Teed Off Ch. 02

My playing partner for today was, Peter Fowler, who was having a good year on the European Senior tour. They announced me at the first tee, and the crowd roared. I wasn't really sure why. It may have been the video clip from yesterday when I quoted Caddyshack. It could have been because we were the next to the last group. For whatever reason, I was unaccustomed to it, but grateful, waving to the crowd through the monsoon. I prepared to tee off following the routine from the last three days.

Focus. I closed my eyes. Process. Feet. Grip. Just like chopping wood. Again, I imagined impacting the log with the maul and splitting it. I opened my eyes and once again, saw Maggie and Janet and imagined them out in front of the tee box tearing those shirts off.

I started laughing. I couldn't help it. I was laughing was so hard, that I had to step away from the ball. I actually used my club to steady myself. Neil asked me if I was ok, but I couldn't control it. The surreality of the whole situation, plus that image 4 days in a row had gotten to me. I think the crowd all thought I was losing it. I'm sure they thought the pressure must be getting to me.

So I tried again, this time only allowing a big-ass smile to come to my face. I took the swing, and again... I killed it.

After 9-holes the 4 of us in the last two pairings had pulled away from the field. Well, more accurately the field had fallen away. We were all still around par, with only Peter falling back a couple of strokes. I had my ups and downs, with a few narrow escapes and a few lost birdies. The rest of the field was having an even more difficult day. During the round, we would pull power bars and water from the bag. The plan was to eat that all day and not accept any food or drink prepared for us during the day. When it was time to make the turn and start the back nine, someone offered us both a couple of sandwiches, which we politely declined. When they tried again, an official stepped in to have a talk with them. As we approached the 10th tee we could hear a commotion behind us, likely from the official and that vendor.

As we headed down the back nine, the group behind us, Freddy and Bernhard, were matching me shot for shot. If I made a birdie, the crowd would roar. Then a few minutes later when they would play the hole I just finished, I would hear the crowd and see them matching me on the leaderboard.

As we approached 14, the par 5, I had been unable to make up any ground on Bernhard. He remained one stroke in front of me. After playing the best golf of my life in the most miserable of conditions, I still couldn't catch the guy. It was frustrating, but I tried not to let it frustrate me. Process. Stick with the plan. When Neil and I had drawn up our gameplan for today, we thought we might have a chance to go for the green in two if necessary. The wind was more favorable today. If we were lucky, we would have a shot.

However, the hole taped out at 620 yards today. A long freakin way with the rain and lack of roll on the wet ground. There is trouble everywhere from the 14th tee, especially with wind howling. If you are left, you are in the bunkers. Too far right and you are OB (out of bounds). I lined up my drive just to the left of the church spire in the distance, Neil watched for the wind, and we timed it perfect. The ball lifted into the air and carried very far, too far, almost. It bounced twice in the fairway and carried through to the very light rough. At least we were on the correct side, the left.

While walking to the ball, we had what turned out to be the discussion for the tournament. Neil thought I should go for it in two. I wasn't so sure. "Timmy boy, what's the problem? If you lay up, you could wind up in Hell's bunker. If you go for it and are long, then you likely only have a tricky chip coming back. The wind is with you. You could lift one of your 3 wood shots up with the wind and let it roll onto the green."

I replied, "I could, but depending on the bounce off of some of those undulations, the ball could also roll into one of those bunkers near the green. We'll need a scuba suit to find it today."

"Tim, there are only 4 holes after this one, and given the situation, none of them get any easier. This is your best chance so far to make a move. Besides, you've got Maggie to think about."

"What?! What does Maggie have to do with going for it in two or not?"

"Remember? You said it, 'Fame and fortune'."

This brought a smile to my face that I desperately needed. I looked for and found our crew. I tapped Neil on the shoulder and pointed Team-Neon out to him. They were all huddled together because it was turning cold. At least we were moving around. They were watching us and giving us thumbs up. They saw us laughing and gave us a puzzled look. I blew them a kiss and turned back to the ball.

"What the hell Neil. Back in January, did you think in your grand scheme of things that you and I would be standing here, together, in this spot, on Sunday? Ha. Not even bloody Scottish engineers can plan that well."

I thought he was about to say something funny, then he said, "I bloody hell expected ONE of us to be standing here, and it wasn't me. Come on man, you've got this."

I did. I was reminded of my grandfather telling me to be at my best when others were at their worst. That seemed fitting at the moment as the rain and wind continued.

I lined up and did what I had already done roughly 130 times in the tournament. Focus. Process. Etc. Shazaam. The ball was screaming off the face of the club, a little higher than normal to let the favorable wind help carry it towards the green now. It was going well with the only question being would we get a favorable bounce. We did.

It bounced twice before reaching the green with the last bounce propelling it forward up onto the green in a final jump before settling into its roll towards the pin. In the wind and the rain and 300 yards away, it was difficult to really see how close the ball was going to be. The murmur and noise from the crowd told us we were getting close. Then a deafening roar could be heard, then an "awww", and finally a very loud applause.

