Talisman of Hate

"We will talk," was Johnny's parting words and Henry nodded with a hopeful smile.

It was late that night when they heard running feet in the corridor and then saw Julie almost skidding into view around the corner, followed closely by Peter and Blanche. The moment Julie saw Brigitte, her face contorted with emotion and as they collided, Julie sobbed softly into her shoulder.

"Is Harry ok?"

Brigitte chuckled. "Not yet my dear but he will be. Soon."

Peter and Blanche greeted Henry while Julie was holding on to Brigitte. As they let go Julie turned and found herself face to face with Henry. Her mind ground to a halt. What now?

As she hesitated she saw Henry mouth 'please?' while reaching for a hug with so much pleading in his eyes that she could not stop herself. As he enveloped her in his embrace she felt his chest heave and then kisses rained down on her head as a sob wracked his body. To Julie it was too much and she clutched at him with all her power, sobbing into his chest, still feeling the big man sob.

They separated into a very embarrassed group with even Peter having teary eyes. Henry still had his arm around Julie's shoulder and the way he held her close made it clear he had no intention of letting go. Resigning herself to what was happening she turned to Brigitte.

"What happened?"

They retired to the cubicle reserved for ICU visitors and the story was told for the umpteenth time. At the end Julie sat looking at the door to Harry's room.

"May we....?"

Brigitte softly shook her head and explained the protocol. Julie bit her lip and nodded.

Not long after the nurse came out, gave them an update and as a group they left, Henry once again walking with his arm lightly draped over Julie's shoulder just holding her near and at the car he bent down and planted another kiss on her head.

Once in the car and the older couple out of earshot Peter turned to her. "I am astonished."

"About?"

He chuckled. "Never in my born days did I think Henry Cliffendale could cry and even less show the affection he did toward you tonight. I met a new man in there."

Julie giggled self consciously. "You told me he is a nice guy."

"Yeah right!" Peter laughed. "As if you believed me."

Blanche let out a long sigh. "My heart broke into a million pieces there."

"You can come around tomorrow to scrape it together. In the meantime, do you girls mind if we get home? I am ready to fall asleep behind this wheel."

"Home James and don't spare the horses!" Julie giggled as Peter slowly drove out of the hospital grounds with his mind busy.

As Henry accelerated away from town, Brigitte turned to him. "I want to say something?"

"Of course!"

"I like the new you."

Henry snickered. "I had to almost lose my son to see the error of my ways. Or more correctly, see that I may not have the chance to rectify my wrongs. When Julie ran towards you with tears in her eyes something struck me. She is the one who apparently took the brunt of Harry's bullying and yet she cried. Because she cared! She should, or maybe, could have been my niece. Peggy's daughter. If she was, I would have loved her like I do Harry. Soon she may spread her wings and fly away and I may never see her again. I know she is not Peggy's but so what? Peggy loved Johnny and I think she would have wanted me to look out for Julie as much as if she was her own."

"And Johnny?"

Henry shook his head. "No. That ain't gonna happen. And not because of me not wanting to but what I did to Johnny will take a lifetime to work through. He will tolerate me and that is about as much as I may ask."

"If I reached out to Charlotte, would you mind if we became friends?"

"She would love that I'm sure!" Henry smiled. "As long as you do not invite Johnny and me to any of your things. Too much tension."

Brigitte simply nodded and watched the road rush by. Their world was changing....

***

It was another two days before Harry was taken off the heavy sedatives to allow him to wake up. Brigitte was next to his bed when he groaned and twitched. She had stopped in mid-sentence in her rambling talk but once he settled down again, she carried on. More than once she had goose flesh at the exciting thought that soon she would be able to have a full conversation with him again.

It was late afternoon when Harry at last became awake enough to react to voices around him. While family and friends waited anxiously in the little waiting room his bed was carefully hoisted to an angle to allow him to see around him through the hole in the bed. The doctor spent a few minutes with him explaining what had happened, what his injuries were and what lay in store for him before he would be completely healed. Harry listened as attentively as he could but there were times it sounded as if the doctor was speaking inside a box and there were times when he wasn't sure if he heard correctly. He didn't really care either. His brain was still fuzzy.

"Your parents are outside Mr Cliffendale. Do you want to see them?"

