Taylor Ch. 19 - Decisions

DECISIONS

Taylor's real life story has not ended. He is not yet dead.

The conflict rages within his mind as he tries to satisfy the cravings of nature and the needs of the body.

He knows in his mind he must make a decision. If he wants to continue as a female then he must submit to the hormones and doctors that will help him along that path. He has resisted that temptation for years and he cannot explain to himself why he has done so.

He also knows that the life as a male with Barbara and even Betty is comfortable, secure, and provides the things his life needs today. He has feelings for Barbara; he likes her company and enjoys the sex very much. Is he telling himself he is a man?

His future depends on his finishing his education and finding real work. He looks at the way he has earned his living in the past. Basically hustling on the streets for sex money. The future for that kind of work is dim. The money is not great, the danger is constant and just to put a period on it, and it's illegal.

There is nothing to recommend being a woman for him. The medical cost, the pain, the work, none of it. But it is something he has always wanted. Does he really want a vagina? Tits?

He is a gay man, so how does he figure that into the conversation? Wait, he makes love to women, how does a gay man do that?

Does he want a gay lover? He has had gay partners but never someone he wanted to love or make a life with.

How does he go about making this decision? Should he talk to someone? Should he seek the counsel of a shrink? Should he talk to Barbara about it? She seems to like him as a person as well as a lover. Maybe she will advise him?

He decides to have a serious conversation with Barbara about his future. He also decides to go out to some gay clubs and see if he is fit to be a gay partner to someone. He has always been attracted to young gay men, but never felt love or real affection toward them. Gay men seem to have trouble settling down with a partner. Or at least that's his experience. And he will go talk to the doctor about transition. Time to figure out life.

He went to talk to Barbara and she was empathetic. After all she had gone from straight to lesbianism during her life. She enjoys being a lesbian, but as we know she craves a cock now and then. Or more often if she can have it.

"Right now, at this moment for the next hour you can be anyone you want to be. Who would that be?" Said Barbara.

"At this moment, today sitting with you I want to be your lover and friend." Taylor replied.

"When do you want to be a female? She asked.

"Hmmmm, that's a need driven thing. I need to be female to work."

"So you don't get into female persona for pleasure, you do it for work?"

"I guess so. I do enjoy being the object of men's desires. Working and seeing how they want to be with me."

"But that's not real affection, is it?"

"No, it's not. So what does that mean? Maybe I don't really want to be a woman?"

"I think that's a good possibility." Barbara said.

"Okay, you have me on lockdown for working the streets, so other than satisfying your needs to go out with me dressed I don't really need to dress out as a woman."

"I think that's accurate and for the time being I will not ask you to do that. Let's see if you develop that desire again without my demands."

"Okay, sounds like a plan."

"Now about you hunting for a gay partner." Barbara said.

"I think that's a reasonable idea." Taylor said.

"I do too if we use it as a way to make this life long decision."

"Now, do you want to see my gynecologist?"

"Not yet, let's see how the abstinence from dressing out works."

"We have a plan. Would you like to go to dinner with me?

"Something informal, the diner around the corner for eggs and waffles." Taylor answered.

"Okay, lets do it."

The diner was packed and they got a two top in the back corner, ordered coffee and waffles then sat relaxing with each other.

The coffee came first and they both lifted their mugs and smiled as they took the first sip.

"I like being like this with you." Taylor said.

"Me too, no tension. Sexual or otherwise."

"Barbara, am I good company?"

"Yes you are. I always look forward to being with you. Everywhere too, not just in bed."

"I feel the same way. I guess we could call this a relationship of sorts."

Laughing lightly Barbara says, "I think we do and for my part I want it to continue and get better."

"How often do you get together with Betty?" Taylor asked.

"Not often, maybe once a month. She drives that, I don't. I could live without Betty's attentions if I could have yours anytime I wanted."

"Consider that a promise then, anytime you want."

"How about you?" Barbara said. "Do you desire to be with me sometimes? It seems I drive the conversation and sex."

"That's funny. I always wait for you to instigate the sex because I consider you the boss, if you will."

"Would you make love to me if I didn't ask you to?"

"I would, I always want you to ask me though."

"Why?"

"Because I consider you a benefactor, someone to whom I owe my allegiance and love."

"So if I never came to you for sex, then you would not come to me?"

"That's the way I have it in my head Barbara. That may not be right, but it's a product of our arrangement and the way it has worked before."

"If I release you from the arrangement, continue to employ you, and let you drive the sex, would you be happy?"

"I am not sure. I like you coming to me for the sex. I look forward to it. The last time was very nice for me. It's always nice, really. I don't want you to stop doing it if it satisfies you."

"Will you come to me when you feel the need for sex?" Barbara asked.

"Do you want me to come to you first?" Taylor asked.