Apparently, the ball had rolled right by the hole slowing to settle about 6 feet away. Neil, ever the eloquent orator, slapped me on the back and said, "Told ya!" Yes. Yes, he did. I made the eagle put, and I'm sure the whole course could hear the roar from the crowd. At that moment in time, I was 1 ahead of Bernhard and two ahead of Freddy. I would be watching to see what they did on the same hole.

On 15, I very nearly gave the stroke back, because on my second shot the ball rolled into the bunker behind the green. From the bunker I could hear a nice applause coming from the direction of 14. I assumed Bernhard made birdie, so I really needed a good up and down for par to stay tied. I blasted the ball out of the bunker and the wet sand helped me to get plenty of spin on the ball, which held on the wet green and stopped less than 8 feet from the flag. I made the putt and we moved on to 16.

While playing 16, Neil pointed out the leaderboard. It wasn't Bernhard that birdied 14, it was Freddy. Bernhard had actually made bogie on the hole. I guess he got caught in one of the bunkers, because they had been right behind us but now had slowed to have at least a full hole in between us. So at that moment, I was one in front of Freddy and two in front of Bernhard. I parred 16 and we went on to 17 - The Road Hole.

I mean who actually puts a freakin' building between the tee and the fairway? For those of you not familiar with St. Andrews lore, it is an old railway shed from many decades ago, and they left it there. So now the optimum shot is to actually hit your tee shot over the shed. It is a very long hole at 495 yards and if your 2nd shot comes in too hot, you could potentially be hitting back to the green from on top of a paved road, which they left in play. I'm surprised the don't put a windmill to the side of the green too.

Having the lead, I could put the pressure on them now by simply making par. So I played the hole conservatively, intentionally coming up a little short avoiding the bunker on the left side of the green. I chipped the ball near the pin and made my par putt. One hole left.

One of the shorter par 4s on the course, this hole wouldn't normally be that difficult except it is one of the most storied holes in golf and is the very last hole of the day with the old R&A clubhouse in the background and a championship riding on the line. Gulp. No pressure.

The lay of the land turned us so that the wind was now blowing left to right. Not exactly the setup for driving the green as some had done earlier this week. If I made a par here, Freddy would still have hope, but a birdie here would tilt the scales heavily in my favor.

For my final tee shot in a tournament that would ever mean anything to me, I repeated it one last time. Focus. Process. Splitting the log. Shazaam. It was a nice drive low and down the right side of the fairway. I was trying to curve it right to left, into the wind with the idea that it would stay close to the center of the fairway. The pin was in the very front, and so for my approach, I landed a low shot just short of the green and let it roll up onto the green, past the pin for a birdie putt. The crowd gave us a standing ovation as we approached the green.

Peter was further out and made his putt for birdie - a great shot to finish the tournament. He was guaranteed 4th place for a nice payout and an automatic invitation to next year's Senior Open. As I stood over my putt, the crowd of several thousand around that final green was amazingly quiet. Possibly the most respectful crowd in golf. Neil and I lined up the putt...and I sunk it for a birdie. The crowd let out a deafening roar. It continued for at least 30 seconds.

I turned to face Neil. We still had to wait to watch what Freddy would do, but we did the best we could. We played a fantastic round in horrific weather. But best of all, it was over. I walked over to my best friend and fell onto him, as he held me up. I was exhausted. I had kept all the drama and emotion under control for five whole days, and I didn't have to anymore. I did the best I could for my friends and my family, and we had done very well. "Thank you, my friend. I would never have thought this possible."

"Ah Timmy. You only needed to have a little faith." Then he shook my hand and slapped me on the back "And maybe a good kick in the arse." Life was good at the moment.

Unless you have been to several tournaments or watched a lot of golf on the TV, you may not realize the importance of timing on a golf course. At the moment I was making my putt, Freddy was lining up over his birdie putt on 17. Just as he was about to hit his short putt for birdie, they heard the roar from when I sunk my putt. It put him off for a moment, so he had to back up and start his putting process over.

It may have been the crowd, or maybe he just wasn't meant to make it, but he left it just a little short and made par. So unless he made an eagle on 18, I would win. As I said, the hole is only 357 yards long, so with a strong stoke and a good bounce a pro like Freddy Boom-Boom Couples could drive it all the way to the green, which is what he planned to do. Standing on the tee, he lined up and crushed it. It had a good shot at making it and even had a good bounce, but he was probably 15 feet short of the green and an additional 15 feet short of the hole.

Freddy had to choose whether to try to chip it in or putt it in to tie me; a hard choice. He decided to chip it. He hit it exactly how it needed to be hit, and his caddie pulled the pin, expecting it to go in, but at the last second it slid by the right side of the hole. It was over. We had won.

I felt like I was in a Dali painting. Could this possibly be happening? I expected to wake up back in my Chicago bed as if none of this ever happened, but it did. Neil and I carefully checked our score card, and I signed it, then turned it in at the scorer's table. The soaked and freezing girls were brought to us, now surrounded by the 4 R&A officials which had been shadowing them this last round, which made me feel better. Hugs and kisses all around and I thanked each of them for believing in me and being there.

