Talisman of Hate

"Another beer?"

Harry nodded. "I'm having a Portuguese steak tonight. I really can do with something badly unhealthy. Join me."

Peter winked at the waitress and once at the table asked for a refill of their beers, medium sirloins with a soft egg on top and French fries with hot sauce on the side. "So, your dad is a bit of a dork. What happened next?"

Harry laughed. "Here it becomes really interesting. Dad met a girl and he was smitten. She was a little wary but accepted his advances and they eventually settled into a shaky romance. And then one day..."

"She met Johnny?" Peter laughed and almost choked on his beer.

Harry nodded and laughed loudly. "She dropped Dad like a hot potato and moved to Johnny. He was still mourning the passing of Peggy so the romance was long in starting. Years in fact, but she kept at it and eventually Johnny opened up. During that time Dad met Mom and they had an almost whirlwind romance. I still take the Mickey out of Mom because of that but she honestly loves my dad and he loves her. They are a near perfect match and they are good to, and for, each other."

Peter twirled his finger on the table. "Ok, but why does Johnny feature so.... Nooo!"

Harry nodded. "Julie's dad."

Peter frowned. "So, your dad hates Johnny's guts but why does it send you into turmoil when you see her?"

Harry looked down at the table and mumbled something Peter could not hear. "What was that?" he asked loudly and Harry looked up with pain in his eyes.

"I bullied her Peter!" he said in that impossible moment when a hush settled in the pub. Heads turned their way and Harry tried to sink into the floor.

For long seconds Peter just looked at him. He tried to picture Harry bullying a girl but he just could not make it stick. "Define bullying Harry."

Harry chuckled. "I never touched her. Say what you like about Dad but one thing he instilled in me was that you never ever, for any reason whatsoever, lift your hand against a woman. He maintains that running away from an angry woman is an honourable thing to do. If it was to be revealed that I had physically hurt that girl, Dad would have beaten me to within an inch of my life."

"So you bullied her. How?"

"Apart from physically hurting her I did just about everything else. I was in with the rich crowd and we had fun with the less fortunate kids in school. Julie was my personal target because my dad fuelled my attacks on her. I tormented her at every chance I had. My greatest joy was to get her to burst into tears. Man! That was sweet victory! Once she started crying I was on a roll! I used to follow her making sick remarks about her, her looks, her clothes, their rather aged truck, her dad being a loser and beggar, and sometimes even anything I could think of at the time."

"Nobody intervened?"

Harry smirked. "Once, a young kid from the 'not so rich' block stood up for her. We ganged up on him. When we left he was bleeding from a broken nose and he had bad welts where we had kicked him once he went down. That ended any attempts at intervention and added fuel to our attacks. Girls were still just verbally attacked but some of the boys were really hurt. And always we had a water tight alibi. We rarely did our deeds in view of other kids. And those stupid enough to split on us were given some real bad treatment where there was no help forthcoming."

"Mr Cliffendale," Peter mused with a soft smile. "I never would have thought this of you. It is quite sickening to hear that the young man I accepted as flatmate and eventual friend was such a terrible person as a kid. I also take note of the fact that on occasion I have seen you show great compassion and kindness to the less fortunate so it moves me to think that you may have changed. Can I take that as truth?"

Harry nodded vigorously, pulling a face. "In high school I ran into myself after Mom caught me being ugly to a kid. She actually cried and a mirror turned, showing me what I was. Bad to myself and even worse to those around me. I dropped those 'friends' but my reputation had been cemented in. I tried making new friends but I was only tolerated up to a point and then they would move away. A couple of days before I left school I found Julie all by herself in the rose garden of the school. It was a place we all revered as a sanctuary and when I saw her there I decided to try and make amends. Believe me, that took every ounce of guts I had. I approached her and I could see her tense up. Her eyes spat every disgusting feeling she held for me but I persevered. I got so far as saying her name and for some stupid reason I reached for her and a clot of soil hit me square between the eyes. It hurt. Badly. It also filled my eyes with enough grit to pave the road to Cairo. I lost my balance and sat down pretty hard, taking at least one very thorny rosebush with me."