"I don't want to put that on you. I want you to be able to go to anyone you want. I would like to be your choice, but I understand. You may want some cock to now and then."

"That sounds right, same for you and Betty I guess."

"This is nice, talking to you this way. Friend and mentor, partner and lover."

"I am enjoying it too Taylor. I like your company."

"Want to spend the night?" Taylor asked as he smiled.

"I do." She said as he picked up the check and they headed for the door.

They walked slowly back to the house holding hands and not talking. The evening was beautiful and the moon bright.

When they arrived back at the garage and went upstairs they found Betty sitting in the living room waiting for them.

"What have you two been up to?" She said.

Barbara answered, "We went to eat at the diner."

"I saw you two cozying up as you came up the driveway."

"We are having a nice evening." Barbara answered.

"I have an announcement to make." Betty said.

"What pray tell is that?"

"I am getting married again."

"That's great, I am happy for you." Barbara said and Taylor chimed in too.

"Thank you. There is bad news to go with it."

"You are going to sell the house?" Taylor said.

"How did you know?" Betty queried.

"Figures. It's the way life goes." Taylor answered.

"Do you have a buyer?" Barbara asked.

"Sort of. The Richmond historical society is interested."

"Well that leaves me out of the running, they have more money than the State treasury." Barbara tendered.

"They may let you continue to rent." Betty said.

"Sure, that's income until they decide to renovate the place for historical reasons."

"It will take the pressure off you to find a new home."

"I just found this one and leaving will not make me happy."

"We will manage." Taylor said.

Barbara looked at him and said, "We?"

"If you want me to help, I will." He said.

"Okay partner." She said.

Betty stood and said good night, walked to the door and said, "See you later."

"I need a drink." Barbara said.

Taylor went to the kitchen and opened a bottle of dark red Merlot. Poured two glasses and brought one back to Barbara.

"Well that's a kick in the ass."

"It's just uncomfortable, not life threatening." Taylor said.

They sat on the couch and sipped the wine.

There was much to say but neither one of them seemed willing to start the conversation.

Taylor put down his wine and leaned over to Barbara and kissed her neck.

She smiled and leaned forward to put her wine on the coffee table too and turned to look at Taylor.

Their lips met gently and parted to allow tongues to meet and taste one another.

"I want you Barbara. I want to make love to you."

"Yes." She said.

The kiss deepened and their two bodies came together and each felt the passion of the other.

"Take me to bed baby." Barbara said.

Taylor stood, picked up both wine glasses and said, "Follow me."

"Strip for me, while I watch." Taylor said as he held the wine and sipped his.

Barbara smiled and took a sip of her wine and handed the glass back to Taylor.

Slowly she unbuttoned the blouse she was wearing and eased her arms out. She folded up the blouse and set it on the dresser. Leaving her bra in place she unzipped the side of her skirt and slowly pushed it down over her beautiful wide hips. Stepping out of her shoes and letting the skirt pool around her feet she bent over and picked them up. Folding the skirt she placed it on the dresser with the blouse and put the shoes on top.

"You are so beautiful baby. I love to look at your body."

She moved back over to Taylor and took another sip of her wine.

"The wine is really good." She said.

Leaning over to her, Taylor moved his lips to hers and captured the offered tongue.

Barbara, with her hands free reached behind her and unhooked her bra, letting it drop down her arms and fall on the floor between them.

Taylor bent down and took one nipple in his mouth and licked it with his wine soaked tongue.

She shivered at the contact and moaned to let him know she liked it.

Standing up he handed her the wine glasses and reached for her panty waistband and began to push them over her beautiful hips.

Bending to the floor, he pushed the panties down until they pooled on the floor and she stepped out.

Picking up the bra and panties Taylor put them on the dresser with the other clothes.

He returned to her nipples and she stood there holding the wine.

He took another sip of the red fluid and held it in his mouth as he slipped his lips back over the nipple. The wine attacked the distended nipple and she gasped again.

"Oh that's good." She cooed.

She still held the glasses and he moved down her belly and pushed his tongue into her navel and she shivered again. Gripping her buttocks he moved lower and put his nose into the soft mound of pubic hair and reached out with his tongue to find her clitoris.

"Baby, I can't stand here holding these glasses while you do that."

"Spread your legs and let me in."

"Oh god, what are you going to do?"

He reached in with his fingers and felt the dampness rapidly going wet in her valley. He slowly drew his fingers along the seam and brought the fingers to his tongue.

"Baby, please."

He stood and leaned over to kiss her gently.

He took the glasses from her and said, "Undress me."

She unhooked his belt and slipped his trousers down over his slim hips. She unbuttoned his dress shirt and held the glasses while he took it off.

He took the glasses back and she moved to his boxers and felt the hardness of his manhood from the outside.

"Oh, that feels so good."

"Take it out and suck it."

Slowly she reached for the waistband and pulled his boxers down. His now raging erection sprang forth and pointed right at her face.