Surprisingly, Janet leaned in and said, "I never doubted. Not for a minute." She squeezed my hand and looked me in the eye with... well, a different look than normal. There was a sincerity to the look and something else. Caring? Anyway. I discovered that her being there had meant a great deal to me, which I hadn't expected.

I would need to stick around for the trophy presentation and do a few interviews. Then, hopefully, I could get some food that hadn't been poisoned. I was starving.

I gave a brief speech and thanked the R&A for running a great tournament and to the Scottish crowd, the most knowledgeable in golf (I got a nice ovation for that one). I thanked them for preserving St. Andrews, the home of golf as a sentinel to keep golf the great game it is. Finally, I thanked my company for supporting me, my friends who convinced me to attempt this and my family, my daughters and my wife, for surprising me, supporting me and having faith in me. It was a nice applause and there were plenty of congratulations from players, officials and fans along the way to the clubhouse. Then we finally got to eat and celebrate. Champagne all around.

After we ate, the head of security pulled Neil and me to the side and said that their investigation during the day led to the suspension, and likely arrest of 3 St. Andrews staff, not including Liam, nor the food vendor, who we discovered was trying to poison us. He told us that the police officer that was questioning Liam got him to rollover on his bosses, and there would probably be some arrests over the next few days. He then assured us that the R&A would keep an eye on Maggie for her help in the matter.

After dropping Maggie at her home and getting a smokin' hot kiss from her, we returned to Neil's place for a well-earned night of rest. After I made it upstairs to the bedroom, I was preparing to change clothes for bed when I heard a knock on the door. It was Janet.

"Hey Janet. What's up?"

"Tim, I need to ask you a question. When you thanked us after the tournament, why did you announce me as your wife? I don't mind that, of course, but I don't understand."

I had expected she would ask me this sometime over the next few days. "Janet, no matter what happens to us in the future, I couldn't stand there in front of the crowd and that TV audience and say in front of everyone that those were my wonderful daughters, and you, their mother, was my ex-wife, even though it is true. It was probably the wrong thing to do, but at the time I just couldn't do it. I mean, all week long you and the girls supported us through some really nasty weather. We were a whole family for a few days, and that truly means more than you can imagine to me. I wasn't sure if either, wife or ex-wife, would embarrass you, so I went with the one that I thought would put you and the girls in the best light. I'm sorry if it upset you. That was not my intent."

"Oh, no. It didn't upset me. I'm glad you did it that way. Thank you for thinking of us. You're a good man Tim Humphry. Good night." She gave me a long hug and we parted for the night.

The next morning, we headed to Mimi's Bakehouse for a huge and relaxed brunch. I filled up on their pastries and coffees. I had actually lost weight while in Scotland, since I was walking over 5 miles each day and swinging the club a zillion times, plus not really eating much while on the course. Neil feigned soreness from carrying the bag yesterday, and we teased him that was his badge of honor. A few people recognized me and Neil, and we gave them our autographs. The owners came out and took pictures with us and asked us to sign a couple of menus for them. Surreal doesn't begin to describe it.

After lunch the girls went shopping, of course, and Neil and I headed for Maggie's. When we walked in, she saw us and launched herself at me, giving me a huge open mouth kiss. Whoa! "I'm ready for the rest of that massage you promised me." That sounded very nice.

I told her, "I'll have to give you a public one here, and then see about either my coming back here on the way home or you coming to visit."

"I can live with that." she replied.

A security firm, provided by the R&A, had shown up first thing that morning to install more cameras inside and out, with a wireless feed to a local server and a cellular feed to a central server. So if anyone tried anything, they would be caught.

She knew we were leaving tomorrow, and I wanted to stop and say goodbye. There was something going on between us, but it might take some time to see if we could really pursue it.

After leaving Maggie's, Neil and I headed downtown to the largest William Hill betting branch in the city. When we showed them our tickets, they looked up and realized who we were. He called all of his coworkers and after cashing our tickets, they wired the money to our banks. They then made several copies of the winning receipts and asked us to autograph the copies, which we did. It was the single largest payout in the history of their office...by far.

On the way back to his house, Neil and I talked it over and decided we would combine some of our winnings and pay off Maggie's loan to her parents. Her parents were too good of friends to Neil and Edith to let that sit out there when we could erase it easily. Maggie was too good a friend to let a burden like that weigh her down. Besides, we had each just won ~$3 million dollars, so this was no big deal.

We had a small dinner at a nearby family place and enjoyed our final night together. Neil offered a toast "To Tim", but I couldn't allow that. No, every person at this table contributed, wittingly or not, to our success yesterday, so I suggested the toast be changed, "To Family. All of us." and there were several "Here, here" for that.

Tuesday they took us, Team Hump, to the airport and we said our goodbyes. Neil thanked me for asking him to caddie, and I told him it really couldn't have happened any other way. I thanked him for tricking me into this, which got a nice laugh. Edith invited all of us back, whenever we wanted. I thanked my best friend for the most memorable week of my life, and we actually hugged goodbye.

Just before he let me go he said. "She's trying Tim. She's trying to be the woman you always wanted her to be. It may be too late, but I really think this is a different Janet."

"OK. Neil, I'll try, too." Though I wasn't sure if I knew how.

End of Chapter 2