by StoryTeller07
Maybe Hollie and her new Master may find a way to use her to her full talents and not just humiliation.
DAMSEL Approved
Is there an endgame plan? I thought the first several chapters were great, and I commend the author for trying to continue the series, but maybe it is time to let them all live happily ever after, instead of one by one knocking them off.
Good job. Didn't see the three masters being offed, but I like that you've removed characters from the mix and will be able to focus on the development of those left behind. 4 women have been isolated from their safety nets and that spells trouble both for them and for the story. I get the feeling that you're falling back into the routine that started all of this; now you have two untrained, immature guys instead of just one. That doesn't bode well for the believability of the story.
I like that Hollie has so completely accepted her role in life. But I don't want to see her become the plaything of some schoolkids. That's been played out a thousand times and it's rather boring.
The ambassador's wife is an interesting character and I like seeing her slowly evolve into a full-on slave. She should get some nipple rings, with a really descriptive scene that details her feelings. She feels like it's cemented her slave-state, made real what was once fantasy.
The key, though, is maintaining enough reality that suspension of disbelief still works. You're on the edge of that cliff, but if you can keep everything low-key, you can continue to train slaves. Orgies with schoolkids, though, or Hollie's continued prancing around dressed as a kid.... well......
There is a plan to save Hollie and bring it all together, so don't worry. The problem is keeping the tension going, when the first chapter was a one off. The story escalates and spins out of control. Real life mostly settles down to a routine and boredom, so stories - novels, TV soaps, etc. - tend to compress life's worst events into an episode. Anyway, back to Hollie: it seems some wish to read about a near reality story about slavery, without distractions of the outside world. Maybe that will happen in the next chapters.
so glad another chapter of Hailey's life has come out. She's had so many different types of masters and when she finally finds the one that's probably the One he dies and leaves her with his nephew hmmmmm what kind of master will he be maybe he won't be all bad. anyway i loved this chapter and what's going on with the pony girls and rachel and what about his dad. alot going on there and can't wait for more please don't let it be so long this time :-)
Pony girls? Holy shit. Please tell me this is meant to be a parody of pet play. It's so fucking out there that it nearly made me wet myself from laughter.