All Comments on 'Taming Tawnee'

an amazing story that was very well thought out. If this is true than completely beautiful, if not still amazing.

I was willing to go the whole 14 pages, and probably should have, until the apology at school... Sorry

Couldn't stop reading. Loved the character development. Such a sweet story, with the requisite hotness. Thanks

I really liked this story, very much!

And it would be a 5*... except for the school apology: Tawnee should have used the witnesses for her own good, proving that her harsh answer had been provoked by Mandy.

Anyway, I bookmarked you and I plan to read more of your stories!

I don't have a problem with the school apology. Made her human, and brings reality into it. That was the straw to make her look at herself and realize she treated people like shit. You can be hot,sexy, horny, whatever and not be an asshole. Good reality check. 14 pages was getting to be a bit of a novel, but a good read nonetheless. Expand it and write a paperback book. You'd put Harlequin Romance to shame.

It's easier for the reader to work through a single chapter than three or four chapters of four or five pages each. I've just sat and read the whole thing in one sitting and thoroughly enjoyed it, even the apology.

Well written, believable characters, and good plot to the story. What more does a reader need?

I loved the story, and thought the apology was needed for her to grow in both as a person and in her relationship with her brother. With that being said I believe that after he graduates from school they realize that they still need and want each other and renew their relationship ... but that is just my opinion

Thank you for a wonderful story

...with how you took the 'raging bitch" to a soft-sided sister that hooks up with Will and gets tender for him. I really loved the time she slammed her drink down on the table and got Mandy when she broke Will's heart with Doug. You took your time writing the characters, and it showed--except for the closing.

I don't "get" you separating them when it's clear they complement each other so well. Symphony appears to be Will's match, but only on paper--it's obvious they don't gel and I'd like to see another installment where Mony gets dumped because Will needs Tawnee and Tawnee needs Will. Despite the fact the story states T found a few her age in the firm, it's obvious the town does not fit her lifestyle from a practical point and she will get bored.

Seems you've left the door wide open for Will to join Tawnee, as this last page doesn't convince me in the least he and Mony will make it: it just doesn't feel right, nor does it fit with the rest of the story. I hope to see another story where you reunite them under some kind of plausible circumstances, as no one in Springfield will know they're brother and sister, so there's tons of possibility left.

This was a good story until the end. They should have found a way to stay together. I was really disappointed they won't be together.

This was a very well written story! One of the best incest stories that I've read on this website for a very long time. Thanks for sharing :)

While I enjoy short little fling stories as much as the next guy, I'm a sucker for a good romance! I couldn't stop reading until I reached the end, and, sad as it was to end, I couldn't think of a better way to end it, Thank you so much for writing it, and I'll be sure to see what else you might have!

Very well written story although anti-climactic at the end. I suppose every story can't have the perfect ending but I very much enjoyed everything else. The sisters transition from bitch to normal person was well portrayed do I agree with other comments in that I'd have loved for them to find a way to be together.

http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/ken/TamingTawnee.txt

just a heads up

Enjoyed it alot, good shit

I really hope there is more to this as the ending was no ending at all, you had my interest all the way through, damn fine writing and then someone pulled the plug and flatlined it. If that was the end please revise and rewrite, this story needs a better ending.

Enjoyed the tale, and a tough ending because we like happy endings. Yes, it was sad they couldn't be together, but that was her choice, and for it to work for both of them, both of them have to want it. Like the players, it seems that many readers had a hard time letting go. That's says a lot. Exceptionally well edited, too. Only caught a very few errors. 5*

Only objection was when he goes from her ass to her pussy without a soapy clean up in between. Doing that can actually cause serious, life-endangering illness for the woman. Pretty nasty bacteria live in the colon, which is why the lining of the intestines are so tough to penetrate. These are bacteria that have survived stomach acid before arriving in the guts. The transfer of fecal matter into the pussy is not safe. Sometimes you get lucky and nothing happens; there are some built-in safety factors. But you can get vaginitis, a UTI, or even an e. coli infection. Men who do it without the clean up in between are ignorant louts. My only peeve with the story.

Thank you for sharing!

