All Comments on 'Ten Years'

When will people learn that 'it's' is short for 'it is' and not the genitive case, which is (in its irregular form) without an apostrophe?C489

Erotic Couplings, not Romance.

Good characters, decent pacing.

Not enough story to really be a good Romance, try Erotic Couplings for further stories of this style.

The paragraphs were huge for an Internet format. Consider shorter ones (about five lines, usually less) in the future. My eyes skipped lines or repeated them, killing the narrative momentum every time.

You've got potential- now get an experienced editor.

I'm wondering who you think your audience might be -men or women? Your premis shows merit, but the story really doesn't hang together. You've written it as a fantasy coming true, yet you could have done so much more with it. A 13 year old's dream of being loved by her piano teacher (minimum age 23) would be very different from the reality of a young woman meeting up with him ten years after he finished teaching her (presumably at age 18, but you don't make it clear), so she's 28 and he's now 38?. I know it's just a story and I really hope your friend liked it. I'm both a piano teacher and a pedant, as well as a writer, so I like stories to have at least a semblance of reality. I'm afraid my "suspension of disbelief" came crashing down very early on, mainly because you told me too much and didn't make it real by showing me.

I'm wondering who you think your audience might be -men or women? Your premis shows merit, but the story really doesn't hang together. You've written it as a fantasy coming true, yet you could have done so much more with it. A 13 year old's dream of being loved by her piano teacher (minimum age 23) would be very different from the reality of a young woman meeting up with him ten years after he finished teaching her (presumably at age 18, but you don't make it clear), so she's 28 and he's now 38?. I know it's just a story and I really hope your friend liked it. I'm both a piano teacher and a pedant, as well as a writer, so I like stories to have at least a semblance of reality. I'm afraid my "suspension of disbelief" came crashing down very early on, mainly because you told me too much and didn't make it real by showing me.

Sweet, tender, well-written, this marvelous romance story's only real flaw is its brevity.