For seconds Harry simply stared at the doctor. He tried to speak but something was wrong and all he achieved was a grunt and a feeble nod.

For the first time both parents were allowed inside and they stood next to the bed, excitedly speaking together and at the same time. It soon transpired that grunts were the form of communication for now and the way of talking adjusted to that. Brigitte was still talking when they noticed no reaction from him and she anxiously leaned forward to see why but then came upright with a smile.

"He's sleeping Henry," she whispered and they softly crept from the room.

Three days later Harry was moved from ICU to a private ward and even though a strict protocol of infection prevention still prevailed, it was possible for friends to visit as well. Although free to go, Julie declined the invitation to go into his room as soon as it was allowed. Henry begged her to go and speak to Harry but stopped the moment he saw anger well up in her eyes. He caught Peter's eyes and an imperceptible movement of his head made it clear that Julie was not to be forced into the room. Even though she was at the hospital every time Peter went there, she seemed happy to hear from others how Harry was doing. He had regained the ability to speak and often she heard snips of conversations he had with those next to his bed.

Rather early one morning Charlotte heard a car pull up to the house and watched through the window as Henry got out of the car, had a look around and then leaned back in to come out with a manila envelope before he walked up to the door. She met him there and after a slightly strained greeting he first held out the envelope to her and then pulled it back with an embarrassed chuckle.

"Sorry Charlotte. Uhm.... I need to do something and .... err ..... I don't know how to approach you."

Charlotte gave him a wide eyed look. "You're here."

"Yes," he chuckled again. "May I come in?"

"Johnny is down at the dam if you want to see him."

"No Charlotte," Harry mumbled. "I need to speak to you."

With a shrug she turned around and walked back into the house with a very nervous Henry following her, repeatedly changing hands with the envelope.

"Something to drink?" she asked as he sat down on the tip of a chair.

He drew a long breath and chuckled. "I think I need something strong for my nerves but a glass of water would be just grand."

As Charlotte got up to go to the kitchen she stopped and, looking over her shoulder, she asked. "Why are you so nervous Henry?"

He held up the envelope. "Because I don't know how to do this."

She turned fully to him. "Spill it Henry."

With an embarrassed giggle he opened the envelope and extracted a hefty document which he held out for her to take. "I need Julie to sign that Charlotte. On one hand I don't want her to know what she is signing as I fear she may refuse it, thinking it is a peace offering. To my shame I have become aware of things Harry had done to Julie and I know I should have guided my son but I didn't." He chuckled as Charlotte curled her eye at him. "On the other hand I think she needs to know everything of it before she signs."

"What is it Henry?"

Henry turned beet red. "The title deed to 'Rushing Streams'."

Charlotte felt the blood drain from her face and she stepped back to sit down while staring at the document in her hand. "Why Henry?" she croaked.

Henry stared at his feet. "I cannot reverse time Charlotte. I did what I did and there is nothing I can do to make it undone. Technically I stole Rushing Streams from Johnny and I know, even if I begged him for the rest of my life, he will never take it."

"You got that right Henry. And Julie?"

"She could have been my niece Charlotte. As I said to Brigitte. I would have loved her as my own but through my vindictive hate I destroyed that chance. If Peggy was alive, Rushing Streams would have been Julie's anyway. When the kids were small she used every chance to go there with us. I have seen her there many times in the past years. Peter also told me that she expressed a desire to have a large enough plot of land one day to be able to have a small conservancy. Rushing Streams is gigantic and she may have a viable nature reserve if she wished. Never mind a small conservancy."

Charlotte bit her lip and looked out the window. "If she refuses?"

Henry shook his head. "I thought of it. I have already altered my will. When I die, she will inherit it anyway but once again time will have been lost."

"What is in it for you Henry?" Charlotte asked carefully and to her astonishment Henry simply laughed.

"Nothing Charlotte. Absolutely nothing. Brigitte warned me that I was trying to wash my soul. Not true. At least, I think so. I simply need to do it. I should never have had it anyway. I wheedled Johnny out of it through my childish hatred."

Charlotte stared out of the window to where the mountains reared up to the sky. "What should I tell Johnny?"

Henry cleared his throat. "If I knew that, I may have been less nervous. I thought of keeping him in the dark until such time as everything is done. I know he is angry and quite deservedly so but he can ...."