This was too amazing, i came for a short one-off but couldn't resist reading the whole thing in one sitting. The ending was a little weak, could use a few more words, but really wasn't that bad and sort of represented what the whole story was about. Thank you for writing this. You should seriously consider making a full paperback book, your a phenomenal writer, and i feel like you would be just as good at an action/adventure type novel as you are at romance

usually I avoid long Astor es but I liked this one a lot. Well done!

Excellent story.

I loved how this was really about the relationship than just about sex.

Really great story.

I have to agree that so much of the story was great, until you started to end things between them. Everything was so 'reasonable'. No passion. It left a feeling of boring, too safe, crushing.. despair. That was the extent of their love?

Two pages is all I could take of that annoying bitch!

especially From the City to Simmons and Abby and I, but after seeing a comment on the frontpage about the ending I just couldn't read it. Maybe if you do a follow up i will. Not many people want to invest in a story with a less than satisfactory ending.

A well thought out and superbly written story. I must say though, the ending waxed a little vanilla. Having said that, I strongly feel the story cries for ensuing chapters. Well done!

I enjoyed the way you let the relationship build into a deep loving affair, and then the ache of their separation. Well done.

I loved the story. It is one of the best that I have read in a long time. Just the right mix of drama and sex. Keep writing and I will keep reading.

Fucking beautiful. I do not have any other words for it. This turned into something I wrote because I needed something out of my system to reading it hidden from my very homosexual roommate just because I wanted to see this end. That was beautiful.

What an amazing story. This truly is one of the most beautiful and amazing story i have ever read. Even tho the emding almost had me tearing up it was just perfect! Thanks,1

I like how the whole story played out. Great ending.

please keep writing

I was a bit sad about how it ended, but the rest was absolutely amazing. And the whole thing was very well written.

I'm a bit mixed on this one. It was really well written and enjoyable to read, but mad was it fucking sad. I hate sad.

But my personal issues aside it was a good story. Well done.

Gonna friggin cry...

Oh Tawnee, you were really cute... Love you..

The story just petered out at the end, with many better options (long distance relationship, comparing other men to Will/other women to Tawnee, more reunions and breakups, etc.).

Despite that I gave you five stars because you are a gifted writer with good character development, excellent buildup, and a real ear for dialog. You didn't have them boning in the first half page like so many writers do, which removes the suspense and any reason to read farther. Very well written tale.

I wanted an erotic incest story not to feel like shit for the day. Make more. Like 2 or so years later. Dial down the tragedy. Plz.

As far as I'm concerned, this was excellent. It had character development, which is certainly not true about much of the stuff on Literotica, and a real story arc. Sometimes things end sadly, or bittersweet. There aren't too many stories in real life that end in perpetual orgasm. I like happy endings, but even chocolate cake for breakfast get's tiresome.

Good work.

That has to be the best story I've read on here EVER, in ANY category. THIS IS Erotica. Its not porn. Its a fantastic piece of work. Well done!

You tricked me into reading a story with a plot about characters with depth. Bravo i guess. But now it's 2am.

I love this tale! The life lessons Tawnee learned from her brother and the sexual experience she gave will made this story so much more than what I usually read on this site about incest retaliations. This was a true love tale and while I teared up at the end it was the only outcome I could see, love like this is to hard to maintain. Even so I would love a sequel, I need more of Tawnee and William!

I liked it a lot. I too would like to see what happens after Will graduates. The only thing I'd change would be to call their parents mom and dad instead of by their first mane. I actually put off reading this because it was so long, but I'm glad I returned to it and read it.

Bravo

I have only left comments annonymously on here a few times when something really stands out, turns me on and envelopes me. Well well done. It's sensual and sweet, has it's drama and it's heartaches. It is a very believable story without but a few miss types. I believe it's honestly what usually happens with incecst once reality sets in and things do have to come to an end with the taboo situation and the set up of the family. Brothers and sisters don't usually have a chance to move to a different country or have deceased parents like a lot of the stories on this site seem to drift towards. It's not practical when incest does take place. None the less, I loved how possible this story is to actually take place and I was wound up in it. It's nice to read an actual story with love instead of quick get you off lines of dirty talk and crazy sexual exploration. Thank you again!