Harry sipped his beer and watched as their food was placed before them. He smiled his gratitude and the pretty waitress left. He absently stared after her without really seeing her before carrying on. "Anger is a hateful thing. When I got some air into my lungs again I retaliated by yelling something like: 'You worthless bitch! I hope you die of hunger!' before throwing whatever I could lay my hands on in the direction of where I had seen her last. Acting like the spoilt brat I was. By the time I could see again she was gone and it was the last time I saw her."

Peter pursed his lips. "Ah so. And you did not see her again before the other day?"

Harry shook his head. "No. I never thought she would go to university, let alone go to the same one I was at."

Peter nodded as he chewed. "So what now?"

Harry pulled a face. "I just need to get over this. When we were small we were very close and always played together. She was my very first friend and she used to follow me around where-ever I went. There are many moments that are etched into my memory as little gems. When I ran into her the other day I was too surprised to say anything but each and every one of those little memories came rushing past me and have been tormenting me when I try to sleep."

"She's a nice kid," Peter grinned. "I met her in the library today and helped her with a small chemical problem. She kissed me."

Harry smiled a lopsided grin. "Yeah right. I guess it was a toe curling hormone gush kiss."

Peter shook his head. "On the contrary. It was an 'I am eternally grateful to you and would like to be your friend' type of kiss."

"Are you going to pursue the matter?"

Peter tilted his head. "Blanche is my girl Harry. You know that and I have every intention of taking her on my life journey. So far I have met and even casually had a few girls go somewhere with me but no, Blanche is my one and only. Julie is safe from me but I like her and I am definitely going to befriend her properly."

Harry sighed heavily. "I like her too. In fact, I like her too much for my own good. Have done most of my life and fought the feeling by being a monster. I know I have lost any chance of ever winning her over to me but hope is a damned thing. At night, alone in bed I think of millions of ways to approach her. Sometimes I hope for a miracle but of course, that is unfair to people who really need miracles. There are only so many of them available."

Chewing on a piece of steak, Peter spoke around it. "Miracles may be in limited supply most of the time but there is one thing some of us have oodles of. We sometimes guard it as if it may run out. Sometimes we squander it but contrary to general cynicism, it always pays back positively. Maybe we should try some."

"And that is?"

"Kindness my young friend."

Harry chuckled. "I think if I saved Julie's life, she may thank me and then move away as quickly as possible."

"And why would she move away as quickly as possible?"

"To get away from me."

Peter laughed. "And why would she want to get away so quickly?"

"To stop herself from saying something," Harry sighed. "I think she may throw me with verbal dirt so thick I would need an ocean to clean myself. She may even slap me."

Peter laughed. "Just desserts you pompous, arrogant, self centred, bullying, unfeeling rich brat."

Harry sat back and stared at Peter. "Are you serious?"

Peter laughed again and shook his head. "Preparing you for the verbal assault from Julie. Although, judging from what I saw this afternoon, she most likely will not even acknowledge your existence, never mind waste her time in yelling at you. Save her life and she will thank you honestly from the bottom of that beautiful heart and then walk away feeling sad that you are an unapproachable asshole."

Harry lifted his eyebrows. "You are not being kind to me."

Peter sat there looking at him for several seconds before speaking. "On the contrary Harry. I didn't know about this sordid part of your past and quite possibly never would have known, but Julie's appearance here obviously jolted you to your core. Cowards would have kept quiet and most likely may even have placed the blame elsewhere. You told me what you had done and that took guts. I could see honest regret all over you."

Harry nodded. "True story...."

Peter shrugged. "Well, early days still but I suggest you keep your best behaviour at the front and if you should run into her again, greet with honesty but try not to smile like a Cheshire cat."

"Meaning?"

"Try a humble face you schmuck. A confident attitude will just make her angry, thinking you are still at your old game."

Harry nodded and looked over the rest of the patrons in the little pub. "I think we must go home this weekend."

"Thanks, will do. I miss your mom's cooking."

***

Thursday afternoon Peter found Julie studying in the library again. He went to a shelf; got the handbook he needed and went to her desk. "Miss Julie?"

She looked up and smiled happily. "Hello Peter. It is good to see you."

Noddin he indicated the empty chair next to her. "May I?"

