Tantric Threesome, Opening Chakras

(X-rated) September 2, 2015:

Andrew picked me up on the motorcycle and it was perfect timing because a cop pulled over and asked why I wasn't wearing a shirt. I told him because it was hot outside.

He says, "I know, but girls need to wear shirts."

I laughed and said, "I have nipples just like a guy."

"I didn't make the rules," he said.

Anyways, when we got back to his place, Michael wasn't there yet, so I went to watch the waves. I noticed I was feeling tense. I was judging myself because I wanted to feel loved. Something just felt off. A couple hours later, Michael asked if he could do bodywork on me and I said yes.

So, Jimmy drove us and I was laying naked in the backseat, feeling the wind. I remembered that I was fearless, that all there is is love and all the illusioned and fearful thoughts were not mine. Just like that, all of those delusional fears just dissipated.

The second I walked into Jimmy's house, I felt an immediate zen energy. It felt like home. I got a massage, and then I even got a boob massage! I even got a 12 chakra alignment! I AM SO THANKFUL!

I saw David laying naturally on the bed, so I went to join him. The way he nurtured me was unforgettable. I began laughing at nothing because it simply felt good. I was asking him question after question about the universe and it was so nice to see and feel how he was smiling and laughing with me. He wasn't telling me to shut up, but was rather listening. He told me he could feel how much I loved myself and how much I loved life by the way I laughed. He loved how I laughed at my own jokes.

I kept rolling around on his body, touching him, laughing. He kept telling me how beautiful I was. It was making my heart melt. At last, he would shut me up by kissing me. He went on top of me and we began to make love. It has been second nature just to be mindful.

Jimmy was in the kitchen doing dishes and making popcorn. I was letting out my natural moans and sighs into his ears. He would give me a few of those really deep thrusts and my eyes would roll back. Jimmy caught on to what we were doing and made a comment saying we were making him excited. He was caught off guard, but happily surprised.

He got some coconut oil, got behind Michael and began thrusting into him, joining us. It was all very playful. I saw Michael's face transform, receiving an experience of pure bliss. The way they held me, kissed me, caressed me made me so open to receive the abundance of love they were giving. For the first time I realized what it was like to make love and feel oneness, to feel balanced in my body, mind and Spirit, to feel all of my chakras fully aligned. All these years I was not putting my full, authentic loving self into sex and because of that I was missing the most extraordinary part of the experience. I will never forget the innocence of it. It was as if we were children exploring, laughing and playing. He loved me and every hair on my body. It was by far the sexiest aspect of a guy when he showed me he could be vulnerable and love fully and open heartedly.

Smiling, Michael's eyes rolled back as he came. At one point, Jimmy and I began to kiss. We all stopped what we were doing and Jimmy shared how what we were doing and what we just did changed the whole world. They both talked about how healing it was worldwide and that people would feel the paradigm shift we just opened. Jimmy even shared how he hadn't kissed a girl in 30 years. So, this was all very eye-opening.

At the end, we all were just lying there underneath the Christmas lights. We began to give kudos to Jimmy about dimming the lights to a romantic setting when we began to make love.

Michael joked, "I honestly thought you were going to get some candles and incense."

Jimmy replied, "I actually was, but I was over there doing the dishes and you guys began lovemaking and I'm getting a hard on and wanted to join the fun!"

It was beautiful. Before we began making love, Jimmy made this homemade air popcorn with coconut oil, a little bit of butter and salt and IT WAS THE BEST POPCORN EVER!

So anyways, Michael makes his way over to me and I loved how childlike he was. He wrapped himself around me as though I was his mother. He observed me, truly loving me and every hair on my body. We began to kiss again, to make love again. Jimmy's watching with so much appreciation in his eyes and tells us how beautiful we are. Michael always had a sweet smile on his face. Then, Jimmy begins to enter him from behind.

Michael's eyes widen as he shouts, "Jimmy! What are you doing Jimmy?!"

We all start laughing! It was truly a breathtaking experience. I felt like I was getting penetrated by two people and felt up by four hands.

Jimmy yelled, "I'm gonna bust! I'm gonna bust!"

Michael retorts, "Not on me, Jimmy!"

We hear Jimmy orgasm.

Michael's voice dimmed down as he asked, "Did you bust on me, Jimmy?"

Jimmy puts his head down in shame.

"I did bust on you, Michael," he says.

I started exploding with laughter as I sighed, "Ahhh, I love you guys so much."

Later that night, I decided to chill with Dean. Him and his friend Eric were drunk and high on some painkillers. Dean was opening up to me a lot. He was a heroin addict and felt lost. He felt like a shitty person because of society's judgments. It grinds my gears how society has such a powerful effect instilling fear in people, making people not feel good enough about themselves, which should in turn be the opposite. He felt he was going against his natural instincts being attracted to other people other than Katie.

He called me "baby" on accident and began to apologize, profusely saying, "No, I didn't mean that! Katie is my baby. I love her and only want to be with her."

I could tell he was being pulled in his mind. He played with my hair and commented saying he wasn't flirting with me. Then he asked for a back massage, also claiming it to be innocent.

He would say how he wanted to have sex with me and was attracted to me, but then repetitively throughout the night would say, "I am not going to fuck you, Goda, because I love Katie. I only want to be with Katie."

Next moment he would dry hump the shit of me just to be funny and would say, "It's only extreme cuddling."

He kept talking about how badly he wanted to touch my boobs, but couldn't because he was about to be a husband. At first, he would just hover his hand over them and it would progress from there--a very small boob slap to make it jiggle, then a little pinch, then he poked my nipple and then he would need reassurance.

He would ask, "Do you think Katie would be upset that I touched your boob?"

Then he kissed my cheek a few times, but in a "not flirting way."

He would constantly scream, "I AM NOT GOING TO FUCK YOU, GODA. STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME HAVE SEX WITH YOU!"

I was doing absolutely nothing. I was lying on my stomach, trying to read a book most of the time.

Anyways, by the end of the night we had sex about five times. It started with him massaging me, going all the way down to my butt.

"Promise you won't tell Katie?" he would ask.

After we had sex, he would say, "It was awesome, but I'm never doing it again. It's a one time thing!"

His back and forth attitude left me in tears from laughing so much.

We hitchhiked back to my place and I got my backpack for the airplane and we tried to hitch a ride back to Pahoa. We were at four corners from midnight to 6am. We had sex a lot during that time. Everytime a car would drive past, we would be scurrying to put our clothes back on. Falling asleep for Dean was a pain in the ass. I, on the other hand, loved every moment of laying on the asphalt, even when it started pouring rain in the morning. I laughed watching Brandon's misery because I couldn't understand how he was not enjoying the experience. I didn't know, I found it difficult to even drift off into negative thoughts.