This is my 2nd time reading this story (quite long time apart), but I now remember why I loved it to begin with. This story is set apart from most because of the fact that it's realistic. Just seeing the end of the last page coming up makes me feel depressed, and the way it ended also makes me depressed, but that's life and it's what makes the story believable. I still cant believe how attached I get in 14 pages, but even if it was longer I don't think much more can be added to this story. All I can really say is I hope there will be more in the future, perhaps even longer ones with a similar theme.

A truely excellent read. I had a hard time putting my phone down. I recommend reading it. The characters are well defined and the story, even without the mindblowing sex, is captivating and interesting.

This story could perfectly be an idea for a movie. The feelings described with such details makes it absolutely real and believable, and the characters are so sweet about their thoughts that makes them almost innocent, even though their love is morally and socially unacceptable. I hope this story could have a second part, because a love like this can't just disappear from overnight.

Absolutely loved reading this - the dialogue was so good. Everything about this felt real; The character development, setting, emotions were genuine. Nothing felt rushed or had me rolling my eyes in disbelief.

For me, the sign of a good story is one that you can't put down or stop reading - and that was the case for me here. From a technical standpoint, this was well-written, tight and paced well. None of the annoying grammatical errors or choppy writing that marks so many other pieces on this site.

More importantly, it was a _good_ story. While short, unrealistic romps can sometimes be fun, I appreciated that the author actually took time to develop his characters and have a natural progression of things. They weren't perfect: he wasn't a Brad Pitt with a 10 inch cock, and she wasn't a super-model in waiting. Their ups and downs were something we could all relate to. I was actually interested in the two of them outside of the bedroom, and I was drawn into their developing relationship.

As far as the ending goes, I'm torn. I appreciate that the author kept things practical and realistic. I realize this sort of ending makes way more sense then most that we see in Incest stories. That being said, I "hated" seeing the two of them go their separate ways. If Tawnee really was Will's one true love, I don't see how he would be so willing to move on - and I think Tawnee would have had a much harder time pushing him into the arms of another woman. I do hope the author writes a second part to this story as well!

Wow, that was a really good story! A very realistic ending as well, though I think I would have managed to ditch my girlfriend for the occasional weekend to visit my sister, hehehe, though I bet his gf was watching like a hawk to make sure she went with him every time, lol!

Although, if she were my one true love I would have just packed my shit and moved up there with her to begin with. That would have made the most sense to me, new start, nee place with no family or friends to know what was going on with us!

Thanks for writing a great story and sharing it with us!

This is quite simply the most *authentic* brother-sister story I've ever read.

No matter how good of a writer you are, if in the end the main characters don't end up together, the story will be shit!! just see the votes, it could have easily been around 4.7-4.8 +

I agree with one of the other posts. crappy ending. should've wound up with them being together for the rest of their lives. even having a coupla babies together.

I didn't read this story even though Tzymartar is one of my favourite authors. Why didn't I read it? Because I read the comments about the ending of the story and then I looked at the last page.

Life can be sad enough without reading stories that don't have happy endings. I read sibling incest stories on the Lit site because I like the love against all odds type stories and I want them to have a happy ending.

This story didn't have a happy ending although it seems that it had all the ingredients for one.

I really can't disagree more with the critics of the story's ending - bittersweet with a door open to future trysts. From start to ending you did a really good job at keeping things down to earth and realistic.

Well done!

All the characters' emotional beats felt honest and earned, very believable. So did the bittersweet ending, which I felt was an appropriate closure. I thought the end reflected how actual adults can develop strength enough to grow, to make sacrifices and hard choices for those they love.

There are stories that got you mad and twisted for having a bittersweet ending, usually when couples didn't end up together, but this is not it. I don't know why people were shocked that they didn't end up together, it's kinda predictable, I would have been shocked if otherwise. It's hard to find a way around it, this is very realistic.. Usually, I got frustrated with this kind of thing but the author got the right elements that made it possible to accept the finale w/o feeling denied, wrecked, and cheated. If you read a lot of books, similar to this or not, then you would understand it. The point of the story is truly about taming Tawnee.

I enjoyed the read very much. Not to keen on how it ended though, maybe abother chapter where they realise they can't do without each other and end up together making babies.