"Please," she said cheerfully and moved her books a little to one side.

As Peter sat down and opened his books he turned to her and smilingly asked; "Any missing electrons keeping you awake?"

Julie became animated. "You opened up something in my brain the other day Peter. I think there was a slight blockage somewhere up here but the way you showed me the process cleared that up completely. My professor was quite chuffed when I insisted on explaining it in class yesterday and a number of my fellow students came to thank me afterward."

"Good for you. Share the knowledge."

"That is what professor Blackheath said. He also knows you."

Peter nodded. "He should. I have been a misbehaving lout in his class for four years now."

"Misbehaving?"

Peter shrugged. "We do not always agree and I can be very verbal sometimes. We have had the odd battle of the mouthed brain a couple of times."

"He has a huge respect for you."

Peter nodded. "It is reciprocated."

"What are you studying?"

"BSc Confusion."

"What?" Julie giggled.

"Thankfully my parents can afford keeping me here almost indefinitely or until such time as I figure out what I want to do with this lump between my ears," Peter chuckled. "I got here and started in electronics but I soon found it boring to study. You know, studying something that is already outdated while you do so just did not grab my imagination. I then moved to Civil but it built no bridges in my head. I nearly dropped out but decided to try Chemical engineering and so far it is working for me."

"Ever thought of doing the computer sciences thing?"

"Never! I use computers to do what I have to. Like my car's engine I do not need to be able to build one or fix some major breakdown just to be able to use it. Same with computers. Quite honestly I find them the most boring things ever invented."

Julie chuckled. "So, the girl who marries you one day will not be left somewhere in the house while you sit and play games or hammer away at coding."

Peter shook his head. "No, she won't. Applying for the position?"

"No. At least not yet," Julie chuckled. "You seem like a nice guy. You're brainy and not bad on the eyes but I'm not on the market."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Some jerk holding on to you?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. Currently I have issues with the dating game. It will go away but I have no desire to hurry it along. My studies come first and consequently any guy will find himself left in the cold."

Peter pursed his lips and nodded. "Good thinking. And just to set your mind at ease, I am not available either. There is a rather curvy blonde bombshell who has me tied down."

Julie snickered. "And where is the bombshell at the moment, seeing as you feel free to flirt with me in the library?"

Peter smiled. "At another university doing her best to be the top scoring medical student ever to grace their campus."

Julie nodded. "Ah, I see. Two brainy people getting together. Poor kids."

Peter pulled a book towards him, avoiding her eyes. "Speaking of kids. You are someone's kid. Where is home?"

Julie's eyes lit up. "About twenty minutes drive this side of Black Water Spring."

Peter looked at her. Her eyes were bright and alive. She had a happy smile all over her striking face and he felt himself drawn to this seemingly innocent girl. Before he could wake the rather sleepy guard at his mouth he asked; "Been home lately?"

"No," she said and he could see the shadows of sadness drown her smile. "I do not have a car and for my parents to come and fetch me is just too big a hassle. It is a four hour drive from here. Eight hours total to fetch me and another eight to bring me back for a weekend? Won't work."

Leaning over his writing pad he scribbled a few things down before turning to her. "My friend of doubtful character I was to meet on Monday evening also comes from that area. We are visiting his parents for the weekend. If you'd like you can come along."

Julie sat up straight. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. We plan on leaving immediately after classes tomorrow. It is only four hour's drive and we will drop you at home or where-ever suits you."

Once again Peter was treated to an impromptu kiss. This time just ahead of his ear and he felt the tingle of it drifting down his spine. He made a mental note to phone Blanche as soon as he could. They needed to bond again because this dark haired girl next to him was messing with his brain. Absently he wondered if Harry ever had the honour of getting a kiss from her. If so, he could understand his friend's obsession.

Julie drummed on the table top. "My last class ends at twelve tomorrow. I can be ready any time after one."

Peter shrugged. "I have class up to two. Meet you at the main block parking at half past?"

Julie leaned over and hugged him. "Thank you Peter. You are a very special type of friend."

Peter pulled her close and mumbled; "We have to stop this idle chatter and study."

Much later Peter walked into the flat he shared with Harry and he watched the bowed head of his friend, deep in concentration over his books.

