your hands in my pants, it scared me. I'm sorry."

While feelings of frustration at being stopped at second base washed over me. I quickly tamped them down as I realized the seriousness of my blunder.

"No, Susan, I'm sorry. It's my fault for pushing you too far. My little head started taking over and I forgot about you and your needs. Joan would be disappointed and Martha would be pissed at me all over again. I really am sorry."

"Actually, if you were dealing with Joan, you'd have your tongue on her clit by now," she said, trying to lighten things up, "And Joan says you helped bring her back from some bad shit, too, so I have faith that we'll make it eventually. In all senses of that word.

"But your go slow idea was a good one. Let's save the anything more for tomorrow night, shall we."

An offer that I couldn't refuse even if I'd wanted to, which I didn't. Tomorrow was Thursday, and normally I would be having visitation with Little John that was really babysitting while Gloria went to class. Missing that was going to hurt, but I didn't feel that I could risk not keeping Susan's momentum going. Gloria was going to be pissed at the last-minute change, and it would cost me for the babysitter, but the best laid plans and all that.

"I'd love to," I said. "Where would you like to eat tomorrow night?"

"Let's make it simple. I like to cook, so how about dinner here at, say, 7? I'll ask Mary to clear a parking space for you so you don't have to walk over in the cold."

"Wonderful" I said, drawing her in for a kiss. "Now let me get out of here before I make any more bad moves."

Thursday when I showed up I was happy to see that Susan had chosen clothes that were easy to get into, or out of for that matter. Dinner was simple and delicious: salad, two kinds of quiche and homemade bread. It was decidedly light, and that plus the wine that flowed made me wonder if Susan had been hoping to work up to some full-blown love making.

After dinner, I helped her clean up -- something she said she liked, and that Brutus had never done for her even in their good times -- and that gave me a chance to "accidentally" brush against her a few times. When we took our wine to the living room Susan led me to the couch. This time Susan initiated the kissing, and she wasted no time in bringing our tongues into play.

However, even though she started out willing and eager, our play stopped at second base again, though not before she had let me unhook her bra (which I was delighted find had a front snap, making it easy to open) so that I could play with her breasts rather than just feel them through her clothes. Susan gave me no indication that I should go below the waist, and I made sure not to repeat my clumsy mistake of the night before. After about a half hour Susan said, "John, this is feeling wonderful,. I wish I were, but I'm not ready for more at the moment. Please don't be mad."

"Mad, hell," I said. "As long as you're having fun, I'm good." (More or less true, though I did call Joan when I got home, and asked her to spend the rest of the night with me.)

"Then should we try to pick up tomorrow night where we left off?"

I explained to her that I had to work at New Xanadu on Friday nights. I asked if she might want to come along to see the club, but she said she was not ready for that.

When she asked about the weekend I told her that Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon was my visitation time with Little John, so those times were out. And Sunday evening I really needed to work at the club again, since visitation meant that I was not pulling my weight on Saturday nights.

"You're not just making this up because you're upset with me for, you know, not letting you get to third base, are you?"

"Absolutely not, Susan. After spending time with my son, there's nothing I'd like more than to be able to come over here and try to seduce you. But I really do have these other obligations outside of my 9 to 5 weekdays. Don't take my word for it; ask Joan or Mary or Martha. They're the ones who have been suffering because of my visitation schedule."

"I believe you, John. Then let's make a date for Monday evening. Same place, same time?"

"Would you like for me to bring some food, or would you rather cook."

"Let me cook, please. It may not be the quickest way into a man's heart, but it's something I can be sure to do for you whether you get into my pants or not."

Other than "Thank you" and a deep kiss, I decided to leave it at that.

Friday night was a heavy one at the club. To make up for my absences on Thursday, I pulled a double shift on the desk, and I made a point of devoting my off-desk time to casual surveillance rather than looking to play.

Saturday with Little John was great. At 4 years old his vocabulary finally seemed to be catching up with his desire to talk about what interested him, so he was a lot less frustrated and moody than he had been the year before. Also, Gloria and I had agreed to put him a Montessori pre-K program, and that gave him lots to talk about. We had a great time, even if that meant I had to eat at McDonald's, whose food I loathe, for one of our meals.

Sunday I again did a double shift on the desk at New Xanadu, but as it was a slower night I allowed myself a little play time afterward. I showed a new couple around and after the tour they invited me to go with them to one of the private rooms so that hubby and I could DP the wife. Not that I needed any other reason -- the wife was attractive and eager -- but I figured a nice fuck would help make things a bit less urgent on my next date with Susan.

Monday evening I arrived at Susan's refreshed and hopeful but calm. As before, dinner was light, and we both had a little wine with it; less for her this time than before, I noted.

I again helped with the clean up and was rewarded with a big hug and a kiss. When she broke the kiss, I said, "I have an idea. Will you go with it?"

"Is it better than what we were doing before?"

"It might be. In fact, I think it will be kind of fun it its own weird way. And if it's not we can come back here and pick up where we left off."

"You aren't talking kinky weird are you? And it'll be just us?"

"Well, kinky is where you find it, but I'm pretty sure it's nothing you haven't done already. And, yes, just us."

Susan gave me a quick kiss and said, "Okay, let's give it a try."