I demand satisfaction. This story was too perfect to end like that. You can't split up Will and Tawnee, not after the fucking emotional odyssey you put them through. Fuck you. Fuck this story for being 5 stars and fuck Mony and fuck Springfield. I demand satisfaction.

WHATS THE POINT OF INCEST IF YOU ARE GOING TO END IT LIKE THAT. IT SUCKS. BEEN THERE AND REGRETTED IT EVER SINCE. GET IT RIGHT.

Why would you end such promising love story like this.. It would have been acceptable if William got back with Amanda if he didn't end up with his sister instead of bringing in another character out of nowhere.. Why would you do that?? 2 star.. It could have been easily 5 star

One of those writers who can write such good story and then ruin it in the end.. I have noticed this author did this to the other stories of him/her

The idiots giving 5 star to this, tell me how is the ending deserved fucking 5 star. Ruined it with spring shit and mony shit.

To all those outraged by the story’s ending: you all are living in fantasy land. In reality, this is the only way it could end.

This is the writer's story so they can end it however they please. As for the ending, if you want one with a happy ending go read the plenty other stories on the website. This ending suits the story and you can't say it's bad because of the end. That's just your opinion, not a fact so respect all the hardwork that was put into this.

The beast romance story ever. I liked the character development and how they connected each other and couldn’t have come to a perfect end only she should have found someone for her too. Someone who would appreciate her as William did

You know, this is one of the best stories I have read on this site, for the simple reason thatbit kept the story in the forefront. I understand the complaints others have, but the characters do get their happily ever after, there is closure, there are if any, very few loose threads. The plot, the characters, even the ending, it was all spot on and my only regretbis that now all the other stories have an even higher bar to reach.

Please write a part 2. This story is so awesome!!!!

Great story. Would love to see some sort of continuation.

More please

Wow, that is the best story that I have read here. I was brought to tears a few times.

It has been a while since I've had this happen while reading anything.

Thank you.

It was amazing and all untill.....yuck, did u really have to do that. Ever heard of pole to stray, thats me now

why...just dont like it.would have loved it if it were a incest romance. bring them on.

Depressing end. I just want them to end up together, instead the story fizzled out. Needs a second chapter showing them happy together, living in Springfield or somewhere else where nobody knows they are brother and sister.

The ending just killed it for me: :( ... And why the hell would he bring his gf with him when he went to visit his sister?!? You just get in the habit of visiting your sister, for the whole weekend, once a month! Stay at her place, she knows not to make plans that weekend, and smartly never lets some guy move in with her! You get to have your cake and eat it too, at least until you both get married, then it gets a bit more tricky. Weekend camping trips! Afternoons out but having to find hotels that are low rent enough that you don't have to put a credit card up for deposit, hehe. ... Or just say, FUCK IT!! And move in together in that distant town and let the family think whatever they want!

On her job interviews... Turned down two other interviews?!? Her parents are white collar, aren't they? Wtf are they doing, trying to help her fail? You don't turn down interviews, you go to them, if they aren't interested then fine, if they are, you tell them you have a few more interviews scheduled and give them some general dates and tell them you will keep them updated! If they're really interested in you then they will wait. Most Corporate positions take a good while before they fill or backfill, hell I've seen some go over half a year, easy. Unless they are trying to FasTrack it.

* It was sort of like taking an ice-pick to the liver. Even if you saw it coming, someone told you that it was going to happen, it didn't make it any less painful. *

ROFL! Now there's one I've never heard before! Lol!

* If she had her way, she'd stay with Will and be his sex slave, but that just wasn't in the cards. *

Oh man! Now that's my kind of sister, hehe! ... But yes it's in the cards!! Get a close job!! Hell, work the system, girl!!! ;)

* Somehow it just so happened that one of the things that she had for the moment was something that she just couldn't hold onto forever, and it was one of the most delightful things that she could imagine. What a bummer. *

Sure you can! Just live together, have Will get himself fixed (shipped), let people think whatever they want about you both, deny any creepy accusations (while smiling inside) and live happily ever after. Hell, maybe even adopt kids if you want, just make sure you two have rooms on the other side of the house and for the entry into the Hall that goes to your two rooms, install a door where there would normally just be an open entry way. Put a fingerprint lock on it with the type of latch that automatically locks when the door closes and q spring arm that pulls the door closed automatically!