"I invited your girl to come with us for the weekend," he mentioned casually as he set the kettle to boil.

Harry turned a quizzical face to him. "My girl? Last time I checked I was mostly by myself."

Peter watched his face. He wanted to see this. "Julie," he said as casually as he could and watched as a whole menagerie of emotions slipped over Harry's face. "She hasn't been home since Uni started and I am sure she desperately wants to go home for the weekend."

Harry sat there looking at his friend. "And how do you suggest we fit into the same car without her scratching my eyes out or simply bailing out while we are moving? Provided, of course, she even gets into the car."

"Err uhm. I never really gave it much thought. Two cars?"

"Oh. I guess I go by myself?"

Peter shrugged. "You are free more than an hour before me. It is a bit of a waste but I don't want you attacked in my car, so you start for home and we will follow a little later."

Harry chuckled. "And during the weekend we pop into town and run into her. What then?"

Peter shrugged. "We've been there how many times and you never saw her. So, if we run into her, it happens. There is no law that says I may not be friends with the both of you. If she threatens to have an aneurism because of my friendship with you, then so be it. I like her. I love someone else. If she stomps out of my circle, tough cookie.

"She won't."

"I know. She seems to have a big heart."

Harry nodded. "She has."

"You love her?"

Harry sat back in his chair and laughed. "You know what? For a young male with very definite heterosexual preferences you are almost as inquisitive of my love life as someone who had designs on me."

"Answer the question."

Harry sighed heavily. "No.... Well, yes but too much animosity in the past. I feel awful when I think of what I had done to her and it bubbles to the surface. I think it confuses my feelings toward her. She has every grain of respect I can give but to love her? No. Given the chance I think I am quite willing to make a total fool of myself for her but that may simply be because ...."

"Confusing."

"You think so? Try it from this side!"

Peter chuckled. "Thanks, but no thanks. I like a straight forward life. I have fallen for Blanche, hook line sinker and possibly the rod and reel as well but if it goes sour I will be shattered to the core and then probably mope for the rest of my life. Withdraw from humanity maybe, but jump onto the dating game train again? No. Too much hassle."

"Same here. Right now my hormones say yes but my studies say no."

"Right. That is sorted. By the way, your mom going to make that cold guava dessert?"

Harry laughed. "When I told her last night that we were coming she mentioned that it may be on the cards for the weekend."

"Goody."

***

Julie walked into her room and dropped her books onto the bed. With a sigh she kicked off her shoes and flopped onto the bed next to her books. Her roommate smiled at her and carefully put down her pen.

"Upset?"

Julie simply smiled and rolled onto her back. "Not at all! I am going home for the weekend!"

"And the sigh?"

Julie chuckled. "You meet a guy that is absolute life sharing material and he tells you that he is most definitely not available. He is everything I could possibly want in a guy and he is only willing to be a special friend. It sucks!"

"Who's taking you home?"

"He is."

"Staying with you at home?"

"Nope. Visiting some friend of as he says, doubtful character, in the same area."

"So you can't even seduce him?"

Julie laughed. "Seducing Peter won't happen. He makes it no secret that he loves a particular girl and I think any girl who tries to wedge in there will very quickly find herself pushed to the side.

"Any man can be seduced."

Julie sighed again. "Yeah, I guess but I'd rather keep him as a friend. He is brainy."

"Nerd?"

"Nope. Just brainy without being lost to the world. I told you. Life sharing material."

"Eye candy?"

"Ohhh yes."

"Then have fun and see where it plays out. He may just have a scrumptious friend."

Julie sat up with a frown. "I wonder who his friend may be? I know most people from that area and no-one I have seen here to date fits into his age bracket. Harry may come close but Peter must be almost five years older than me and that makes Harry about three years his junior so he does not fit."

"Harry the animal?"

Julie nodded. "Harry the Hun."

"The one you hate."

"Despise actually. In no way will I expend the energy of hating a piece of human garbage like Harry Cliffendale."

"Still with the childhood bullying?"

Julie nodded. "You know, we played together as kids. He was special to me then. Two years older made him bigger and stronger. He could do things I attributed to Tarzan and the like. I adored him. And then one day he turned into a monster."