I took her hand, gave her a longer kiss of my own, and led her to the door. She started to guide me to the closet for our coats but I told her we wouldn't need them.

We then took the elevator to the parking garage, where I took Susan to my car and helped her into the passenger seat. I'd made arrangements with Mary to have a space at the very back of the garage set aside for my car, with one of her SUVs shielding it and Martha's car occupying the space behind. Even if someone else was using the garage that night, we were unlikely to be noticed. I got in and turned the motor on.

"Where are we going?" Susan asked as she started to buckle her seatbelt..

"Spatially, nowhere. Temporally, back a ways. I just want to run the heater for long enough to take off the chill. Then we can turn it off and make our own heat without having to worry about poisoning ourselves. You might want to take off your seatbelt."

Susan leaned over and kissed me. "John, this is really cute. And it does take me back to some good times. But I don't think we're going to do well with these bucket seats with that gearshift in the middle." Opening her door she said, "When you've got the car warm enough, come join me in the back seat."

With the car warmed up, I did as I was told, and soon we were in a full clinch. Since Susan had invited me to play with her breasts already, I figured it would be okay to go there again tonight. While unbuttoning her blouse and unhooking her bra, I kissed my way down her neck and collarbone arriving, inevitably at a nipple that I was happy to find was already fully erect. As I licked it and then took it into my mouth Susan folded her arms around my head, hugging me to her and urging me on.

As I moved from one breast to the other, I could feel Susan shift her hips so that she was sitting flatter on the seat. I hoped that meant what I though it did. I wasn't about to stop and ask; I just moved a hand onto her thigh and began inching up under her skirt. Feeling her spread her legs was all the invitation I needed to keep going higher. When I got to the elastic of her panties, I paused, then moved a finger outside her panties. The cloth was already moist. I pressed. Susan moaned and opened her legs wider, so I slipped my fingers inside fer panties and into her pussy. My mouth still sucking on a nipple and my fingers caressing her clit, I soon brought Susan to an orgasm.

She pulled me away from her breast. When she caught her breath she said "Too sensitive," but she was smiling, and she seemed happy to leave my hand inside her panties.

After a while I sat up and began to move Susan so that she was lying down on the seat.

She pushed back and said, "No, John, I'm not ready to go all the way yet. Besides, when I am I want a nice warm bed and not the back seat of a chilly car.

"But here," she said, "I don't want to leave you all hot and bothered," and she began unzipping my pants. I was completely hard by then, so she was having trouble getting my cock free. I helped by undoing my belt, she had no trouble with the pants button, and I lifted my ass off the seat enough for her to pull down my pants and underpants.

I had hoped for a blowjob, but all Susan gave me was a handjob. It was a very good handjob; three times she brought me to the edge of an orgasm before she finally let me go over the top. I may not have gotten the blowjob I had been hoping for, but I did have the satisfaction of seeing strings of my cum land on her face.

"Eew, you guys sure are messy," Susan complained in a mocking voice, with a disgusted look on her face. "I'm not going to clean all that up." Then she laughed, scooped a glob of spunk off her cheek and put it into her mouth. Once again I knew that we were okay.

After I cleaned up the rest and we got our clothes back in order, I took Susan back to her apartment.

"Would you like to come in for coffee? Just Coffee, mind. It's been a great evening on lover's lane, but that's as far as I want to go tonight." Coffee sounded good, and I sure wasn't going to spoil the progress that we had made tonight by pushing for more.

Over coffee I explained that Tuesday and Thursday evenings were for visitation with Little John while Gloria went to her night class. I'd made excuses and paid for a sitter the previous week so that we could have our "dates," but I didn't want to make a habit of missing my time with him. Both Little John and I were still having some problems adjusting to Daddy not being able tuck him into bed every night. So we set our next time together for Wednesday evening, again at her apartment.

When I arrived that evening, dinner was not ready but Susan was, at least to a degree. She all but pulled me into the apartment and onto the couch, were we immediately got down to some heavy petting. This time she let me get her panties off, and she seemed to thoroughly enjoy being eaten out. But when I started to undo my pants she stopped me. "No, John, I'm still not ready. I'm sorry. Let me jerk you off again. Please."

Well, I could act out my frustration and risk wrecking our progress to date, or I could get a pretty expert handjob. Of course, being a guy, I elected to get in a snit -- just kidding. I laid back on the couch and let Susan get my pants, and then me, off. With more room than in the back seat of the car she was able to use both hands, playing with my balls as well as my prick. As before, when I came she scooped up some of my cum and put it in her mouth, but this time she didn't swallow, instead passing it over to me in a deep kiss. I'd had my cum that way many times before, so it did not bother me in the least. But I did find myself wondering why a woman who had no problem with cum in her mouth didn't want to suck on the dick from which that cum came. Something else left over from Brutus's brutality, I suspected.

Since we hadn't had supper and we'd hit the limit of sex for the evening, I took Susan out for pizza. A handjob and a slice seemed like something we might have done well before Brutus had had a chance to mess her up. Over our pizza I reminded her that between visitation with Little John and my need to work at New Xanadu, I would be tied up until Monday. I again asked her if she would like to come to the club with me Friday night, just to take a look.