The reason is to keep the kids out of your rooms and keep, keep them from using the adults bathroom, keep their friends from nosing around when they visit, and for a clincher, because you both keep firearms in your rooms and this is easier security than locking them up and not being able to get to them quickly if you need them, but keeping the kids from being able to touch them!

Now you can raise the kids and still sleep together every night!! Yay!!

Great story till the very end. Felt very let down. It felt like you were over it and just gave up on the storyline. You did so good getting me invested and then it was like seeing Amanda. With Doug-a knife in the back. Would love to see you do a revised with a happy ending.

I enjoyed the story line as the characters had build up. But ending was extremely dissapointing. Seems they spent so much time coming to develop their relationship and you killed it off at end with what seems like an easy out. Maybe consider posting with an alternate ending

Well written, ending was a bummer. I know that this story took a more realistic path than most, but i think the reason so many people complain is because we read these stories to escape the cold sober reality of the world. Especially the people who take the time to read the longer stories and not just the short word porn, we're usually going to be hoping for a happily ever after, because maybe we don't get them in real life. Still a 5 star writer and a 5 star story, but like someone else said I'd love an alternate ending.

Sigh...it was long and there wasn't things like third party orgies or s*hit like that but I hoped for a happy ending same though as 'gametime279'

I love a happy end having been cheated of my own in a similar relationship back in the past

I saw the trajectory of this tale on page 11 and skipped to the end to confirm it. Sadly l was right.

No need to read on,

Scores 2/5, disappointing plot.

I liked this story a lot, but I agree that the ending could have been better. It felt like you ran out of things to say and just quit. I would love to read a version with an alternate ending.

Well, you write the story you wanted to write. I respect that. So I'm gonna' give it the 2/5 score I want to give.

In real life, love can (and often does) burn hot and then fizzle out like a wet fart. It sucks. That's why we invented fiction.

I wish I'd skipped to the end to once you started hinting at the way it was going to pan out, but I figured that you wouldn't want to spend fourteen pages writing a wet fart. Fool that I was.

Now, here I sit, having wasted almost two hours on this story, glad only for the small mercy that this was the first of your stories I've read and that I won't have to waste anymore time on this wet fart fiction of yours.

No Taming Tawnie....she was still a bitch right to the very end!! The brother was too good for the bi-polar bitch....she deserves the likes of Amanda

Crap ending that deserves ONE STAR

14 pages of shitty drama for a shit end

If I wanted a miserable ending, that’s what real life is for. Fiction is supposed to be for us romantics to escape from all that crap. I kept hoping that somehow Will and Tawnee would be able to pull it off, that love would triumph in the end. Silly me. I wish I could give negative stars. Instead, I’m forced to give one at least one.

Let me begin with stating for the record that my vote was 4/5.

That being said, I agree with the previous comment that real life is miserable and most of us come here to escape from that misery.

You wrote yourself another way out and I'm sure that you didn't even realize it. You have stated before that you start writing with your ending already in mind before you put the first word down. I can easily infer from what you have said in response to comments on your stories that you write with blinders on staying totally focused on your objective come hell or high water. But I'm going to throw out a happier ending for you anyway.

You made Symphony an only child. She said so in a lunchtime conversation with Tawnee. Children who never had brothers or sisters growing up are more likely to have a favorable opinion on brother/sister incest than someone who actually experienced having siblings. Tawnee harbored some small amount of jealousy towards Symphony because she was besotted with William, but Tawnee's end goal was still to get them together.

You could have written a happier ending where Symphony starts picking up clues from watching the siblings interact and figures out their real relationship. She pulls Tawnee aside for a private conversation, assuring her first that the secret is safe but the truth needs to be shared with her to avoid issues with William in the future. After Tawnee comes clean with Symphony, Symphony assures her that she and William will still be able to be intimate for special occasions because she wants Tawnee to be the sister that she never had. William and Symphony eventually marry and have their nerd babies from Tawnee's imagination. Tawnee visits them one Christmas and Symphony kisses her on the cheek saying that Tawnee should sleep with William that night instead of herself.

That's where you should have ended the story.