"I will tell him before I ask Julie to sign." Charlotte interrupted him. "The anger Johnny carries is aimed at you Henry, and definitely not at Julie or Peggy's farm. Keeping him in the dark will lead to anger as you have yet to see."

Henry nodded. "My mistake Charlotte. Do you think Julie will sign?"

Charlotte put the document down on a table. "I have no idea Henry. She hates Harry and for good reason. That hate and anger also spilled over to you and she may react in a funny way. I know she loves Rushing Streams and even painted the mountains a few times." She chuckled. "As a toddler her pictures of a house always resembled that of Rushing Steams. Taking it as a gift.... That is a different kettle of fish. She may see it as a peace offering and those things always have a whole bunch of strings attached."

Henry rubbed his hands through his hair. "Julie comes to the hospital every day but so far she refused to go into Harry's room. I understand why and I don't blame her. I also discovered something else Charlotte."

"Yes?"

"Brigitte loves her and always has. When she arrived at the hospital the first time we hugged and I went to pieces. Well, in fact, we both did. It was as if my own long lost daughter had returned. I wanted to crush her into me."

"She told me."

Henry looked up and Charlotte saw the uncertainty lie shallow in his eyes. "I hope she ..."

"She found it comforting Henry."

Henry nodded and looked at his feet again. "I know Brigitte would love to spend time with Julie. Will you allow that?"

Charlotte almost gasped. "Henry! Julie is a young woman with her own mind. If she formed a friendship with Brigitte there is no way on this earth that I will even comment on it. I like Brigitte and I am sure we may have been close friends if it hadn't been...."

"...for me and my spite," Henry mumbled but found a smile to go with it.

Charlotte tilted her head in a powerless shrug. "Maybe we should make an effort to mend. Not just our history but also ourselves."

Henry sat back and licked his lips while wiping over his hair. "I killed our ginger plant."

Charlotte almost jumped out of her chair. "What?!"

Henry nodded. "I don't do herbicides but once in a while something gets on top of me. I was on my way to a patch of the garden with a whole container in my hand. I tripped over an uneven paving block and the bottle flew into the ginger bush." He looked at Charlotte with an odd smile. "There is an entire garden Charlotte but it had to fall into the ginger. And why did it have to fall almost right in the middle with the neck of the bottle pointing downwards?"

"What did you do?"

Henry chuckled. "Panic destroys your IQ. I did everything wrong Charlotte. I washed it down with copious amounts of water thinking it would help. All I did was to sign its death warrant." His voice went thick. "It was all I had left of Peggy."

Charlotte leaned forward. "Our ginger is overgrowing its patch of garden. I can give you enough root stock to start a small industry."

Henry took a deep breath. "I thought of it Charlotte and I may still take you up on it but that one in our garden was the original. It carried Peggy's fingerprints."

"This one as well Henry."

Henry nodded. "I know. I could feel her still living here when I walked through the garden when I visited for the first time."

"Shall we go and cut a few roots? It will grow."

"Peter found a dried out piece of it in their kitchen. Harry nursed it for weeks and we planted it in a corner of the garden where it may be safe from anything." He chuckled without mirth. "I was so sure it would never grow that I even said I would beg Johnny's pardon for what I had done."

Charlotte looked up at him and a wisp of a smile formed on her lips. "And if it grows Henry?"

Henry winked at her. "It was before the fire Charlotte. Whether or not it grows, I have already gone to Johnny. We may never be friends but at least he knows that I am deeply sorry for what I had done. I hope he understands."

Charlotte sat thinking for a while and twice she started saying something only to lapse into silence again. Henry chuckled. "Seeing as we are on open ground Charlotte. What is it you want to say?"

She took a deep breath and squinted at him. "Why did Harry bully and torment Julie?"

Henry looked at the floor and shook his head. "This may sound like a lie but I never knew he singled her out. I know he and some of his friends formed a gang of bullies. There were times I had to plead with the school board not to kick the little bastards out of school but I swear I never knew he bullied girls and Julie in particular." He paused. "If I had known he would have danced around me and a strop."

"You never noticed anything?"