He stepped out of the shorts and said, "Have a drink of the wine."

She looked up and he held the glass while she sipped.

"Put it on my dick." Taylor said.

She held the wine in her mouth and slipped her lips over the throbbing head and allowed the wine to swirl around it.

He inhaled sharply as the alcohol attacked his cock.

She slipped him back into her throat and hummed as she enjoyed the feeling of him so close to her. Her nose in his pubic hair, her tongue swirling around his cock, his head deep in her throat.

"Oh baby, that's so good." He moaned.

She sucked him for several minutes and then withdrew and stood facing him. She parted his arms and slid between them to push her breasts against his belly. The contact of his skin with her nipples felt sensuous and she moved her breasts side to side to stimulate them some more.

Reaching around him she hugged him tight, reached up to his neck with her lips and kissed under his ear lobe. He shivered again.

"I want you inside me lover."

He reached to the bedside table and put the glasses down. Pulled the comforter and sheets back and eased her onto the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and he lifted her legs exposing here waiting core, wet and dripping, waiting and wanting him to enter.

"Please don't tease me baby, fuck me, fuck me now."

He continued to tease her with his cock. Pushing it slowly into the tunnel, parting her labia and then pulling back. He pushed her knees up fully and leaned in with his hips to make the entry slowly.

She was unable to move, she had no purchase. Her knees were high and he had control of them. He pushed them farther up and she swallowed him completely. Pubic hair to pubic hair. Cock head to cervix. Completely joined.

He had no sooner hit the bottom and she quivered and had her first orgasm.

Taylor didn't fight the urge to plunge and plunge again. Her orgasm honey filled the tunnel and made movement slick and easy. He doubled his rate of penetration and began to pound her hard and long.

"Yes, yes baby, fuck me fuck me hard."

He accommodated her as best he could until she had a second orgasm and he pulled himself out.

Gripping her hips he turned her over and reaching under her core he lifted her until he could re-enter her from behind. This was deeper and more satisfying for her. Holding onto those creamy hips Taylor hammered his engorged cock into her and back out of her.

He looked down at his work and spied the winking eye just above where his cock was entering her.

With some saliva on his thumb he slowly inserted it into her puckered opening.

"Oh god, baby, that is so hot. More."

He began to slide his thumb in deeper and pulling it back out. Each time moving in to part the sphincter all over again. Parting the way made her crazy. She shivered and came again. He pulled his thumb out and inserted two fingers doing the same in and out, parting the entrance each time.

"Baby, do it, fuck me in the ass."

He pulled both his cock and his fingers out of her and bent down to lick her dripping pussy and hot asshole. Sliding his tongue through both sent her off again. He re-doubled his efforts and buried his face in her swollen core.

His tongue went in and out of her vagina and she rewarded him with more of her honey. He lapped it up, reaching deeper into her pussy for more of the delicious nectar.

Spreading it over her anal opening he continued to lick and suck until everything including his face were dripping with her sweet cum.

Standing again he slipped his cock back into her pussy and coated it with the slippery stuff.

Pushing her ass up, he moved his cock to the crevice that held her now open and wet button.

Taylor pressed his swollen head up against her tight sphincter entry and pushed. The way parted and he slammed all the way to the bottom.

Firmly seated in her ass, he stopped to enjoy the feeling. He could feel her squeeze him with her asshole, he could smell the hot sex they were having and he felt like he was in control. It made him smile and wonder about his orientation. What a place for that thought to enter his head.

Pushing the thought aside he concentrated on the ass he was in. He loved to look down at the wide expanse of creamy smooth buttocks. Her hips made his mouth water every time he looked at them. Seeing them with his cock buried made him even harder than he could imagine. He started stroking and quickly fount the rhythm that pleasured them both. She was moaning and pushing back at him as he pulled back and pressed into her.

"I am going to cum baby."

"Put it in my ass, breed me baby." She replied.

Several strokes later he pulled out of her pussy and entered the realm of her joy. He slammed to the bottom and felt his groin pushing against her butt. Pulling her hips to him he felt his scrotum swell and begin to release semen into her. Spurt after spurt, spasm after spasm. She cooed as she felt him release.

"Oh baby, that is so wonderful."

"Yes it is." He said as he panted and felt his knees weaken and try to buckle.

"Don't leave me." She said.

He pushed in a little harder as his cock tried to recede.

"It feels so good to have you inside me, I don't want you to leave."

He was silent as he tried to stand and push at the same time.

Finally his knees collapsed on him and he fell to the floor.

"Baby, where did you go?" She said.

"I fell to the floor." He replied.

She got up and looked at him on the floor. Offering her hand she helped him to his feet and the two of them hugged and fell into the bed.

"I love you Taylor. I want to be with you forever."

"Oh baby, I love you too." Taylor replied.