Henry sighed long and hard. "I attributed the animosity between our two kids as a....a.... a continuation of my hatred and instead of doing something about it I unwittingly goaded him on by doing nothing and constantly mouthing off about Johnny." He sat back and folded his hands behind his head. "As I said to Johnny. I failed. I failed myself. I failed Peggy. I failed my son by not guiding him. I failed everybody. My fear right now is that I may overdo my attempts at unfailing."

"Like Rushing Streams?"

Henry chuckled. "No Charlotte. Taking Rushing Streams from Johnny was like my ultimate vindication. I floated on the glory of it for a very short time before it started gnawing at my soul. Many years ago I had the awful thought that Peggy may have had the accident because she was crying. Crying because she missed me, thinking I hated her. Even then I considered giving the farm to Johnny but I knew that the only way to give it to him was to come crawling to him and I was not prepared to do that. I never developed the farm further but simply maintained what we had done before. Legally she left the farm to me in her will but that will was drawn up before they were married. I should have been man enough to give it to Johnny but I was too proud and filled with stupid hate."

"So?"

"So Julie should have it."

"And what about Harry? Won't he object?"

"No."

"You seem sure of it?"

"Harry is a lot of things Charlotte, but jealous or greedy he is not. To set your mind at ease. Last night I kind of bounced it off him. His reaction was simply "about time".

"So he knows?"

"Yes."

Charlotte nodded and glanced at the title deed. "I will speak to Johnny tonight. He will not object but I need him to know. Julie, on the other hand could be different. I have no idea how she may react to this. She may be over the moon or she may drive to your home and ram it down your throat."

Henry chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "I will simply have to have a copy made then."

***

Peter sat down next to Julie and nudged her softly. "I want to say something Miss Julie."

She smiled at him. "Go right ahead."

"Promise you will not attack me?"

She sat back with large eyes. "Should there be a need?"

"Nnnno. But Miss Julie is sitting on a knife edge."

"You think so?"

Peter mused for a few seconds. "While Blanche is in there with his parents I want to speak to you."

"Is it about Harry?"

"Of course."

"Lemme guess. Because I care enough to be here every day you want to read something in it?"

He shrugged. "Well, yes but also something else. He's asking for you Julie."

"I see."

"Yes, but no, you do not. Every time we walk in there he asks about you. He's happy when he hears you are here and I can see the sadness when I tell him you will not come into his room. I see the concentration on his face when you sit here talking to someone and he can hear your voice."

"You want me to go into his room and have a long chit chat with him?"

"Stop being ugly! Not a chit chat Julie. Just be there. Just.... I dunno. Just say something like 'Hi'"

Julie looked at him and grimaced. "Now?"

He shook his head. "No Julie. When you are ready and not before. All I want is that you should know he asks after you."

Julie nodded. "When you speak to him again, tell him I send greetings."

"Ugly?"

"No Peter. Not at all. You may tell him I send my regards and I honestly mean it but please don't expect me to go in there and speak to him. Not a single one of you have even an inkling of how I feel towards Harry. He robbed me of a happy childhood because he intentionally hurt me almost every day. If it wasn't for my parents and their loving understanding and support I may have buckled under. There is a wall of insurmountable hurt between me and Harry and it stays between him and me. Even the day at the waterfall. He walked me home, holding me steady all the way and yet, when I could do so, I moved away from him as soon as possible. I ...."

"You realise it is making you ill?" Peter interrupted her gently.

"What?"

"Nurturing this hatred."

"I don't...."

"You do Julie. I beg of you. Break it. He stopped doing what he did to you long ago and I know he suffers from it as much as you do. You with the, let's call it, 'damage' and he with the guilt." He took a deep breath. "I am taking Blanche back home tomorrow. I will be here to pick you up and take you with me in four days. In that time, please Julie, work on yourself."

"Doing what?"

"Burn the hatred."

"How?"

Peter shook his head. "Only you will know that. It is yours and yours only. Long ago I told you to go and climb Kilimajaro. Your hurt is terrible Julie and a soft happening will not take it away. I know that this incident with Harry burning touched you to your core. I watched you on our way here. You were a nervous wreck all the way here and you ran into this hospital before Blanche and I could even get out of the car." A mischievous smile curled around his mouth. "Under that hatred you still love him as you did when you were small. I'll bet on it. And something else I'm willing to bet on."